southern california guy Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 Have I been a jerk lately...? I find San Diego strangely frustrating. Like I've said in some of my earlier posts "Young Adults" are a BIG thing down here. They're for ages up to 39. And I'm 43...... Physically I'm in better shape than I was at twenty. But my hairs thinned a little and I'm over 40... And I don't feel old enough for the older women -- or young enough for the younger women who still seem to want the same sorts of things that I would (Buy a house, start a family, start a life!) Gawd I'd still love to find the right girl, get married, and start a family. I want it in the absolute worst way possible! I'm so lonely some times that it hurts.. But just not enough to compromise my beliefs and go for someone with less conservative beliefs than me.... I look at the women on the Catholic personal adds and it seems that the women 40 and over don't have the same conservative beliefs -- and the women under forty (In San Diego) won't consider a guy 40 or over (I can probably thank Saint Brigid for that... Strange. ). I just can't do it. I just can't feel comfortable with women who are pro-abortion and don't agree with the church on no pre-marital sex. Sometimes I think that I'm an atheist. But you know what, I'm really not. When it gets right down to it I am an old fashioned Catholic through and through. It's like at Mass today when the priest was saying that we should follow the teachings of Jesus I found it frustrating that he was being so vague. It's like "Com'on talk about the values that Jesus taught!!!!!" (Politically correct so as not to offend anyone?). My job just isn't glamorous enough for the ambitious San Diego crowd (I drive a tranfer truck ("Semi") Tranfering garbage from a transfer station to a land fill). I have a super stable job -- with zero status... And I'm old... Even if I don't feel like it. I don't know.. I think I'm going to go out and plant some sweet potato plants in the garden. I know it's late but this is Southern California! However this is probably why I don't fit in down here... I should probably be down at the beach... And speaking of California a woman the other day was telling me that her brother is going to UC Santa Cruz. She said that her parents visited -- and they were shocked. Apparently in Santa Cruz the women have been protesting that men can go topless -- and women can't. So not only are some of the women at UCSC going topless at the beach -- but they're also going to classes topless, and even spending the whole day topless.. Is California crazy, or what! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 [quote name='southern california guy' post='1925084' date='Jul 19 2009, 06:17 PM']... Is California crazy, or what![/quote] This sentence is known to the state of California to cause cancer. ---------------- Now playing: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/coldplay/track/life+in+technicolor"]Coldplay - Life in Technicolor[/url] via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url] Sorry to hear your going through a rough time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritas Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 + I've heard good things about Catholic Match and Ave Maria Singles. Be proactive! Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Sorry to hear about you're struggles, but don't lose faith! Prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 If you were in Edmonton, I'd know exactly who to fix you up with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel*Star Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 [quote name='Veritas' post='1925134' date='Jul 19 2009, 08:07 PM']+ I've heard good things about Catholic Match and Ave Maria Singles. Be proactive! Good luck.[/quote] I have as well heard good things about Catholic Match. I am sure Ava Maria Singles is just as good. Hang in there and pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 [quote name='Veritas' post='1925134' date='Jul 19 2009, 08:07 PM']+ I've heard good things about Catholic Match and Ave Maria Singles. Be proactive! Good luck.[/quote] I met my husband through Catholic Match. When we got married, I was 32 and he was 44. There is hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southern california guy Posted July 21, 2009 Author Share Posted July 21, 2009 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1925807' date='Jul 20 2009, 04:08 PM']If you were in Edmonton, I'd know exactly who to fix you up with.[/quote] Wouldn't she like to come to California! And thanks to everyone for the encouragement. I'm trying with both Catholic Match and Ave Maria Singles. I haven't given up yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 [quote name='southern california guy' post='1925084' date='Jul 19 2009, 06:17 PM']Have I been a jerk lately...? I find San Diego strangely frustrating. Like I've said in some of my earlier posts "Young Adults" are a BIG thing down here. They're for ages up to 39. And I'm 43...... Physically I'm in better shape than I was at twenty. But my hairs thinned a little and I'm over 40... And I don't feel old enough for the older women -- or young enough for the younger women who still seem to want the same sorts of things that I would (Buy a house, start a family, start a life!) I'd still love to find the right girl, get married, and start a family. I want it