Jaime Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I would suggest therapy. (No I'm not being a smart a**) You seem to be taking the attitude that women just don't "get you" (I'm paraphrasing). The point of your whole post seems to be that its unfair to you. Well there's only one constant variable in your lifetime and that's you. The most likely answer is that its probably something you're doing, unconsciously or not. And since you're bringing this up, you are all over the map dude. You say you can't find a woman who shares your conservative values then you throw out that you might be an atheist? And if you're so conservative, why have you continued to share so inappropriately on a forum where there are teenagers? I have read a half a dozen posts by you that were completely inappropriate and honestly, I haven't seen one that espouses the conservative belief that you claim to hold. You can't even get through this post without bringing up something titilating (which has NOTHING to do with your post). You're upset that your priest won't talk in specifics about Jesus's values but you want to talk about topless beaches? You posted this looking for replies so here's mine. I think you got issues dude. I get that you're lonely and that does smell of elderberries. Loneliness can cause some inappropriate behavior and its possible you're demonstrating inappropriate behavior on your dates as well without even realizing it. Find a therapist and be completely honest with him/her. Brutally brazenly honest. If the therapist is worth his/her salt, (s)he can assess within a few sessions whether or not you could use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I agree with hot stuff. as well, its like all the guys that always complain about "girls never going for the nice guys" when really the big difference between them and the "jerks" girls do like to date, is that a jerk actually has the guts to ask out a woman he is interested in. life doesnt fall into your lap because you are "nice". nice guys can be very antisocial as well even if they dont recognize it. oh and hygiene probably has something to do with that. so go to that therapist and get yourself worked out,, hate to say it, but 44 years with no luck maybe you should look at your methods a little more closely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zunshynn Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 [quote]You seem to be taking the attitude that women just don't "get you" (I'm paraphrasing). The point of your whole post seems to be that its unfair to you. Well there's only one constant variable in your lifetime and that's you. The most likely answer is that its probably something you're doing, unconsciously or not. And since you're bringing this up, you are all over the map dude. You say you can't find a woman who shares your conservative values then you throw out that you might be an atheist? And if you're so conservative, why have you continued to share so inappropriately on a forum where there are teenagers? I have read a half a dozen posts by you that were completely inappropriate and honestly, I haven't seen one that espouses the conservative belief that you claim to hold. You can't even get through this post without bringing up something titilating (which has NOTHING to do with your post). You're upset that your priest won't talk in specifics about Jesus's values but you want to talk about topless beaches?[/quote] I think j[i][/i]aime has a good point. You seem a little... overwhelming to me, based on what I've read of your posts. I don't mean this to be unkind at all, but you do sound very self-centered, and pretty negative much of the time... and maybe a therapist could help you with that. Even if you are still trying, using ave maria singles and such, you sound like you don't expect to be able to find anyone... and yes, like life has just been really unfair to you. Like everything is someone else's fault... it's because of California, or because of San Diego... or because of this parish. I think it's quite possible that maybe you are unconsciously sabotaging yourself this way. You do seem to have a tendency to talk about inappropriate things, at least on the internet, that could at least be handled more tactfully, with less detail, if you are going to bring it up. If you do that in real life with women you are interested in that could be a problem... and because you may not even realize when you are doing it, it could be an even bigger problem. You also seem to really dislike your parish... this isn't the first time I recall you bringing it up, and because it really doesn't seem relevant to your post here, it sounds like it might actually be a big problem. If you're looking for a nice Catholic woman, complaining about your parish constantly might not be giving those types of women the impression that you are the good Catholic man they would consider marrying. If you seem like you're not that stable in your faith that is going to send up a red flag to anyone looking to marry a solid Catholic. I know there are good parishes in the diocese of San Diego. Even if you have to go a bit out of the way, maybe you should consider going somewhere else if it is such an issue. But at the same time, no parish is going to be perfect, but that doesn't mean you can't benefit from it, if you are open to that. You may also seriously think about moving somewhere else... it really doesn't sound like you like SoCal at all... so now, when you're not married, may be the