Confusion

[FiereMargriet]

[quote name='Carmelitess' post='1791771' date='Feb 26 2009, 02:22 AM']Hi, FiereMargriet,

I hope it went well yesterday with your spiritual director. I'm so glad my post helped you! Food for thought is always good.

I'll keep praying for you, especially about the more immediate decision of choosing between the two schools. Btw, I'm a bit confused---is the guy in Belgium or New Jersey?

God bless,

Margaret[/quote]

I finally was able to talk to my spiritual director via Skype. It helped me so much. A big plus of going to Belgium is that I'd be able to receive regular direction from him. I thought he was going to point out one school over the other, but instead he said, "In dubio, pro libertade" (spelling?) which means in Latin, "When in doubt, choose liberty"--basically saying choose what feels best for you but make up your mind on SOMETHING, because there is no freedom if you do not work to determine your destiny. He gave me a lot to think about re: being away from my family as well.

The guy is in New Jersey. Everyone I know in real life says I should make a move and ask him out, but I don't know if that would be pertinent at the moment. We'll see.

Much thanks for your help and prayers. I will pray for the intentions of everyone on the phorum as well

[Thomist-in-Training]

[quote name='FiereMargriet' post='1784345' date='Feb 18 2009, 09:39 AM']Lastly, you may remember my college dilemma--expensive American secular school near family vs. cheap European Catholic school. I visited one of the American schools in question yesterday and liked it a lot, but it is also where the aforementioned guy is a student and I feel like two factions are tugging at me--that one of wordliness and temporal happiness with family and this guy, and a selfless journey away from family back to Europe where I can finish school with [b]minimal debt in case I am meant to be a nun. [/b][/quote]

I read a phrase somewhere that has never left my mind: "Debt, the vocation killer." I don't think it was totally literal, but it can cause big problems and it really is something to consider. Of course sometimes people get it "taken care of" with minimal difficulty by means of generous donors, but this isn't really something to plan on.

In fact, even for a layperson debt isn't really a thrilling way to start your life. My parents both went to graduate school and married with tons of debt. They really regret having racked it up, and have recommended to me and my siblings over and over "DON'T take loans." But I am not really sure, I don't really understand what situation you're in with your family etc. and whether you anticipate, if remaining a laywoman, getting some kind of lucrative job with the American degree, or just something rather middling until you get married.