Donating Your Eggs

[tinytherese]

So one of my friends months back who is only nineteen years old was asked by her aunt who is in her late thirties if she would donate her eggs to her since she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to have children so late. (Her aunt finally got married not that long ago to a guy fifteen years younger than her.) My friend declined, saying that that it felt too weird for her. She is the only female in the family who really could do that since the other females in her family are either too old, haven't reached puberty yet, or have had their tubes tied. Her aunt accused her of being selfish for not doing it for her and her grandma acted all ticked off about it. Either the aunt that asked her to donate her eggs refused to talk to her after she refused or one of her other aunts did. (I forget.) Not that long ago though, she found out that her aunt had finally gotten pregnant and her aunt and grandma are on better terms with her now.

The rest of the family didn't like the idea of my friend doing that. What's really weird, was that the young man who her aunt married (that was only a few years older than my friend) has hit on her in the past trying to get her to sleep with him, just after they got married.

This is just plain messed up.

[Luthien]

Uhm, thats a pretty risky procedure, you don't guilt someone into doing something like that.

[tinytherese]

Yea, isn't it absurd what people will do to avoid the adoption option?

[Luthien]

Well, the desire to carry your own child is super strong, its instinct. But when you are making people feel guilty for not pumping themselves full of hormones to stimulate their ovaries so that a doc can stick a needle in you to extract the eggs, well thats selfish.

Heres an article talking about the risks: [url="http://2006forum.womenlink.or.kr/Hayasaka20060921.pdf"]Risks of Egg Donation[/url]

Edited April 16, 2009 by Luthien

[CatherineM]

Another example of how when we try to do something unnatural, it has all kinds of consequences. What happens if this child were to be born, and then they divorce. You'd have your child being raised by a single mom. What if she had actually been a lesbian wanting an egg? What happens if the birth mom dies, and you child is being neglected? So many bizarre situations can come up when we try to get around doing stuff the way God intended.

[tinytherese]

Not only that, but for all we know, the woman that donates her eggs might end up being infertile.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='tinytherese' post='1837058' date='Apr 16 2009, 07:39 AM']Not only that, but for all we know, the woman that donates her eggs might end up being infertile.[/quote]
I was recently reading about a woman who donated her eggs for money, and then later when she wanted to get pregnant, she couldn't. She was angry because no one had told her that her own fertility might be affected. I mean, women have a finite number of eggs, and are born with the number of eggs they'll ever have. So donating some is going to lower her fertility.

[homeschoolmom]

Not that I'd advocate this, but... how does having a tubal ligation eliminate someone from being an ova donor?

No one OWES anyone a biological donation like that-- not even blood. Though I am alive today because of blood donations and very, very grateful. No one owed it to me, though.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1837131' date='Apr 16 2009, 08:35 AM']No one OWES anyone a biological donation like that-- not even blood. Though I am alive today because of blood donations and very, very grateful. No one owed it to me, though.[/quote]

Totally agree with this (and I have a sister in law with a serious blood disorder; when she and my brother had their first baby she required weekly blood transfusions so that she wouldn't bleed to death). To get angry with someone because they won't give you a part of their body is ridiculous.

I think asking a relative for egg/sperm donations is kind of creepy and weird. I wouldn't want to walk around knowing that my sibling or cousin or aunt/uncle was raising what is technically my child. I think that could give a person serious emotional issues.

[CatherineM]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1837131' date='Apr 16 2009, 06:35 AM']Not that I'd advocate this, but... how does having a tubal ligation eliminate someone from being an ova donor?[/quote]

I wondered the same thing. According to [url="http://www.tinytreasuresagency.com/donors/facts/index.html"]This Website[/url] you can donate if you've had a tubal. Maybe they were just using that excuse because they didn't want to donate.

[MissyP89]

I'm sorry, but I don't want a child that is half mine wandering around somewhere, with me never getting the chance to know him/her.

[eagle_eye222001]

Messed up.

Aunt was wrong to ask in the first place for several reasons.

1. Moral reasoning.
2. By asking her, she is creating a question that easily has the potential to draw battle lines in a family. As evidenced by the story, the teens refusal created a battle that could have permanently harmed family relationships or she gives in to guilt and pays a ransom of health risks and violating moral reasoning to keep the family together.

You almost can't ask a family member that type of question because someone loses no matter the outcome.

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[Michele]

it's not merely risky, it's immoral.
[url="http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#2376"]http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#2376[/url]

2376 Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child's right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses' "right to become a father and a mother only through each other."167

2377 Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization) are perhaps less reprehensible, yet remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children."168 "Under the moral aspect procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses' union . . . . Only respect for the link between the meanings of the conjugal act and respect for the unity of the human being make possible procreation in conformity with the dignity of the person."169

2378 A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged "right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception."170

2379 The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord's Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.

[rose wrought of iron]

That is scary and reading that article made [i]me[/i] hurt.

Why not just adopt? There are many children out there who are in need off loving parents and a good home, why put your - neice, was it? - through that kind of stress and ostracism because you are too selfish to adopt?

[tinytherese]

Thankfully though her aunt finally got pregnant. She's only 37. She's still old enough to have kids.