DevotedtoHim Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Dear Phatmass Phamily in Vocation Station, [color="#008000"] I just posted this long letter in Open Mic. I don't know if any of you ever go there. I wanted to make sure that everybody sees this because I am upset about this whole topic. [/color] A while ago, someone posted about this order in this phorum (Open Mic). She had some things to say about the Poor Clares in Los Altos Hills based on her personal experience. I believe this topic belongs in the Vocation Station and I will post there as well, but the original poster couldn't get access to Vocation Station because of her new status. I, for one, was very interested in hearing her thoughts because I am going to visit them. One of the things she said (which I thought was fair) was that she couldn't recommend them because of her personal experience (she was a former member). She also mentioned the fact that Sister Bernadette is no longer there. She is the beautiful Poor Clare nun that had a whole website about her journey. Some of us didn't appreciate her statements, some of us wanted to give her a chance. I think I was pretty straightforward in saying that I wanted to hear what she had to say - privately. I wanted you all to know that I have never heard from her. I have not been allowed to PM her because her account is too new. I would like to ask the Phatmass Phamily to pray for that original poster. I can't say if she was really ever there or not because she dangled information and then never followed up. What I can say is that the community at Los Altos Hills is thriving. They have 16 nuns and the oldest is 65! They have had the same beautiful and kind Mother Abbess for a long time. Because of that post, I did some further outside inquiry with the Monastery of the Immaculate Heart of Mary of the Poor Clares Nuns in Los Altos Hills. It is true that Sister Bernadette is no longer there. But she left for personal health reasons. She remains in touch with the community as does her entire family! There are no hard feelings, no feelings of injustice, and they recommended them completely and without hesitation. I am very sad that someone would post something that could not be supported. I think it is reasonable to admit that some communities are not healthy for whatever reason. For someone thinking about religious life, this is important information. I believe that if the OP really wanted to help someone (like me), had concrete information or something important to say, she would have said it, in the right way, privately. And for sure, I believe, she would have followed up! Also, I just want to say that this is a very private community. They are not like some communities that blog or put personal things on the internet. I have been in communication with them, and I still don't know who the jubilee cards belong to (that are on their gorgeous website!). I was told: [i]Well, I don't think I should say. We live a very hidden life and I think the Sisters would appreciate their privacy.[/i] This was said to me after I called them - after worrying and worrying about what was written in this phorum! I believe, after talking (a lot!) with TradMom about this, that one of the reasons I was so interested in what the OP had to say IS because they are so private. I honestly don't know what happened to the OP, but my mind, heart and soul is at rest. I think we should all be encouraged to take a chance with God and Love. If someone older and more experienced has information, I think we should hear it. To just drop a bomb and then walk away...well, let's pray for the OP. In Mass the Priest says, "Protect us from all anxiety..." and I can assure you, I allowed anxiety to get the best of me over this. I don't know if threads can ever be deleted, but I sincerely vote that the thread that was started by her gets deleted. I privately/personally believe that it was hurtful and now, in retrospect, could even border on defamation. I would also like to apologize to the entire community of Phatmass and also to the Poor Clares, for I was caught up in gossip, and I was only too eager to hear something negative. I was not my best at that moment, and I feel horrible. Katherine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laudem Gloriae Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Katherine, I have, and am still, discerned with the PCCs of Cleveland and I have visited there twice and stayed a week time and during these 2 weeks other PCC communities would come up - once because the novice mistress was attending a Federation meeting and it was either at Los Altos Hills elsewhere but she had much to say in the way of GOOD things about Los Altos Hills. I don't know about other PMers but I know 2 people who go to various (or even 1 or 2) monasteries either as postulants or retreatents and come back with such outlandish stories and even some were outright lies. Unfortunately, there are wackos who try to enter religious life. I've heard a few stories from various sisters themselves! This poster may have been one of these types - or it's sour grapes because they were asked to leave for some reason. I've heard a few people gripe about orders unfairly as an immature way of getting back at them or something. Also what order is great for another is NOT for the next person so you must go and see for yourself. Just as one woman would never marry a particular man and another would, so it's the same with religious orders. There's just to many variables involved - to much you feel called to and for that another person is not so of course a wide spectrum of opinions and experiences can be reported. Also I believe she did "say" she entered about 5 yrs ago or so? So even IF there was something not right back then, there is a very good chance it has been cleared up - especially as you say they are getting vocations! Take any person's "experience" with an order with a HUGE grain salt - even if the report is good! Because you could still go and visit this same order and think that person who raved abou it being so good was nuts because you found them quite the opposite! So just find out for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Yes, I have to say that if you [i]go visit[/i] you will have less anxiety (either way) to hear back from her about what experience she alluded to. Clearly, that vocation was not for her, because as she said, she is now married to a wonderful man and has three beautiful children. Her experience 8 years ago may be valuable to know, but is unlikely to sway you one way or another. Still, I do urge you to e-mail her (check her profile for a comment) to set this at rest for once and for all, so your imagination doesn't take over with all sorts of 'what if?'s I remember being in a conversation with someone about a particular group (not a religious order) that I had visited and they had not. I suddenly hesitated in any enthusiastic recommendation of the group, and the other person became rather concerned - they wanted to know what the problem was, before they put the time and effort into getting involved with them. I was so reluctant to say anything, because I really, [i]really[/i] didn't want to bad mouth a group based on my own limited experience. But, the other person was insistent, and I realized that my very hesitance had already opened that question up, and so....I told him to ask them about liberation theology, if he wanted to get involved with them, and left it at that. I did not give any particulars about my own experience, but did share the 'red flag' that had resulted. I felt that was fair both to the person I was having a conversation with, as well as the group I had met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevotedtoHim Posted January 23, 2009 Author Share Posted January 23, 2009 Thanks for your answer. Thanks for looking really carefully at her profile and for finding her email address. I didn't think that she would answer in comments! Laudem in Vocation Station answered me and gave great advice...as usual. Take all comments about an experience with a grain of salt because it is different for everybody - good and bad (I am paraphrasing). I feel like I have done the best I can do in learning about them. Thanks for finding an email address - maybe she will answer me and my anxiety will go away! And maybe she is real! I will keep you all posted. Thanks, Katherine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 [quote name='DevotedtoHim' post='1759383' date='Jan 23 2009, 01:30 PM']Thanks for your answer. Thanks for looking really carefully at her profile and for finding her email address. I didn't think that she would answer in comments! Laudem in Vocation Station answered me and gave great advice...as usual. Take all comments about an experience with a grain of salt because it is different for everybody - good and bad (I am paraphrasing). I feel like I have done the best I can do in learning about them. Thanks for finding an email address - maybe she will answer me and my anxiety will go away! And maybe she is real! I will keep you all posted. Thanks, Katherine[/quote] +J.M.J.+ as i said in open mic, she is a mother of 3, and as such probably does not have the time right now to get 10 posts as to respond to personal messages. this is not an appropriate thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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