Dave Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1795851' date='Mar 3 2009, 12:22 AM']Your godson IS the topic of the thread, and Red's question is perfectly appropriate. If you don't tell us what you have done how can anyone be expected to give advice.[/quote] Yes, he's the topic of this thread, not me. That's why I felt the question was irrelevant -- I felt it focused too much on me and not enough on my godson and his mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Because you are the one asking, so it is helpful and relivent to know what sorts of involvement you've had thus far. I think that's why Red asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 When my parents who could not receive communion went through periods of not attending mass, my Godmother came and got me, sometimes out of bed, to go to mass. If you can not do the same, can you find someone who would be willing to take him on Saturday night? Can you call the pastoral associate at their parish and ask for suggestions? The idea that the people at one parish aren't friendly enough just shows that they don't understand what they are going to church for. There may be something else involved that you aren't being told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I don't like the idea of resorting to a book or movie as the first response. They are very impersonal and it communicates that you don't know what to say, so you're having someone else speak in your place. Frankly, when people comment that Catholic parishes are often impersonal or say that it's difficult to find a good church, I can't help but agree. Identifying with their struggle is a good, honest first step (assuming you've had the same experience... it's a safe assumption if you're Catholic ). Second, prayer is always essential... pray specifically for their needs and let them know you're praying for them. And third, you could attempt to challenge her thinking on what exactly it is she goes to church for (i.e. what happens when the current church isn't as friendly or when she finds out about some gossip or backstabbing incident?). I think if you can identify with what she's going through in the first place, you set things up for her to be genuinely interested in your thoughts on why she should remain faithfully Catholic. FWIW, it sounds like she needs to decide if she's Catholic or not... the fact that she left the Church before and came back and seems to have left again makes her sound indecisive, and I wonder if she's keeping Catholicism on the back burner as something to fall back on when other options don't work out. Another idea... she could do one of those Cursillo retreats, or find something similar going on at a local parish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 (edited) [quote name='CatherineM' post='1795898' date='Mar 3 2009, 12:39 AM']When my parents who could not receive communion went through periods of not attending mass, my Godmother came and got me, sometimes out of bed, to go to mass. If you can not do the same, can you find someone who would be willing to take him on Saturday night? Can you call the pastoral associate at their parish and ask for suggestions? The idea that the people at one parish aren't friendly enough just shows that they don't understand what they are going to church for. There may be something else involved that you aren't being told.[/quote] Hmmm ... there's a thought. I just don't know if my godson's mom would go for that, though. It could make things worse if she found out I spoke to the pastoral associate (if they have one). Then I might not get to see my godson anymore. But then again, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're right about people not understanding what they go to church for based on the friendliness of fellow parishioners. I think in her case she knew at first but soon lost sight of it. To all: Just for the record, her Catholic parish is in a neighboring town (the only one there), and the town where she lives doesn't have a Catholic parish at all. So unfortunately, the situation isn't as simple as finding a different parish. Edited March 3, 2009 by Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 You should have a careful discussion with the mother. She clearly chose you as the godfather for a reason so she must understand that you have a right to express your concerns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1795898' date='Mar 3 2009, 12:39 AM']The idea that the people at one parish aren't friendly enough just shows that they don't understand what they are going to church for.[/quote] Which people? We come to Mass to worship and commune with God -- who is a communion of persons -- in the fellowship and communion of other believers. If we aren't drawing new people into parish life, personally getting to know them and inviting them to lunch, retreats, or ministry opportunities, then while we may understand the primary purpose of Mass, we're forgetting what it means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1795925' date='Mar 2 2009, 10:55 PM']Which people? We come to Mass to worship and commune with God -- who is a communion of persons -- in the fellowship and communion of other believers. If we aren't drawing new people into parish life, personally getting to know them and inviting them to lunch, retreats, or ministry opportunities, then while we may understand the primary purpose of Mass, we're forgetting what it means.