The Road To Deacon....

[unloud]

Hi everyone!


I have known that I've wanted to be a deacon for quite some time now. I am getting married in August and after that point my big goal much further down the road is to become a deacon. The questions I had are these:

What are the steps to becoming a deacon?
Is there an age limit on deacons?
Are there deacons in orders (like Franciscan deacon, etc)?
How do deacons sustain family life if they receive no pay?

Thank you so much for your time!



God bless you!
Jacob

Edited April 30, 2009 by unloud

[Hilde]

I think you have to be 35, or maybe that's just here.

[MissyP89]

As for pay, you get a job just like a regular layman would. One of ours works as a podiatrist. Hilde is right--the age is 35.

[unloud]

Yeah, waiting until I am 35 is not a problem for me. I think it'll be a perfect amount of time for me to establish a life that is solid for my family.

I guess what I'd really like to know is what can I do [i]now[/i] to temper my soul for a position in God's church?

[puellapaschalis]

I think you'll also need your wife's permission, so pray and talk about it together [i]now[/i]

And pray to St. Stephen!

[CatherineM]

You could also get a head start on your theology by taking classes.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='unloud' post='1852931' date='Apr 30 2009, 02:27 AM']I guess what I'd really like to know is what can I do [i]now[/i] to temper my soul for a position in God's church?[/quote]

That first year of marriage should provide plenty of tempering

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='unloud' post='1852619' date='Apr 29 2009, 10:04 PM']What are the steps to becoming a deacon?
Is there an age limit on deacons?
Are there deacons in orders (like Franciscan deacon, etc)?
How do deacons sustain family life if they receive no pay?[/quote]

Your Vocations Office will have most of this information for you... I believe you'll end up getting almost as much education as a priest. Need to be 35. I'm sure there are third order religious deacons (especially considering St. Francis was himself a deacon, not a priest). I suspect deacons do receive an income from their parish... I've heard that deacons work a lot of hours, and this is where, realistically speaking, you should be careful about making definite plans before you've been married and had children. I think most deacons are able to supplement their income from a pension or retirement, and some probably have wives who make enough money. It's probably worthwhile to consider a career in the military, teaching, or someplace you'll receive a good retirement. My plan, if I went that route, was actually to own a small business after killing myself the first 5-10 years getting it up and running.

Most importantly, your wife will be a vital member of this discernment process. Everything else is mere details.

[Thomist-in-Training]

As Louisville pointed out, you could be a religious [i]tertiary [/i] (Carmelite, Franciscan or whatever) , and still be married, and a deacon. (As a married man, you wouldn't belong to a First Order or a Third Order Regular anyway; those have vows of chastity.) [i]Qua[/i] deacon, though, you'd be [i]diocesan[/i], ordained to serve the bishop of a certain diocese; permanent deacons are not ordained to serve the Carmelites, Servites, Franciscans or anything.

*edit: punctuation

Edited May 1, 2009 by Thomist-in-Training

[LouisvilleFan]

Is there a title for Third Order married people? Guess they are Irregulars

Edited May 1, 2009 by LouisvilleFan

[MithLuin]

Many religious orders have lay members associated with them in some way. Oblates for the Benedictines. Lay Dominicans, Lay Missionaries of Charity. Secular Franciscans. This is independent of becoming a deacon.


To become a deacon, you must speak to the Vocations office of your diocese. Some of the rules and regulations will vary from place to place. They certainly will not allow a newlywed or a young person to sign up, but you can at least learn what the process is, so you will know how/when to apply. The application and training process is long and daunting.

The application is not just signing up and saying "I'm here!" - it is a lengthy discernment process and will likely take at least a year. A pretty intense psychological evaluation is part of it, as well as interviews. They want to make sure you are serious about doing this, and give you plenty of chances to reflect. Not all men who present themselves for ordination to the diaconate are accepted into a class, and even if you are accepted, you can be asked to leave at any time. It's not over til you're ordained.

There may not be a class every year; it depends on the size and needs of the diocese. Formation takes years; it is not a quick process. With your classmates, you will take theology classes. These cover the same topics as the priests-to-be study in seminary, but generally more briefly. Working, raising a family, and having a commitment to these classes can be daunting - ideally, your wife would attend with you, though only you would have to write the papers, etc . There are days/weekends of retreat throughout to help with formation, as well as periodic update interviews. Your training will also consist of ministry, such as acting as a hospital chaplain or doing prison ministry. You are required to have a spiritual director. Finally, towards the end of the process, you will assigned to a parish to work with them in whatever capacity they need. You will probably be asked to give reflections at daily masses, in preparation for giving homilies. Also at the end of the process, there is a Practicum, where you round up some friends/relatives/acquaintances, and then do a practice baptism and wedding - after which you are critiqued. Doing all of this while working full time is not realistic; at most, a job that requires you to work 4 days a week, a part time job, or a [i]very[/i] flexible job would be necessary. If you try to do it all, something will give - your devotion to your family, or your health! So, make sure you are financially able not to be working a full time job before applying.

Once you are ordained, you are assigned to a parish within the diocese. You are given some input in that decision, but that vow of obedience means you go where they send you - it may very well [i]not[/i] be your home parish. Deacons can be transferred between parishes as priests can, but most dioceses understand that it would be difficult to uproot an entire family. Your duties will again depend upon the parish where you are assigned, what their needs are - but you will likely have a liturgical role, (reading the gospel and preaching at mass - weekends and/or daily mass) as well as a ministry in the parish that you would be responsible for - eg, visiting the sick and homebound, teaching RCIA or leading Bible studies, youth ministry, etc. You will most certainly be paid for this, but it is a modest sum - no one seeks out the job for the money. It will take up a significant amount of time to [i]do[/i] the job, though, so having another full time job is not an option. A part-time job would be feasible, but there is a reason why many deacons are retired.


What can you do now? Pray and discern! That's an ongoing process. You are never 'done' discerning, even when you enter formation. Make sure your wife is involved in this process - there are some serious commitments involved, and this is not something you do solo. You do it with her...or not at all. The Church has no desire to tear apart marriages. For instance, one thing you will be promising is to live as a celibate man in the event of her death; remarrying is not an option once you are ordained. One aspect of being a deacon is that they say the Hours daily. So, you could introduce the Liturgy of the Hours as your morning and evening prayer, and get into a habit of saying them together with your wife. After all, you don't have to 'wait' to do that. Same with getting involved with Church ministry - find a ministry at your parish that you can get involved in, and get some practice doing that.


I know some of this stuff because my Dad is being ordained a deacon in 2 weeks Hope it helps!