College Roomates, Catholicism, And You

[Christie_M]

Wow. Sorry to hear aboutthe situation you're in. But I"m glad you did talk to him about it.

[Hassan]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1787675' date='Feb 21 2009, 11:49 PM']I only dormed for one semester, at my first college. My roommate was a sweetheart, make no mistake, and I took her to be a pretty active Catholic (by "active" I mean attending prayer groups and whatnot). She began to date a boy who lived on the first floor, and I cannot count the times when I went into our room and they were both making out on the bed. Even if I lingered they did not get the point and rudely continued. Sometimes I would be alone in our room, they would come in, get on her bed, and start making out. I found that worse than my happening in on their "private time." I would just go next door and chill out with our neighbors. Over time, a lot of the girls on our floor complained to the RA because the boyfriend spent a weekend in our room (I was at home, thank goodness). I believe our RA said something to her about it, because from that point on my roommate would spend the night down in HIS room. His roommate did not appreciate it but let it be.[/quote]


yeah, some people are like that. Just no self control.

Next time try a fire extinguisher

[img]http://www.sundevilfire.com/images/fire_extinguisher_spray.gif[/img]

[FiereMargriet]

These situations are EXACTLY why I am wary of attending a secular American school. I have the chance to go to a European school and live in an all-girls house affiliated with Opus Dei, and just when I am leaning toward staying home in America, I hear stories like these and long for the privacy and faithful atmosphere the student house would give me Prayers for everyone dealing with such awkward situations.

[tinytherese]

With these situations though one hopefully can grow and mature.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='eagle_eye222001' post='1787649' date='Feb 21 2009, 11:31 PM']People rarely really listen to others viewpoints on religion and politics.[/quote]

Respectful people listen. Dorms aren't known for breeding a lot of respect for one another, especially among the younger half of college students.

[MissyP89]

[quote name='BG45' post='1787633' date='Feb 21 2009, 10:21 PM']I had a "Catholic" RA I roomed with for two years, Missy can tell all sorts of stories about being on the other end of the phone with me living with him. He had frequent sex with condoms with his "Catholic" girlfriend on her birth control pills all the time in our suite. I once was watching Mass for Life in D.C. and had to turn up the volume to drown them out.[/quote]


Yes...

[quote name='eagle_eye']Also my bed ends where his begins. So I am fairly close to this girl. wacko.gif really, really awkward Also, where my desk his, his bed is right behind me. Still can't just ignore it. It's not that I walk around without a shirt or anything, it's just the idea that a girl is all of sudden taking up residence in a room that I am paying for and share without asking my permission.[/quote]

To reference my other half's post above, at least you haven't walked out to use your bathroom to find your RA's girlfriend, completely naked, waiting outside the door to get a shower. Be glad!

[Oliver]

Good on you for talking to him. That took guts. I dont anyone on my floor (about 40 people) thats catholic or even christian so thats pretty cool you got friends who are the same faith. Just a shame they dont really follow it.

And sorry about the saying you were at a catholic uni, i kind of just presumed since you said he was catholic too.

[cmotherofpirl]

I am so glad I am old, because I would never stand for anybody sleeping over in my room unless they were a paying roommate.

[Mari Therese]

Just try to stick it out and leave it as a bad memory behind you. It smells of elderberries so much when people are so immature. Try talking to them rationally about rules with regards to overnight visistors. If that doesn't work them ask the dude to leave, if he refuses, call the campus police for trespassing on your property

Edited February 22, 2009 by Mari Therese

[tinytherese]

[quote name='FiereMargriet' post='1787733' date='Feb 21 2009, 11:26 PM']These situations are EXACTLY why I am wary of attending a secular American school. I have the chance to go to a European school and live in an all-girls house affiliated with Opus Dei, and just when I am leaning toward staying home in America, I hear stories like these and long for the privacy and faithful atmosphere the student house would give me Prayers for everyone dealing with such awkward situations.[/quote]

I see situations like these as I time to grow in one's faith and even to evangelize. I'd suggest not going to a party school but one that you feel comfortable at. At overnight visits at colleges you can get a better feel of the campus, get to observe the people and social life, and ask those who are not specifically ambassadors or representatives of the school what they really think of the place. You can also get involved at your Newman Center of F.O.C.U.S. group if you have either of them. You can even volunteer at a catholic church of the town of your school with c.c.d., RCIA, youth group, eucharistic ministry, lector, etc. Most parishes would be happy for the help.

[eagle_eye222001]

[quote name='MissyP89' post='1787879' date='Feb 22 2009, 01:22 AM']Yes...



To reference my other half's post above, at least you haven't walked out to use your bathroom to find your RA's girlfriend, completely naked, waiting outside the door to get a shower. Be glad! [/quote]

*awkward......*

[quote name='Oliver' post='1788068' date='Feb 22 2009, 05:36 AM']Good on you for talking to him. That took guts. I dont anyone on my floor (about 40 people) thats catholic or even christian so thats pretty cool you got friends who are the same faith. Just a shame they dont really follow it.

