picchick Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='missionseeker' date='09 September 2009 - 01:30 AM' timestamp='1252474222' post='1963746'] that's just creepy. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/twitch.gif[/img] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif[/img] [/quote] I don't think it is creepy. I think it is more, it just happens. I don't think it can be controlled sometimes. It is not like the guy means for it to happen or he thinks bad thoughts while holding the girl's hand or looking into her eyes. He just likes her a lot and gets excited. That's how I see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varg Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 (edited) How come they're allowed to hug each other but not to grind? Not much difference Edited September 9, 2009 by Varg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picchick Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='Varg' date='09 September 2009 - 01:41 PM' timestamp='1252518097' post='1963876'] How come they're allowed to hug each other but not to grind? Not much difference [/quote] What is hugging? Can you describe it? What is grinding? Can you describe it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varg Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='picchick' date='09 September 2009 - 01:45 PM' timestamp='1252518348' post='1963878'] What is hugging? Can you describe it? What is grinding? Can you describe it? [/quote]Hugging is making physical contact with someone in an affectionate way, usually wrapping your arms around them. Grinding is like rubbing your crotch against someone (I think). It's not very good, I prefer moonwalking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='missionseeker' date='09 September 2009 - 01:30 AM' timestamp='1252474222' post='1963746'] that's just creepy. [/quote] Not creepy, just true. Some of the most chaste men I know struggle with that often. It's not their intention to become aroused just by holding hands or looking into their significant others eyes. It just one of those things that happen. Most of the men I've talked to about this say it isn't because of the physical touch from holding hands or being close to someone, but because they love the person so dearly that those feelings of attraction are naturally there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picchick Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='Varg' date='09 September 2009 - 01:50 PM' timestamp='1252518639' post='1963882'] Hugging is making physical contact with someone in an affectionate way, usually wrapping your arms around them. Grinding is like rubbing your crotch against someone (I think). It's not very good, I prefer moonwalking [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smokey.gif[/img] [/quote] Yes. So now maybe you can see. Hugging is innocent unless the intention there is to arouse the other person. Grinding is intentionally used to arouse. [quote name='StColette' date='09 September 2009 - 01:52 PM' timestamp='1252518740' post='1963883'] Not creepy, just true. Some of the most chaste men I know struggle with that often. It's not their intention to become aroused just by holding hands or looking into their significant others eyes. It just one of those things that happen. Most of the men I've talked to about this say it isn't because of the physical touch from holding hands or being close to someone, but because they love the person so dearly that those feelings of attraction are naturally there. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theoketos Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 I don't think that there should be high school dances, though I am sure I could keep my job if I said it too loudly and too often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='StColette' date='09 September 2009 - 10:52 AM' timestamp='1252518740' post='1963883'] Not creepy, just true. Some of the most chaste men I know struggle with that often. It's not their intention to become aroused just by holding hands or looking into their significant others eyes. It just one of those things that happen. Most of the men I've talked to about this say it isn't because of the physical touch from holding hands or being close to someone, but because they love the person so dearly that those feelings of attraction are naturally there. [/quote] and to your other post too Colette! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 ok.. so it's not creepy, I guess. But what do you do then? Like... would it then be sinful for him to look in her eyes? To hold her hand? How do you balance that? I'm not very experienced in this stuff. I just know I like being close. But what do you do if that becomes a problem? how do you get around that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='missionseeker' date='09 September 2009 - 02:54 PM' timestamp='1252522463' post='1963904'] ok.. so it's not creepy, I guess. But what do you do then? Like... would it then be sinful for him to look in her eyes? To hold her hand? How do you balance that? I'm not very experienced in this stuff. I just know I like being close. But what do you do if that becomes a problem? how do you get around that? [/quote] Sometimes sexual arousal is going to be difficult to avoid, such as the case with guys who get aroused by holding hands or looking into their girlfriend's eyes. What I was told by a few gentlemen who spoke with priests about the matter is that it's okay to continue holding hands and such even if they become aroused. The thing to avoid is if that hand holding or eye gazing makes you really want to take it to a place you can't go and you feel like you can't control yourself. Sexual arousal isn't a sinful; it's something very natural and it's there for a reason. It's what you do with that sexual arousal which can be sinful or not. If it's the case where the guy can't hold hands or gaze into their girlfriend's eyes without great difficulty of staying chaste then it's best to avoid holding hands and eye gazing. As much as girls like to be close to their guys, it's more important that their men lead holy lives free from any added temptations. All the men that I've spoke with about this usually don't have that uncontrollable urge to go further, they just love their girlfriends or fiancees and naturally find them arousing (not a bad thing). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='missionseeker' date='09 September 2009 - 11:54 AM' timestamp='1252522463' post='1963904'] ok.. so it's not creepy, I guess. But what do you do then? Like... would it then be sinful for him to look in her eyes? To hold her hand? How do you balance that? I'm not very experienced in this stuff. I just know I like being close. But what do you do if that becomes a problem? how do you get around that? [/quote] You make sure to wear clothes that won't show anything Sometimes it can even happen talking on the phone... (speaking of which my fiance is calling!) ok im back If the guy realizes that every time it happens he also starts thinking about trying to go further with the girl, especially if he starts acting on that and pushing boundaries a little bit, then he needs to step back and take more precautions. Arousal itself is by no means a sin, neither is every action that causes arousal outside of the context of marriage a sin. To do those things for the purpose of arousal, or to do things which in themselves are meant moreso for the purpose of arousal would be wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='Slappo' date='09 September 2009 - 03:41 PM' timestamp='1252525310' post='1963937'] You make sure to wear clothes that won't show anything Sometimes it can even happen talking on the phone... (speaking of which my fiance is calling!) ok im back If the guy realizes that every time it happens he also starts thinking about trying to go further with the girl, especially if he starts acting on that and pushing boundaries a little bit, then he needs to step back and take more precautions. Arousal itself is by no means a sin, neither is every action that causes arousal outside of the context of marriage a sin. To do those things for the purpose of arousal, or to do things which in themselves are meant moreso for the purpose of arousal would be wrong. [/quote] at the clothes comment and to the rest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lounge Daddy Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 I know this is all the way from the first page of a really looong thread. But... [quote name='MissyP89' date='01 August 2009 - 10:52 PM' timestamp='1249181524' post='1938465'] Not necessarily. I'd say the same thing about kissing or backrubs or whatever. [/quote] I do say the same thing about kissing and backrubs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lounge Daddy Posted September 9, 2009 Share Posted September 9, 2009 [quote name='Slappo' date='09 September 2009 - 03:41 PM' timestamp='1252525310' post='1963937'] ... Arousal itself is by no means a sin, neither is every action that causes arousal outside of the context of marriage a sin. ... [/quote] And I do agree that arousal is not a sin. Sometimes that gets forgotten, as silly as that is. Putting oneself directly into an occasion of sin is never a good idea. And I would say that deliberating bumping one's crotch against another's crotch repeatedly, and so forth, would fall under that heading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffpugh Posted September 10, 2009 Share Posted September 10, 2009 Enlightening. Thanks, all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts