VeniteAdoremus Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 So, I have a friend, whom I haven't been very close with the last couple of years because of mutual lack of time, but we've been in the same extended friend group for forever (and even went out on half a disastrous date 200 years ago). He broke up with his girlfriend a couple of years ago, and some time later met Ellis. I never met Ellis, but he always talked about his "girlfriend", and used "she". Now they're getting civilly married, and it turns out Ellis is a he. Er. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resurrexi Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Oh. Wow... that's very upsetting. Did he invite you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 [quote name='Resurrexi' post='1933745' date='Jul 28 2009, 03:46 PM'][/quote] My thoughts exactly. [quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1933746' date='Jul 28 2009, 03:47 PM']Oh. Wow... that's very upsetting. Did he invite you?[/quote] He's asked me whether I want an invite, which is quite thoughtful of him I think... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 And you said.....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varg Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Be happy for him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 I'm trying to think of how I'm going to say no. Apart from the obvious stuff, it would also be the last time I saw many of our mutual friends before entering the convent, and that would just be too weird. So now I'm tied between telling him what I actually think or just saying I'm too busy with entering. And I don't know what I actually think! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resurrexi Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 [quote name='Varg' post='1933759' date='Jul 28 2009, 08:10 AM']Be happy for him![/quote] [img]http://collectibles-yardsale.com/__oneclick_uploads/2008/06/trolls-doll-striped-swimming-trunks.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 [quote name='Varg' post='1933759' date='Jul 28 2009, 04:10 PM']Be happy for him![/quote] I'm happy that he's happy. But I do think he's doing something that in the end won't make him happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varg Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 [quote name='Resurrexi' post='1933763' date='Jul 28 2009, 08:14 AM'][img]http://collectibles-yardsale.com/__oneclick_uploads/2008/06/trolls-doll-striped-swimming-trunks.jpg[/img][/quote]*sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I see nothing wrong with giving your friends the gift of presence. Being there doesn't mean you agree with their choices, though if you can find a way to tactfully express that while making it clear that you'll continue to be there for them and pray for them, then there won't be any confusion about your intentions and they'll know where to turn many years from now should they want to follow Christ. If it's too much for you, then maybe you shouldn't be there. I just hate to see so many Christians' first reaction to be withdrawing from the very people who need us most. As long as we aren't allowing the world to influence us, we need to be out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 Hm... I think I agree, but how would one tactfully express one's disagreement? I just don't see a way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 [quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1933772' date='Jul 28 2009, 09:35 AM']I see nothing wrong with giving your friends the gift of presence. Being there doesn't mean you agree with their choices, though if you can find a way to tactfully express that while making it clear that you'll continue to be there for them and pray for them, then there won't be any confusion about your intentions and they'll know where to turn many years from now should they want to follow Christ. If it's too much for you, then maybe you shouldn't be there. I just hate to see so many Christians' first reaction to be withdrawing from the very people who need us most. As long as we aren't allowing the world to influence us, we need to be out there.[/quote] The only problem I see with this is not only would she have to make her stance clear to her friend but also to any other guests present. It's not only the couple that could be confused by her presence there but also the other guests. And I agree that we need to be out in the world, but we must be mindful of how we represent the Church in the world. Attendance at a gay civil union could cause great scandal. Venite, I believe you're involved closely with a religious community, correct? I would possibly run the situation by Mother (or Sister) Superior or another Sister perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 [quote name='StColette' post='1933800' date='Jul 28 2009, 05:57 PM']The only problem I see with this is not only would she have to make her stance clear to her friend but also to any other guests present. It's not only the couple that could be confused by her presence there but also the other guests. And I agree that we need to be out in the world, but we must be mindful of how we represent the Church in the world. Attendance at a gay civil union could cause great scandal.[/quote] That's what I was worried about. I don't think they'd like me to show up in a t-shirt saying "I love you, just not what you're doing right now". [quote name='StColette' post='1933800' date='Jul 28 2009, 05:57 PM']Venite, I believe you're involved closely with a religious community, correct? I would possibly run the situation by Mother (or Sister) Superior or another Sister perhaps.[/quote] of course! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamiller42 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I would say it's because I like you as a friend that I can't go. If I didn't like you or care about you, I would attend. I can't support something I know is harmful you for even if you don't see it that way. It may feel right, but feelings do not decide what is objectively right or wrong. I hope you understand and respect where I am coming from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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