InHisLove726 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 (edited) Unfortunately, my plans with the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in East Chicago did not go as we planned. I could not eat or sleep while I was there, and the Superior was expressing concern over the fact. I found my vocation was not to work with the children and my heart was just not in it. So, I decided to make an early trip home yesterday. Although I do not regret my decision, my family is not taking it well at all. I realized that this is not my vocation, and I am no longer discerning with the Sisters at this point. Right now, I am unsure about which way to go, but I do not plan to give up. I want to thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. I do not hold the Carmelite Sisters at fault over this. I just went there misinformed and unaware of the great responsibilities. I am not ready to handle at-risk children. I will always hold them close to my heart for providing this opportunity and I will keep them always in my prayers. God bless. Edited May 20, 2009 by InHisLove726 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 prayers. don't feel bad. Learning any kind of new job is hard; any kind of "training" phase is like that. Learning a new job taking care of kids is doubly stressful because making mistakes with kids is different from making mistakes with a file folder. I worked for a year in a Head Start in DC, so I definitely understand "at risk" children can be even tougher to handle. Plus I know you said before it'd been awhile since you worked. It's true a lot of people look at good sleeping and good eating as signs of a vocation. (That was never a problem for me because I'm a human garbage disposal with the sleep cycle of a house cat.) Don't worry about your family. They'll be okay; please don't let their disappointment hurt you. If you are looking at the world through the eyes of faith, things are different. People without the eyes of faith might not understand that this is not a failure, just a stepping stone to something else. Be patient with them all will be well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Thank you, Lillabett. I'm trying to be patient and understanding with them, and I knew this would transpire when I returned home so I was expecting it. I'm really trying to focus on finding a job as a Nursing Assistant so I can pay back the Sisters for the airfare and I really need to move on into life as an adult. Bless you for your prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Welcome back! Good to see you again - and no, don't worry. You went in with your whole heart, trusting in Christ, He taught you about yourself (and Himself!), and now He's taking you further. In other words, this is life and you're alive. Now all you need to do is see the error of your ways and become a Benedictine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='puellapaschalis' post='1871722' date='May 20 2009, 11:25 AM']Now all you need to do is see the error of your ways and become a Benedictine [/quote] I will when pigs sprout wings and fly! But really, thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I'm so sorry that it didn't work out for you and you've done the right thing by returning home straight away. I'm sure that your family will soon understand and support you.I hope that everything works out for you. Just take one step at a time. God Bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Arms of The Lord Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Do you think possibly that you are called there, but maybe it's not the right time? I'm keeping prayers for you as you continue to discern His will, and prayers for your family also. I hope that all you experience will bring you closer to the Lord. God bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kavalamyself Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Thank you for sharing and telling us the truth. I think many of us have gone through this and just feel too ashamed to talk about it, so I am glad you did! Prayers!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='In The Arms of The Lord' post='1871800' date='May 20 2009, 12:47 PM']Do you think possibly that you are called there, but maybe it's not the right time?[/quote] At this point in time, it's hard to imagine that I am called there. If I were to go anywhere right now, it would be to a cloistered order, which is what I am considering. I loved the prayer time and Mass, it's just the apostolate is overwhelming. Another alternative is finding an order that has nursing as their main apostolate and is still Carmelite. I've considered the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm, but I don't feel attracted to them at all. The Superior said she probably wouldn't see me again so that's not a good sign anyway. I doubt I will be considered for a candidate now, which is probably a good thing. It's hard to feel sad about it, which is odd, considering how excited I was, but it just puts more stock into the fact that I am not called there. I am trying to understand why God wanted me to go there, but then allowed this to happen. I may never understand, and that's ok. I'm just trying to continue my life by getting a job and continuing discernment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TradMom Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 +Praised be Jesus Christ! I came across this beautiful reading this morning, and then I read your post. I know this is a difficult time and may you find strength through your relationship with God and those who can support you. Perhaps you (and others) will find something to hold onto with this quote: [i]"May my life be a continual prayer, one long act of love. May nothing be able to distract me from You…I would like so much, O my Master, to live with You in silence. But what I love above all is to do Your will, and since You still want me to be in the world. I submit with all my heart for love of You. I offer to You the cell of my heart…come to rest there, I love You so."[/i] –Bl. Elizabeth of the Trinity Pax, TradMom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbsconditaInDeo Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='TradMom' post='1871874' date='May 20 2009, 03:34 PM'][i]"May my life be a continual prayer, one long act of love. May nothing be able to distract me from You…I would like so much, O my Master, to live with You in silence. But what I love above all is to do Your will, and since You still want me to be in the world. I submit with all my heart for love of You. I offer to You the cell of my heart…come to rest there, I love You so."[/i] –Bl. Elizabeth of the Trinity[/quote] Thank you for sharing that beautiful prayer, TradMom InHisLove, I admire your courage and the wisdom you had to see that God's will for you was to leave. Sometimes it's hard for us to comprehend why God allows certain things in our lives and I think it's during those times that we are reminded that His ways are far above ours. I really believe what Lilllabettt said is right that you must not look at this as a failure but as a step into something else because right now you are a step closer towards the convent that God will for you to be in Keep persevering. You're in my prayers [i]I ask of You, Jesus, a heart that loves You, a heart that cannot be conqurered, always ready for battle after each tempest, a heart that is free, never seduced, a heart that is straight and never walks on crooked paths.[/i] ([i]Maurice & Therese[/i] by Ahern, p. 268) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the lords sheep Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 May God bless you for your willingness to follow Him no matter what! In Christ, Lauren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muus Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Well, you haven't say sorry to your self. Sometimes God will close a door and open an another little door. Don't give up. Love can be hurt and one day, you'll know what He want for you. Maybe you don't see it now, be patient in His love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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