My Aspirancy

[Saint Therese]

As you may or may not know, I recently returned from a live in aspirancy that I made with the cloistered Dominican Nuns of Lockport Louisiana. It was awesome! The sisters are very reverent and prayerful. I found myself to be quite edified from observing their dedication and self-denial. I was expecting bells and whistles and instead found a very deep peace, almost despite myself. Although not something that I would call a requirement for me, I was very pleased that they do incorporate some Latin into their liturgies. The most important factors in my discernment with this community was their obvious joy, the true family atmosphere there, and their devotion and reverence to our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. Even though it was an awesome experience for me, it was also very difficult because (as I've mentioned before) I'm older, overweight, and VERY used to my comfortable life. Which isn't to say that their life is really horrible, because it isn't. I found it very balanced and very liveable(for someone who isn't overweight!!). Now I really see why most communities won't even consider people that are as big as I am. Since I've returned to my life outside of the cloistere I've had the interesting experience of feeling closer to my monastic family than my natural family, which for me is a very positive experience. I had already decided that Jesus was calling me here before my aspirancy; my main concern was whether or not I could live the life. Now I really believe I can, especially after I become healthier with weight loss. I really recommend this wonderful community to anyone who is discerning contemplative life, especially Dominican contemplative life.

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1730857' date='Dec 17 2008, 09:27 PM']As you may or may not know, I recently returned from a live in aspirancy that I made with the cloistered Dominican Nuns of Lockport Louisiana. It was awesome! The sisters are very reverent and prayerful. I found myself to be quite edified from observing their dedication and self-denial. I was expecting bells and whistles and instead found a very deep peace, almost despite myself. Although not something that I would call a requirement for me, I was very pleased that they do incorporate some Latin into their liturgies. The most important factors in my discernment with this community was their obvious joy, the true family atmosphere there, and their devotion and reverence to our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. Even though it was an awesome experience for me, it was also very difficult because (as I've mentioned before) I'm older, overweight, and VERY used to my comfortable life. Which isn't to say that their life is really horrible, because it isn't. I found it very balanced and very livable(for someone who isn't overweight!!). Now I really see why most communities won't even consider people that are as big as I am. Since I've returned to my life outside of the cloister I've had the interesting experience of feeling closer to my monastic family than my natural family, which for me is a very positive experience. I had already decided that Jesus was calling me here before my aspirancy; my main concern was whether or not I could live the life. Now I really believe I can, especially after I become healthier with weight loss. I really recommend this wonderful community to anyone who is discerning contemplative life, especially Dominican contemplative life. [/quote]

Wow, I am so happy for you! So, are you making any plans to start the application process, or are you going to visit some more communities first? What does your spiritual director think?

I can't wait 'til I find that place that feels like home. I've only visited one community and I just recently acquired a spiritual director that I won't meet with until after Christmas. I pray that, together, we can figure out which order I am called to.

Many blessings upon you, 'Saint Therese'!! Merry CHRIST-Mass!!

[DiscerningSoul]

Wow sounds like you had a great experience.
Heard you had some SNOW!!!

Luv ya' Qua.

Edited December 18, 2008 by DiscerningSoul

[Saint Therese]

[quote name='InHisLove726' post='1730867' date='Dec 17 2008, 09:38 PM']Wow, I am so happy for you! So, are you making any plans to start the application process, or are you going to visit some more communities first? What does your spiritual director think?

I can't wait 'til I find that place that feels like home. I've only visited one community and I just recently acquired a spiritual director that I won't meet with until after Christmas. I pray that, together, we can figure out which order I am called to.

Many blessings upon you, 'Saint Therese'!! Merry CHRIST-Mass!![/quote]

I have completed most of the application, and am going to complete the rest of it soon. I have never felt interested in visiting other communities, and really why would I? Lockport definitely has evrything that I'm looking for! I havn't talked to my spiritual director since my return ( I will later this week). But he was very excited for me and very positive before I left; I wouldn't have been able to do it without his assistance and support. ***Side Note*** Pray for priests, they're so awesome!!!
As soon as I arrived there in Lockport, I had a strong feeling that it was home.
I hope you can find where God is calling you as well.
I'll be praying for you!
Merry Christmas!!
Kayla

Oh yeah!! It SNOWED while I was there!! How awesome is that??!!

