Dark Night Of The Soul And Dryness Support Group

[sacredheartandbloodofjesus]

Tiny therese, your little story is alot like mine, so i wont go into details. But i have come to the catholic faith through a strong conversion(compare it to St. Pauls). But I was worldly and hateful and did a few things that are detestable in the eyes of God. these things still haunt me to this day. But my conversion was great and powerful, i sold and threw away everything i owned but clothing and holy items. I went and ministered to the poor,drug dealers,prostitutes I could say with St. paul "it is no more I who live but Christ in me". I was receiving consolation and just had the most joyful spirit. This was barely even a year ago. But I too was following a schismatic group that didnt deny the mass but it did deny Vatican II. After Christ braught me into communion with himself through denying this schismatic False prophet and accepting the teachings of the church(catechism) I started to experience the dark night. I think Jesus realizes that when we are disobedient we are easier to be manipulated by the enemy. So now like Philothea said we are capable of walkig on our own. And christ is so close now that we cant feel him or see him or hear him, because we are partaking in his passion and life more fully.

OH good jesus, grant that i might not want so much to be consoled as too Console. for it is in giving that we recieve. snipet from St. Francis prayer

TRUST in HIM. Do this prayer if you feel called to it......JESUS I Trust in you! wenever you wanna give up repeat this. And remember the great things he has done for you an continues to do, like keep you in existence, good health, catholic faith, EUCHARIST!

[tinytherese]

Now I'm at a solid Catholic college and tomorrow I finally get to go a to spiritual direction appointment.

[AccountDeleted]

The "Dark Night" gets thrown around a lot when in fact the person might just be experiencing a temporary "spiritual desolation". St John of the Cross is my favorite saint, but it might be a good idea (especially in the beginning) to balance him a little with St Ignatius of Loyola. A spiritual director once jokingly told me that St John is "nada, nada, nada" ("nothing, nothing, nothing") while St Ignatius is "everything, everything, everything".

There is a really good book called “The Discernment of Spirits (an Ignatian Guide for Everyday Living) by Fr Timothy M Gallagher OMV, and in this book, he gives wonderful explanations of St Ignatius’ rules for spiritual discernment. Sometimes St Ignatius can seem a bit hard to wade through but this is very clear and easy to read. The book covers how to discern the spirits that cause spiritual desolation and spiritual consolation and also how to determine whether one is going through a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual desolation (we are affected by many things in our lives that can cause desolation and not all of these are spiritual).

I might be one of the few people who do not believe that we are meant to spend years in the Dark Night of the Soul, but are meant to progress beyond this stage towards transforming union with God. Of course, even St John says that when we are in one state (e.g. aridity or darkness), we think that one will never end, but then when we get into the other one (e.g. consolations), we are sure that it will last forever. It is our nature to think that where we are at the time is how we will remain always! So often however I hear people claim to have spent years in dryness or aridity as if this were the goal of their prayer life simply because St John describes dryness as something God gives to those who no longer need the consolations of beginners.

But St John of the Cross is not only the author of The Ascent and Dark Night, he is also the author of the Spiritual Canticle and the Living Flame of Love - and no one could have been in aridity and written those verses! It is true that God often grants consolations to beginners to help them along the way, and equally true that He will also withhold consolations at times to strengthen a person and to deepen their faith, but He is not a sadist who wants us to be in darkness and misery. Like any parent, He wants to shower us with His love. So if we persevere through aridity and darkness, we can return to consolations again. St Ignatius says that it is through our consolations that we have "fruits" to offer to others (like charity and compassion). And St John of the Cross was no beginner when he wrote the Living Flame, and yet God was obviously showering him with consolations at the time!


Padre Pio said that aridity is the result of our sins - and that might sound a little harsh. But in a roundabout way he is right. Our sins are what cause the need for purification, and the purgative way does include aridity, darkness and yes, even pain, but as long as we continue to walk towards God, the "living flame" will continue to purify our soul, and guide us into the illuminative way.

Cmotherofpearl gave part of the solution to the problem - we continue to obey. I say that this is only part of the solution because to me, it depends on where we are at the time spiritually. If we are simply feeling a little dry or uninspired, then simple obedience is the key. St Ignatius says just to continue on as we had already established prior to the onset of the desolation and by this, we will weaken the evil spirits and strengthen the good ones, and eventually the desolation will pass.

I would just add a little to that for cases of extreme (years)aridity or darkness. Instead of just continuing as we have been, I would recommend increasing our prayer life and our acts of devotion instead of maintaining or cutting back (which is usually what we feel like doing). To me, it is a little like making sure that the sails of the boat are totally unfurled so that we can take advantage of every breath of grace that blows our way. After all, it is God's mercy and kindness that is going to lift us out of ourselves, not our own efforts, but it doesn't hurt to let Him know that we really do want union with Him.

