Confusion

[FiereMargriet]

+
J.M.J.T.

Please forgive me this rambling post...but I am confused over a great many things lately.

First, I am going to visit a monastery tomorrow. I can't seem to locate my ankle-length skirt and even then it does not fit that well. My other skirts are around knee-length, some a little longer. Are these or nice, modest (not tight-fitting) jeans acceptable?

Second--this will sound very blunt and strange, and I don't feel like going into too much detail--but last year I was greatly attracted to a young man. We never officially "went out," and throughout the spring of 2008 I felt more and more attracted to the religious life. When I was abroad in the fall, the religious life seemed like it was where God really and truly wanted me. Now that I'm back home and I've seen this guy a bit more, I'm feeling attracted to marriage again. I know most people will give me wise advice in that (a) I'm only 18 and (b) it's not that smart to date while you're discerning a religious vocation. However, [i]because[/i] I'm 18 and wouldn't be ready to enter anywhere anytime soon, I feel now is the time to explore both options--dating and visiting convents. My spiritual director continually emphasized this to me whenever I was getting a little too fixated on how, when and where I was going to enter a community.

I know I need to take it slow, and I'm trying to do that. I also know it's a good sign for either vocation if you want to get married and have a family. But I was wondering how my fellow phatmassers deal/dealt with this sort of dilemma, when both options in all their glory and beauty and pain present themselves. I feel like [i]I[/i] want to get married and [i]God[/i] wants me in the convent, but as I said, I'm really not sure.

Lastly, you may remember my college dilemma--expensive American secular school near family vs. cheap European Catholic school. I visited one of the American schools in question yesterday and liked it a lot, but it is also where the aforementioned guy is a student and I feel like two factions are tugging at me--that one of wordliness and temporal happiness with family and this guy, and a selfless journey away from family back to Europe where I can finish school with minimal debt in case I am meant to be a nun.

So, in short, I feel very strange and I don't know what to do!

Also, fair warning, I'm a little bit sensitive, so if you want to give me a "reality check" please keep it constructive; otherwise I don't know if the wisdom contained therein will reach me. But I really do respect the opinions of all the people whom I have met thus far, otherwise I wouldn't be asking for them again!

[Gemma]

[quote name='FiereMargriet' post='1784345' date='Feb 18 2009, 10:39 AM']+
J.M.J.T.

Please forgive me this rambling post...but I am confused over a great many things lately.

First, I am going to visit a monastery tomorrow. I can't seem to locate my ankle-length skirt and even then it does not fit that well. My other skirts are around knee-length, some a little longer. Are these or nice, modest (not tight-fitting) jeans acceptable?

Second--this will sound very blunt and strange, and I don't feel like going into too much detail--but last year I was greatly attracted to a young man. We never officially "went out," and throughout the spring of 2008 I felt more and more attracted to the religious life. When I was abroad in the fall, the religious life seemed like it was where God really and truly wanted me. Now that I'm back home and I've seen this guy a bit more, I'm feeling attracted to marriage again. I know most people will give me wise advice in that (a) I'm only 18 and (b) it's not that smart to date while you're discerning a religious vocation. However, [i]because[/i] I'm 18 and wouldn't be ready to enter anywhere anytime soon, I feel now is the time to explore both options--dating and visiting convents. My spiritual director continually emphasized this to me whenever I was getting a little too fixated on how, when and where I was going to enter a community.

I know I need to take it slow, and I'm trying to do that. I also know it's a good sign for either vocation if you want to get married and have a family. But I was wondering how my fellow phatmassers deal/dealt with this sort of dilemma, when both options in all their glory and beauty and pain present themselves. I feel like [i]I[/i] want to get married and [i]God[/i] wants me in the convent, but as I said, I'm really not sure.

Lastly, you may remember my college dilemma--expensive American secular school near family vs. cheap European Catholic school. I visited one of the American schools in question yesterday and liked it a lot, but it is also where the aforementioned guy is a student and I feel like two factions are tugging at me--that one of wordliness and temporal happiness with family and this guy, and a selfless journey away from family back to Europe where I can finish school with minimal debt in case I am meant to be a nun.

So, in short, I feel very strange and I don't know what to do!

