Consensual Living

[Moosey]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1826745' date='Apr 6 2009, 09:17 PM']And this is also why children and teenagers should not be given an allowance for simple household chores, such as washing the dishes and mowing the lawn. My parents never gave us allowance although they did provide movie money when I was in high school. However, they did NOT go crazy by handing us huge bills to waste on unnecessary clothing, etc. and we were taught that our responsibilities around the house were just that, responsibilities - things that were expected of us.[/quote]
Oh gosh, this kid I used to babysit got an allowance (like big bucks, 10s and 20s) for sweeping the deck. He was 7 It was lame.

Edited April 7, 2009 by Moosey

[Sojourner]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1826911' date='Apr 6 2009, 08:05 PM']Shheeee... ya think? [/quote]
Yeah ... let's just say she now lives in CA, which is just about as far in the continental U.S. as you can get from their home in VA.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Moosey' post='1826912' date='Apr 6 2009, 09:05 PM']Oh gosh, this kid I used to babysit got an allowance (like big bucks, 10s and 20s) for sweeping the deck. He was 7 It was lame.[/quote]
I was given a fairly significant allowance for a few years in there, mostly for doing what was expected of me... but part of what was expected of me was buying all my own clothing, and learning how to be responsible with money.
It actually worked with me; I never spend.
The allowance ended entirely when I got a job though, which is good.

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1826745' date='Apr 6 2009, 09:17 PM']And this is also why children and teenagers should not be given an allowance for simple household chores, such as washing the dishes and mowing the lawn. My parents never gave us allowance although they did provide movie money when I was in high school. However, they did NOT go crazy by handing us huge bills to waste on unnecessary clothing, etc. and we were taught that our responsibilities around the house were just that, responsibilities - things that were expected of us.[/quote]


I got an allowance, however it was very meager, as we did not have much. But my parents would have never, ever considered my allowance was payment for chores. No way, Shantay! My allowance was simply a gratuity that was contingent upon doing the things I was supposed to do (chores and helping look after my younger siblings) as well as behaving in general. In any case, I was an extremely obedient child, so I always got my bit of cash each Saturday which I mostly used to buy candy and gum balls.

[CatherineM]

When it came to privacy, I gave it to them until, or unless, they did something to make me violate it. I told them that if they never wanted me to come in their room, they would have to bring dirty cups or dirty clothes and put them where they belonged. If I had to go in to retrieve them, then if I saw something they didn't want me to see, too bad. As long as I got the notes every week that they had completed their homework for that week, then I had no reason to did in their backpacks to find out what homework they needed to do.

On the other hand, once when they were very clean and orderly for a couple of weeks, I knew something was up so I decided to vacuum. They had an interesting magazine under the bed. I disposed of it, and neither one of them ever asked me where it went either.

[Winchester]

"I'm hearing that you want to attack the fire from the window."

"Yes, I think that's a good idea."

"Well, I would like to use the back door, even though it's farther..."

<house burns down>

There has to be a leader.

[Archaeology cat]

I guess I'll just let my son decide when he wants a bath, nappy change, or when to go to bed. While I'm at it, I'll un-baby-proof the house so he can make his own decisions.

[quote name='eagle_eye222001' post='1826748' date='Apr 7 2009, 01:21 AM']Always amazed when my parents would hear stories of kids getting $20 for doing their lawn or doing simple chores such as trash. If the lawn needed to be mowed, my Mom would tell one of us to start mowing or if the trash needed to be taken out, we got told, (asked but it was understood to be in manner of being told).

