Flirting

[whatsup]

I'm a girl and I like flirting. I'm ok looking, nothing spectacular but I've always found flirting fun.

I have had my fair share of crushes, too, and non-serious relationships. Most long distance so even when I was non-serious going out, I probably flirted.

All of the sudden the whole idea of manogomy seems so strange to me. I want to flirt with whomever, where-ever. If they've decided to go manogomous then good for them, I'll let them alone. But anyone else is fair game.

I'm not even particularly interested in any of them. I just like to flirt, see what I can get guys to do and see what I can get out of it.

Is it really wrong?

[CatherineM]

What are you trying to accomplish? I mean are you trying to find the man who will eventually be your husband, or are you just trying to sexually arouse all the men you meet? God has apparently given you a beautiful body, do you suppose that is what he intended you to do with it? I think beautiful young women have so much more to offer to the world than just leading men to the near occasion of sin.

[Seven77]

No. It's not OK.

[whatsup]

I don't want to sexually arouse them. Like I said I'm nothing special, just decent looking. I'm not really looking for a guy. I'm just having fun and getting stuff. Guys hold doors for me, tip me (and my job dosn't normally get tips), and stuff like that. Maybe its just that flirting gets them to act more like little humans insted of little heathens.

But its so fun! I like getting treated nice, especally when I get treated nicer then other prisses who are prettier than me.

[StColette]

[quote name='Seven77' post='1836177' date='Apr 15 2009, 01:01 PM']No. It's not OK.[/quote]

Not even with your spouse?

I agree with Catherine. What are you trying to accomplish? Before my husband and I started dating we would flirt with one another. Our intentions weren't just to flirt but to see if something could possibly be there. We flirted while we dated, not just to flirt mind you, but you know how people dating are lol We flirted while we were engaged, because well engaged people do this to drive other people crazy, I apologize to all phatmassers for that . And we still flirt even though we are married.

If you're flirting just to get attention and have no intention in carry out a relationship with the person you are flirting with then this is very dangerous ground. It may be all fun and games for you but you could be toying with someone else's feelings.

You should be treated nice, not because you are flirting with people, but because you deserved to be treated nice.

As a married lady and sister to two older brothers as well as many pseudo adopted brothers, I can tell you that you aren't presenting yourself in a good light to these guys. Most, not trying to be mean here but... most of those men you are flirting with have the wrong idea about you, most likely. Acting the way you do could open you up to a lot of hurt. I speak from experience. I was a cheerleader, very popular, etc. and I flirted quite a bit and I can't tell you how many times I was sexually assaulted/harassed in one way or another. So please, take care with playing a game like that.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='whatsup' post='1836183' date='Apr 15 2009, 02:13 PM']I don't want to sexually arouse them. Like I said I'm nothing special, just decent looking. I'm not really looking for a guy. I'm just having fun and getting stuff. Guys hold doors for me, tip me (and my job dosn't normally get tips), and stuff like that. Maybe its just that flirting gets them to act more like little humans insted of little heathens.

But its so fun! I like getting treated nice, especally when I get treated nicer then other prisses who are prettier than me.[/quote]
No you are not looking for a guy, you are simply using them for your own benefit, and to arouse misplaced jealousy and envy in others. Is that really how you want people to see you? The problem is that someone is going to take you seriously, take it further than you like, not take no for an answer, and the consequences can be tragic.

[Saint Therese]

Its not okay for lots of reasons. One being that you should have more respect for the virtue and dignity of men; manipulating them in that way is wrong. We should never treat other people as mere things to gratify our desires.
Also, you are called to chastity. And that means a lot more than just refraining from sex. You must have a pure heart. I don't think flirting like that indicates purity of heart.
Just think that there is a better way to get attention and relate.

Edited April 15, 2009 by Saint Therese

[Sojourner]

I agree with cmom and St. Colette. If you're flirting just to get stuff from guys (including attention) that's not cool, and you're playing with fire and being disrespectful to them. Flirting insinuates sexual interest. You are playing off your sexual attractiveness so you can get better treatment and tips from guys. That's only a short step from prostitution in my book.

Some playfulness in any relationship, friendship or romantic, is OK. It helps to introduce laughter and lightness to a relationship. But when that flirtation is introduced to use people for what they can give you, it's not good.

[dauntingknight]

Don't arouse men when you know that your gonna just dump them a second laterm, cause we hate that and it's just mean.
But if your really trying to find a good husband then maybe.