Also, fair warning, I'm a little bit sensitive, so if you want to give me a "reality check" please keep it constructive; otherwise I don't know if the wisdom contained therein will reach me. But I really do respect the opinions of all the people whom I have met thus far, otherwise I wouldn't be asking for them again![/quote]

Concerning the attire -- may be more prudent to call the monastery and ask for clarification. Each place is different.

The young man -- have you even met him? Or just attracted to him from afar? Clue for young ladies--if a man is truly interested in you, he will annoy the heck out of you by hovering. Let the men do the chasing. Ignoring them will help to prove their intentions.

Like I've said here before--marriage has no novitiate. I've always advised discerners to get as one-on-one with God as they can in their present circumstances, and leave dating for the time being. You can always go back to dating if you discern that you really are not called to religious life.

The Holy Ghost works on attraction, and grace builds on nature. Please keep that in mind. Visiting monasteries and convents is the only way to figure out where you're supposed to be. One of my former spiritual directors told me that he knew he was at the right place when he stepped onto his seminary grounds. Had I been faithful to grace in college, I would have attempted entrance to a monastery which is now closed. I visited the monastery the weekend that they were officially suppressed, and realized that yes, I did have the calling to that community. The former superior from that time and I still keep in touch.

Marriage and religious life--could be that you have a calling to be a Third Order member, or a member of a lay association of the faithful which may or may not wear a habit.

College--make a list of pros and cons. If you think your attraction to the young man at one college might be influencing your decision, then take that into consideration. Will you be able to keep your mind on your studies? How truly Catholic is the Catholic college?

HTH. And hope I've been clear enough.

Blessings,
Gemma

[TradMom]

+Praised be Jesus Christ!

Yes, dear, Gemma is right. Each monastery is different. It might be more of an issue if you are going inside the cloister. I am going to pray about your other questions and answer you after more thought.

In the meantime, may Jesus bring you peace!

TradMom

[AccountDeleted]

FiereMargriet
First, the whole pants issue depends on the particular monastery, so phoning for advice is a good idea. The other option is to run down to a local second hand shop to see if you can find a long skirt (it doesn't have to go to the ground, just below the knees) - if that will make you feel more comfortable.

As for the dating issue, all I can advise here is extreme caution. God never forces His will upon us, so we need to be very attentive to His voice. If you are feeling any kind of call to religious life, the best thing for you to do at this point in time is to spend a lot of time in prayer and contemplation, allowing Him to speak to your heart. If you want to socialize, do it with groups of friends for now. If a true friendship develops with this other person, then you can start to think about something more long term but physical attraction and passion are [u]not [/u] true love. Friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship and any other relationship with this person is just a fantasy right now.

Now I am going to say something that MIGHT sound like I am being insensitive, but I don't intend it to be that way, and I am open to any and all correction here by others. I think perhaps my own experiences have colored my view of things too, since I DIDN'T answer God's call when I was younger (and regret this). BUT, having said all this disclaimer stuff....

Try to imagine that God sends His angel to you and asks you to give birth to His Son -- what do you say? We all know the fiat that Our Blessed Mother made, but how many of us are that open to the will of God? Here is just my version of a modern scenario... God asks the same thing of you that He asked of the Virgin Mary... and you respond...

[i]"Oh, yes, God, I really would love to do that for You, but I am not sure if that is what You are really asking me to do, and I don't think I will be sure unless I first try out a few others things. I mean, perhaps you really want me to go ahead and marry Joseph and have children with him, and I was also thinking that if he makes enough money as a carpenter, perhaps we could move to someplace bigger, like Jerusalem, where I could get better clothes, and the kids would have a better chance at getting some education from the rabbis... and well, You know, Lord, then our kids could really do some service for you in the temple and well, I just can't be sure that it is really You asking me to do this, after all. How do I know this angel isn't just a figment of my imagination or the evil one trying to confuse me? And You know what the neighbors will think about me and what I will have to go through - it really isn't fair of You to ask this of me right now and I know you are a God of love, so why would you ask this of me? But You know I really want to do Your will - but not this and not right now, please!"[/i]

We all know that isn't the way it happened. Our Lady said yes to God, and we were all saved through Jesus because of her yes.

But for most of us today, we can't just say yes. We need assurances and reassurances and signs and proof that God is really calling us. Sometimes I think that even if an angel appeared and told us we were called to religious life, we would still hesitate.

