How Do You Tell If A Shirt Is Too Tight?

[Slappo]

[quote name='johnnydigit' post='1860505' date='May 7 2009, 12:20 AM']"If you have to ask, then it is immodest" was not intended. if you have to ask, it doesn't necessarily mean it is automatically immodest, but that you may be too close to the border.[b] it would be prudent to skip it for now, and in the meantime, ask questions, pray about it and come to a confident conclusion[/b]. next time you can either ditch it, or confidently wear it without questioning yourself at all.

the ultimate goal would be to be at peace with your entire wardrobe. imagine, a place/time when you would never worry about what you're wearing..[/quote]

The bold is what her and I are attempting to do now. I'm only involved because I purchased the shirt.

For the person who said try a different gift, I knew shopping for clothes would be a difficult one, but I really wanted to get her a shirt that she could feel comfortable wearing because I know how hard it is for her (or most any girl) to get clothes that fit right. She really likes it as a gift even if she will have to wear it with layers, so it was still a good present . Thanks for the advice on that though.

My girlfriend is at peace with her entire wardrobe, it is just a matter of what has to be worn with something else which is why we're asking questions. The shirt itself would be fine for wearing under a more revealing top etc, but is too tight to wear by itself.

I would [b]definitely[/b] agree that in marriage people would be less uptight. It's a little less of a mystery and you both already know what's underneath . Whereas, while dating when i'm in my early twenties, hormones are running crazy, my girlfriend is crazy beautiful, and everything is still unknown in the area of sexual relations . I'm sure that most things I have ever asked her to change out of are objectively modest, but it's still hard for me . She's great about it though and appreciates when I do so, so it works out really well for us. I feel bad sometimes because I know how hard it is already, but she encourages and appreciates me for it. She's amazing !

[Guest]

[quote name='Slappo' post='1860675' date='May 7 2009, 11:08 AM']I would [b]definitely[/b] agree that in marriage people would be less uptight.[/quote]


Look how Dog The Bounty Hunter has Beth dress.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Nadezhda' post='1860596' date='May 7 2009, 07:17 AM']As a fellow, ahem, well-endowed woman, I figured I'd add my two cents. Clothes that are fitted, though not tight, actually give the illusion of slimness and a smaller upper body. The same goes for open necklines, like v-necks or scoop necklines. Covering everything up in a turtleneck actually only makes everything look bigger. This is especially true of rib-knit short sleeve turtlenecks. These are the ultimate no no for the bosomly. It is possible to wear an open neckline and not show any cleavage or bra straps. Also good for larger upper bodies are wrap tops, also known as surplice topes. They minimize and you can usually layer a cute cami underneath if necessary.[/quote]






I think one of the things about dressing modestly is that you have to choose which "aspects" are more important. For me, I'd rather have a lower neckline (not "reavealing" but probably more along the lines of what some uber conservative minded people WOULD say *gasp* to) than to talk to talk to guys who can do nothing but stare at my chest. It is annoying. And creepy. Lower necklines (that don't show cleavage bra straps) actually reduce that problem a little, I've noticed. It's also just more comfortable. They tend to fit better and such. At least to me.

I don't wanna say that modesty is subjective, but... you've got to adjust.

[Lilllabettt]

I had a design student tell me how to tell if something is too tight ... she wasn't coming at it from a moral standpoint though. Clothes that fit better look better. Anyway, she said the test for too-tightness is fabric "buckling." For shirts, that can be in front, or "lines" in back. Too tight pants will have "lines" where the fabric buckles across the thigh section.

Outside of any concern for modesty, too tight clothing just looks cheap and uncomfortable.