St John did say that the reason most people don't experience union with God, is not because they don't want it, or because He doesn't want it for them, but because they give up when it gets too hard or too painful. So courage, and onward Christian soldiers!

[InHisLove726]

I am currently struggling through a dryness of sorts. This past week, prayer time seemed almost painful for me and I couldn't concentrate. To make matters seemingly worse, all the priests in my diocese were on a retreat from Tuesday until yesterday and were not available to say Mass (the one thing that really helps me when I'm experiencing dryness) or even offer spiritual advice. I had to take comfort in spiritual reading, which was the only thing that really helped. I was reading St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography, but I found it difficult to get through, so I decided, this morning, I would put that book away for a while and start reading, "I Believe in Love." I'm very glad I did. The dryness seems to have lifted a little and I feel better. That book really tapped into my personal spirituality this morning because it explains a lot of things I've been experiencing lately. I thought, "Wow, this book feels like it was written especially for me!" I also went to Adoration for an hour, and Mass directly afterward. That helped me so much. Prayer is no longer painful (at least not today). I still feel a little confusion relating to my physical situation what with the lack of employment and all, but I have confidence that it will be sorted out in God's time.

I also got out my brown scapular (which I have been neglecting to wear) and prayed the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Today has been a great day all around. If only I could sleep better (I had a bad night...)

[AccountDeleted]

Of course, God, being all goodness, does everything for the good of our soul. Sometimes He seems to act a little like the jealous lover, wanting us to find [u]all [/u]our consolation in Him and not in things of this world. When we start to hurt, we often want to distract ourselves, either with the things of this world (television, computer, sleeping, eating, etc) or we seek out human consolation. Sometimes He will seem to put just the right book in our path, or the right program on TV (Mother Angelica or Father Corapi etc) or even a good spiritual director. But the first and best consolation of all is to be found only in Him - and sometimes that takes quite a bit of extra effort, especially when we are in pain.

I find sometimes that the only thing I can do is to sit down in prayer alone with Him and to lay it all out before Him, how I am feeling and what is distressing me, or even just to ask Him to remember my weakness. And then I just place myself in a state of loving attentiveness and wait.

And when it gets really, really bad, and I don't even know how to talk to Him, I pray to our Blessed Mother with these words "Mother, please tell Him that I don't have any wine." She knows what I mean, and for some reason, I just know that she will take it to Him and He won't say no to her. I also know that her response to me is always going to be, "Do whatever He tells you." So then I just wait and listen..... remembering that He is all goodness.

[InHisLove726]

I forgot to mention that I was feeling a little on edge about receiving a rejection email from the place where I interviewed last week. I was so sure the interview went well and it felt like I would get the job, but another person ended up being selected. I got so upset about it that I lost my sense of wanting to pray (hence, probably why it was so difficult), and just sat in pity of myself for about 3 or 4 days, not even wanting to look for job and feeling inadequate. Thursday was my breaking point, so to speak. I woke up in a complete fog, and I cried out to Jesus asking Him why was He making me suffer this? Why am I unable to find work when I really need it? Doesn't He hear me? I just let all the emotion pour out of me and spoke to Him, out loud (I was alone in the house), and said, "Jesus can't you hear me? Don't you understand what this is doing to me? I feel like you aren't even hearing my prayers!" All the tears dried out, and I just sat, motionless, waiting for Him to reply and give me some sort of confirmation that He was there, listening to me. As I sat with my eyes closed in silence, I had this urge to grab my Bible and read a passage that I remembered in Jeremiah (29:11-13). I opened it up to the passage, and read these words:

[quote]"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."[/quote]

Reading it did not lift the disappointment in my soul, but it gave me confidence to know that He is there, listening. I don't know when I will get a job, or if I will, but I am learning to trust that everything He does is for my good.

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='InHisLove726' date='11 October 2009 - 01:55 AM' timestamp='1255186510' post='1982354']
I forgot to mention that I was feeling a little on edge about receiving a rejection email from the place where I interviewed last week. I was so sure the interview went well and it felt like I would get the job, but another person ended up being selected. I got so upset about it that I lost my sense of wanting to pray (hence, probably why it was so difficult), and just sat in pity of myself for about 3 or 4 days, not even wanting to look for job and feeling inadequate. Thursday was my breaking point, so to speak. I woke up in a complete fog, and I cried out to Jesus asking Him why was He making me suffer this? Why am I unable to find work when I really need it? Doesn't He hear me? I just let all the emotion pour out of me and spoke to Him, out loud (I was alone in the house), and said, "Jesus can't you hear me? Don't you understand what this is doing to me? I feel like you aren't even hearing my prayers!" All the tears dried out, and I just sat, motionless, waiting for Him to reply and give me some sort of confirmation that He was there, listening to me. As I sat with my eyes closed in silence, I had this urge to grab my Bible and read a passage that I remembered in Jeremiah (29:11-13). I opened it up to the passage, and read these words:



