What Do Children Learn From Corporal Punishment?

[mcts]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1717091' date='Dec 3 2008, 12:56 AM']Fear which could later turn into resentment and, ironically, rebellion (which is what spanking is supposed to reduce/eliminate).[/quote]

right. thats not good. so really, either way, you could end up bad. you could also end up good. it just depends on how you parent the rest of the time.

[homeschoolmom]

People pinch their children? Wow... never heard of that.... (I believe you, just never occurred to me to pinch a child.)

[puellapaschalis]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1717235' date='Dec 3 2008, 02:57 PM']People pinch their children? Wow... never heard of that.... (I believe you, just never occurred to me to pinch a child.)[/quote]

Pinching was part of corporal punishment when I was younger. It's supposedly less obvious to others if done in public, I think.

[dominicansoul]

spanking is okay if it's done "right..."

i was physically abused as a child at the hands of my dad...spankings became more like a sort of "scourging at the pillar"

...what did it do to me? I now have a great devotion to the Passion of Christ, which came as a result of this intense suffering as a child...

...am I messed up psychologically? NO. I mean, I have my problems, but I think what was great about my growing up stages, was God gave me a tender, gentle, loving Mother, who was the exact opposite of my father. Her example and her strength passed on to me, and I survived. Do I hate my father? NO. I only grew to love him more, because I realized he had been physically abused as a child...and this caused him to be physically abusive to his children...

Now I take care of my elderly father, (who is now a widow,) and I baby him every chance I get! I love him sooo much! He's 84 now. And he's made peace with me. It took the saintliness of my mother to NOT hate my dad and to see him through the eyes of God...

...i want to mention, i was very well disciplined growing up...and although the spankings were wrong, i think if i had been spoiled, i wouldn't be the devout Catholic I am today...

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='rachael' post='1716854' date='Dec 2 2008, 09:42 PM']This isn't meant to be a corporal punishment is right or wrong thread. Rather, I am curious to know what people, especially the parents on the forum believe children learn from different forms of corporal punishment.[/quote]

They learn right and wrong. Do the wrong thing: you get wacked up side the behind. Do the right thing: you don't get wacked up side the behind (okay, some positive reinforcement is obviously good). Gotta start with the basics to grow in maturity.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='rachael' post='1716854' date='Dec 2 2008, 09:42 PM']This isn't meant to be a corporal punishment is right or wrong thread. Rather, I am curious to know what people, especially the parents on the forum believe children learn from different forms of corporal punishment.[/quote]

They learn right and wrong. Do the wrong thing: you get wacked up side the behind. Do the right thing: you don't get wacked up side the behind (okay, some positive reinforcement is obviously good). Gotta start with the basics to grow in maturity.

[cmotherofpirl]

A smack on the butt can reinforce a stern no when it comes to throwing toys, running loose etc.
Leashes work well too.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1717304' date='Dec 3 2008, 03:53 PM']A smack on the butt can reinforce a stern no when it comes to throwing toys, running loose etc.
Leashes work well too. [/quote]
We had a leash for my younger foster brother when we went to Disney.

As for the OP, so much depends on the parent & child. I can remember being spanked twice, and I deserved it both times. It was not done in anger, and I'd been warned of the consequences. Most of the time, though, a time-out and lecture were sufficient for me. If spanking is used, I feel it should be rare, reserved for serious offenses, and not done in anger. If that means the parent needs to have the child wait until the parent is calm, then so be it (if possible).

[Norseman82]

[quote name='dominicansoul' post='1717270' date='Dec 3 2008, 09:45 AM']spanking is okay if it's done "right..."

i was physically abused as a child at the hands of my dad...spankings became more like a sort of "scourging at the pillar"

...what did it do to me? I now have a great devotion to the Passion of Christ, which came as a result of this intense suffering as a child...

...am I messed up psychologically? NO. I mean, I have my problems, but I think what was great about my growing up stages, was God gave me a tender, gentle, loving Mother, who was the exact opposite of my father. Her example and her strength passed on to me, and I survived. Do I hate my father? NO. I only grew to love him more, because I realized he had been physically abused as a child...and this caused him to be physically abusive to his children...

Now I take care of my elderly father, (who is now a widow,) and I baby him every chance I get! I love him sooo much! He's 84 now. And he's made peace with me. It took the saintliness of my mother to NOT hate my dad and to see him through the eyes of God...

...i want to mention, i was very well disciplined growing up...and although the spankings were wrong, i think if i had been spoiled, i wouldn't be the devout Catholic I am today...[/quote]

On the flip side, some males would have beaten your father to a bloody pulp after a point.

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='Norseman82' post='1717315' date='Dec 3 2008, 11:37 AM']On the flip side, some males would have beaten your father to a bloody pulp after a point.[/quote]

...or worse...

I do have 4 brothers, and you can picture what happened when they finally reached the point where they wouldn't take it anymore...

sad to say, many of my siblings did alienate themselves from our father...I dont' blame them, but I wish they would make peace now that he's elderly and needs our love before he dies...

beauty after all, is in forgiveness and mercy...and good things can come out of dysfunctional families...

[Norseman82]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1717307' date='Dec 3 2008, 11:04 AM']As for the OP, so much depends on the parent & child. I can remember being spanked twice, and I deserved it both times. It was not done in anger, and I'd been warned of the consequences. Most of the time, though, a time-out and lecture were sufficient for me. If spanking is used, I feel it should be rare, reserved for serious offenses, and not done in anger. If that means the parent needs to have the child wait until the parent is calm, then so be it (if possible).[/quote]

I think that is the key.

One of the things taught by in motivational theory is that people are at different maturity stages, and that will determine whether you need to employ telling, selling, etc. Similarly, one needs to be able to know if the child will respond to a simple "NO!" or if he is out of control and more drastic measures need to be taken.

However, a child should generally be warned first, and that there should be a followup session with the child saying why he was punished corporally.

I also will add that corporal punishment should never be administered while the administrator is under the influence of alcohol.

I also have no problem with corporal punishment if the child is physically cruel to another child (or animal, for that matter, since cruelty to animals often leads to cruelty to humans).

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Norseman82' post='1717326' date='Dec 3 2008, 04:58 PM']I think that is the key.

One of the things taught by in motivational theory is that people are at different maturity stages, and that will determine whether you need to employ telling, selling, etc. Similarly, one needs to be able to know if the child will respond to a simple "NO!" or if he is out of control and more drastic measures need to be taken.

However, a child should generally be warned first, and that there should be a followup session with the child saying why he was punished corporally.

I also will add that corporal punishment should never be administered while the administrator is under the influence of alcohol.

I also have no problem with corporal punishment if the child is physically cruel to another child (or animal, for that matter, since cruelty to animals often leads to cruelty to humans).[/quote]
I definitely agree.

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1717307' date='Dec 3 2008, 11:04 AM']We had a leash for my younger foster brother when we went to Disney.

As for the OP, so much depends on the parent & child. I can remember being spanked twice, and I deserved it both times. It was not done in anger, and I'd been warned of the consequences. Most of the time, though, a time-out and lecture were sufficient for me. If spanking is used, I feel it should be rare, reserved for serious offenses, and not done in anger. If that means the parent needs to have the child wait until the parent is calm, then so be it (if possible).[/quote]
I think a big key is that is isn't done in anger. I think when it's done in anger it becomes more of revenge, so to speak, than a punishment for the child to behave.

I was spanked as a kid. It didn't work, in the sense, it didn't deter me. In fact, if they spanked me, I would deliberately go back and do whatever I had done to get the spanking. But it was also after a lot of other things didn't work, either. I was a stubborn child. They eventually gave up with the spankings.