And sorry about the saying you were at a catholic uni, i kind of just presumed since you said he was catholic too.[/quote]

Don't worry about it. No offense taken at all.

[quote name='Mari Therese' post='1788240' date='Feb 22 2009, 12:46 PM']Just try to stick it out and leave it as a bad memory behind you. It smells of elderberries so much when people are so immature. Try talking to them rationally about rules with regards to overnight visistors. If that doesn't work them ask the dude to leave, if he refuses, call the campus police for trespassing on your property [/quote]

Well, it wasn't like his gf comes over a lot. Actually that's the third time this semester she's been over.....it was just this time it was a "sleepover." Also, he got the message as I overheard him talking about having to consult his roommates for overnight visitors so I don't think he is going to be defiant in my declarations. We have talked civily since the face-off so I don't think he is going to really do anything. I knew there is always the possibility of retaliation but all signs seem to point that he is moving on so it appears to be resolved at this point fortunately.

[quote name='tinytherese' post='1789812' date='Feb 23 2009, 10:04 PM']I see situations like these as I time to grow in one's faith and even to evangelize. I'd suggest not going to a party school but one that you feel comfortable at. At overnight visits at colleges you can get a better feel of the campus, get to observe the people and social life, and ask those who are not specifically ambassadors or representatives of the school what they really think of the place. You can also get involved at your Newman Center of F.O.C.U.S. group if you have either of them. You can even volunteer at a catholic church of the town of your school with c.c.d., RCIA, youth group, eucharistic ministry, lector, etc. Most parishes would be happy for the help.[/quote]

The university I am at has a Newman Center which I am active in and even though it is a public university, there is a core group of dedicated Catholics who are active at the center. And at mass on Wednesday night, we get about 40-50 people......which considering the times, I think is pretty good. Still sad when you realize that there are probably 1000 Catholics on campus and only a about a 150 attend weekly mass.

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Listening to: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/harry+gregson-williams/track/the+stone+table"]Harry Gregson-Williams - The Stone Table[/url]
via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url]

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='eagle_eye222001' post='1789824' date='Feb 23 2009, 11:14 PM']Still sad when you realize that there are probably 1000 Catholics on campus and only a about a 150 attend weekly mass. [/quote]

A lot of them probably go to mass somewhere off campus. Still, that doesn't sound much different that what I'd expect among Protestants. Commuter schools are especially difficult places to get students involved... not sure if that's the case there.

[Theoketos]

Say exactly this

"Listen, I need you not to have her spend the night when I am here. Also, I need you to be less intimate in my personal space."

[CatherineM]

I did have a roommate in a rented house one year who had her boyfriend stay over a couple of times. I am embarrassed to admit that I handled it with blue grass music played quite loudly. I know it would have been better to do the whole confront and talk it out thing, but this seemed to work pretty well, especially with me singing at the top of my lungs.

The worst ever, was when my oldest foster son's dad moved to Florida to try to be closer to his son, and potentially work on their relationship. He didn't have anywhere to stay at first, so we let him stay over. One morning, while half asleep, I found a strange man in my kitchen. He had brought a companion back from a gay bar with him. I kicked him out, and got new couches.

[eagle_eye222001]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1790320' date='Feb 24 2009, 11:03 AM']A lot of them probably go to mass somewhere off campus. Still, that doesn't sound much different that what I'd expect among Protestants. Commuter schools are especially difficult places to get students involved... not sure if that's the case there.[/quote]

Only Catholic Church in town. 4 Masses each weekend. I am familiar with the average attendance of 3 of them. I doubt I'll find the other 850 at the other mass. At most, the Saturday could reasonably get 150 college students. However, the popularized "student mass" is Sunday at 7 PM. Still the numbers don't say a lot.

[quote name='Theoketos' post='1790380' date='Feb 24 2009, 01:15 PM']Say exactly this

"Listen, I need you not to have her spend the night when I am here. Also, I need you to be less intimate in my personal space."[/quote]

Good advice.

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1790519' date='Feb 24 2009, 04:21 PM']I did have a roommate in a rented house one year who had her boyfriend stay over a couple of times. I am embarrassed to admit that I handled it with blue grass music played quite loudly. I know it would have been better to do the whole confront and talk it out thing, but this seemed to work pretty well, especially with me singing at the top of my lungs.

The worst ever, was when my oldest foster son's dad moved to Florida to try to be closer to his son, and potentially work on their relationship. He didn't have anywhere to stay at first, so we let him stay over. One morning, while half asleep, I found a strange man in my kitchen. He had brought a companion back from a gay bar with him. I kicked him out, and got new couches.[/quote]



Really rude surprise.