dominicansoul Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I'm wondering about something. A dear friend is going through a very rough time right now with her son. He's in a very addictive relationship, and he told her yesterday that he wants to marry this girl. He promised to spend the summer with his family, but told everybody yesterday that he can't live a moment without her and is flying back to live with her at her parent's home. They lived together during the semester at college. He left the Church, and doesn't care too much for God right now. All he lives and breathes is this girl. My friend, (his mom,) was wondering if God can go against her son's will? She says she prays and prays and to no avail, nothing seems to be changing her son. I told her that God can't force anything on anybody. Antony has made his decisions and is acting on them. But my friend tells me she doesn't understand. She's wondering how God can ignore the broken heart of a mother? She's wondering if God can go against her son's will? I didn't know what to tell her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Think of Jonah. God can be very persuasive and put in place tough consequences for not following his will, but he still lets people figure things out for themselves. God can redeem us from anything, even from the worst of choices. That's not to say there aren't temporal consequences, but there is always hope for redemption. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightofChrist Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 [quote name='dominicansoul' post='1883435' date='Jun 4 2009, 06:47 PM']I'm wondering about something. A dear friend is going through a very rough time right now with her son. He's in a very addictive relationship, and he told her yesterday that he wants to marry this girl. He promised to spend the summer with his family, but told everybody yesterday that he can't live a moment without her and is flying back to live with her at her parent's home. They lived together during the semester at college. He left the Church, and doesn't care too much for God right now. All he lives and breathes is this girl. My friend, (his mom,) was wondering if God can go against her son's will? She says she prays and prays and to no avail, nothing seems to be changing her son. I told her that God can't force anything on anybody. Antony has made his decisions and is acting on them. But my friend tells me she doesn't understand. She's wondering how God can ignore the broken heart of a mother? She's wondering if God can go against her son's will? I didn't know what to tell her...[/quote] Sad as it is maybe it is her son that is ignoring his mother's broken heart. St. Augustine's mother St. Monica had a very similar problem. She had many years of broken hearted prayers to God for her son, and those prayers where finally answered because among other reasons St. Augustine chose to respond to the graces of God. The trouble I guess you could call it, is that God answers all prayers but many times the answer is no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 God gives us free will as a gift. If He forced His will on us, we would no longer be autonomous, but God's puppets. That's why there are so many people who have rejected God--it breaks His heart, but it is, in the end, their free choice to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lounge Daddy Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 [quote name='dominicansoul' post='1883435' date='Jun 4 2009, 07:47 PM']She's wondering if God can go against her son's will? I didn't know what to tell her...[/quote] Yes, God respects our decisions and our will. God honors the choices of His creations. It's out of love. I like the story of Jonah, because it shows that there are consequences for an individual ignoring his or her purpose, especially when that purpose is pretty obvious. But God still honors the choices that His creations make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie-Therese Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Sometimes it is hard for loved ones to accept, but God understands the situation better than anyone. As much as we want our children to always make the best choices, the truth is that they don't, and even though it breaks our heart, God knows how to make things turn out for the best. Maybe the situation with this girl might teach him a lesson which will positively impact the rest of his life. Or maybe it won't. However, ultimately, her son is responsible for his own choices. Sometimes the only way we learn is the hard way. Prayers for them both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 so, my friend wants to know, "why pray?" she's totally distraught and feels like there is nothing that can be done for this situation... if not even prayers can do anything, (in her opinion,) than why pray? she mentioned something I had never heard... she said St. Bridget had a daughter who died in the mortal sin and went to hell, and the Saint knew this because it was revealed to her... it was the most heartbreaking story my friend has ever read... she feels that somehow, this kind of thing should be impossible... she has been praying so hard for her son, and now she reads this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VoTeckam Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 [quote name='dominicansoul' post='1884096' date='Jun 5 2009, 12:40 PM']so, my friend wants to know, "why pray?" she's totally distraught and feels like there is nothing that can be done for this situation... if not even prayers can do anything, (in her opinion,) than why pray? she mentioned something I had never heard... she said St. Bridget had a daughter who died in the mortal sin and went to hell, and the Saint knew this because it was revealed to her... it was the most heartbreaking story my friend has ever read... she feels that somehow, this kind of thing should be impossible... she has been praying so hard for her son, and now she reads this![/quote] Tell your friend she should pray for guidance. The only control she has in this situation is how she responds to her son and this girlfriend. Through prayer she will be a tool God can use to influence the situation. Without prayer she will only be actig out her own "momma bear" will. I will pray that she remains faithful. God will never abandon her or her son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 thank you VoTeckam!! Can i use your words??