Godson And His Mom Not Attending Mass -- What Now?

[Dave]

I have a close friend who returned to the Church a few years ago (she'd been a Catholic in name only for many, many years), and when she had her son baptized, she invited me to be her son's godfather, which I accepted (he was 4 at the time).

Recently she informed me that she and her son, who is about 10 years old now, have been attending a Methodist church. She says she has no plans to leave the Catholic Church and understands that non-Catholic churches don't fulfill her Sunday obligation. However, she says that she's made so many friends there and that the folks there are so friendly. She says that at no Catholic parish she's ever attended have people been friendly -- including the one she'd been attending until she switched to the Methodist church. Even worse, her son (my godson) says he LOVES this new church! Just for the record, I discovered at the same time he hasn't made his First Penance or Holy Communion! I guess it's because even after his mom's reversion, she still experienced crises of faith at times and didn't attend Mass for long periods of time. And then finally she'd go back to confession, start attending Mass again, fall away again for a while, etc. And so when she didn't go to Mass, he wasn't going either.

What do I say or do in this situation -- to my godson and/or his mother? I don't live close enough to take my godson to Mass with me.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
What had you been doing to help form your godson in the faith?

[Dave]

I've given him good Catholic books that teach the faith, and I know his mom has read them to him. Doesn't sound like much, I know. But since I live far from them, I'm quite limited in what I can do. But remember, it's really the PARENTS' responsibility to form their children in the faith. And like an idiot, I naively assumed that he was going to Sunday school/CCD, preparing for his First Communion, etc. I mean, he'd even said he wanted to be a priest when he grew up!

Now can we kindly get back to the topic of this thread?

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Dave' post='1795624' date='Mar 2 2009, 07:15 PM']I've given him good Catholic books that teach the faith, and I know his mom has read them to him. Doesn't sound like much, I know. But since I live far from them, I'm quite limited in what I can do. But remember, it's really the PARENTS' responsibility to form their children in the faith. And like an idiot, I naively assumed that he was going to Sunday school/CCD, preparing for his First Communion, etc. I mean, he'd even said he wanted to be a priest when he grew up!

Now can we kindly get back to the topic of this thread?[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
Dave, seriously, don't jump on me. you do this every time you post a thread asking for advice. I was simply asking. and i don't appreciate you telling me it's the parents' responsibility. i am both a parent and a godparent. and i know d[font="Book Antiqua"]amn[/font] full well what responsibilities lie with whom. if you don't want advice, don't fricking post a fricking thread about it.

that being said, i know how it feels to be a godparent to someone far away. there is simply not much you can do without being there (like taking them to Mass, Catholic outings, etc.). i'm in the same boat in that respect.

at this point, i'm not sure what you can do, being far away (they live in another state?). is there perhaps a different Catholic church in her area to attend? it's hard when someone is used to a protestant church where they do a lot of 'street' evangelizing (not sure that's the phrase i want to use) - where they evangelize by having social things for a community (especially a family). would she watch a video if you sent one to her? (i have a great one in mind, that's why i ask - it's called "Reflections on the Mass" and it's very well-done.)

anyway, i know you probably don't care, but i will pray for you and her and your godson. it's a hard situation made harder by distance.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Dave' post='1795624' date='Mar 2 2009, 09:15 PM']I've given him good Catholic books that teach the faith, and I know his mom has read them to him. Doesn't sound like much, I know. But since I live far from them, I'm quite limited in what I can do. But remember, it's really the PARENTS' responsibility to form their children in the faith. And like an idiot, I naively assumed that he was going to Sunday school/CCD, preparing for his First Communion, etc. I mean, he'd even said he wanted to be a priest when he grew up!

Now can we kindly get back to the topic of this thread?[/quote]
Actually, Dave, according to [url="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2K.HTM"]Canon 774 §2[/url], your responsibility as a godparent (the word used in the canon is "sponsor" but that is the same thing) is EQUAL to the parents' responsibility.

