I Feel Like I Want To Yell At God.

[princessgianna]

[quote name='missionseeker' date='07 September 2009 - 08:51 PM' timestamp='1252374686' post='1963054']
Cuz... I don't know what I am doing or why I am here. I know that I should be here, because I am only here through some sort of grand Divine Intervention.

I sometimes want to yell because I was at a place with mountains, and seasons, taking five or six classes and working ten hours a week and could have graduated with about 7K in debt. Now I am in a swamp taking 12 classes and working 25 hours a week and will still have almost 20K in debt.

I try to keep in mind that there were problems - big ones - there and that helps, but at the same time, I wonder why. It's hard to keep working when you have no clue what you are working FOR. I still have problems with being hit on by creepy guys. Not like the stalker. Just..

And on top of that, he gave me a boyfriend (and I don't know what I'd do without him and am really grateful for him) but he's 1500 miles away in Canada and I don't even know when I'll see him next. We're hoping for Thanksgiving, but in my family, things rarely happen as they are planned. My family was supposed to go on the road with Dad about two years ago. THey are finally going to be able to now. So it's really hard for me to think that for sure I have a definite idea of when I'll see him next. And I guess this is stupid and petty, but lots of people around me are being reunited and it just .. i am just jealous. *sigh.

I hate feeling lost. Maybe it was just a really bad weekend.
[/quote]
* praying for you sister. Hang in there.
When things seem to be their toughest I think of the third verse in this song. I know this song does not directly apply but the idea about hanging in there is one we all can relate to.

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ1DHhobVVg"]Irene-Toby Mac[/url]

Listen to the third verse mostly.

[i][b]Don't waste your sorrows
They'll give you strength... tomorrow
Your Calvary's about to come so
Keep your head up, don't you ever let up
This storm will pass you be ready for the next one [/i][/b]



*one console didn't seem enough.

Later
PG

Edited September 8, 2009 by princessgianna

[StColette]

I don't know exactly how you feel, but I can definitely relate to certain parts. Being that far away from your boyfriend is very difficult. Micah and I can definitely relate to this. Being apart was really difficult, especially the more we fell in love and then especially the closer we got to our wedding date. It was torture being 1500 miles away from your fiance for 6 months prior to the wedding. It was especially difficult when I had a bad day and he wasn't there to tell me it's all okay. I was also finishing up my degree (18 hrs a wk) plus working a full time job (40+ hrs a wk) and planning a wedding. Believe me, I was a pretty depressed and angry person. I spent a lot of time in the Chapel just sitting there and crying because that's really all I felt like I could do, other than screaming at God (didn't really want to do that). But sometimes what you need is a good cry and possibly scream a little like "Why are you doing this to me !?!?!?!" You're a girl you're entitled to scream and cry!

[CatherineM]

I described it as being homesick. Some of the lyrics from Mercyme's Homesick described it perfectly for me. "I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now."

[Slappo]

[quote name='StColette' date='08 September 2009 - 06:36 PM' timestamp='1252460204' post='1963616']
I don't know exactly how you feel, but I can definitely relate to certain parts. Being that far away from your boyfriend is very difficult. Micah and I can definitely relate to this. Being apart was really difficult, especially the more we fell in love and then especially the closer we got to our wedding date. It was torture being 1500 miles away from your fiance for 6 months prior to the wedding. It was especially difficult when I had a bad day and he wasn't there to tell me it's all okay. I was also finishing up my degree (18 hrs a wk) plus working a full time job (40+ hrs a wk) and planning a wedding. Believe me, I was a pretty depressed and angry person. I spent a lot of time in the Chapel just sitting there and crying because that's really all I felt like I could do, other than screaming at God (didn't really want to do that). But sometimes what you need is a good cry and possibly scream a little like "Why are you doing this to me !?!?!?!" You're a girl you're entitled to scream and cry!
[/quote]


St. Colette, i really don't know how you did 40 hrs a week plus 18 credits... that's hardcore


MS, I'm 3,500 miles away from my fiancee, but once you hit 500 or so, the rest are just added numbers, not added heartache. I sympathize with you. I'm in a place where I know very few people, living by myself, and am uncomfortable and feel incompetent with my job very often. Let's offer our sufferings for each other that we can both persevere through our trials.

It's really hard even to follow the advice of just sitting in the chapel sometimes. I'll be praying for you in my rosary tonight.

In Christ,
Marcus

[XIX]

If I were in your situation, (or rather, when I'm in sticky situations), I would probably yell at God just to avoid directing rage at myself.

If I tee off on myself, I tend to tear myself down and utterly ridicule myself.
If I tee off on God, there's a mutual understanding that I definitely don't hate him or anything.


Just sayin.

[Christie_M]

I don't like yelling at God, but I find that keeping a notebook or journal and writing until my frustrations dissapear helps a lot with this stuff.
Also, take things one step at a time. Just look at things at a day's pace, a week at most if you're really eager, but no more. that helped releave a ton of stress on me.


I'll add you to my Rosary tonight.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Christie_M' date='09 September 2009 - 07:42 AM' timestamp='1252478529' post='1963753']
I find that keeping a notebook or journal and writing until my frustrations dissapear helps a lot with this stuff.
[/quote]
I don't journal as often now, though maybe I should. I did a lot when DH & I were long distance.