Edited December 18, 2008 by Saint Therese

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1730881' date='Dec 17 2008, 09:51 PM']I have completed most of the application, and am going to complete the rest of it soon. I have never felt interested in visiting other communities, and really why would I? Lockport definitely has everything that I'm looking for! I haven't talked to my spiritual director since my return ( I will later this week). But he was very excited for me and very positive before I left; I wouldn't have been able to do it without his assistance and support. ***Side Note*** Pray for priests, they're so awesome!!!
As soon as I arrived there in Lockport, I had a strong feeling that it was home.
I hope you can find where God is calling you as well.
I'll be praying for you!
Merry Christmas!!
Kayla

Oh yeah!! It SNOWED while I was there!! How awesome is that??!! [/quote]

Wonderful, Kayla! I'll be praying daily for your application process! If it is the Lord's will, you will enter, I have no doubt. I agree about priests! Please pray for my spiritual director, Fr. B. (last name shortened for privacy) and for Fr. T. (who offered his service today).

I think I'm going to take a serious look at the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration ([url="http://www.ssfpa.org/"]http://www.ssfpa.org/[/url]) and Religious Sisters of Mercy ([url="http://www.rsmofalma.org/"]http://www.rsmofalma.org/[/url]). The Franciscan Sisters really call to me, and I fully intend to discuss them with my SD when we meet.

Edited December 18, 2008 by InHisLove726

[Saint Therese]

I hope your discernment goes well. I'll keep your intentions in my prayers, as well as your spiritual directors. I'm sure that Jesus will make his will clear to you!

[stlmom]

Kayla, I'm so glad you had a positive experience with the Lockport nuns, and I'm especially gratified to hear that they were open to more "mature" vocations! We had a phatmasser earlier this year go to them for an aspirancy and then possibly straight to the postulancy--her name here was SisterAli--did you happen to see her while you were there? I know some PM'ers sent her cards, but she would not be permitted to respond to us. Hope she is still there, as I will send her a Christmas card if you answer in the affirmative.

As for the PM'er here who is interested in the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration, we had a former PM'er enter there, and she is now a novice. I just received a Christmas card from her and she truly loves this community. The RSM's of Alma also seem to be a dynamic community. Both of these communities have a number of women in formation. God bless your search!

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='stlmom' post='1731175' date='Dec 18 2008, 10:01 AM']As for the PM'er here who is interested in the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration, we had a former PM'er enter there, and she is now a novice. I just received a Christmas card from her and she truly loves this community. The RSM's of Alma also seem to be a dynamic community. Both of these communities have a number of women in formation. God bless your search![/quote]

Thank you, stlmom, for the info! I plan to visit the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration as they are the community that really appeals to my heart. I desire Perpetual Adoration in a community, and I would love to be able to do it in a Franciscan atmosphere! Plus, I have a great desire to continue in healthcare even after I become a Sister.

The Religious Sisters of Mercy are indeed fantastic from what I've seen and heard. I can't wait to meet them!

[Saint Therese]

I wanted to post a little more info about the liturgy and use of Latin at Lockport :
There is a resident Chaplain at the Monastery that offers Holy Mass each day and does Benediction each evening . . . The Nuns chant (or sing) ALL "their" parts in Latin.

Another priest comes in twice a week to hear the Nuns' confessions and offer a totally Latin Mass. *On those days, there are then TWO MASSES!*

The Divine Office is chanted by the Nuns in Choir each day. Matins; Lauds; Terce; Sext; None; Vespers; Compline all have Latin incorporated. (Lauds; Vespers & Compline have more.)

Latin is also part of the table prayers in the Refectory and customary usage, such as "Benedictus Deus" (to express thanks/gratitude) with the response "in Donis suis".

