Age Differences In Relationships

[southern california guy]

I have dated women very close to my age, some younger, and some much younger and I'm starting to wonder if age is really the most important factor in compatibility. I mean after a certain point you're still just a full grown adult..

I've tried E*harmony and it didn't work at all for me. I seemed to get matched up with divorced women close to my age. And I didn't seem compatible at all with them. Having never been married, had kids, or gone through a divorce I just can't relate. In fact I can't relate to MUCH younger women who've been married, had kids, or gone through a divorce.

I suppose that some people don't like to see older guys dating younger women because they feel that the younger women is much more innocent and the older guy is much more experienced -- and perhaps will take advantage of the younger women.

But I think that it's perhaps experiences that divide more than age. Experiences like marriage, having kids, getting divorced. Even being in a sexually intimate relationship. I'm still a virgin so I can't relate to that either. And I can't relate any better to young divorcees than I can to ones close to my age.

Maybe somebody needs to start a singles group called "Never married single conservative Catholics". But that would probably make a lot of people angry....

Edited May 29, 2009 by southern california guy

[princessgianna]

In God's time! You never know what He has in store for you!

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Edited May 29, 2009 by princessgianna

[Paddington]

Anybody else find this topic hard to narrow down to one joke?

[KnightofChrist]

Older women are always wiser... which is why they dont keep me around long...

[CatherineM]

I've seen some age gaps in marriages. My 61 year old brother is married to a 40 something. I'm emotionally younger than my age. It's not unusual for someone to get emotionally stunted at an age when something traumatic happened to them, or when they began using drugs or alcohol. I very much feel like I'm just a bit older than when I got hurt 18 years ago. It's like 15 years just didn't happen. I have that in common with my husband. He got sick the year after I got hurt. So that kind of think can make a big difference on how you relate to someone older or younger than you are. Some people are just kind of born older, or have just matured faster, or dealt with more things in their lives, so they are the opposite.

[MithLuin]

IIRC, the formula is 'half your age + 7' - any younger than that, and it's way creepy.

I agree with you that life experience matters - people 10 years younger than me are starting college; people my age have been working for years, and many are married and have a kid (or kids). Very different perspectives on life. I doubt there'd be much basis for a meaningful relationship until the younger person had a chance to 'catch up' a bit, though there are always exceptions.

But physical age also matters. A person who is significantly older than a spouse will be likely to age and die sooner. The younger spouse has to be prepared to slow down when they are still physically able to do things like travel. Again, a generality. My grandfather was 16 years older than my grandmother, and [i]she[/i] died first (of her third heartattack).

Anecdotally, great disparity in ages can lead to unhappy marriages. Respect is very important in a marriage, and people can decide that age, in fact, matters. The spouses can be insecure, something that might not come out in obvious ways. This doesn't mean that it's an insurmountable barrier, but one that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with. Disparity in ages is like racial differences - interracial marriages can work just fine, but they work better if the couple deals with the issues that arise from the situation. Disparity of ages creates its own issues. While being able to relate to a person is important, it isn't the only thing going on here.

Date anyone you want. The age difference would only become important later.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='southern california guy' post='1877535' date='May 28 2009, 10:48 PM']Maybe somebody needs to start a singles group called "Never married single conservative Catholics". But that would probably make a lot of people angry.... [/quote]

That was one of the intents behind the NCSC (although there are more divorced and widowed people coming to the conferences).

Interestingly, someone on the Catholic Answers Forum mentioned about virgin2virgin.com

[TotusTuusMaria]

Like Princess Gianna said.

[Arpy]

[quote name='MithLuin' post='1877667' date='May 28 2009, 09:20 PM']IIRC, the formula is 'half your age + 7' - any younger than that, and it's way creepy.[/quote]
Hm, I thought it was age + 7, [i]then[/i] divide by two.

So either <12-year-olds or <15.5-year-olds. Hm.

[Hassan]

[quote name='Arpy' post='1877702' date='May 29 2009, 01:21 AM']Hm, I thought it was age + 7, [i]then[/i] divide by two.

So either <12-year-olds or <15.5-year-olds. Hm.[/quote]


lol, by that formula I could date a 13.5 year old.






just a tiney bit creepy in my book

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Arpy' post='1877702' date='May 29 2009, 12:21 AM']Hm, I thought it was age + 7, [i]then[/i] divide by two.

So either <12-year-olds or <15.5-year-olds. Hm.[/quote]
Nope. Divide first.

[Arpy]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' post='1877711' date='May 28 2009, 10:32 PM']Nope. Divide first.[/quote]
This is why I didn't get a perfect math score on the ACT.

[Archaeology cat]

I think the maturity levels are more important than the actual ages.

[southern california guy]

[quote name='Norseman82' post='1877672' date='May 28 2009, 10:24 PM']That was one of the intents behind the NCSC (although there are more divorced and widowed people coming to the conferences).

Interestingly, someone on the Catholic Answers Forum mentioned about virgin2virgin.com[/quote]

Cool! That's a real website! Somebody did it. Right on! I'm going to have to join that. I guess that single question answers all of the others.

[mamalove]

I graduated the first grade the same year my husband graduated from high school

But almost 8 years and 5 kids later, we're doing just fine

Although I don't think I will ever be done with diapers. As soon as the last child makes it out of them, my husband will be in them!