Even when we finally accept His call, then starts all the "discerning" - one convent after another because they just don't "feel right". Did St Therese visit ten convents before entering? Or did she say "Wow, these nuns are crazy here, I don't think this is the right place for me. I had better try a few others until I find the one that feels right to me."? No, of course not. She said, "yes" to God and kept her promise.

Now, we aren't all St Therese (at least I know that I am not), and I compare myself a bit more to her sister, Leonie, who did enter and leave both the Poor Clares and the Visitation several times, before finally settling, and I pray that, like her, I can finally enter and stay faithful until death. The point I am trying to make, is that we need to try to look a little bit beyond just our own personal satisfaction, and more towards the self-giving that God is asking of us when He calls us in love.

Of course, I am talking to myself mainly here, but I see you at age 18, being offered the gift of a vocation -- and all I can say is that you are very blessed and I hope you are able to respond to Him.

Having said all that, I also know that God wants your decision to be one of free will, based on love for Him, and not on fear of making the wrong decision or of guilt. But I personally hope you don't give up the gift He is offering right now for something that may never happen (a relationship with this other person). My prayers are with you, whatever you decide to do.

[alicemary]

AS long as you arent showing alot of skin, you should be safe with a decent, non hole-y pair of jeans. Most communities are very aware of the fashions of the times, and doubt you would shock anyone. I always feel you should be yourself anyway, go with what is respectful, but reflective of the gal you are.
You are 18 and it is normal to explore all your options. That is why alot of communities want woman to finish college or have work experience. You need time to grow and search out all walks of life. During this time you should be also be building up your prayer life and relationship with Jesus. Just take it easy and get into college and develop an active social as well as prayer life.
Good Luck!!
Alicemary

[Luigi]

How to dress in a convent? I have no idea, but the advice from Gemma, Nunsense, and alicemary seems solid.

You mention "that [life] of wordliness and temporal happiness with family and this guy, and a selfless journey away from family" ... I'm not sure I agree with your distinction here. Life with family is not always easy; you and the guy may or may not be happy if and when you get to know each other. Some people would not call a "journey away from family" selfless either - some college students can't wait to get out on their own. And about the guy - keep in mind that half the people in the WORLD are guys - there will be guys at (or near) the European college, too. You might even feel attracted to some of them!

Picking up on Gemma's suggestion of pros & cons.... Cost is always a consideration, but it's not the only criterion for choosing a college:
1. Does one college offer the degree you want, and the other offer one that's only close? Choose the college that offers the degree you want - if you enter an order later, you will be able to put your education to use for the order, and if you decide not to enter an order, you will have the education you need to support yourself.
2. Will you be lonely in Europe? Too lonely to learn, as Gemma mentioned? Or will it be a good chance to learn independence & self-direction?
3. Do you know the language of the European country well enough to succeed in your classes?
4. If you get the European degree and then want to continue your education in the US, will the degree transfer & be accepted?
5. Are there other advantages to one school or the other? If you're in Europe, it's fairly easy to take side trips to other countries during breaks & so forth - great cultural & religious opportunities there. If the American college is known as a party capital and you have little interest in that, it might push you toward Europe. On the other hand, if the American college has a strong Newman Center, with lots of opportunities for service & volunteer hours or something, then ... Do you have friends or relatives at the American college? They might be able to walk you through the administrative systems and help you plan your education... If you've been to Europe & like it, returning there for college might be your last & best opportunity... and a well-traveled nun is just as valuable to her order as one who not traveled.

These are only some of the considerations, of course - you know yourself better than we do, and what's important to you. When you're trying to untie a knot, you have to keep pulling at the strings to make it bigger. When you're trying to solve a problem or make a decision, you have keep expanding your view of it (pulling the strings) until you have enough information.

BTW, what kind of timeline are you on for making this decision?

Edited February 19, 2009 by Luigi

[Carmelitess]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1784837' date='Feb 18 2009, 07:47 PM']AS long as you arent showing alot of skin, you should be safe with a decent, non hole-y pair of jeans. Most communities are very aware of the fashions of the times, and doubt you would shock anyone. I always feel you should be yourself anyway, go with what is respectful, but reflective of the gal you are.
You are 18 and it is normal to explore all your options. That is why alot of communities want woman to finish college or have work experience. You need time to grow and search out all walks of life. During this time you should be also be building up your prayer life and relationship with Jesus. Just take it easy and get into college and develop an active social as well as prayer life.
Good Luck!!
Alicemary[/quote]


That was great advice, Alice Mary, and I agree completely with what you wrote!

