Question For Those Who Are Sure

[FiereMargriet]

I know various forms of this question have been asked a LOT of times on this phorum, and I even found one older thread yesterday that was in pretty much the same vein, but I couldn't find it again today, so here goes my own question.

I first felt the stirrings of my vocation last spring, and as I've said before, it's been a pendulum swinging between a draw toward the religious life and a desire for marriage and a family since then. I know it's no rush. But my question basically is...for those of you who are married or are in a convent, or are definitely headed one way or the other...how did you know? Particularly those who are married...how did you know it wasn't the religious life or the single life that was meant for you?

I want a big family with lots of good Catholic homeschooled children. I've also visited two convents, one of which I felt very drawn to. I know this is normal and I'll certainly pray and visit more convents to discern further. But for now, insights and advice from those who have been there (and those who know what it feels like) would be very much appreciated!

[CatherineM]

I knew when I met my husband. I am reinforced with that decision every single day. I thought I wanted to enter an order or do missionary work for many years, but all that was quickly put aside without a bit of second guessing.

[InHisLove726]

[font="Trebuchet MS"]The way I knew was I craved religious life. Every thought I had about married life or single life did not satisfy me, and no matter how much I tried to push the thought of religious life from my mind, I could not get away from the fact that I am called. I have not entered a community yet, but I hope to hear about my candidacy for the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus (Northern Province) VERY soon! I'm going to be doing a live-in with the Sisters in East Chicago, IN in 25 days! Though I am nervous, I am also excited.

The way I knew that this is my calling to the Carmelites was I went to their convent and felt like I had come home! I felt comfortable and I could see myself living there. This didn't happen with the other convent I visited. I felt out of place and I couldn't wait to leave (though it wasn't because of them; I got sick with a stomach virus). I really have no desire to return there because I know it wasn't where God was calling me. It was beautiful, but my heart is in Milwaukee at the Northern Province's Motherhouse.

Someone once asked Mother Teresa of Calcutta how a woman would know her vocation, and her answer was:

[i]She knows. She knows.[/i]



You'll feel the most at peace with whatever God is calling you to, whether it be marriage, religious life, single life, etc. Though God does motivate us to move out of our comfort zones a little bit, He never gives us something that we can't ultimately deal with.

My advice? Pray about it. Spend time in Adoration and daily Mass. God will give you the answer you are looking for. You just have to give Him the silence necessary so He can speak to you. Remember, God speaks in a [i]still, small voice[/i]. God bless you, FiereMargriet. I'm praying for you.
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Edited April 22, 2009 by InHisLove726

[AccountDeleted]

Jonah knew he was called, but he didn't want to go!

[jenna311]

[quote name='InHisLove726' post='1843379' date='Apr 22 2009, 03:35 AM'][font="Trebuchet MS"]

Someone once asked Mother Teresa of Calcutta how a woman would know her vocation, and her answer was:

[i]She knows. She knows.[/i]

[/quote]

Ha. That's the quote that got me. I was at a silent retreat, and one of the priests brought that up. And I really agree with it--I think at some point, you really do just [i]know[/i].

Whenever I talked to people about vocations, and how you know if you are called to something, I would never get answers that satisfied me. A lot of them would fall along the lines of, you just know, or something like that. I always wanted something a little more concrete than that. Their advice never really helped. But honestly, I don't think I can answer it any better than they did.

But I definitely agree with the feeling of being 'home'. And I think if you feel a pull to a convent at all, it is definitely worth pursuing. I think if you don't, you'll end up regretting it. I know several people who went to seminary/pursued religious life for a while, and eventually discerned that it wasn't where they were called. There's certainly nothing wrong with that.

Prayers for you discernment!

[DameAgnes]

I believe if you ask God to show you what he wants you to do, he always will. In my case, I thought I was going into the convent, but asked God to show me his will for me. Met my husband that very night and knew INSTANTLY that he would in fact be my husband and that marriage would be my vocation.

But every vocation has its challenges. Be brave. Ask God to show you where he wants you.

[FiereMargriet]

[quote name='InHisLove726' post='1843379' date='Apr 22 2009, 03:35 AM'][font="Trebuchet MS"]
My advice? Pray about it. Spend time in Adoration and daily Mass. God will give you the answer you are looking for. You just have to give Him the silence necessary so He can speak to you. Remember, God speaks in a [i]still, small voice[/i]. God bless you, FiereMargriet. I'm praying for you.
[/font][/quote]

Thank you, InHisLove726, for this beautiful message and your prayers. I will certainly be praying that all goes well with the DCJs! They seem like such a beautiful community.

