DevotedtoHim Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 +JMJ Dear Phamily, First of all, I would like to thank you all. I still don't know why my thread was closed but whatever, I keep making mistakes in my personal life all over the place I guess it was time to make a huge mistake here. So many people wrote to me and it was great. Thanks. I decided with the help of my spiritual director to only visit one community. Originally, I had planned to visit three. All in the same state and around the same area. Anyway, it was a fantastic experience and I have applied to return after Easter for a formal live-in. It was through the help of my spiritual director, friends (mostly through the internet) and others that I made the choice to stop discernment with communities that do not allow live-ins. (No, I am not planning on monastery hopping.) My decision also came from what happened with the other thread. I realize I have a lot to learn. I have had some bad experiences on the internet with different so called religious groups/people and some it has made me paranoid about any internet stranger. I have been totally humilated publicly in this phorum because of some of the things I have said, some of the things I have done, etc. I know I have shared a lot so you all get the idea. Anyway, I have come to realize that I am a person that cannot live with mysteries regarding people. I have been too hurt and I don't want to be hurt or surprised by a community. For me, personally, I need to be able to see everything honestly before joining. I am truly sorry to anybody I have offended or caused pain to. And thank you again for all of those who helped me and showed compassion. I am going to be focusing on my live in and what God has in store in for me! I am excited, and I hope you will pray for me. In Him, Katherine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InHisLove726 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 [quote name='DevotedtoHim' post='1766737' date='Jan 30 2009, 01:35 PM']+JMJ Dear Phamily, First of all, I would like to thank you all. I still don't know why my thread was closed but whatever, I keep making mistakes in my personal life all over the place I guess it was time to make a huge mistake here. So many people wrote to me and it was great. Thanks. I decided with the help of my spiritual director to only visit one community. Originally, I had planned to visit three. All in the same state and around the same area. Anyway, it was a fantastic experience and I have applied to return after Easter for a formal live-in. It was through the help of my spiritual director, friends (mostly through the internet) and others that I made the choice to stop discernment with communities that do not allow live-ins. (No, I am not planning on monastery hopping.) My decision also came from what happened with the other thread. I realize I have a lot to learn. I have had some bad experiences on the internet with different so called religious groups/people and some it has made me paranoid about any internet stranger. I have been totally humilated publicly in this phorum because of some of the things I have said, some of the things I have done, etc. I know I have shared a lot so you all get the idea. Anyway, I have come to realize that I am a person that cannot live with mysteries regarding people. I have been too hurt and I don't want to be hurt or surprised by a community. For me, personally, I need to be able to see everything honestly before joining. I am truly sorry to anybody I have offended or caused pain to. And thank you again for all of those who helped me and showed compassion. I am going to be focusing on my live in and what God has in store in for me! I am excited, and I hope you will pray for me. In Him, Katherine[/quote] Wow, Katherine! I wish you all the best in your live-in! May God bless you abundantly for responding generously to His call! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Keep strong and go with God, Katherine My prayers are with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mari Therese Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 We [u]all[/u] make mistakes, many prayers for your live-in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 May the Holy Spirit guide you to where you need to be. Don't worry about making mistakes. When you get to be my age, the stupid things you did when younger will still haunt you occasionally, but they will also make you smile at the person you used to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 God is pleased with our efforts, not our results. Simply by trying to love Him and serve Him, you are pleasing to Him! God bless you and keep you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 It was a mistake; they happen. But if you truly do not know [i]why[/i] it was a mistake, I will try to explain (so that it will be easier for you avoid that in the future). Private disagreements or problems between two people probably shouldn't be aired publically, especially not in an accusatory manner. If you haven't heard back from someone, and are beginning to have doubts about their veracity, the charitable thing to do would be to [i]ask[/i], not accuse. A 'Hey, does anyone know how to get in touch with so-and-so? I asked them a question and haven't heard back, so I'm just wondering...." is much better than, "Hey, so-and-so never answered me, so they are probably a fraud/liar/alien-in-disguise." Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions can result in a lot of foot-in-mouth scenarios, or at the very least, unnecessary...drama. Either on the internet or in real life. If you've gotten burned or had a lot of doubts and anxieties, it is certainly understandable [i]why[/i] you would jump to conclusions...but it's always good to take a deep breath and slow down. It's much easier to say "Do not be anxious" than to actually [i]live[/i] it - I notoriously act stressed out when I hit a crunch time. I agree with your spiritual director; you are going to want to live in a community and gain a direct experience of it, not rely on hearsay to make a decision. That being said, you can also learn to ask direct questions to find out about a place before you go visit. If there is something you are concerned about - ask. Don't spend a lot of time thinking "what if...?" when you have no way of answering those questions. I'm not saying that the 'perfect community' will be one that matches every point on your checklist, but if you know what are good and bad points for you, you can get some of that picture straigtened out in advance. I am glad you will have this opportunity to do a live-in visit at this monastery, so just try to prayerfully prepare and make the best of it! Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Don't let a little public humiliation keep you down, I never do. I'm an expert at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 [quote name='Saint Therese' post='1767119' date='Jan 30 2009, 09:59 PM']Don't let a little public humiliation keep you down, I never do. I'm an expert at it.[/quote] Hehe, that totally goes with your current avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Indeed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [quote name='DevotedtoHim' post='1766737' date='Jan 30 2009, 12:35 PM']+JMJ Dear Phamily, First of all, I would like to thank you all. I still don't know why my thread was closed but whatever, I keep making mistakes in my personal life all over the place I guess it was time to make a huge mistake here. I have been totally humilated publicly in this phorum because of some of the things I have said, some of the things I have done, etc. I know I have shared a lot so you all get the idea.[/quote] Don't worry too much. Some of the phamily, like me, have no idea how you humiliated yourself. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotusTuusMaria Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 [quote name='Nihil Obstat' post='1769132' date='Feb 1 2009, 11:45 PM']Don't worry too much. Some of the phamily, like me, have no idea how you humiliated yourself. Good luck. [/quote] Yeah I am out of the loop to! Prayers for your live-in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 (edited) [quote name='MithLuin' post='1766802' date='Jan 30 2009, 02:55 PM']It was a mistake; they happen. But if you truly do not know [i]why[/i] it was a mistake, I will try to explain (so that it will be easier for you avoid that in the future). Private disagreements or problems between two people probably shouldn't be aired publically, especially not in an accusatory manner. If you haven't heard back from someone, and are beginning to have doubts about their veracity, the charitable thing to do would be to [i]ask[/i], not accuse. A 'Hey, does anyone know how to get in touch with so-and-so? I asked them a question and haven't heard back, so I'm just wondering...." is much better than, "Hey, so-and-so never answered me, so they are probably a fraud/liar/alien-in-disguise." Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions can result in a lot of foot-in-mouth scenarios, or at the very least, unnecessary...drama. Either on the internet or in real life. If you've gotten burned or had a lot of doubts and anxieties, it is certainly understandable [i]why[/i] you would jump to conclusions...but it's always good to take a deep breath and slow down. It's much easier to say "Do not be anxious" than to actually [i]live[/i] it - I notoriously act stressed out when I hit a crunch time. I agree with your spiritual director; you are going to want to live in a community and gain a direct experience of it, not rely on hearsay to make a decision. That being said, you can also learn to ask direct questions to find out about a place before you go visit. If there is something you are concerned about - ask. Don't spend a lot of time thinking "what if...?" when you have no way of answering those questions. I'm not saying that the 'perfect community' will be one that matches every point on your checklist, but if you know what are good and bad points for you, you can get some of that picture straigtened out in advance. I am glad you will have this opportunity to do a live-in visit at this monastery, so just try to prayerfully prepare and make the best of it! Good luck [/quote] I wish someone could explain to me why its okay for some people to continually air in an "accusatory manner" their opinions about religious communities but wrong when someone actually challenges this. Seriously. Edited February 4, 2009 by Saint Therese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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