Where Are You In Your Religious Discernment?

[TheresaThoma]

Is is okay to contact a religious communty's vocation director just to schedule a time to meet? I've been in contact with a vocations director, but only over the phone and email. I would like to meet her in person, but I don't want to waste her time since this would be nothing too important. What do you think? And how do you suggest to go about asking? Thanks :)

 

I think that it would be great to meet with her in person. Since you have been in contact with her over the phone and email meeting in person is the next logical step. Even though it feels like "nothing too important" this is how a community gets to know you.

I would suggest next time you call or email her mention that you would like to meet in person and give a general time frame (ie a few different dates) that you would be available. Ask if any of those times would work for her.

Don't over think it (I do this too) and don't worry too much!

[Cantantibus]

Thank you!

[Anastasia13]

I am dating someone but I want to learn more about eastern convents and such.

Edited July 8, 2014 by Light and Truth

[marigold]

I am dating someone but I want to learn more about eastern convents and such.

Co.ol!

[chrysostom]

Next month I am making an informal two-night visit with a friend of mine to a nearby monastery coinciding with the feast of the Assumption.  (:  Discerning a vocation there isn't my specific goal - since my friend was already visiting I thought I'd join him and split the gas money - but I am open.  It will be nice to experience a day of the horarium and hopefully talk with a monk or two!  I haven't actually spent any length of time at a monastery/community so I am looking forward to this.

[superblue]

I am at a cross roads, I have seen how hard it is to be accepted into the seminary, my situation with my diocese is at the least complicated and the vocations director is not willing to communicate with me,  I could move to a new diocese but I have no idea as to how to start some where new, fresh, take the lessons I learned and not make the same mistakes twice, or wait a few more years and test the waters with my diocese again , or just say hey why not discern with a few religious orders....i'd rather make things right with my diocese but that is such a giant uphill battle, and I would be surprised if they ever gave me another chance to at least show that I have grown and am understanding things better.....I am learning religious orders are interested in what I can bring to the order, so that is another obstacle , having piety and zeal is not enough. A college degree might help, so I am working on that front right now, but it wont guarantee me a secular career nor a religious career path to serve Christ and others.

 

But what ever, God's will rarely coincides with ones desires, but it does make me wonder how versus the people who have tarnished the Church managed to some how find a " Calling ", and I know who I am, and I know what I am not, and I tried and screwed up so bad out of fear and it is like one door shutting after another.....  And I have no idea who to turn to for direction on this as I really do not want to serve in the secular world under people who could honestly care less what they do or how they do it or who they hurt in the process of making or doing what ever it is they do.  To only face similar issues in this process, from clergy who may feel one does not belong or is not called, and is wrong, and shuts the door on the wrong person , or has an agenda for what ever reason which is going to bar someone from getting in where they should be.

 

But then comes God will lead and it becomes so convoluted. But yet I find myself not wanting to give up. which makes me aggravated.

 

 

[marigold]

I'm sorry you're finding it so difficult at the moment, Superblue. *hugs*

[1054]

I am at a cross roads, I have seen how hard it is to be accepted into the seminary, my situation with my diocese is at the least complicated and the vocations director is not willing to communicate with me,  I could move to a new diocese but I have no idea as to how to start some where new, fresh, take the lessons I learned and not make the same mistakes twice, or wait a few more years and test the waters with my diocese again , or just say hey why not discern with a few religious orders....i'd rather make things right with my diocese but that is such a giant uphill battle, and I would be surprised if they ever gave me another chance to at least show that I have grown and am understanding things better.....I am learning religious orders are interested in what I can bring to the order, so that is another obstacle , having piety and zeal is not enough. A college degree might help, so I am working on that front right now, but it wont guarantee me a secular career nor a religious career path to serve Christ and others.

 

But what ever, God's will rarely coincides with ones desires, but it does make me wonder how versus the people who have tarnished the Church managed to some how find a " Calling ", and I know who I am, and I know what I am not, and I tried and screwed up so bad out of fear and it is like one door shutting after another.....  And I have no idea who to turn to for direction on this as I really do not want to serve in the secular world under people who could honestly care less what they do or how they do it or who they hurt in the process of making or doing what ever it is they do.  To only face similar issues in this process, from clergy who may feel one does not belong or is not called, and is wrong, and shuts the door on the wrong person , or has an agenda for what ever reason which is going to bar someone from getting in where they should be.

 

But then comes God will lead and it becomes so convoluted. But yet I find myself not wanting to give up. which makes me aggravated.

 

Saying a prayer for you.  :)


Not sure where is the best place to ask this --- it's a question about religious discernment, but please let me know if it would be better moved to another thread:
I've heard it said by clergy that in order to discern whether an individual has a true monastic vocation one of the first signs will be that the individual wants to become a monastic.  Have any of you come across this line of thought?  So often what God wants us to do is truly the furthest from what we would have chosen for ourselves.  I'm wondering if anyone has any experience on someone having a monastic calling that doesn't necessarily want to become a monastic.  (Saint Thomas of Canterbury springs to mind --- even though he wasn't a monk)

Many of you have shared your experiences of wanting to enter religious life and -- due to various reasons -- either had to put this on hold or find your vocation 'in the world' instead.  Any personal experiences of the opposite?  Someone wanting a life in the world and against all odds being pulled into the monastery? 
 

[Carla]

My situation is that i'm waiting conformation from the community i'm discerning now for more then year.Then i hope so i will get entrance date.

[Spem in alium]

Officially handing over my papers this Saturday.  :dancer1:

[Feankie]

Spem and Carla....Such good news from you both. Praying for good news .

[Spem in alium]

Spem and Carla....Such good news from you both. Praying for good news .