I think I'm going to contact a few more communities, including the Sisters in Jesus the Lord, who keep popping up in my mind. Certainly during college I'll have the chance to visit lots of convents and monasteries. At the same time, I feel so giddy imagining a large family. I can't push the idea of either vocation out of my mind!

A few weeks ago, my boss guessed that I was discerning and he asked me why. When I told him I wanted to pray for the world, he reminded me that I didn't have to be a nun to do that. He's right, of course. But I still don't know what I'm meant to do. I guess I'm very blessed to still have a lot of time to figure that out.

[FiereMargriet]

[quote name='nunsense' post='1843390' date='Apr 22 2009, 04:46 AM']Jonah knew he was called, but he didn't want to go! [/quote]

I fear that's what's the matter with me--I have such a hard time detaching myself from wordly dreams and following GOD, not my own fancies. I'm checking now to see if I can afford to go to the DSMME retreat next month--pray that I can! I hope it will give me some clarity.

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='FiereMargriet' post='1843690' date='Apr 22 2009, 05:45 PM']Thank you, InHisLove726, for this beautiful message and your prayers. I will certainly be praying that all goes well with the DCJs! They seem like such a beautiful community.

I think I'm going to contact a few more communities, including the Sisters in Jesus the Lord, who keep popping up in my mind. Certainly during college I'll have the chance to visit lots of convents and monasteries. At the same time, I feel so giddy imagining a large family. I can't push the idea of either vocation out of my mind!

A few weeks ago, my boss guessed that I was discerning and he asked me why. When I told him I wanted to pray for the world, he reminded me that I didn't have to be a nun to do that. He's right, of course. But I still don't know what I'm meant to do. I guess I'm very blessed to still have a lot of time to figure that out.[/quote]

[font="Trebuchet MS"]Just think of how many children you will have if you become a Sister!!! [i]Spiritual [/i]children!! I remember a quote that I read on a website about vocation discernment. One Sister said this:

[b]God's children are my children, and I treat them as such.[/b]

It's very true. When you take vows in a community, you are, in a very direct sense, adopting God's children and promising to pray for them. St. Therese of Lisieux had MANY spiritual children.
[/font]

[eagle_eye222001]

It's kinda funny. I've been told or asked many times when I was little if I was going to be a priest and as a kid, I always shrugged it off as I didn't know.

When I got older and I got more interested in my faith, it just seemed apparent that God wanted me to be a "rank and file" Catholic in the pew raising a family. I mean, I know the Church really needs more men for the priesthood, and even though so many people told me or my mom that I should be a priest, I really feel God does not want me to enter the priesthood and just as the Church needs priests, it will need solid Catholics in the pews raising a family in the faith.

At least at this point it seems obvious. I guess it could change, however at this point, I firmly believe God is calling me to the married life to raise a family in the faith and be a knowledgeable lay person in the faith as a witness for others. The Church will need supporters in the pews after all.

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Now playing: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/lifehouse/track/whatever+it+takes"]Lifehouse - Whatever It Takes[/url]
via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url]

[pan!c139]

[quote name='eagle_eye222001' post='1853574' date='Apr 30 2009, 01:47 PM']It's kinda funny. I've been told or asked many times when I was little if I was going to be a priest and as a kid, I always shrugged it off as I didn't know.

When I got older and I got more interested in my faith, it just seemed apparent that God wanted me to be a "rank and file" Catholic in the pew raising a family. I mean, I know the Church really needs more men for the priesthood, and even though so many people told me or my mom that I should be a priest, I really feel God does not want me to enter the priesthood and just as the Church needs priests, it will need solid Catholics in the pews raising a family in the faith.

At least at this point it seems obvious. I guess it could change, however at this point, I firmly believe God is calling me to the married life to raise a family in the faith and be a knowledgeable lay person in the faith as a witness for others. The Church will need supporters in the pews after all.

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Now playing: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/lifehouse/track/whatever+it+takes"]Lifehouse - Whatever It Takes[/url]
via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url][/quote]

I actually feel the same way. When I was little I wanted to be a nun, but mostly because I viewed it was some high, holy occupation of which I knew little about. When I actually became involved in activities with certain orders, I realized that I'm not called to it. While I have the deepest respect for the relgious, I have no peace in the thought of living that lifestyle, nor am I drawn to it.
On the other hand, I have a [i]deep[/i] desire to bear children and marry, to the point where I get chills and almost teary eyes thinking about the joy I'll have through that vocation. It fills me with such a sense of awe and peace. I'm also very drawn to the thought of raising a large, Catholic family to bear witness to life amidst a culture of Death.

So that's how I know.

Prayers!