I Wish I Had Had The Strength, And Faith, To Try

[HisChild]

[quote name='GraceUk' date='19 October 2009 - 09:30 AM' timestamp='1255969856' post='1987835']
I did recently read some websites about third orders. And one said they aren't usually for folk that are thinking about religious life in the future but decided to join a third order for the time being. I think I understood what they were getting at.

But discerning is a very difficult business I think. In the UK there was a very very long time ago in the 1970's a small religious order called the Vocation Sisters who gave out information on all religious orders. I got a pile of leaflets on all different orders from them and they also ran retreats for people who were thinking about religious life. I don't know if they are still doing that same work.

I think there is a gap for lay folk now a lot of churches have less devotions than they used to. Like Rosary Stations of the cross and Benediction. A lot of churches in the UK don't have these very often now.
[/quote]
The Vocation Sisters sounds like they had a wonderful apostolate! I wonder what happened to them?

I know what you mean about the discerning... Or rather, I understand what the websites mean. To enter a Third Order just to have something to do in the interim isn't wise. But people are in various stages of discernment. It's one thing if the person is wondering if they're called to be a nun. It's something else altogether to already know the community and have been accepted but can't enter for a year and need some spiritual uplifting in the meantime.

I've noticed near me sodalities are making a comeback. People want more than the status quo to be sure

[Gemma]

[quote name='HisChild' date='19 October 2009 - 11:47 AM' timestamp='1255963630' post='1987804']
Again, I'm just saying that that's not completely true everywhere. There are Third Orders out there that don't have First or Second Orders that accept people regardless of discernment/status. And like I said before, I've been told by not only a T.O. Benedictine group as well as a Secular Carmelite group that I'd be accepted, one as an affiliate and another as an applicant, even though discerning religious life. One even said that if I joined them, then later decided I was meant for religious life, they'd do all they could to help me get there.

That's the whole point of discernment. One hasn't made a decision, neither for religious life nor for the Third Order. As soon as one enters a Third Order, an obligation is not assumed, just as one is not assumed simply because one is a postulant in a monastery.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'we've had to devise something for them'. 'We' meaning who? Why do you (plural) feel obliged to devise a Yahoo group, getting involved in discernment? Unless by 'we', you mean religious, priests, and/or spiritual directors. Because that's the only thing that makes sense, those who actually have any business assisting discerners in that fashion, since we are talking about the very souls of these discerners. Or perhaps I misunderstand the meanings for these discernment yahoo groups you're talking about.

Regardless, a Yahoo group has nothing to do with Third Orders. But the way you worded it, it sounds like one stemmed from the other: discerners attempting to enter Third Order groups to assist with their discernment to religious life, and when that didn't happen, you decided to found a/several Yahoo group(s) for discerners. In that case, yes, I can see why one would be turned away. That's not the point of Third Orders. Since that sounds...inane, what am I missing?
[/quote]

"WE" is Cloister Outreach, an international private association of the faithful with a number of priests and religious supporting us. I'm the Coordinator.

We don't do anything unless there is a need presented. We started as a small group of cloister discerners. . .you can read the history on our website--nothing hidden. When my family got onto the internet in 2000 or thereabouts, I discerned putting our mission on the internet. Two years later, I managed to do so. Along with that were the three proposed charisms that the premier bishop of Knoxville didn't have any objections to: the Cloisterites; the Sisters of the Holy Innocents; and the Sisters of St. Lazarus Raised. (The first two are presently emerging).

Then my site started getting hits from a yahoo group and I promptly went and joined it. That was Women in Discernment. The owner and I struck up a friendship, and when she was accepted to a monastery, she made me co-owner of the group.

The next yahoo group to be founded was The Religious Habit, which now has 272 (give or take a few) members. (Women in Discernment now has 212).

Long story short, we started the other yahoo groups (delayed vocations; young vocations; ecclesia dei vocations) to meet needs. Some on women in discernment who were attracted to Novus Ordo communities were giving the EFLR discerners a hard time about it. Young discerners have their own particular needs; as do delayed vocations (those over 30). Young discerners usually take up to 7 years to find their community. Delayed vocations often find it in a shorter amount of time.

We had been recommending that discerners join Third Orders, but we started getting responses back that they were told that such were not for religious life discerners. We were, admittedly, surprised, but a canonist and consecrated virgin both supported the info.

