Write A Story About Resurrexi

[Paddington]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1915894' date='Jul 9 2009, 03:40 PM']Unfortunately, the off-brand Gatorade did not agree with him and he died.

[b]The end.[/b] [/quote]

1. I really didn't expect that from you.
2. It can't end. It just can't.

[kafka]

[quote name='Paddington' post='1915904' date='Jul 9 2009, 02:49 PM']1. I really didn't expect that from you.
2. It can't end. It just can't.

[/quote]


The 'un-dead' havent even shown up yet. And he hasnt yet come to the point where he revises Beowolf into a modern zombie story which ends up being his own autobiography.

[Paddington]

[quote name='kafka' post='1915908' date='Jul 9 2009, 03:52 PM']

The 'un-dead' havent even shown up yet. And he hasnt yet come to the point where he revises Beowolf into a modern zombie story which ends up being his own autobiography.

[/quote]

Whoa! Trippy. I like, I like.

[QuoteMan]

Can Res fight the zombies with a katana?

[Paddington]

*ahem*


Res wrote five progressively better outlines of Beowolf and followed it with a full 10 pages.
Then it occurred to him that he [i]does not[/i] remember enough and that his time would be better spent reading Harper, who was nailed shut. "And I'm certainly not going to read one of those Protestant Bibles from Wal-Mart. Heck no! But maybe it is getting to that point," said Res to mute Harper.

Res consoled himself with the fact that he still had the lake, marsh and several streams. He had a new tent from Wal-Mart and then there were the thousands of blank sheets of copy paper.

"What's that Harper? You want me to get a car? That's crazy. The nearest car is half of the way to Wal-Mart and I don't have any keys for it. Even if I could hotwire it somehow, the sulphurous air could blow us up. We have everything we need right here," said Res.

[rachael]

[Paddington]

[quote name='rachael' post='1915951' date='Jul 9 2009, 04:21 PM'][/quote]

Fa real?

[Paddington]

*edit for harmony*

Edited July 9, 2009 by Paddington

[kafka]

"Did you hear that Res?" replied Harper in an eerie voice somehow resembling the computer HAL from A Space Odyssey 2001.

"Hear what?" replied Res, wondering if it was really Harper talking or an unconscious memory of HAL projecting into this increasingly disoriented post-apocalyptic landscape, or if he heard anything at all, let alone even seen A Space Odyssey, when suddenly out from the trees a faint silouette appeared. Res squinted his eyes and in fear blindly started to reach for his supply of holy water or his spear or something, thinking to himself, "This is worse than The Blair Witch Project."

The silouette took one step further and the fire lit up its oozing psychedelicly narled face. For he was one of the undead.

"Zombies!" yelled Res.

"Affirmative" answered Harper (or was it HAL?)

And suddenly all hell broke loose in camp . . .

Edited July 9, 2009 by kafka

[Paddington]

Res grabbed a burning stick from the fire and waved it towards the zombies to coax them in the tent. They fell for it and Res pulled down the zipper before setting the tent on fire. He pulled the half-burned tent into the lake, and said, "it is an error to say that burning zombies is against the will of this Catholic" before wiping off his hands and turning back towards Harper.

Res had a sinking feeling. "It is an error to say that I'm not cold and endangered."

[kafka]

Pondering his fate, he sat back down only too notice his stack of Wally-World paper and cheap Bics were destroyed by the zombies. "So much for the Beowolf, Harper." he sighed. To lift his heavyness, he reached down and picked up a can of expired peaches from 2011 thinking to himself,

"That was the year I got promoted on Phatmass to Church Scholar. The days of glory. Oh where are my rolling threads of theological mastery? It has all come down to this."

As he ate, he noticed something disturbing on the can of peaches. Off to the side of the can, written over the upc code in magic marker was the most curious phrase CHUMPS UNITE. He thought, "Where have I seen that before?" And then it dawned on him:

"Mikolbe is alive!"

Edited July 9, 2009 by kafka

[rachael]

[quote name='Paddington' post='1915953' date='Jul 9 2009, 03:24 PM']Fa real? [/quote]

[Paddington]

Res tossed and turned most of the night, but eventually fell asleep.

*dream sequence*

Res walks through the forest scavenging for berries, herbs and rustic tools.
He is in his 40's, dressed in a medieval robe and tights with majestic hair and a piercing gaze.
The sun glistens from his contemplative face.
He comes upon TTM sleeping on a stone table that somebody put in the forest for no good reason. TTM wakes up afraid, then smiles at Res and walks towards him joyfully.

TTM: I have dreamed of this day.
Res: Fair wench, it is praiseworthy to re-settle the earth, but we must exhaust all avenues before marrying without a priest.
TTM: You just want to be Pope. That's why you won't commit.
Res: But, but, but...
TTM: Goodbye.

*end dream*

Res wakes up sweaty and terrified. He mourns TTM, who was overmatched by the mighty meteor. Maybe she would have eventually loved him. Harper doesn't comment either way.

There is rustling in the bush and a turned over picnic basket. Res prepares for a bruin, and nearly throws his spear through MIkolbe, who was busy writing cryptic messages on canned goods. "There goes my hermit status," mutters Res.

[Paddington]

[quote name='rachael' post='1916021' date='Jul 9 2009, 05:38 PM'][/quote]

[kafka]

for a moment there I thought Res was going to sacrifice TTM on the table like Abraham and Isaac or a human sacrifice to a god





o.k. I'm up let me think if not tommorrow