[pio]

[quote name='StColette' post='1836203' date='Apr 15 2009, 07:50 PM']If you're flirting just to get attention and have no intention in carry out a relationship with the person you are flirting with then this is very dangerous ground. It may be all fun and games for you but you could be toying with someone else's feelings.

You should be treated nice, not because you are flirting with people, but because you deserved to be treated nice.[/quote]

I totally agree; it'll seem very fun until you realise that someone does it to you. I'm sure we've all been there done that and felt it. It's pretty hard to be able to respect someone who flirts with you for a laugh. I'm not saying I don't flirt but I've learned to do so with some caution. I'm not saying men can't control themselves - it's insulting to suggest that. It's just a matter of common courtesy to put someone else's heart before your personal enjoyment, because your aim in flirting should be towards marriage.
"In everything, do to others what you would want them to do to you." (St.Matt. 7.12)

And there's a lot more to you than your looks!

Edited April 15, 2009 by pio

[virginiancatholic]

Yeah, that's definitely not okay. Maybe they are "stepping up to the plate" as far as behaving themselves go, but it may be because they are enjoying the arousal they get out of you and don't want it to stop. Guys are way more visual and more quickly aroused than women, and most girls either don't realize this or refuse to acknowledge the fact. there are exceptions, but overall it is the rule. I don't care if you are ugly as sin. If you are getting that reaction out of guys, something in your person is attractive, honey.

I think you mentioned that you used to be more uptight (for lack of a better term), but now anyone who isn't committed to monogamy is fair game. This sounds dangerous...and similar to something I went through. You start by committing little imperfections, and then venial sins, so that gradually your senses become dulled and you see absolutely nothing wrong with what you previously thought of as off limits. that's how many addictions start (smoking, alcohol, porn, etc.). Honestly, it sounds as if you may have unwittingly moved from pure and simple flirting to something way more dangerous and powerful.

Sounds like you may be addicted to getting attention from men...to their reactions...to your power over them.

Take it from a girl who's been there and nip it in the bud before it really spirals out of control and someone, like yourself, gets hurt.

[Groo the Wanderer]

I flirt with my wife.





She thinks I'm a dork.








But if it brings out her dimples, then YAY!






Depends what you mean by flirting. A smile or wave is fine. Anything that starts his mind down the wrong path (you know what I mean) is wrong. First, why would you want to turn yourself into an object? God created you as a subject (ooh...groo gettin all philosophical-like). Second, so you really want to be culpable for leading a guy into sin? It's playing with fire, IMHO.

To paraphrase Jason Evert: seeing how close you can get to the line that marks sin is like seeing how close you can get to the edge of a cliff..and it's crumbling.

[ardillacid]

[quote name='whatsup' post='1836183' date='Apr 15 2009, 01:13 PM']I'm just having fun and getting stuff. Guys hold doors for me, tip me[/quote]
Do you work at Hooters?

[whatsup]

[quote name='notardillacid' post='1836712' date='Apr 15 2009, 09:28 PM']Do you work at Hooters?[/quote]


Far from it. I work retail. Boring dumpy retail. And I'm far from that kind of girl...as I said before I'm not that good looking. And I said I don't work at a place where one usually gets tips but I do anyway.

[whatsup]

[quote name='virginiancatholic' post='1836374' date='Apr 15 2009, 04:43 PM']Yeah, that's definitely not okay. Maybe they are "stepping up to the plate" as far as behaving themselves go, but it may be because they are enjoying the arousal they get out of you and don't want it to stop. Guys are way more visual and more quickly aroused than women, and most girls either don't realize this or refuse to acknowledge the fact. there are exceptions, but overall it is the rule. I don't care if you are ugly as sin. If you are getting that reaction out of guys, something in your person is attractive, honey.

I think you mentioned that you used to be more uptight (for lack of a better term), but now anyone who isn't committed to monogamy is fair game. This sounds dangerous...and similar to something I went through. You start by committing little imperfections, and then venial sins, so that gradually your senses become dulled and you see absolutely nothing wrong with what you previously thought of as off limits. that's how many addictions start (smoking, alcohol, porn, etc.). Honestly, it sounds as if you may have unwittingly moved from pure and simple flirting to something way more dangerous and powerful.

Sounds like you may be addicted to getting attention from men...to their reactions...to your power over them.

Take it from a girl who's been there and nip it in the bud before it really spirals out of control and someone, like yourself, gets hurt. [/quote]


Its not that I used to be more uptight. i was just going on what was told to me. Brushing off anything else as silly. Now that I see what fun it is to have fun I question why I ever believed otherwise.