in the absolute worst way possible! I'm so lonely some times that it hurts.. But just not enough to compromise my beliefs and go for someone with less conservative beliefs than me.... I look at the women on the Catholic personal adds and it seems that the women 40 and over don't have the same conservative beliefs -- and the women under forty (In San Diego) won't consider a guy 40 or over (I can probably thank Saint Brigid for that... Strange. ). I just can't do it. I just can't feel comfortable with women who are pro-abortion and don't agree with the church on no pre-marital sex. Sometimes I think that I'm an atheist. But you know what, I'm really not. When it gets right down to it I am an old fashioned Catholic through and through. It's like at Mass today when the priest was saying that we should follow the teachings of Jesus I found it frustrating that he was being so vague. It's like "Com'on talk about the values that Jesus taught!!!!!" (Politically correct so as not to offend anyone?). My job just isn't glamorous enough for the ambitious San Diego crowd (I drive a tranfer truck ("Semi") Tranfering garbage from a transfer station to a land fill). I have a super stable job -- with zero status... And I'm old... Even if I don't feel like it. I don't know.. I think I'm going to go out and plant some sweet potato plants in the garden. I know it's late but this is Southern California! However this is probably why I don't fit in down here... I should probably be down at the beach... And speaking of California a woman the other day was telling me that her brother is going to UC Santa Cruz. She said that her parents visited -- and they were shocked. Apparently in Santa Cruz the women have been protesting that men can go topless -- and women can't. So not only are some of the women at UCSC going topless at the beach -- but they're also going to classes topless, and even spending the whole day topless.. Is California crazy, or what![/quote] I just got dumped yesterday because she is going to spend a year in a religious community (and may stay there). She said, "that's the risk you take when dating a religious girl" and she then sighed that I may need to find a "bad girl" in order to get married (to which I bluntly responded "I'm not looking for a pagan Jezebel"). Now, I know from her tone and facial expression that she was not trying to be insulting; however, more than anything, I think that statement was what kicked me in the family jewels (so to speak), and it begs the question: is marriage only for "bad boys" and "bad girls"? In order to get married and restore family robbed from me when I was growing , am I going to have to debase myself and settle for a pagan Jezebel who can't return the 100% I will be giving her and will only end up poisoning my faith? [quote name='southern california guy' post='1925084' date='Jul 19 2009, 06:17 PM']My job just isn't glamorous enough for the ambitious San Diego crowd (I drive a tranfer truck ("Semi") Tranfering garbage from a transfer station to a land fill). I have a super stable job -- with zero status...[/quote] Well, you can tell women that it is one job that can't be outsourced to India! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 (edited) I feel your pain. Not with the dating part, as I am married -- but I live overseas in the UK. I am in a period in my life where I feel very stuck, in a purgatorial like state, I feel my life and as far as where my husband and I should be got set back several years because of the immigration and adjustment process, and I feel like we are "behind" or "different" from our peers our age, at least mine back home. But I guess that's nothing new, in my case I've always been strange. And I definitely don't fit in around these parts. I think I'm starting to get used to it, though. Some aspects of California is pretty annoying as far as being a Catholic goes. I have a friend who joined the Church but completely fell away when she moved down there. It might have eventually happened anyway but I feel a lot went on around her that accelerated the process. If I wasn't a Catholic, I would be an agnostic. Of the lazy sort that would just go fishing on the weekends. Atheism seems like it would take too much conscious effort to not believe in something if I was supposed to be so down on religion. Edited July 21, 2009 by Ash Wednesday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 [quote name='southern california guy' post='1926060' date='Jul 20 2009, 10:27 PM']Wouldn't she like to come to California! [/quote] I don't think she could give up her cross country skiing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didacus Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 purgatory purgatory purgatory... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 [quote name='Norseman82' post='1926076' date='Jul 20 2009, 11:42 PM']I just got dumped yesterday because she is going to spend a year in a religious community (and may stay there).[/quote] Dude, that is rough. I'm sorry that happened. I'll say a few prayers on your behalf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Take dance lessons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted November 30, 2009 Share Posted November 30, 2009 Have you considered moving to an are where there a fewer men than women? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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