carmelite15 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 If you promise God that you stay a virgin for him and become a nun and you will not have a boyfriend everand later you say you dont want all that is that a BIG SIN? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 (edited) Don't let your heart be troubled about this ... speak to Father about it in Confession. He can dispense you from any promises or vows you think you may have made. Edited June 7, 2009 by Lilllabettt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 God has called you to a certain state in life. Whatever that is, you are called to live chastely. The real question should be, are you pursuing the state in life that you feel God is calling you to? God will not force you to do anything, but you will never find the happiness and peace elsewhere that you will find when you respond to your vocation (whatever that is). If you promised God this, and then later found that you were called to another state in life, then the promise was contrary to what God wanted from you in the first place. Ask Him that you will have the grace to know His will for you and the grace to follow that whole heartedly. Also, such promises should probably only be made with approval of your confessor. God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SponsaChristi Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 [quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1885145' date='Jun 7 2009, 05:23 AM']Don't let your heart be troubled about this ... speak to Father about it in Confession. He can dispense you from any promises or vows you think you may have made.[/quote] This is a very good advice I think - you father confessor knows you very well. And he will know what to do when you ask him... But you really should pray and reflect about what God wants you to [u]be[/u]... You´ll be in my prayer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritas Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 + This is not necessarily a 'big sin'. Like all sins, it depends on the free-will and awareness you had when making such a promise. Talk to a good priest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnavarro61 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 This one is told by a Minim nun: a lady did something that made her very successful.. she promised to God that if ever she becomes so successful, she will enter the monastery of the Minim nuns. But when she entered the monastery, she got so sick and she knows she's not for the religious life but she tried to persevere because she promised it. Then the Minim nuns told her: [b]You do not enter a convent because you promised. You enter a convent because God calls you.[/b] The lady became so happy! She left the monastery, found a husband and now she's a wife serving the Lord! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 [quote name='tnavarro61' post='1886195' date='Jun 8 2009, 10:20 AM'][b]You do not enter a convent because you promised. You enter a convent because God calls you.[/b][/quote] Very good point. (Unless you're St. Teresa of Avila, but very little people are. She said she didn't have a vocation but just stuck it out because she knew it was the best way to holiness... now that I think about it, that [i]is[/i] what a vocation is.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 There are really far too many factors involved for a web phorum to make a determination (which would be a guess at best, considering we can't read hearts) on whether something would be a sin or not. You should speak with a priest, vocation director, or other spiritual mentor. A few things to keep in mind: 1. Some promises to God are irrational and come from a lack of discernment; without significant reflection for the promise to be considered binding (in the same way we can't commit mortal sin without some deliberation, neither can we commit ourselves to something like this without reflection). Keep in mind that Martin Luther promised to become a monk only after he made a hasty, rash promise to God when he was afraid God would strike him dead in a thunderstorm. Irrational fear of God led him to his vocation, which may not really have been his vocation at all. We should be on guard against reactionary promises to God. I'm not saying you were irrational, but I am saying it's possible you didn't know all the facts. A marriage is null if the spouses do not sufficiently understand what a marriage is at the time of the vows. In the same way, promises can be null if those who made the promises didn't understand something essential to the promise. 2. Sometimes we say things, even spectacular, wonderful things, from emotion without thinking about it or truly meaning it. "A horse, my kingdom for a horse," doesn't actually mean that the king intends to give his kingdom for a horse. Nor does "I'll give a million dollars to whomever gives me a drink" mean that I'll actually do it. 3. Ultimately, we have to follow what God is calling us to do. If I'm a new convert and I promise to God that I will become a priest (this is all in theory, since I'm married) without first developing a sense of listening to God and discerning His call, then for me to realize that He is calling me instead to married life is a mark of my growth in the faith and the promise I made may be considered a part of my life before a significant development in my spirituality. If I commit myself to being this or that and then realize that God is calling me to something else, I'm not necessarily bound to what I committed myself to (though I may be). The three things above are considerations that may or may not apply to you. It is for discernment between you and a spiritual director. 4. Even most monks and nuns make temporary vows before making solemn vows, but it is nonetheless a vow. My understanding is that formal vows are binding in the law of the Church. I know nothing regarding informal vows and personal promises, particularly if they're not understood. It seems to me that the main question is whether this chance in your discernment is a reflection of your love of Christ growing colder or growing warmer. Some promises we make in life can be changed because we did not understand the implications of our meaning; other promises cannot be changed (no matter how much a married man might feel called to become a priest, he is married, and he cannot change that). So, if you are growing more in love with Christ and coming to understand more perfectly what He wills for your life, and that is to be married, and the promises you made don't stand in the way of that for one reason or another, then I would think that it is fine to pursue married life. If, however, you are drawn toward marriage because of a lack of love for Christ and a desire for more worldly things (not that marriage cannot be entirely holy, but that it is more secular), then this also needs to be discussed with a spiritual director. In any event, I recommend speaking with a spiritual director or vocation director. As much as many PMers may know their own experiences and their understandings of spiritual theology, most of them don't know you or religious life from the inside (although some do). If you do not have one around who knows you well, consider writing cappie, a PMer, who is a Franciscan Capuchin priest and a very thoughtful, discerning man. God bless, Micah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniteAdoremus Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Micah, thou rockest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappie Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 What Micah says plus : If you just said the vow in your mind like you said and not uttered it verbally, then this does not count as a vow, but it is just mere intention and so therefore does not bind under pain of sin. In any case the public profession of vows by religious for a serious reason can be dispensed by the competent authority. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 (edited) This was a beautiful thread... it inspired me to compose a little haiku: A promise to God If made rashly at the time Seek ye Confession Edited June 11, 2009 by LouisvilleFan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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