FiereMargriet, here is a P.M. that I wrote to a girl's P.M to me sometime last year. I am still ill, and am unable to write a fresh reply to your very well-expressed post. So, here is my letter with a post script addendum specifically for you:


Hi,

I'm sorry I didn't get back to you right away. I have a chronic illness, and there are times when I am unable to write, or to write something even somewhat coherent!

You were right when you said that you have plenty of time to figure out what mode of life God is calling you to. Try not to be too sure that He is asking you to become a sister or nun. I once I assumed I was, and I turned out to be wrong.

Since you shared your story with me, I thought I might share mine with you. It might help you to hear the vocation experience of a girl your age. I'll be 20 in November.

Back in July of '06 God gave me a powerful experience for an entire month. I can't adequately describe to you how I felt during that time, but I will try. I felt His love for me and mine for Him in such a palpable way, and I was like a different person. It was too intense and spiritual to explain properly in this letter, but suffice it to say that it was completely amazing. People could tell that there was a peace and a difference in me. I felt complete, joyful, and head over heels in love with Jesus, and I felt His totally powerful, sometimes overwhelming and consuming love for me in return.

From this experience I acquired a longing, a hunger for Jesus. I wanted to devote my life to Him, and feel His love for me. The religious life seemed like the only logical course for me to take, so I started looking into it. I was greatly attracted to the closeness that some nuns have with Jesus. I thought that God might be beckoning me to Carmel---contemplative Carmel---so I wrote to a Carmelite monastery in this country. The prioress was lovely, and she agreed to answer a very long list of questions I had about the rigors of Carmelite life.

To make a long story short, after much prayer and discernment, I realized that God had not designed me for the religious life, but to become a good Christian wife and mother. Despite my wonderful relationship with Jesus, I was not cut out for religious life, and He didn't want me to become a religious.

For awhile I felt disillusioned. I wondered what the meaning had been of my precious month of July, if it wasn't to call me to become His bride. Eventually I realized that Jesus desired me to be very close with Him, and that was the sole purpose of what had transpired in July. Through my search to become a nun, I grew closer to Him because I worked extra hard on my relationship with Him. That was the blessing that came out of my vocation journey of over a year. I am grateful to say that my relationship with Jesus has deepened since then, and my July experience was what set things in motion.

So, I don't know what God's plan is for your life, but whatever you decide He has in store for you in the future, use this time to grow closer to Him. Also, keep in mind that there are many married people who believed they were called to religious life, and then realized that Jesus wanted them to have a holy married life and raise Godly children. The majority of people are called to live the life of sacrifice and holiness in marriage. In a certain sense, that is a more difficult vocation than religious life, because a married person is out in the world and trying to live a Godly life while in a close bond with another human being.

I hope that I've given you some ideas. I will pray for you. Don't worry, God will show you, in good time, what he desires for you.

Your sister in Christ,

Margaret

P.S. I understand your desire to keep things private---we are online, after all!---but it's a bit hard to give advice to you about the guy you mentioned since you didn't provide much information about him. So, I'll just say that, unless you are in a serious relationship with him, it would be prudent to go to whatever college suits you best: don't go to his school merely because he is there. Of course, if you like that school better than the one abroad, attend there, and perhaps something will blossom with the guy. Who knows?

[tinytherese]

Whoa Carmelitess! Your story seems eerily similar to mine, just without the dark night of the soul going on.

[FiereMargriet]

Thank you everyone for the kind and VERY wise responses! You have given me so much to think about and I am so sorry it has taken me this long to respond.

Firstly, I found an old denim jumper of my mom's which really worked well for the monastery--comfortable and modest. And my visit really helped me. It was the first place I felt that "wow" factor, as in--this is such a beautiful and warm place inside and out, I could really see myself here. (And the Novice Mistress was so funny and kind, and gave me good advice about college.) However, doubts are still plauging me about the validity of my maybe-vocation. I'm trying to make arrangements to phone my Belgian spiritual director next week, since I really miss his advice.

I have this thread open in another window so I can glean quotes from it and then answer...