 

Thank you. :) It will be great to finally apply. Prayers for you too!

[SilentJoy]

Saying a prayer for you.  :)


Not sure where is the best place to ask this --- it's a question about religious discernment, but please let me know if it would be better moved to another thread:
I've heard it said by clergy that in order to discern whether an individual has a true monastic vocation one of the first signs will be that the individual wants to become a monastic.  Have any of you come across this line of thought?  So often what God wants us to do is truly the furthest from what we would have chosen for ourselves.  I'm wondering if anyone has any experience on someone having a monastic calling that doesn't necessarily want to become a monastic.  (Saint Thomas of Canterbury springs to mind --- even though he wasn't a monk)

Many of you have shared your experiences of wanting to enter religious life and -- due to various reasons -- either had to put this on hold or find your vocation 'in the world' instead.  Any personal experiences of the opposite?  Someone wanting a life in the world and against all odds being pulled into the monastery? 
 

In discernment literature, I've read that Teresa of Avila chose to enter Carmel because she thought it was the better way for her to serve God. She didn't initially have much attraction for it but forced herself to desire religious life. That was not given as an ideal way to discern a vocation (primarily we should be drawn by love), but it was one facet of discernment - how am I personally meant to serve God? I need to pursue how God wants to reveal Himself in me and through me, even if I might not initially be attracted to that vocation. I don't have my own story about wanting a life in the world and ending up seeking out a Monastery, but I've heard a lot of them. I think it is common. I was communicating for several months with a Carmelite who had a good career and every intention of settling down with the right guy, but then she saw a nun in habit, and for some reason she knew that it was time to change course.

[Crucesignata]

Pretty sure I'm called to the Nashies, but having to wait... and about to step into college.  XP  (Any advice out there for what to do while waiting?  I know there are a couple good articles out there by the Dominicans, but does anyone in the same boat/who used to be in the same boat have advice?)

 

Pax et Bonum!

[domenica_therese]

Pretty sure I'm called to the Nashies, but having to wait... and about to step into college.  XP  (Any advice out there for what to do while waiting?  I know there are a couple good articles out there by the Dominicans, but does anyone in the same boat/who used to be in the same boat have advice?)

 

Pax et Bonum!

 

I used to be in the same boat. :)  Well, not quite the same boat, as it was only a year instead of the presumably longer you're facing if you're about to go off to college. My advice would be:
 

1) Have a sense of purpose where you are. The period of waiting is not because "they won't let me" or "I can't" but because "right now I am supposed to be here and not there." You are going to be placed at the college where you will be, not stuck. This is great practice for the future experience of being missioned out somewhere, who knows where. One thing that really helped me with finding a sense of purpose was a comment a Sister made that sometimes she would be on mission somewhere almost a whole year feeling like it was a waste, and then she would have a conversation with someone who really needed to have that conversation with her, and it was as if the whole year was worthwhile just for that time. I experienced that a lot at my University this past year, except it wasn't just one moment or conversation, it was dozens.

 

2) Study what you love, and ideally what will be useful where you're bound. This helps a lot with having a feeling of purpose where you are. For example, I majored in education and Spanish and then did my thesis on St. Dominic. :P Really helped with the whole "I don't feel like writing a thesis" sentiment when by not wanting to write thesis I would be expressing disinterest in the founder of my future order. :D Didn't totally alleviate senioritis, but man oh man I would have been dying without that.

 

3) Find outlets of ministry. Not that your studies and your everyday life aren't this, in fact, the Nashville postulants don't do any particularly extraordinary ministries their first year. Dishes, study, community time. :P So it's important to be able to find value in that stuff. BUT doing volunteer work (especially stuff that is up the alley of preaching/teaching, such as sidewalk counseling or tutoring) will help a lot, as will getting involved in your local campus ministry. I ended up going on our campus retreat because I wanted to staff it my senior year, but honestly although I thought I was too wise and mature to need a retreat like that ( :P ), the experience of going on it was just as helpful for my vocational state as the experience of staffing it was this past year. Be willing to respond to the Lord and be a presence to others where and how He wants you to, not how YOU want you to.

 

4) Remember that everything in a vocation is about the fact that it is your response to Christ and is rooted first and foremost and fundamentally in a relationship with Him. Cultivate a deep and regular prayer life. Pray multiple times a day, on a schedule, whether you want to or not, and try your utmost to find a way to do this in a community setting, since if you are called to religious life, the type of prayer schedule you need is also the type of prayer schedule you need a community to support you in. :D If there aren't community prayer things, be a mover and shaker and start them! I organized group liturgy of the hours at my campus last semester, and there were typically all of 3 people there at 7:30am, but hey, that's all I needed, and occasionally we had more. Evening prayer was better attended. This helped me SO MUCH. I can't emphasize enough. Also daily mass and signing up for multiple adoration hours if you can (not sure if you'll be on a Catholic campus).

 

5) Find community/avoid isolation. Ideally other people discerning if you can. And again, if it's not there, doesn't mean it can't be there. Maybe you're placed there to fill that need! I started a discernment group at my University in my last "aimless" year, and it was an ENORMOUS sense of purpose for me, and it has really blossomed, which has just been magnanimous consolation on the part of God that I was following a prompting of the Holy Spirit in starting it. This group was also huge for my perseverance. Another essential thing in this category is to find a spiritual director (a Dominican would be good, since you have this leaning already). This will help to get you out of your own head and to keep you on a realistic path. Remember, you want to be in a community, but you aren't in a community yet. It is just as easy for pride to sneak in ("I should be perfect already/before entrance!") as it is for lukewarmness or laziness, and I'd say pride is more dangerous since it isolates us from reliance on God.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and I'll answer as best I can in a public setting. :)