the lords sheep Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 So today I talked (again) with my parents about my future vocation (pending acceptance, of course).... let's just say it wasn't pretty. I know a lot of their problem is that they're scared for me, but i'm still having a hard time combating the voices of the world (and my parents) that say "you're throwing your life/gifts/talents/dreams away," "you're going to regret it when you get older," "you can do so many better things" etc etc. In my heart I know, that in spite of all these doubts that they're vocalizing (some of which echo the doubts of my heart), God is calling me to be a religious Sister. However, any words of encouragement/advice would be welcomed... In Christ, Lauren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 I know how you feel, just remember, even though your parents may have the best intentions at heart, only God knows what you truly need to make you happy. My mom tried to guilt trip me at first by saying that she would miss me and wondered why I didn't want to get married. I told her that it was her vocation to be married, but I was called to something else. No matter how I tried to explain it, she just didn't understand. I explained that I was called to this way of life, but she said that I don't know that. I drove her and myself crazy and realized I just needed to pray for her to understand. So I brought it to Adoration and asked Jesus to reveal the calling to her, and it took about a month or so, but she finally fully accepts my decision and is actually rooting for me to be accepted! She went from being scared for me, to being my favorite cheerleader! But this didn't mean I let myself be overwhelmed by her worry. I showed her, through example, that I was serious. I kept trying to be an active witness in the faith by being a faithful member of the Church and living the Gospel as best I could. It worked! All it takes is a little trial and effort on your part, but mainly, trust in God is KEY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 [quote name='the lords sheep' post='1819562' date='Mar 29 2009, 11:17 AM']...(and my parents) that say "you're throwing your life/gifts/talents/dreams away," "you're going to regret it when you get older," "[/quote] All I can say is that if you don't try it, you are going to regret it when you get older! I am 56 and wish I had ignored the voices of this world (my family especially) who told me that I would be wasting my life etc etc etc..... Tell your parents that discernment is a logical step in the road of life, no matter what path one chooses. You need to check this out for yourself.... there are no commitments for quite a long time. Prayers for you and them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortnun Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 I found [b][url="http://anunslife.org/2009/03/27/sisterhood-catholic-sisters-nuns/"]this recent post[/url][/b] on Sr. Julie Viera's blog very helpful. Perhaps it will be helpful for you, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomist-in-Training Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 In a biography of St Anthony I read (pitched at middle school children possibly but I still enjoyed it!), when St Anthony is trying to get permission to become a canon, his parents frown and ask why. When he next talks to the prior, he is asked lots of questions and told "We have to test your vocation, you see." He replies, "Oh, my parents are already doing that!" Basically, you have to resist the urge that says "They're my parents, and they always know what is best for me." They don't always know, even if they are your parents. So, you have to pray a lot (don't give up! I often give up prayer when embattled and it's the worst response!) and take their opposition as a way to strengthen your own resolve to pursue God's will all the way to the end. Don't do something rash to spite them. As long as you don't do that, you just have to do what you must do, not necessarily follow their advice. I always find it encouraging in a weird way to remember that St. Thomas Aquinas' family actually [i]kidnapped him and locked him up in a tower[/i] when he was already a novice because they couldn't stand the idea of his becoming a penniless friar. "If you [i]must [/i]be a man of the church, son, couldn't you at least be a Benedictine? They are long-established and they live in a style befitting our family dignity." As we know, he escaped and was a credit to the Church! But he certainly didn't have an easy time getting there. An Ave for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 St. Catherine of Sienna's parents wanted her to get married instead of live out her true vocation and to counteract them she cut her hair so that no man would want to marry her. It sure freaked her family out when she did that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 [quote name='tinytherese' post='1819849' date='Mar 29 2009, 07:27 PM']St. Catherine of Sienna's parents wanted her to get married instead of live out her true vocation and to counteract them she cut her hair so that no man would want to marry her. It sure freaked her family out when she did that! [/quote] That's funny that you should mention that! I talked with my Spiritual Director this Wednesday about the very same thing! St. Catherine of Siena is my hero! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowedseraph Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 My mum always says she's going to loose me whenever i mention my vocation. I have tried to explain many times that she can never loose me, now i just take it to God in prayer Be strong Lauren and know that we're all praying for you and your parents! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srmarymichael Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 (edited) As a Sister, I have seen parents change their minds as they see their daughters happy. When they see the actual convent, meet the Sisters, see that they are not being tortured, etc., it's like grace kicks in and they begin to not only accept it but love it! We have had some Sisters that get closer to their families after entering the convent. This is because they are now transending time and space with a deeper relationship based on God and trust in Him... It's hard to explain. The other day my mom was here visiting and she said, "You don't lose a daughter, you gain 20 more daughters!" At the same time, there are some parents who never accept it. This is the risk we take when following the Lord of Love. What is more important to us? To be fulfilled in our calling and love relationship with Him? or to please our parents? (if someone is in love with a man, for example, would we ask our parents first if we should marry him?) And regarding the gifts / talents, etc. Who gave them to us? God did. So why should we not give them back to Him, totally at His disposal for whatever He wants? And, someone up above on another post also said it correctly, it takes years before we are committed completely in Religious Life; it sounds to me that you need to try this to see if it's your calling. If it is, you will be SO happy! You will have the grace to do it. And you will be God's special bride! God bless you! Prayers your way! smm Edited March 30, 2009 by srmarymichael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlesister Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Well put, St. Mary Michael! It may take a while, but once our parents (and families...and friends...) see that we're happy, they come around to accepting it and eventually being happy about it, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I was so happy when my mom asked me, out of the blue, if she could go to the convent to visit with me!!! She wasn't very accepting of my vocation before (though she denies this now), but I didn't even ask her to visit, and she made the request on her own. All it takes is a little bit of effort, and a LOT of prayer!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srmarymichael Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 [quote name='littlesister' post='1820416' date='Mar 30 2009, 01:00 PM']Well put, St. Mary Michael! It may take a while, but once our parents (and families...and friends...) see that we're happy, they come around to accepting it and eventually being happy about it, too.[/quote] God is SO good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth09 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Just tell you mom and dad that you will always be her daughter. Also tell them that you are not throwing away your life/gifts/talents/dreams away. There are some sisters call Carmelite Sisters Of The Divine Heart Of Jesus (yes, they are very happy) that I known for about 2 years (in July). Here is there website. [url="http://www.carmelitedcj.org/"]http://www.carmelitedcj.org/[/url] They always have three retreats a year. They love just to laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatus Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 Be strong. Use it as an opportunity to do battle with the enemy because in your life as a religious, you will most certainly be challenged. Be firm. Be loving. Be faithful. Whatever your parents dish out is nothing compared to what the enemy has up his sleeve, believe me. I've been through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth09 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 Just remind that you are to choose what you what to do in life, and not them. Too many times someone really have a passion for the religious life and their parents have them marry , like St. Rita. You have to remind them that thay choose the married life, and you are going to a differet life, as religious. St. Therese of Lisieux choose the religious, Carmelite order, too, so can you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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