time to go elsewhere. But at the same time, once again, it isn't where you live that is causing you problems... its that you are choosing to find fault with it, it seems like. Moving somewhere won't solve anything if you have a tendency to find fault with everything and wont fix it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 If you move somewhere there are more women than men you have the odds in your favor; plus you can be more discerning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 [quote name='hot stuff' date='30 November 2009 - 10:21 AM' timestamp='1259594509' post='2011925'] I would suggest therapy. (No I'm not being a smart a**) You seem to be taking the attitude that women just don't "get you" (I'm paraphrasing). The point of your whole post seems to be that its unfair to you. Well there's only one constant variable in your lifetime and that's you. The most likely answer is that its probably something you're doing, unconsciously or not. And since you're bringing this up, you are all over the map dude. You say you can't find a woman who shares your conservative values then you throw out that you might be an atheist? And if you're so conservative, why have you continued to share so inappropriately on a forum where there are teenagers? I have read a half a dozen posts by you that were completely inappropriate and honestly, I haven't seen one that espouses the conservative belief that you claim to hold. You can't even get through this post without bringing up something titilating (which has NOTHING to do with your post). You're upset that your priest won't talk in specifics about Jesus's values but you want to talk about topless beaches? You posted this looking for replies so here's mine. I think you got issues dude. I get that you're lonely and that does smell of elderberries. Loneliness can cause some inappropriate behavior and its possible you're demonstrating inappropriate behavior on your dates as well without even realizing it. Find a therapist and be completely honest with him/her. Brutally brazenly honest. If the therapist is worth his/her salt, (s)he can assess within a few sessions whether or not you could use it. [/quote] [quote name='Jesus_lol' date='30 November 2009 - 12:15 PM' timestamp='1259601323' post='2011985'] I agree with hot stuff. as well, its like all the guys that always complain about "girls never going for the nice guys" when really the big difference between them and the "jerks" girls do like to date, is that a jerk actually has the guts to ask out a woman he is interested in. life doesnt fall into your lap because you are "nice". nice guys can be very antisocial as well even if they dont recognize it. oh and hygiene probably has something to do with that. so go to that therapist and get yourself worked out,, hate to say it, but 44 years with no luck maybe you should look at your methods a little more closely. [/quote] I agree. Life doesn't change [i]for[/i] you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zunshynn Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 by the way, [url="http://www.catholictherapists.com/"]CatholicTherapists.com[/url] may be a good resource for finding a solid Catholic therapist relatively close to you. It was recommended to me by a very good priest, and actually most of the California therapists listed are in SoCal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Have you ever considered the possibility that you may be trying too hard? You come off as absolutely desperate here, and I can say as a young woman that neediness is ridiculously frustrating and unattractive. Negativity will get you nowhere. As long as you give into that and complain, you won't attract good things. Believe it or not, the way we feel inside really does have an effect on our personalities and how others see us. Try to be more confident and positive. Focus on your good qualities, and stop obsessing over finding a woman....they come when you stop looking. Pray. You need to be right with God before you are ready for a relationship, and as someone who is thinking about atheism, there is probably something you need to work out with Him. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 and i can say that while many posts in here(including mine) are hardly likely to make you feel better about yourself, they aren't said in spite. We wish you well, but sometimes what people need is a swift kick in the backside to get their lives on track. and tbh, you did kind of ask for it with putting "have i been a jerk lately?" at the start of your post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 hey y'all. fyi, the OP was in July. As in summer. It's winter now. Just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Oh. Right then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 dang it Saint Therese! bumping all the old threads! oh well, he is still here, and if he had found somebody i am sure we would have heard of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Don't try to blame all this on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 [quote name='Saint Therese' date='30 November 2009 - 04:33 PM' timestamp='1259616792' post='2012125'] Don't try to blame all this on me. [/quote] you bumped you blamed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 I ain't the one who told dude he needed therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 awkward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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