When you agree to be a godparent, under church law you are entering a very serious responsibility to care for the spiritual health and development of the child. It's not a responsibility that should be undertaken lightly.

That being said, I think ongoing evangelism through your relationship with your friend and this boy is the best way to go about it. There is still time for him to come to a mature understanding of the faith, and your friend as well.

Your most important tool here, as always, is prayer.

[Dave]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1795659' date='Mar 2 2009, 10:42 PM']+J.M.J.+
Dave, seriously, don't jump on me. you do this every time you post a thread asking for advice. I was simply asking. and i don't appreciate you telling me it's the parents' responsibility. i am both a parent and a godparent. and i know d[font="Book Antiqua"]amn[/font] full well what responsibilities lie with whom. if you don't want advice, don't fricking post a fricking thread about it.[/quote]


I did not jump on you. You CHOSE to interpret it that way. I do not jump on people every time I post a thread asking for advice. I admit I've done so occasionally in the past, but it's only because they're being a jerk. But like I said, I haven't jumped on anybody. Maybe I was a little impatient, and I apologize for that, but that's only because I'm rather desperate for an answer.

You, on the other hand, have jumped on me. Double standard.

Edited March 3, 2009 by Dave

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
what ever. God bless. I'll pray for you and your friend and your godson.

[Dave]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1795669' date='Mar 2 2009, 10:46 PM']Actually, Dave, according to [url="http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2K.HTM"]Canon 774 §2[/url], your responsibility as a godparent (the word used in the canon is "sponsor" but that is the same thing) is EQUAL to the parents' responsibility.

When you agree to be a godparent, under church law you are entering a very serious responsibility to care for the spiritual health and development of the child. It's not a responsibility that should be undertaken lightly.[/quote]

Actually, it starts off, "Parents above others are obliged ... ." So it really is the parents' responsibility more so than anyone else's. But don't get me wrong -- that doesn't mean the godparents' obligation is any less serious. And believe me, I take my role as a godparent seriously; otherwise, I wouldn't be posting about this dilemma. I mean, it's all the more important now that the boy's parents are falling down on the job -- I gotta pick up the slack as best I can.

Edited March 3, 2009 by Dave

[MIKolbe]

WOW.

I would offer an opinion and some advise, but I already got snapped at by my fair share of ungrateful people today. My punchcard is full.

Sorry.

prayers for the boy..he seems to be getting the worst end of the deal.

[Dave]

[quote name='MIkolbe' post='1795755' date='Mar 2 2009, 11:40 PM']WOW.

I would offer an opinion and some advise, but I already got snapped at by my fair share of ungrateful people today. My punchcard is full.[/quote]

Don't blame me; I haven't snapped at anyone.

[MIKolbe]

stay classy, dave.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Dave' post='1795624' date='Mar 2 2009, 10:15 PM']I've given him good Catholic books that teach the faith, and I know his mom has read them to him. Doesn't sound like much, I know. But since I live far from them, I'm quite limited in what I can do. But remember, it's really the PARENTS' responsibility to form their children in the faith. And like an idiot, I naively assumed that he was going to Sunday school/CCD, preparing for his First Communion, etc. I mean, he'd even said he wanted to be a priest when he grew up!

Now can we kindly get back to the topic of this thread?[/quote]
Your godson IS the topic of the thread, and Red's question is perfectly appropriate. If you don't tell us what you have done how can anyone be expected to give advice.

[homeschoolmom]

How could you not know that he'd not celebrated reconciliation or Eucharist? Did it not occur to you at the time to ask about it?

[Dave]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1795867' date='Mar 3 2009, 12:29 AM']How could you not know that he'd not celebrated reconciliation or Eucharist? Did it not occur to you at the time to ask about it?[/quote]

I assumed he was preparing for that -- it was about time for him to do so anyway.

Yes, I admit I was naive.

[rkwright]

Maybe Dave made a mistake... but that is behind us at this point.

Any thoughts on what to do now?

For me... I dunno, be kind call her... tell her you want to take a more active role in your godson's faith formation... see where that goes?