Reading it did not lift the disappointment in my soul, but it gave me confidence to know that He is there, listening. I don't know when I will get a job, or if I will, but I am learning to trust that everything He does is for my good.
[/quote]


Sometimes what is not spiritual in origin starts to affect our spiritual life as well. Being upset or stressed at not having a job (or a place to live or a friend or enough to eat etc) is a very normal human reaction. This emotional or mental desolation can then begin to affect our spiritual life as we transfer our feelings about the sufferings in life onto God and start to question everything that is happening (or not happening).

It would be good if you could find someone to talk to about the events of your life that are causing you such distress (like a friend or mentor or therapist or pastoral worker). If we judge God's love for us based on our success in this world, then we could start to doubt His existence completely. This is an argument that atheists often use - if God exists, why is there so much suffering in the world? Don't let yourself walk down that path of doubting His love based on what is happening to you in your daily life. This will never be a true and accurate measure of His love for us. Didn't Jesus tell us not to fear those who could destroy the body? His concern is for the welfare of our soul, and allowing us to face challenges in daily life can teach us many things about trust and abandonment to His providence.

When it seems particularly dark for you because of external situations (I am not talking about purely spiritual pain here, but the distress that is caused by external events), then please try to find someone to talk to - to pray with you and to help you remember all the kindnesses that God has already shown you in your life.

I, too, am unemployed right now, and living in temporary accommodation, and trying to start a new religious community in a country that is fiercely liberal in its Catholicism, and many other challenges. When I start to feel a little overwhelmed, I remember when I was working with the homeless in Detroit. We used to take bag lunches to the homeless and one of the people we visited was an old woman, named Mother Rose, who lived in a condemned house with no power or heat or water. One day she got locked in her house because the door handle was frozen, so we didn't deliver a lunch to her, thinking she wasn't at home. The next day we saw her walking along the road and stopped to give her a lift. She told us what had happened, and I felt so bad that I hadn't made the effort to walk through the snow around to the back of her house, just to check up on her. We dropped her off at the hospital, which was several miles away. On the drive there, Mother Rose told me that every day she walks to someplace warm, like the library or hospital, so that she can sit there and read and eat her lunch before making the walk home to her cold house. She said that she loved the hospital because they never bothered her or kicked her out for looking like a homeless person.

Mother Rose didn't have an ounce of resentment in her for all the people who could just come into the hospital and buy whatever they wanted to eat from the shop. She just felt grateful that she was allowed to stay there with them all in the warmth and light, and she said the hospital was also a great place because they had good magazines to read! When I told her that I was praying for her, she told me how much she loved Jesus and said she would pray for me too. I felt honoured to have this saintly woman praying for me.

Now, whenever I start to feel sorry for myself about anything, I try to remember Mother Rose and to feel grateful for all the blessings that God has showered on me, and to see this present time as a way to come closer to God through prayer and total dependence on Him.

I will pray for you, but please do try to find someone to talk to when things get overwhelming for you. It is very human to be stressed at your situation, but talking to someone else is a way to take it out of your head and shake it out a little, seeing that it is never as dark as it looks when it is on the inside! The enemy likes to makes things look worse than they are because he doesn't like us trusting in God.

Edited October 11, 2009 by nunsense

[InHisLove726]

Thank you, nunsense, for sharing that beautiful, enlightening story. I must say that I feel selfish complaining about my lack of work when I have a roof over my head, clothes on my body, and food in my stomach. Mass yesterday enlightened me to understand that I am constantly asking God for favors and not looking at the blessings in front of me. It is true what they say (I concluded from the story of Mother Rose) that you can't miss something you never had. I have always had the necessities of life.

Thank you for the advice about talking to someone. My mom is the person to go to in that situation since she knows what I'm going through. I'm thinking about taking her offer to go back to school, even if it's just for the two classes I need in order to complete my Associate's degree. At least I will be doing something.

Edited October 11, 2009 by InHisLove726

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='InHisLove726' date='11 October 2009 - 06:14 PM' timestamp='1255245245' post='1982981']
Thank you, nunsense, for sharing that beautiful, enlightening story. I must say that I feel selfish complaining about my lack of work when I have a roof over my head, clothes on my body, and food in my stomach. Mass yesterday enlightened me to understand that I am constantly asking God for favors and not looking at the blessings in front of me. It is true what they say (I concluded from the story of Mother Rose) that you can't miss something you never had. I have always had the necessities of life.

