Consensual Living

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='StColette' post='1826394' date='Apr 6 2009, 03:41 PM']I wonder what Super Nanny would think of this?[/quote]
"What in bloody 'ell do you think you're doing? You parents, bunch of gits, off to the naughty chair!"

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='hot stuff' post='1826411' date='Apr 6 2009, 04:04 PM']Personally I think this is ridiculous. Children need discipline, first of all. And second of all, parents serve as the primary example of authority. They are the first authority the children are introduced to. How can you expect children to respect their teachers, elders, older family members, and the law if they are first not taught to respect their parents?[/quote]

What was the point of reposting what I said word-for-word?

[Jaime]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1826505' date='Apr 6 2009, 05:15 PM']What was the point of reposting what I said word-for-word?[/quote]

I didn't we just have a similar view

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='hot stuff' post='1826509' date='Apr 6 2009, 05:16 PM']I didn't we just have a similar view[/quote]

[StColette]

There isn't a phorum guideline against sharing a similar view and two or more parties posting those similar views.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1826389' date='Apr 6 2009, 01:38 PM']+J.M.J.+
[url="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090331.wlconsensual31art1835/BNStory/lifeFamily/home"]Article here[/url]


[/quote]
Crazy.

The thing is, kids WANT guidance from parents, even if they won't admit it.

[hoosieranna]

The parents want the apology to be "authentic"? If I tried to hit another kid I got yanked out of the situation and a stern talking to. Wow. It blows the mind.

[Nihil Obstat]

Parental discipline combined with my own personality type has given me a certain type of behaviour that by and large I'm quite proud of. I'd never want to change that.

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1826389' date='Apr 6 2009, 04:38 PM']+J.M.J.+
[url="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090331.wlconsensual31art1835/BNStory/lifeFamily/home"]Article here[/url]


[/quote]


Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Not where I come from.

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1826393' date='Apr 6 2009, 04:41 PM']How ridiculous. Children need discipline, first of all. And second of all, parents serve as the primary example of authority - the first authority the children are introduced to. How can you expect children to respect their teachers, elders, older family members, and the law if they are first not taught to respect their parents?[/quote]

There's this TV show that features a British nanny who comes to the house and basically helps teach the parents how to handle their children. I think it's called Super Nanny or something. One of her biggest warnings to parents is that they must NEVER consult their children or ask them what they want to do. For example, never ask a child, "Do you want to go upstairs and get ready for bed?". TELL THEM, "It's time to go upstairs and get ready for bed". She insists that is it of the utmost importance that parents be the parents and use their authority. There are other parenting specialists who don't believe children/teens should be allowed to have locks on their doors and that parents can and should go into their teens rooms whenever they want and look through their things, that kids have no entitlement to privacy in a house that they do not own, run, nor pay for.

Edited April 6, 2009 by Madame Vengier

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='Brother Adam' post='1826447' date='Apr 6 2009, 05:43 PM']This is totally against the patriarchal model of revelation and the family that our Lord gave us. It doesn't work and leads to its intended goal - anarchy.[/quote]


Right, but one needn't be a Christian or even religious to know this is a crock.

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='StColette' post='1826516' date='Apr 6 2009, 06:18 PM']There isn't a phorum guideline against sharing a similar view and two or more parties posting those similar views.[/quote]

He didn't post a similar view. He posted her own comments word for word. And HCF didn't call into question forum guidelines.

I think some people here enjoy harassing, needling and provoking HCF...and others enjoy watching it happen. Shameful, really, to treat a 21 year old girl this way and even worse to take such perverse pleasure in it.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='Madame Vengier' post='1826658' date='Apr 6 2009, 07:08 PM']There are other parenting specialists who don't believe children/teens should be allowed to have locks on their doors and that parents can and should go into their teens rooms whenever they want and look through their things, that kids have no entitlement to privacy in a house that they do not own, run, nor pay for.[/quote]

I think that may be a little too severe because adolescents need space from their parents to mature and grow into their own person - I should say "some space" because parents, while still authority figures, also need to become guides. Therefore I am opposed to the idea of parents wandering into their teenagers' rooms to poke and prod. If they want to check the computer that is one thing, but if they want to snoop for diaries...I believe that would set the teenagers off (many of whom are volatile enough as it is) and they would never trust their parents again which COULD lead them to "rebel" against authority in general. (The exception is, of course, if the parents suspect their children of doing drugs and are searching through rooms out of concern.) I do like the door idea, though. And if the doorknobs naturally have locks, the teenagers should be told not to lock them.

[eagle_eye222001]

Now let's take the article's advice and solve our conflicts.

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[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1826682' date='Apr 6 2009, 08:32 PM']I think that may be a little too severe because adolescents need space from their parents to mature and grow into their own person - I should say "some space" because parents, while still authority figures, also need to become guides. Therefore I am opposed to the idea of parents wandering into their teenagers' rooms to poke and prod. If they want to check the computer that is one thing, but if they want to snoop for diaries...I believe that would set the teenagers off (many of whom are volatile enough as it is) and they would never trust their parents again which COULD lead them to "rebel" against authority in general. (The exception is, of course, if the parents suspect their children of doing drugs and are searching through rooms out of concern.) I do like the door idea, though. And if the doorknobs naturally have locks, the teenagers should be told not to lock them.[/quote]


For sure I don't agree about the privacy thing, not to that degree. But I do feel there is an enormous problem in America with children being allowed to live under their parents roof as if they own the place. There is this little boy that I love a lot and I see him a couple times a week, he's 9 years old--JUST turned 9 years old. We were talking about things and somehow we got on bills and you should have seen his cute little face when I told him all the bills his parents have to pay for JUST to be able to LIVE in the house, nevermind general maintenance and upkeep. I wanted him to feel great gratitude for his parents and what they do to provide for him and his 3 older brothers. Children take things for granted, they just don't know about stuff. He was MOST shocked to learn that mommy and daddy have to pay for the cable. He thought cable was free!!! Now, this is only a 9 year old child, so we expect him not to know stuff, but there are teens who think the same way. Clueless. Cluelessness breeds ingratitude. Ingratitude breeds selfishness.

Edited April 7, 2009 by Madame Vengier