What to do? We prayed over it, and the answer was that our Cloisterites, since we're dedicated to the preservation of vocations, needed to permit the vocational discerners to join our lay branch. I discussed it with my SD, who is involved in full-time formation in the OPs, and he gave me some pointers. Our affiliates will also be permitting religious life discerners to join their lay associates.

We are very aware that we are dealing with souls, and that is one reason for the Cloisterite Hermits. I have a number of priests and religious to whom I can go if there are questions. Cloister Outreach has enjoyed the support of every diocese in which we have ever resided. The cloistered nuns and aspiring/emerging founders love our mission, as do the discerners who come to us.

My email is foundress2003@yahoo.com . Anyone is welcome to contact me if they need clarification. Our mission is innovative and unique, and sometimes takes a few minutes of meditation to understand.

Blessings,
Gemma

[Saint Therese]

Wow.

[alleros]

Dear one; much of this is what in reality is what the world calls " a mid life crisis.

It is so common, so very usual. And so normal also.

It happens to Nuns too.. suddenly they start wondering what they would be IF they had taken that different road.

A nameless longing.

And it is the time too when many leave Orders for that reason.

It can become obsessive and can spoil what you are and have now; a huge temptation, spiritually.

Always we need to "bloom where we are planted"

Else we are truly not giving all we have and are to Him.

Please, take care?

Sometimes when we see this, we urge the woman to take the leap is she is free to do so.
And that rarely fails when they face the reality to settle them.

And maybe better to keep the dream?


Blessings from Ireland..


[quote name='DameAgnes' date='15 October 2009 - 03:52 AM' timestamp='1255596745' post='1985772']
You know, I think about it a lot. I'm married 25 years, and I love my family, my husband, my children; I feel completely blessed and I know that I was meant to marry this man. My life is very good.

And yet, I don't know if a day has gone by in my life where I have not wondered what it would have been like, if I had "taken the leap" and followed my inclinations to the monastic life.

Every day, nearly every day, I wonder about it. Nearly every day, I long for the habit and the veil. But when I was coming up the sisters and nuns all seemed so radical and angry; I didn't want any part of that. Now, I see young, healthy communities and I admit it. I long for it. I long for the opportunity to try the vocation of a religious.

I love my husband. I adore my children. But I urge those of you who are wondering, but unsure, those of you who feel called but are afraid -TAKE THE LEAP- as certain as I am that I was meant to marry, and I am certain of it, there is a part of me that has always continued to wonder.

The Lord will guide you; he guides us all. He will "guard your coming and your going." But I guess what I am saying is "do not be afraid." Trust. If you feel called strongly to marriage, look to marriage. If you feel strongly called to the religious life, look to it. Don't hold back. Give it all. It is only by giving all that you receive the abundance of blessings. God bless!
[/quote]

[alleros]

Please, may I add to what I wrote yesterday, having talked with a wiser head than mine?

Maybe these things wil help as they have done others who have endured this?

You can increase your own awareness of your holiness and spirituality - which is one vital aspect of religious life, surely?

You long for habit and veil; so adapt what you wear. The habit is above all modest; so dress very modestly. Very simply, for the habit is simple also.
Long scarves remind of the veil. So wear them and cover yoyur head if that helps

Go more often to Church; maybe at quiet times as well as Mass.

The chance are that n o one will notice or will just thing you have "got" religion..[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/saint.gif[/img]

Always know that in your calling as a wife and mother, you are giving all. You are!

Be gentle with yourself, as Jesus is with you; and never allow regrets to disturb you. Not ever.

Know that where you are at is where you are meant to be.

Older vocations is not the issue here, is it? It is being totally at peace with the 'choices" you made years ago, and giving the future to Jesus ?

Above all know that this is a very "common" thing. A life change is in you.

Blessings and peace.

[GraceUk]

I agree with what you're saying. but sometimes the pressure on people wanting to enter the religious life from parents can be really difficult. If my parents hadn't been so difficult I would have at least tried. I know it's easy to think of what might have been and you shouldn't dwell on it. that's why it's so important for young folk (or even older people who are free) who think they have a vocation to at least try and not let other people stand in the way. But that's really hard sometimes.

[Saint Therese]

My family has absolutely no sympathy or understanding of my vocation (with the exception of one person). In fact I think they think I'm nuts for wanting to be a nun. But I"m not going to let it stop me. Ya'll can't give up if that's what God wants you to do!