I think I got paid for a couple things but that was when I was graduating from high school and one of the chores was to stain the big wooden swing-set we had. Not a 5 minute job. Took me like half a day or something like that. And I got paid a respectable amount for it. It wasn't a sack of bills [/quote]
Can't say I ever got paid for yard work or such things. I did get an allowance so I could pay for my lunch at school or get things I needed/wanted.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1827026' date='Apr 6 2009, 10:38 PM']When it came to privacy, I gave it to them until, or unless, they did something to make me violate it. I told them that if they never wanted me to come in their room, they would have to bring dirty cups or dirty clothes and put them where they belonged. If I had to go in to retrieve them, then if I saw something they didn't want me to see, too bad. As long as I got the notes every week that they had completed their homework for that week, then I had no reason to did in their backpacks to find out what homework they needed to do.

On the other hand, once when they were very clean and orderly for a couple of weeks, I knew something was up so I decided to vacuum. They had an interesting magazine under the bed. I disposed of it, and neither one of them ever asked me where it went either.[/quote]

Yeah, I can't imagine any boy in his right mind asking his mom if she's seen his porno mags while vacuuming.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1827446' date='Apr 7 2009, 07:36 AM']Yeah, I can't imagine any boy in his right mind asking his mom if she's seen his porno mags while vacuuming.[/quote]
Uh, yeah. Most teenage boys would be too embarrassed to ask Mom about stuff like that. The more likely course would be to buy another.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1827564' date='Apr 7 2009, 11:35 AM']Uh, yeah. Most teenage boys would be too embarrassed to ask Mom about stuff like that. The more likely course would be to buy another.[/quote]
Embarrassed? I was thinking they should be too scared out of their minds to admit to having them in the first place. But yeah... any kid that hides them would write them off as a loss and hope the subject NEVER comes up.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1827569' date='Apr 7 2009, 10:39 AM']Embarrassed? I was thinking they should be too scared out of their minds to admit to having them in the first place. But yeah... any kid that hides them would write them off as a loss and hope the subject NEVER comes up.[/quote]
I suppose it depends on what sort of relationship you have with Mom. I don't think either of my brothers was scared of Mom by the time they were old enough to be looking at dirty mags, but they did still care what Mom (and Dad, presumably) thought of their behavior.

Do you think it's best for a parent in this situation to not address finding the magazine, or to say something about it and try to create a teaching moment?

[Brother Adam]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1827569' date='Apr 7 2009, 12:39 PM']Embarrassed? I was thinking they should be too scared out of their minds to admit to having them in the first place. But yeah... any kid that hides them would write them off as a loss and hope the subject NEVER comes up.[/quote]

True. It makes me wonder what I would if I or my kids mother ever found porn in their room or on the family computer. I would think it needs to be addressed in some way. Though I suppose if I was a teenager again and had something hidden under my bed and it disappeared I would be panicked for the rest of my life that my parents might bring it up and would never get a hold of anything else like it. You have to wonder how teens get garbage like that anyway. It is so easy for them to fall down the path of addiction.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Brother Adam' post='1827577' date='Apr 7 2009, 10:48 AM']True. It makes me wonder what I would if I or my kids mother ever found porn in their room or on the family computer. I would think it needs to be addressed in some way. Though I suppose if I was a teenager again and had something hidden under my bed and it disappeared I would be panicked for the rest of my life that my parents might bring it up and would never get a hold of anything else like it. You have to wonder how teens get garbage like that anyway. It is so easy for them to fall down the path of addiction.[/quote]
Yeah, I can see how some kids would react like that, while other kids would just get mad and find better hiding places. I suppose that means you just have to know your kids very, very well.

[MIKolbe]

I once went on strike at home. I thought my allowance was not enough given my dilligence, punctuality, and seniority. I was being passed over for jobs like 'driving' and 'using heavy machinery'.

I made a picket sign and everything.

My Dad thought it was funny, my Mom didn't.

Needless to say, we came to an amicable agreement quickly which resulted in me NOT getting my hind parts handed to me.

Si, se puede!!!!!!!

[homeschoolmom]

lalalalalala... I am sticking fingers in my ears and I can't hear you.... Go away bad subject!

Honestly, I think I know my kids pretty well and my ds would probably fall into the more embarrassed than scared category. Yes, I would address it with him. Or let HSdad do it...