Consensual Living

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1828937' date='Apr 8 2009, 03:23 PM']Parents operate differently for younger kids, I've found. I think they get tired.[/quote]

No kidding. I've seen this with my siblings. There have been times when my jaw literally dropped because I saw a younger sibling get away with something I'd have been punished for. (not that I'm criticizing my mom here, but the inner child in me sometimes gets a little miffed and wonder what the heck happened and how is that possibly fair. lol)

[xTrishaxLynnx]

[quote name='fidei defensor' post='1826873' date='Apr 6 2009, 08:44 PM']Some of that is absurd, but I understand the sentiments.

I work with elementary aged kids every day, and there is something to be said for taking the time to actually understand what's going on in a given situation from the kid's point of view, rather than pulling out the old "I'm the adult, do it my way or it's the highway" approach.[/quote]

I do resort to the "I'm the adult" approach [i]after[/i] I've explained WHY we're are going to do what I've said. Otherwise, at times I just get a bunch of reasons why we shouldn't, or don't need to, or why kids shouldn't have to, etc, etc. I don't really feel I need to debate for extended periods of time with a 10 year old about why she needs to pick up her toys, brush her hair, or put her shoes on and get to the car rather than sitting in front of the TV watching Yu-Gi-Oh all day.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1828941' date='Apr 8 2009, 02:25 PM']No kidding. I've seen this with my siblings. There have been times when my jaw literally dropped because I saw a younger sibling get away with something I'd have been punished for. (not that I'm criticizing my mom here, but the inner child in me sometimes gets a little miffed and wonder what the heck happened and how is that possibly fair. lol)[/quote]


Just wait, Icy... your turn is coming. I'm sure your oldest will take note of your failure to be equal in all situations... I know mine has.

[xTrishaxLynnx]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1828937' date='Apr 8 2009, 01:23 PM']Parents operate differently for younger kids, I've found. I think they get tired.[/quote]

Oh, I know that's what's going on with my Dad and my sister. He was only 36 when I was 10, and now my sister's 10 and he's 48... I imagine there's quite a difference in his energy level. He's also ended up raising both of us mostly by himself, though til I was 7 we lived w/ my grandparents, and now he's got me to help with my sister. The problem with that is - she's my sister. We get annoyed with each other on a regular basis, so sometimes it's not so much of a help. Plus, since I'm "just her sister" she doesn't necessarily see me as an authority figure. To her, we're about equal except for our age.

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1828941' date='Apr 8 2009, 01:25 PM']No kidding. I've seen this with my siblings. There have been times when my jaw literally dropped because I saw a younger sibling get away with something I'd have been punished for. (not that I'm criticizing my mom here, but the inner child in me sometimes gets a little miffed and wonder what the heck happened and how is that possibly fair. lol)[/quote]

Sometimes I do get miffed as well, though when I actually think about it, I feel bad for her. She's not getting the discipline or guidance I now feel priviledged to have had. If I hadn't come to appreciate it, or if I hadn't had it at all to begin with, I might never have grown out of my rebellious stage and come back to the Church. I worry about my sister when it comes to that especially.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1828961' date='Apr 8 2009, 03:42 PM']Just wait, Icy... your turn is coming. I'm sure your oldest will take note of your failure to be equal in all situations... I know mine has.[/quote]

Dagnabbit.

I'm sure you're right, but I'm at least going to try to remain on an even keel. Hopefully because I'm aware of what it's like to be the kid in that situation it'll help me be a better parent to all my kids. Right now we're equal opportunity: everyone has the same chances to pick up their junk (etc.) before Mom or Dad gets to it.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='xTrishaxLynnx' post='1828966' date='Apr 8 2009, 12:47 PM']Oh, I know that's what's going on with my Dad and my sister. He was only 36 when I was 10, and now my sister's 10 and he's 48... I imagine there's quite a difference in his energy level. He's also ended up raising both of us mostly by himself, though til I was 7 we lived w/ my grandparents, and now he's got me to help with my sister. The problem with that is - she's my sister. We get annoyed with each other on a regular basis, so sometimes it's not so much of a help. Plus, since I'm "just her sister" she doesn't necessarily see me as an authority figure. To her, we're about equal except for our age.

Sometimes I do get miffed as well, though when I actually think about it, I feel bad for her. She's not getting the discipline or guidance I now feel priviledged to have had. If I hadn't come to appreciate it, or if I hadn't had it at all to begin with, I might never have grown out of my rebellious stage and come back to the Church. I worry about my sister when it comes to that especially.[/quote]
Yeah I had the same situation babysitting younger sibs, although I grew up with both parents. They left me to babysit quite often, but it's hard to be "in charge" if you're just a sibling. It meant a lot of fighting between us when mom and dad were gone. I understand the expediency and frugality of asking an older sibling to help with watching younger kids, but it does put the older kid in a difficult situation.

My relationship with my youngest brother, though, is different than with my other sibs, because I moved out (for college) when he was 2. I am more like an aunt.