Cohabitation Before Engagement = Higher Divorce

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1930625' date='Jul 24 2009, 10:30 AM']I think it's valuable to understand why people behave in a certain way, so that you can more effectively address a problem. I've found, in my experience with people, that "The Church says don't do it" is typically not a strong motivator for people who don't have the same faith background I do. Of course, the people who do have the same faith background I do are typically not living together prior to marriage.[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
exactly! and for a lot of young couples, that want to be married in the Church, it's not particularly because it's important to them, but that the Church is pretty or it's because mom & dad want them to. a lot of them already think that the Church 'interferes' with their lives in the bedroom. ()

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1930629' date='Jul 24 2009, 12:34 PM']+J.M.J.+
exactly! and for a lot of young couples, that want to be married in the Church, it's not particularly because it's important to them, but that the Church is pretty or it's because mom & dad want them to. a lot of them already think that the Church 'interferes' with their lives in the bedroom. ()[/quote]


I hear this a lot. Family expectations play a big role in weddings, imo, perhaps even more than personal convictions. We were pretty lucky on that front, in that our families were pretty hands off. Mainly that was because we paid for it ourselves, though. When parents are contributing $$, they tend to attach strings to it.

[CatherineM]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1930629' date='Jul 24 2009, 11:34 AM']+J.M.J.+
exactly! and for a lot of young couples, that want to be married in the Church, it's not particularly because it's important to them, but that the Church is pretty or it's because mom & dad want them to. a lot of them already think that the Church 'interferes' with their lives in the bedroom. ()[/quote]

That doesn't just work for the weddings, but also for the baptisms and first communions. The kids are there because of grandma.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1930663' date='Jul 24 2009, 11:14 AM']That doesn't just work for the weddings, but also for the baptisms and first communions. The kids are there because of grandma.[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
yep. heard that too.

[tinytherese]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1930650' date='Jul 24 2009, 12:58 PM']When parents are contributing $$, they tend to attach strings to it.[/quote]

Yea, I know someone who said that when her parents were getting married that their parents would only pay for the wedding if it was done as they wanted it. Then at the last minute they're parents all of a sudden decided not to pay for it, but it was too late for them to have it the way that they wanted it and it took them a considerable amount of time to pay for it themselves.

[tinytherese]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1930663' date='Jul 24 2009, 01:14 PM']That doesn't just work for the weddings, but also for the baptisms and first communions. The kids are there because of grandma.[/quote]

It also can happen for confirmation. Some kids only do it because their parents want them to but in their hearts they don't even want to be Catholic and then once they go to college or leave the house they join another church, other religion, or become atheists.