whatsup Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='dominicansoul' post='1783005' date='Feb 16 2009, 09:55 PM']God does.... ...that's all that matters.... ...if you were going to a social club, than, i could see why you would be upset.....[/quote] I just can't go it alone anymore. It hurts way too bad to be rejected in the house of god. atleast at daily mass people don't sit next to me and ignore me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I went to daily Mass for a good year before anyone started to say hello to me going in or out of the church. I remember the first day I went-I was 16 and I walked in and everyone seemed to look at me all at once, as if I was some creature from another planet. I was terrified I would sit in the wrong place etc. But I kept going, found my own wee seat, and now I'm like a part of the furniture. Don't be put off by the apparent carelessness of others. I'm sure they really aren't thinking what you think they are. Keep going for the love of God because that is more important than anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Don't worry about anyone acknowledging your existence. It is actually a blessing to be ignored. Mass isn't a social club - we are there to worship God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Yet, for the love of God, we were created as social creatures. We all understand that it's inappropriate to socialize in a setting of prayer. That's common sense. But outside of that setting, we should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 That is what the parish hall is for. Not even the narthex is, in its proper meaning, for socializing. It's important for converts such as myself to understand this because we are used to a socially structured worship where everyone is immediately greeted and befriended the moment we walk into a fundamentalist church. When we walk into a Catholic Church and there is no one there to greet us its a culture shock. That is why I wish the office of Ostiarius was never abolished, it was the proper place of this person to greet and offer counsel to people who came to church before they entered the building. And yes, absolutely, go to daily Mass even if you can't stay the whole time. I just completed a series on Mass etiquette and mentioned that we can never judge people for leaving early because we ultimately don't know what is going on in that persons life. We can't automatically assume mal intent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I feel the same about daily Mass, but I am on the other end of the spectrum, always late because I have to bring my sister to school right as Mass is starting. If anything, perhaps sitting toward the back could make the burden a little lighter. It's so hard trying to deal with what other people are thinking. It has plagued me for years and it is still something I struggle with. I don't do certain things that I know ought to be done simply because I do not want to offend others or cause them to think badly of me. What it comes down to is realizing that they will soon forget their discontent. The fact you are there is a something to celebrate, and people like to make snap judgments without first considering that you have good intentions. St. Josemaria Escriva says: "Don't waste your time and energy--which belong to God--throwing stones at the dogs that bark at you on your way. Ignore them." and most importantly: "Don't flutter about like a hen, when you can soar to the heights of an eagle." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisvilleFan Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 (edited) [quote name='Brother Adam' post='1783341' date='Feb 17 2009, 10:21 AM']That is what the parish hall is for. Not even the narthex is, in its proper meaning, for socializing. It's important for converts such as myself to understand this because we are used to a socially structured worship where everyone is immediately greeted and befriended the moment we walk into a fundamentalist church. When we walk into a Catholic Church and there is no one there to greet us its a culture shock.[/quote] Problem is, the parish hall is usually in a separate building down the sidewalk and around a corner somewhere... I've tried to find these places before and almost always end up trying to open a locked door or turning back around... and most people just walk straight to their cars. Just to make sure, I'm not suggesting having a social hour or breakfast in the back of church... small conversations are totally appropriate either in the back of church or right outside. People can meet there and go elsewhere to hang out. But either way, it wouldn't be a bad thing to help newcomers feel more welcome and invited. Believe it or not, that would help most people worship during Mass instead of constantly feeling self-conscious as many non-Catholics do. Edited February 17, 2009 by LouisvilleFan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I realize that most people are not going to go to the parish hall to socialize, but that is the proper place in the church for social events. I'm not sure what you mean or how having a conversation before Mass would help most people worship. I'm not suggesting it is wrong to socialize outside of the Church or in the gathering area, but socializing should not happen in the nave or sanctuary, it profanes (makes common) where the Mass is celebrated, a sacred and holy place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='LouisvilleFan' post='1783391' date='Feb 17 2009, 12:16 PM']Just to make sure, I'm not suggesting having a social hour or breakfast in the back of church... small conversations are totally appropriate either in the back of church or right outside.[/quote] That sounds good in theory but the back of the church soon becomes a social club and that is just wrong. The church is supposed to be sacred space and the period before Mass should not sound like a theater before a performance - buzzing like bees. The back of one of our churches is enclosed in glass, so if you stand out there you are not disturbing the atmosphere inside, which should always be a place of quiet prayer. The other is not, and its extremely annoying to have to hear conversations when you are trying to pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatsup Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 i don't need to talk during mass I'd just like to sit next to someone I know. People go to church and plop down and scowl. It drags the life out of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I actually welcome being ignored since it happens a lot to me in my experiences. Its mainly because I go to different parishes throughout my city where nobody knows me and I don't know them. I actually prefer it that way so I can focus more on God and not have to worry about saying hi or bye to anyone. I feel like daily mass is my time with God and the more I can sit there concentrating on him and my intentions the better. If you really want to get to know more people there, pick up a bulletin and attend an event that is outside of mass where conversation and smiling is not really limited. lol I look pretty different in mass since I rarely look around or make it a point to say hi or talk during mass. Even after mass I am running straight out the door not stopping to get to work or school. But outside of mass my talkative personality does take over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Also I have to say that daily mass is such an awesome privilege that I hope you decide to keep making. Our world needs those daily masses and all the graces God gives through the mass that any small sacrifice is definitely worth it. Attend for those who miss it terribly (Like me) and who can no longer attend due to job schedules and conflicts. The world definitely needs it and I know I certainly miss having the chance and opportunity to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='whatsup' post='1783430' date='Feb 17 2009, 06:24 PM']i don't need to talk during mass I'd just like to sit next to someone I know. People go to church and plop down and scowl. It drags the life out of you.[/quote] I'm really not sure what you are expecting from people. I am also unsure as to why you need to sit beside someone you know. Also, you seem to be focusing a lot on what other people do, or what they 'should' be doing for you, and I don't think that is very fair. I don't think it's fair of you to judge them for the way they sit or look during Mass. People don't necessarily have time to hang around and chat after Mass, but it's not because they aren't caring people, it's because they have other things they need to do. Have you joined any groups in the church? That would be a perfect opportunity for you to meet people and get to know them (probably the same people who go to daily Mass). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatsup Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 I do loads of social Catholic stuff Most of my social things are catholics of all sorts. I just hate going to church alone, I can't explain why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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