Thank you for the advice about talking to someone. My mom is the person to go to in that situation since she knows what I'm going through. I'm thinking about taking her offer to go back to school, even if it's just for the two classes I need in order to complete my Associate's degree. At least I will be doing something.
[/quote]

There! You are thinking positively already! When we stand up to the despair that the enemy wants us to feel, then he runs away like the coward he is. Talk to your Mom and do something positive with your life, especially if you are waiting for something else, or trying to figure out what to do.

We don't need to feel bad about ourselves for forgetting our blessings, we are so human and so weak, but St Paul told us that Christ can be strong in our weakness, so thank Him now that you are starting to see beyond the pain and ask Him to help you appreciate everything that you are blessed with in your life. Having a Mom to talk to is so wonderful - my Mom died in 1987 and I can tell you that there are times when I miss her so much it hurts. There is always something to be thankful for, even when things aren't going right! May God bless you and keep you.

[tinytherese]

My situation gets complicated. I had been going through spiritual trials for almost three years and then I had to deal with an abusive father. It wasn't until a few months ago that I realized how bad it was with him. He has been verbally and emotionally abusive (but in a more deceptive way then your typical, "You're stupid. You'll never amount to anything" sort of way. He had sadistically tortured me as a child and most of my family members seemed to regard that type of behavior as normal for him. I remember when I was discerning with one community that I wrote a letter to the prioress and one of the subjects necessary for that letter was to describe my home life. She told me that the way my dad was treating me was at least partially my fault, saying that rarely is it just one party that does it to an innocent victim. I got to thinking that, "Well I haven't been the perfect daughter. I could do better with him. Perhaps he is doing this to me some of the time because how I act around him." She had been so helpful and wise that I thought that she was right. Now I know that she was totally wrong.

Last May my dad started sexually harassing me again. It had hurt me the year before but I thought that he was just doing it to push my buttons since he could tell how upset that got me. It wasn't until this past summer when I started to think that I was in actual danger from him. I spent a lot less time with him alone in our home. Mom didn't seem to get it. So I didn't go to her just to get another, "Just forgive him and accept that he won't change" speech. I went away to a new school in another state and sought counseling. I went through it for awhile but the situation at home plus the stress of being at a whole new school that was more academically changing with a heavy course load (not to mention intense spiritual difficulties on top of that) got me depressed and thinking suicidal thoughts. I was diagnosed with severe depression last month and take medicine for it. I still attend sessions with the school therapist. My mom and I talked and she decided that she and my dad would separate because of this situation. My brother and I will be living with her. She hopes that dad will realize that he needs to reevaluate his relationships and go into therapy and speak with our parish priest. (My dad has never gone to confession before despite many years of being catholic.) I want to have a guarded heart when it comes to him. Abusers can pretend to change just to get their loved ones back. If he really does change he will have to prove it. It may take years before everything is worked out. I talked to my new spiritual director about my home situation and the spiritual difficulties that had been going on for the past three years. He is having me read a book called, "Forgiveness is a Choice."

[InHisLove726]

I have been reading a great book for the past few days and I really recommend it to those who are struggling with dryness or spiritual darkness. It's called, "I Believe In Love." The tenets of the book are based on St. Therese's Little Way, and also incorporating Salesian spirituality into everyday life. I just got to Conference 4, and I've learned much. The past two conferences (or chapters) have touched on confidence, and the next one that I am reading focuses on complete abandonment.

[Kathgirl]

[quote name='InHisLove726' date='11 October 2009 - 05:39 PM' timestamp='1255297192' post='1983255']
I have been reading a great book for the past few days and I really recommend it to those who are struggling with dryness or spiritual darkness. It's called, "I Believe In Love." The tenets of the book are based on St. Therese's Little Way, and also incorporating Salesian spirituality into everyday life. I just got to Conference 4, and I've learned much. The past two conferences (or chapters) have touched on confidence, and the next one that I am reading focuses on complete abandonment.
[/quote]
I just ordered this book last week from Amazon so it should be arriving any day. Now I'm even more eager to start reading it!

[InHisLove726]

[quote name='Kathgirl' date='11 October 2009 - 06:22 PM' timestamp='1255299772' post='1983285']
I just ordered this book last week from Amazon so it should be arriving any day. Now I'm even more eager to start reading it!
[/quote]

You'll love it.

[Lilllabettt]

I Believe in Love = Best Book For Tough Times Ever.

Sr. Mary Catherine is a Summit Dominican ... she was on here before some of y'alls time ... but when I came home from the convent and was dealing with that and a whole bunch of other stuff, she recommended that book to me. She said she'd read it when she left her first community, and it was a major comfort to her.

It worked for her, it worked for me, it's powerful stuff.

[Winchester]

Hey fudgers,

I've been having a dark years of the soul but I went to confession!