missionseeker Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 We never got allowances for chores. Other kids thought that was weird. We did not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Lesson I learned today. No matter how old you are you will never be able to fool your parents or keep something hidden from them! They're too smart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 My husband antagonizes me just because of my reaction (and out of affection). The less I react, the less he antagonizes me. The more strong my reaction is, the more likely he is to keep poking at me. This was also true of my brothers, friends, etc. I do it myself. My parents used to tell me I didn't have to respond to people's attempts to get me riled up. It took a while, but eventually I saw the wisdom of that. Now, I only respond if I want to play along. Parents are pretty awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 [quote name='StColette' post='1827697' date='Apr 7 2009, 06:55 PM']Lesson I learned today. No matter how old you are you will never be able to fool your parents or keep something hidden from them! They're too smart![/quote] Easier if you live an ocean away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosey Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 [quote name='Terra Firma' post='1827700' date='Apr 7 2009, 02:57 PM']My husband antagonizes me just because of my reaction (and out of affection). The less I react, the less he antagonizes me. The more strong my reaction is, the more likely he is to keep poking at me. This was also true of my brothers, friends, etc. I do it myself. My parents used to tell me I didn't have to respond to people's attempts to get me riled up. It took a while, but eventually I saw the wisdom of that. Now, I only respond if I want to play along. Parents are pretty awesome.[/quote] Yeah. Same here. I was wicked touchy when I was 13 and 14. Everything made me burst into tears. And people kept telling me I had to get a thicker skin and not let things get to me because people in the real world weren't going to give me a break. Maybe it was cruel to provoke me but I believe being in a family is meant to help you with things like that and I would have been a major wuss had they not given me that challenge. I've learned to deal with a lot now and I'm actually taking my parents' advice. Parents are wicked awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 I believe I have successfully removed all the posts which have nothing to do with the thread topic. Now we can carry on with a fruitful discussion. Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 [quote name='Moosey' post='1828166' date='Apr 7 2009, 07:58 PM']Yeah. Same here. I was wicked touchy when I was 13 and 14. Everything made me burst into tears. And people kept telling me I had to get a thicker skin and not let things get to me because people in the real world weren't going to give me a break. Maybe it was cruel to provoke me but I believe being in a family is meant to help you with things like that and I would have been a major wuss had they not given me that challenge. I've learned to deal with a lot now and I'm actually taking my parents' advice. Parents are wicked awesome![/quote] Yeah. I think one of the biggest problems with consensual living, actually, is that it puts parents on the same footing as their kids, which gives less credibility to the advice parents give their kids. And, it invites parents to act more like kids than like parents. I think one of the most valuable things my parents taught me is that I can't do much to change other people, but I can do a lot to change my own attitude and response. I can keep my own side of the street clean. There are always going to be jerks and bullies, so I have had to learn how to respond in a way that doesn't validate and feed into that sort of behavior. I got a lot of guidance on that from my parents, whose wisdom and experience really helped, after I got over myself enough to listen to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 A family is where children are civilized to the rules of the community because the authority figures lead and the children follow. If the group has no rule or authority there is no civilization. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 [quote name='missionseeker' post='1827657' date='Apr 7 2009, 02:01 PM']We never got allowances for chores. Other kids thought that was weird. We did not.[/quote] Neither did we. I can't recall my parents ever just giving me money to go spend on whatever I wanted. I know there were a few times where we had field trips or something and Mom would give us some money in case we needed it, but other than that... nope. I don't think I ever asked for money, either. By the time I was in my teens I was babysitting (for other people, I didn't get paid to watch my own siblings haha) and got a job so I had my own income for things I wanted to buy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 [quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1828878' date='Apr 8 2009, 06:09 PM']By the time I was in my teens I was babysitting (for other people, I didn't get paid to watch my own siblings haha) and got a job so I had my own income for things I wanted to buy.[/quote] Yep. On the job part, not the babysitting. I always thought it was weird when classmates would get paid for their grades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1828885' date='Apr 8 2009, 11:16 AM']Yep. On the job part, not the babysitting. I always thought it was weird when classmates would get paid for their grades.[/quote] Yeah I had friends who got that too. It was very odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosey Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 [quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1828878' date='Apr 8 2009, 02:09 PM']By the time I was in my teens I was babysitting (for other people, I didn't get paid to watch my own siblings haha) and got a job so I had my own income for things I wanted to buy.[/quote] People would always ask me if I got payed to babysit my brothers, and I was like....."eh?" Why on earth would I charge my parents for me to do something Im bound to do as an older sister? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 (edited) [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1828885' date='Apr 8 2009, 12:16 PM']Yep. On the job part, not the babysitting. I always thought it was weird when classmates would get paid for their grades.[/quote] Yeah, it would be even more weird if your younger siblings got paid for them when you didn't. I know from experience. I used to get grounded for getting C's in Jr. High and High School, and my sister, who is in elementary school right now, gets something ridiculous like $5 for them. Edited April 8, 2009 by xTrishaxLynnx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xTrishaxLynnx Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 (edited) Double post. Edited April 8, 2009 by xTrishaxLynnx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted April 8, 2009 Share Posted April 8, 2009 [quote name='xTrishaxLynnx' post='1828916' date='Apr 8 2009, 01:09 PM']Yeah, it would be even more weird if your younger siblings got paid for them when you didn't. I know from experience. I used to get grounded for getting C's in Jr. High and High School, and my sister, who is in elementary school right now, gets something ridiculous like $5 for them. [/quote] Parents operate differently for younger kids, I've found. I think they get tired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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