[/quote] I meant that I go to mass to go to mass. I have been very welcomed in some churches, and not so in others. Neither response influenced my attending mass. It is obviously nicer going where people are friendly and like you, but unfriendly people aren't going to drive me out. I think some people use that as an excuse to not go when something else is going on. I had a friend who started attending a Methodist church because she said it was friendlier, and it turned out to actually be about a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 (edited) [quote name='CatherineM' post='1795930' date='Mar 3 2009, 01:01 AM']I meant that I go to mass to go to mass. I have been very welcomed in some churches, and not so in others. Neither response influenced my attending mass. It is obviously nicer going where people are friendly and like you, but unfriendly people aren't going to drive me out. I think some people use that as an excuse to not go when something else is going on. I had a friend who started attending a Methodist church because she said it was friendlier, and it turned out to actually be about a guy.[/quote] Maybe... I wouldn't say it's always a convenient excuse, but no Catholic parish should be the kind of place where that excuse is plausible. We shouldn't give people reasons to go shoppin' How different would it be if Catholic parishes actually carried a reputation for being inviting and warm places to visit? What if Protestants actually came to Mass for the preaching? Now, [i]that[/i] would be a miracle! Edited March 3, 2009 by LouisvilleFan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 I know I'm hijacking my own thread here, but it's something I've been wondering for quite some time ... WHY is it that Catholic parishes so often have a reputation for being unfriendly? And why CATHOLIC parishes, of all places? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonkers Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Dave' post='1795987' date='Mar 3 2009, 02:08 AM']WHY is it that Catholic parishes so often have a reputation for being unfriendly? And why CATHOLIC parishes, of all places?[/quote] When I was going through RCIA, I never felt comfortable attending mass. Not only because I was often the only young person in the pews, but generally the vibe was very cold and indifferent. Nobody cared. Not that I felt neglected or lonely, just uncomfortable. I felt a lot more comfortable at protestant churches, even when I went by myself, there was definitely a stronger sense of community and a friendlier atmosphere. These aren't criticisms, just observations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='bonkers' post='1796099' date='Mar 3 2009, 04:43 AM']When I was going through RCIA, I never felt comfortable attending mass. Not only because I was often the only young person in the pews, but generally the vibe was very cold and indifferent. Nobody cared. Not that I felt neglected or lonely, just uncomfortable. I felt a lot more comfortable at protestant churches, even when I went by myself, there was definitely a stronger sense of community and a friendlier atmosphere. These aren't criticisms, just observations.[/quote] But after Mass, Catholic Church parking lots are way more exciting. 60yo women turn into Lord Humongous trying to get out of there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonkers Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Winchester' post='1796101' date='Mar 3 2009, 05:48 AM']But after Mass, Catholic Church parking lots are way more exciting. 60yo women turn into Lord Humongous trying to get out of there.[/quote] Hell yeah!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 [quote name='Dave' post='1795987' date='Mar 3 2009, 01:08 AM']WHY is it that Catholic parishes so often have a reputation for being unfriendly? And why CATHOLIC parishes, of all places?[/quote] I think because a lot of people do not understand the Mass and go out of habit instead of out of joy and reverence. I feel welcome at Mass - I do not necessarily have a personal connection with every parishioner, but I [i]can[/i] tell you that there are "regulars" who show up for the 12:15 every Sunday (like myself) so recognizing everyone as a community makes me comfortable in that sense. Furthermore, everyone is all smiles during the sign of peace so that is also nice. Back to people going out of habit - I had a very uncomfortable experience on Ash Wednesday (noon Mass). I had no problem focusing on the Eucharist but I got the unfriendly vibe from the (unrecognizable) people I was sitting by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 (edited) [quote name='bonkers' post='1796112' date='Mar 3 2009, 07:34 AM']Hell yeah!![/quote] [img]http://jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2007/11/lord1a.jpg[/img] After Morning Mass at Our Lady of Vehicular Combat. I think more protestants are made in Catholic Church parking lots than anywhere else. It's prevalent. Having not been to any other denomination, I'm not sure if it's common in all of Christendom. Edited March 3, 2009 by Winchester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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