[Slappo]

[quote name='Nadezhda' post='1860596' date='May 7 2009, 04:17 AM']As a fellow, ahem, well-endowed woman, I figured I'd add my two cents. Clothes that are fitted, though not tight, actually give the illusion of slimness and a smaller upper body. The same goes for open necklines, like v-necks or scoop necklines. Covering everything up in a turtleneck actually only makes everything look bigger. This is especially true of rib-knit short sleeve turtlenecks. These are the ultimate no no for the bosomly. It is possible to wear an open neckline and not show any cleavage or bra straps. Also good for larger upper bodies are wrap tops, also known as surplice topes. They minimize and you can usually layer a cute cami underneath if necessary.[/quote]

It's difficult for her I think because she's a small or medium shirt, but a bust too big for that. So to find clothes that are fitted but not tight in the bust is a real challenge. I don't exactly understand the illusionary of shirts, but I'll pass this on to her . I guess the other trick with open necklines are they might sit high enough when standing straight up, but in other positions might droop too much?

I talked to her on the phone last night and she said the shirt ripples, but if she pulls it down it doesn't ripple and she said she can't tell if it is resting or stretching across her chest. It is from downeastbasics (google them) and it is their Lace T-shirt. It is form fitting stretchy fabric.

Another thought I had is what if you wore a cute scarf that rested across your chest with a more form fitting shirt, would that make it appropriate? I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have any difficulties with this shirt if we were married... maybe one day .

I'm glad I'm a boy with an easy wardrobe

[Guest]

Baggy jeans baggy t's.
Guys have it easy.
Any guy wearing tight jeans and tight tshirts is wrong.
Very wrong.

[Guest]

[quote name='Slappo' post='1860687' date='May 7 2009, 10:26 AM']It's difficult for her I think because she's a small or medium shirt, but a bust too big for that. So to find clothes that are fitted but not tight in the bust is a real challenge. I don't exactly understand the illusionary of shirts, but I'll pass this on to her . I guess the other trick with open necklines are they might sit high enough when standing straight up, but in other positions might droop too much?

I talked to her on the phone last night and she said the shirt ripples, but if she pulls it down it doesn't ripple and she said she can't tell if it is resting or stretching across her chest. It is from downeastbasics (google them) and it is their Lace T-shirt. It is form fitting stretchy fabric.

Another thought I had is what if you wore a cute scarf that rested across your chest with a more form fitting shirt, would that make it appropriate? I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have any difficulties with this shirt if we were married... maybe one day .

I'm glad I'm a boy with an easy wardrobe [/quote]

lol slappo i'd love to have your problems.

[Slappo]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' post='1860691' date='May 7 2009, 07:28 AM']Baggy jeans baggy t's.
Guys have it easy.
Any guy wearing tight jeans and tight tshirts is wrong.
Very wrong.[/quote]

[Slappo]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' post='1860692' date='May 7 2009, 07:29 AM']lol slappo i'd love to have your problems.[/quote]

I don't know what you're insinuating

[Guest]

[quote name='Slappo' post='1860694' date='May 7 2009, 10:32 AM'] I don't know what you're insinuating [/quote]

Only that it's very difficult to find a beautiful girl who on top of that is also willing to change the way she dresses for you to help you out.

Edited May 7, 2009 by Guest

[Slappo]

[quote name='Delivery Boy' post='1860695' date='May 7 2009, 07:35 AM']Only that it's very difficult to find a beautiful girl who on top of that is also willing to change the way she dresses for you to help you out.[/quote]

Oh yeah . She's dreamy . Caring, intelligent, striving for holiness, very family oriented, desires me to be holy, expects me to respect her, etc..etc..etc... and she's gorgeous.

Although: I do think that someone you love and care about in a romantic fashion you naturally find more attractive. I'm sure I find my girlfriend more attractive then say... my housemates. I think it's sweet the way God wired people. He's a pretty cool God.

[StColette]

Slappo,

The shirt you picked looks absolutely adorable. And it looks pretty modest to me. I see they have a maternity section. hehehe

[hoosieranna]

[quote name='Slappo' post='1860687' date='May 7 2009, 11:26 AM']It's difficult for her I think because she's a small or medium shirt, but a bust too big for that. So to find clothes that are fitted but not tight in the bust is a real challenge. I don't exactly understand the illusionary of shirts, but I'll pass this on to her . I guess the other trick with open necklines are they might sit high enough when standing straight up, but in other positions might droop too much?