[quote]The young man -- have you even met him? Or just attracted to him from afar? Clue for young ladies--if a man is truly interested in you, he will annoy the heck out of you by hovering. Let the men do the chasing. Ignoring them will help to prove their intentions.[/quote]

Yes, I've met him, and we're actually in a situation when we're thrown together quite a lot. When I last saw him he was very taciturn, so the idea that HE would be the one hovering depressed me a little, since I couldn't imagine him doing so. Yet last time I saw him I did try to ignore him, and--dare I say it?--he seemed a bit more enthusiastic about talking to me. However, new circumstances have arisen which may make it difficult to see him, so I'll just have entrust this part to St. Dwynwen. (I always say that, but I don't think I trust enough. )

[quote]Will you be able to keep your mind on your studies? How truly Catholic is the Catholic college?[/quote]

I am worried about homesickness in Europe interfering with my ability to study, as well as, yes, my attraction to this guy. So that's a point away from either college. The Catholic school in question is the Catholic University of Leuven, Belgium so yes, they have an excellent theology program. Many of the students probably aren't [i]that[/i] practicing, but the student house I want to live in is associated with Opus Dei and is all-girls, so I don't have to worry there. (I am worried about finding a "virtuous" dorm--all girls, substance-free--in an American school.)

[quote]But for most of us today, we can't just say yes. We need assurances and reassurances and signs and proof that God is really calling us. Sometimes I think that even if an angel appeared and told us we were called to religious life, we would still hesitate.[/quote]

Thank you, TradMom, for your wonderful assurances, and thank you, Nunsense, for the above helpful post. That really got me thinking that I don't want to be scared and run from God when He is giving me such a lovely gift. But I am still so scared! Yesterday in Church I heard the Gospel about "Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." I guess that points toward Belgium. But I can't stop thinking what if--what if I'm miserable, what if I AM called to marriage, what if I can't keep up with the studying or I get bored with the fact that they really only study one thing? (They don't really have electives.) And what if a European theology degree does me no good career-wise? I know these are all very temporal and selfish worries, but it seems like every time I feel I MUST go to Belgium, someone tells me I can be just as holy going to an American school, and I feel like that's where I really want to be--near my family. Not to mention the fact my sister is pretty much going to kill me if I leave her again.

(If someone told me two years ago I would be giving up the chance to study in Europe for the chance to go to a state school near my family, I would have thought them crazy!)

[quote]You are 18 and it is normal to explore all your options. That is why alot of communities want woman to finish college or have work experience. You need time to grow and search out all walks of life. During this time you should be also be building up your prayer life and relationship with Jesus. Just take it easy and get into college and develop an active social as well as prayer life.[/quote]

Yes, these are all the reasons that spring into my mind in defense of an American school. (You mention work experience--I have a great part-time job here and it would be hard to get a job in Belgium, since I'm not fluent in Flemish.) Plus, when I was in Europe I always had to wait to visit the American convents I was interested in--in America I can take a more active role in my discernment. (Especially now that I have found this nice monastery.) At the same time, there is that little voice saying, "You have everything, why do you need anything else besides Jesus?"

I have to abandon the computer now, but rest assured I will respond later to the other posts. You all have been so much help and I thank you for taking the time to respond to my problem. Please keep me in your prayers as I struggle with this decision.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='FiereMargriet' post='1787269' date='Feb 21 2009, 09:09 AM']But I can't stop thinking what if--what if I'm miserable, what if I AM called to marriage, what if I can't keep up with the studying or I get bored with the fact that they really only study one thing? (They don't really have electives.) And what if a European theology degree does me no good career-wise?[/quote]

And what if the sun doesn't rise tomorrow, or the moon falls or the world ends, or what about a million and one other things that could happen?

Take a deep breathe and relax! There are no guarantees in this life about our decisions - and there is no need for guarantees either. We are meant to learn from our mistakes as well as from our successes. As long as you keep your love for Jesus in your heart and sincerely try to do all that God commands (love Him and love your neighbor), remain faithful to His Church, then you can trust in His loving guidance and support. Blessed is the one who is chastised by God because the "hand that hurts is also the hand that heals".

Sure, it is good to listen to advice and to discern as carefully as possible, but in the end, only God knows what the future holds. Take it one step at a time, in faith, in love, and in prayer. We are all praying for you too

God is joy too!