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VoTeckam Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 [quote name='dominicansoul' post='1884134' date='Jun 5 2009, 01:18 PM']thank you VoTeckam!! Can i use your words???[/quote] Yes, of course. I hope they help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scardella Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 (edited) [quote name='dominicansoul' post='1884096' date='Jun 5 2009, 11:40 AM']so, my friend wants to know, "why pray?" she's totally distraught and feels like there is nothing that can be done for this situation... if not even prayers can do anything, (in her opinion,) than why pray? she mentioned something I had never heard... she said St. Bridget had a daughter who died in the mortal sin and went to hell, and the Saint knew this because it was revealed to her... it was the most heartbreaking story my friend has ever read... she feels that somehow, this kind of thing should be impossible... she has been praying so hard for her son, and now she reads this![/quote] Although God respects free will completely, prayers can aid the free will of the person being prayed for. Sin, by its nature, impedes free will. It will blind people to the truth of a situation. Our prayers can be like the salve that cures the blindness. If sin is repeated often enough, it becomes vice. This is where our inclination is to do the evil rather than the good. It's like being bound by sin. Prayer can help break those bonds that prevent choosing the good. Here, God is not contradicting the person's free will, but the grace is freeing the person to be able to choose the good. So, rather than contradicting free will, God will strengthen a person's free will and help him see more clearly so that he can make better use of it. Does this make sense? It's quite possible that God gave St. Augustine hundreds or thousands of opportunities to repent with the aid of grace from St. Monica's prayers, but it took the thousand and first for him to finally choose to put away his past life. Edited June 5, 2009 by scardella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 [quote name='dominicansoul' post='1883435' date='Jun 4 2009, 07:47 PM']I'm wondering about something. A dear friend is going through a very rough time right now with her son. He's in a very addictive relationship, and he told her yesterday that he wants to marry this girl. He promised to spend the summer with his family, but told everybody yesterday that he can't live a moment without her and is flying back to live with her at her parent's home. They lived together during the semester at college. He left the Church, and doesn't care too much for God right now. All he lives and breathes is this girl. My friend, (his mom,) was wondering if God can go against her son's will? She says she prays and prays and to no avail, nothing seems to be changing her son. I told her that God can't force anything on anybody. Antony has made his decisions and is acting on them. But my friend tells me she doesn't understand. She's wondering how God can ignore the broken heart of a mother? She's wondering if God can go against her son's will? I didn't know what to tell her...[/quote] I think we need to step back and look at the big picture here. The issue is not whether God is going against the son's will, but the son going against God's will (since you posted that he has left the Church and has lived with his gf, unless they lived as brotehr/sister rather than fornication partners). God gave everyone free will - please see Sirach 15. God could very well be listening to the mother's prayers, it is just that the son is not listening to God and his mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 hey pham, i just told my friend that i have phatmass praying for her and this whole situation. if you can, please stop and say a prayer, even if it's just 5 minutes of your time... i think in all the world, the toughest vocation is that of being a mother... my poor friend... I also shared with her some of your thoughts, and I think it helped her receive some comfort... she's just feels so frustrated and feels all alone... Thanks! God bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted June 5, 2009 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 ...most especially pray for Antony, because he is completely oblivious to the danger he is exposing his soul to, and also oblivious to his family and his mother's pain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrestia Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 my mom probably felt (and for some things, still feels) the same way about my brother... and my mom found comfort from St. Monica. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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