Other than when they have aspirants or brand new postulants, alternately, the daily Rosary; daily Sub Tuum; twice daily De Profundis; weekly Penitential Psalms; weekly Litanies of the BVM and Sacred Heart are in Latin as well.

[she_who_is_not]

Kayla,
If you don't mind sharing, could you explain how being overweight contributed to the difficulty of monastic life. I think I tend to think of the struggle as being predominately mental and emotional. I've never really taken time to comprehend the physical difficulties.

[Saint Therese]

[quote name='she_who_is_not' post='1732005' date='Dec 19 2008, 01:20 PM']Kayla,
If you don't mind sharing, could you explain how being overweight contributed to the difficulty of monastic life. I think I tend to think of the struggle as being predominately mental and emotional. I've never really taken time to comprehend the physical difficulties.[/quote]

Sure! I wouldn't have believed how much of a difference being overweight would make- but it did. Kneeling was very hard for me-all that extra weight on my knees, even though they don't kneel excessively or for long periods(although after several days I did get used to it). I think my energy level was greatly affected by my weight-the change in sleeping schedule and eating habits was at first, very difficult. I think someone of a more normal weight wouldn't have to struggle as much with such basic things as kneeling. And when something as small as that is a struggle for you, it does affect you psychologically. Of course another big factor was my age. I'm at least ten years older than most people who enter.
I'd like to stress that my difficulty was due to my personal circumstances-my weight and age. I don't want anyone to think that the life at Lockport is excessively austere, because it isn't. Its very liveable, and I am confident that it will be less difficult for me after I lose more weight (58 lbs so far this year).

[osapientia]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1732303' date='Dec 19 2008, 10:41 PM']And when something as small as that is a struggle for you, it does affect you psychologically. Of course another big factor was my age. I'm at least ten years older than most people who enter.[/quote]

Thank you so much for your honesty. A woman I know very well entered monastic life while still morbidly obese and had to leave because of it. The "tricky" part here is that she did not tell herself the truth (and she knows that now) and so she believed and spoke about all kinds of other things that caused her to come to the decision to leave. I think this is the psychological part you speak of...or could be for some people.....if a person knows things "aren't going well" but can't (or won't) face the real issues, that person could tend to "come up with" (and believe) all kinds of reasons for leaving the life. The person I speak of is now prepring to re-enter monastic life, she has lost about 150lbs and in the process has become acutely aware of the psychological issues involved. She's far more ready now to live monastic life - both physically and emotionally but it has been a long haul and there was damage done - unintentional as it was - to herself and to the relationship with the community she had entered. The relationships have healed and so has the woman and I give thanks to God for that grace.

You are very wise to deal with the physical issues before entering...if I might be so bold, let me encourage you to deal with the psychological issues related to obesity as well (actually it seems you are quite aware so I'm hoping you will understand my statement is encouragement, rather than a suggestion or guidance).

Psychological issues - no matter what they are - will not just disappear and in fact, for a time, may be exacerbated in the monastery. Formation is a bit like living in a fish bowl and if a person isn't aware of their own issues (we all have them) it could spell trouble for a vocation - and a community.

I'm not suggesting that anyone has to be perfect. I believe that reasonably emotionally healthy and aware are "good enough". Most communities will ask for some form of professional assessment of a person's emotional health which I believe is a good thing. I think that most times the professional counselors "employed" by religious communities are aware of the special circumstances of these particular evaulations - especially that the person they are evaluating has a least some sense of a call from God and they can make their evaluation in light of that fact....at least it is my hope that the professionals chosen will have a background that enables them to understand what it may mean to be "called by God".