[alicemary]

If you dont want to go overseas to college, then dont go! If you want to stay near your family, then by all means, do so. You are putting so much pressure on yourself that does not need to be there. Just chill out and find out what would make you happy and would be best for you. You could study for a year or two close to home, and possibly later go to Europe. Or not.
Give yourself some space and more importantly time. Listen to your heart. You know yourself and what you want to do. Sometimes the best decision is not to make a decision. Good Luck!!
Alicemary

[FiereMargriet]

Once again, thank you everyone for your very kind words and I am sorry it took me so long to reply. A very wise nun told me to be honest with myself about what I really want and what God really wants of me--it's just that every time I decide on America, I read one of the Scripture passages that talks about leaving one's family for God, and I feel like I am bending His will to fit mine. Still, I have some time yet--until May 1. I am going to call my spiritual director this afternoon and hopefully get some advice from him.

Carmelitess, your advice is very helpful. I've been thinking, if this guy were NOT in the picture, I would probably go to his school because I would feel less like it was a near occasion of sin. (I can be a bit scrupulous--I know just liking a guy, or even dating and kissing him, isn't a sin, but I'm also worried about making this decision with the idea in my mind that it will lead to a romantic relationship.) So that's a big point in favor of the American school. I am worried about dorms, though--there's a thread on Open Mic about the sort of things that can happen with that. The living arrangements are a big plus for Belgium.

I'm going to try and pray a lot over it this Lent. And it's true I may be called to marriage. I guess this is really the time of keeping my options open. I'm just not sure which place is the best one to discern.

[FiereMargriet]

Thank you for this helpful criteria. I hope no one minds if I answer it right here...helps me think.

1. They both offer the degree I want, except the American school (I'm sick of typing that and it might help if people know what school I'm talking about--it's Rutgers in NJ) has a wider variety of majors in case I change my mind.
2. Yes, probably, but the student house will be a great help in keeping me occupied.
3. My program will be taught in English, and I know enough Dutch to get by in everyday life.
4. Not sure about this one. My mom's a teacher and I asked her to ask one of her colleagues, who said I should get an American masters and then it should be okay for teaching certification. Something to consider, though.
5. This is where it gets difficult. I have been feeling called to the cloistered life again with my visit to this monastery, so it would be wonderful to travel before I enter, if I do. However, it would also be great to spend lots of time with my family. As I said above, I need to decide by May 1 (at least for the American schools; I don't know if Belgium will want to know sooner).

The knot analogy is very interesting and helpful. Please keep me in your prayers and I will keep you all updated. And if anyone knows anything about Rutgers (especially New Brunswick) or University of Michigan (the other US school I got into, looking less and less likely because of the price), please let me know, either here or via PM, the good and/or the bad.

[Carmelitess]

[quote name='tinytherese' post='1786756' date='Feb 20 2009, 09:44 PM']Whoa Carmelitess! Your story seems eerily similar to mine, just without the dark night of the soul going on.[/quote]


That's so cool! If you feel like sharing sometime, I'd love to hear your story in a P.M.

[Carmelitess]

[quote name='FiereMargriet' post='1791263' date='Feb 25 2009, 10:35 AM']Once again, thank you everyone for your very kind words and I am sorry it took me so long to reply. A very wise nun told me to be honest with myself about what I really want and what God really wants of me--it's just that every time I decide on America, I read one of the Scripture passages that talks about leaving one's family for God, and I feel like I am bending His will to fit mine. Still, I have some time yet--until May 1. I am going to call my spiritual director this afternoon and hopefully get some advice from him.

Carmelitess, your advice is very helpful. I've been thinking, if this guy were NOT in the picture, I would probably go to his school because I would feel less like it was a near occasion of sin. (I can be a bit scrupulous--I know just liking a guy, or even dating and kissing him, isn't a sin, but I'm also worried about making this decision with the idea in my mind that it will lead to a romantic relationship.) So that's a big point in favor of the American school. I am worried about dorms, though--there's a thread on Open Mic about the sort of things that can happen with that. The living arrangements are a big plus for Belgium.

I'm going to try and pray a lot over it this Lent. And it's true I may be called to marriage. I guess this is really the time of keeping my options open. I'm just not sure which place is the best one to discern.[/quote]


Hi, FiereMargriet,

I hope it went well yesterday with your spiritual director. I'm so glad my post helped you! Food for thought is always good.

I'll keep praying for you, especially about the more immediate decision of choosing between the two schools. Btw, I'm a bit confused---is the guy in Belgium or New Jersey?

God bless,

Margaret