I talked to her on the phone last night and she said the shirt ripples, but if she pulls it down it doesn't ripple and she said she can't tell if it is resting or stretching across her chest. It is from downeastbasics (google them) and it is their Lace T-shirt. It is form fitting stretchy fabric.

Another thought I had is what if you wore a cute scarf that rested across your chest with a more form fitting shirt, would that make it appropriate? I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have any difficulties with this shirt if we were married... maybe one day .

I'm glad I'm a boy with an easy wardrobe [/quote]

It is nice to have an easy wardrobe. The small-big problem is actually pretty simple to fix, with a little patience. You (in general, not you specifically) always buy clothing to fit the largest part. You can then take it to a tailor to have the areas that don't fit modified. Costwise it depends on what needs to be done. I had a pair of very nice wool crepe pants hemmed for $7. My dad needed his motorcycle jacket refitted, so it cost more.

A scarf is a great idea. It makes a cute accessory too. As for the open neckline with bending, it can be a concern. Again, a cami usually works. So would a scarf. There is also a nice neckline called a bateau or boatneck that gives the illusion of openness without actually showing anything. Basically the neckline goes collarbone to collarbone in a fairly straight line. It is also more flattering than a crewneck, which is your basic t-shirt neckline.

Fabric is also a consideration. It's going to be more difficult to find a modest stretchy t-shirt than a button down made from fairly substantial cotton. Good luck to her (and you)!

Edited May 7, 2009 by Nadezhda

[txdinghysailor]

This is a very nice shirt... Very modest, yet oh so attractive... And very practical

[img]http://www.wetsuitoutlet.co.uk/images/Musto-Dinghy-smock-Blk.gif[/img]

[HisChildForever]

What Paladin said is pretty much dead-on. Driving home from school, I had some jerk trying to get my attention by pulling up alongside my car and honking. When we got to a light, I made sure to hang back a bit so our front windows weren't lined up. He attempted to make eye contact by leaning into his side mirror, nearly hanging out of his car. (I had a similar incident a few months ago, where a man WAS hanging out of his open car window.) So guess what I was wearing? A huge, over-sized college sweatshirt (which was at one point my older brother's) and dark blue jeans. There was no way this man could have been "seduced" by my figure. Not only was I wearing a pretty shapeless, lazy outfit - but I was in my CAR. I had sunglasses on so the man did not even get a clear view of my face.

Maybe he was "turned on" because I am a college student (have the sticker on the back of my car) - some men do have disturbing "fantasies" like this. [That alone reminds me of two friends from my first university who were told by their cab driver that he "likes" college women, especially freshman. They explained him as a very creepy, inappropriate man.] Can my college sticker encourage lustful thoughts? Is it immodest? Should I remove it from my car? If we begin to analyze every single detail that could [b]potentially[/b] arouse the opposite sex, we will begin to be afraid to leave the house or show any individuality.

We may also begin to judge others - and in judging others, we may be lead to immodest thoughts, which is the complete opposite of what we wish to attain (modesty)! For example, a young man is walking in the mall. He is so consumed with thoughts of modesty - for himself and for women - that he begins to scrutinize what many women are wearing. He sees a woman in a short, clingy skirt. He scoffs at how immodest this is. But he does not even REALIZE that he is staring at the woman's behind! When he does realize this, he begins to think on it, and thus falls into lustful thoughts. We can take a similar example, again focusing on this young man - but instead of seeing an immodesty dressed woman, he sees a modestly dressed woman. She is wearing a comfortable sweatshirt. He then wonders what she is wearing under that sweatshirt, hoping that it is just as modest. He is UNDRESSING this woman in his mind.

It is just my opinion that too much scrutiny and too much fascination with modesty can actually lead one into temptation, which is - ironically - the OPPOSITE of what we want to achieve.

Edited May 7, 2009 by HisChildForever