I'll give you a personal example: I once was making application to a community and they sent me for a psyche evaluation. I answered all kinds of questions for the counselor and told him some difficult things from my past which had a profound impact on my relationship with my mother and also left me with some issues regarding self-esteem and the sense that I could easily be "forced" into submission. I told him that I believed those things were in the past as I had done a good deal of counseling around those issues. I told him that my counselor had "released" me as we both believed I had reasonable "command" over these issues. Ialso told him that I had a very sure sense that my desire for religious life was indeed God's call in mylife. I was quite scared that the counselor would not see it this way and that he would not recommend me to the community - but I was wrong. He said (paraphrase) that it was his belief that when presented with a person in whom he can sense an honest belief in a vocation, that he respects that belief. What he wound up advising me - and the community - to do was to just be watchful for a "resurgence" of past issues in a way that would hinder my living the life. To me he said, I just want you to be careful that "obedience" does not begin to feel like "forced submission".....religious obedience is a WILLING offering of your life and your will......it is not something "forced on you".....so if you begin to feel that old sense of "force", be aware, talk to your superiors and if necessary, ask to come to see me. I'm going recommend that you be allowed to enter the community and (with permission of course) I'm going to tell the community exactly what I'm telling you....you're OK, just be aware. Awareness is key...if you are aware of a problem you can most likely "take care of it". Don't be afraid to admit the problem exists, if you deny there is a problem it will only assure that not only will you not be able to work through it, it will likely get worse which would mean disaster for your vocation. Caring for your vocation means that you will be honest and reasonable about your issues..not scurpulous or perfectionistic. I thank God for this man and personally I do hope there are more like him out there.

I know we have some professional counselors out there in PM - does what I've said make sense? I'm no professional - only one who has had a marvelous experience of the healing process and has "come out" on the other side. Perhaps my circumstances were unique and this is not the way most counselors would see things...I'm just wondering.

Have any of the professionals on the list been called to evaluate a person's fitness for religious life?

*edited for typo

Edited December 20, 2008 by osapientia

[Saint Therese]

The psychological issues I was speaking of were discouragement and possibly anxiety or depression.
I think I'm very aware of my own issues, and I agree that a person doesn't have to be perfect or be from a perfect background to become a priest or religious.

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1730857' date='Dec 17 2008, 07:27 PM']Even though it was an awesome experience for me, it was also very difficult because (as I've mentioned before) I'm older, overweight, and VERY used to my comfortable life. Which isn't to say that their life is really horrible, because it isn't. I found it very balanced and very liveable(for someone who isn't overweight!!). Now I really see why most communities won't even consider people that are as big as I am. Since I've returned to my life outside of the cloistere I've had the interesting experience of feeling closer to my monastic family than my natural family, which for me is a very positive experience. I had already decided that Jesus was calling me here before my aspirancy; my main concern was whether or not I could live the life. Now I really believe I can, especially after I become healthier with weight loss. I really recommend this wonderful community to anyone who is discerning contemplative life, especially Dominican contemplative life. [/quote]

a local monastic recently lost like 150 lbs! it didn't surprise me as much, since it takes so much dedication and grace to even be a monastic. on the flipside, i've been to so many monasteries that are provided for *very* well as far as food, and with so many feast days on our calendar, well, many a "jolly" friar there are to be found.

anywho, i know a few people who are or have been in your predicament. only with God's grace can you overcome this challenge if it is to be, especially with the evil one downstairs sending extra reinforcements to keep you from your holy goal. the food thing is tough, especially in these days, especially if you live with others, especially if still at home! i'm not struggling with weight, but i do have some health issues to overcome before entering religious life. i learned that it's definitely not just your diet, but a total life conversion, permanently. exercise and activity
is an important part of my life and hopefully will be in the community i choose.

i'm learning that for harder struggles, it helps to kick up the prayer and penance a notch. sacrifice/fasting/mortification can really help to combat those wills. we gotta realize it is no longer our selves that can do it, but that we must call on a higher source, His supernatural grace. leave yourself and give it to Him to do.

so prayers for you! i usually think if someone has done something before, well then so can i! if saints have done it, so can you! God will give you what is required. see you in the monastery someday!

[johnnydigit]

found this amazing site by a Catholic Psychotherapist with a prayer pamphlet on weight loss you can print out at the bottom [url="http://www.chastitysf.com/loseweight.htm"]http://www.chastitysf.com/loseweight.htm[/url]