Problems With A Monastery Superior

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='SRLAUREL' post='1703019' date='Nov 16 2008, 09:56 PM']It is not primarily a matter of being allowed or not allowed; it is a mostly a matter of simple prudence and discretion, something you will need to practice if you really plan to enter religious life.

Sister Laurel M O'Neal, erem dio
Stillsong Hermitage
Diocese of Oakland[/quote]

Sr. Laurel, I was not posting them on here to badmouth anyone. I was simply asking for others help in what I should do. Since I have removed them, I don't really understand what your purpose was in posting this harsh reply. Please refrain from speaking such harsh words. I came here with good intentions, not to get in an argument with anyone.

[Sister_Laurel]

[quote name='Carmeliteheart726' post='1703289' date='Nov 17 2008, 10:46 AM']Sr. Laurel, I was not posting them on here to badmouth anyone. I was simply asking for others help in what I should do. Since I have removed them, I don't really understand what your purpose was in posting this harsh reply. Please refrain from speaking such harsh words. I came here with good intentions, not to get in an argument with anyone.[/quote]


Nor did my comment indicate you were badmouthing anyone. As I noted it is not a matter of whether such posts are allowed or disallowed, it is a matter of prudence and discretion. The two add up to simple charity and gratitude in this case. Not every appropriate behavior is written down in a rule book somewhere because that would defeat their very nature. Some are simply expected, and discretion and prudence, not to mention charity and gratitude, are among those things that cannot be effectively legislated. I appreciate you did not know there was a rule about such stuff and that you did not intend to do anything out of line. I also appreciate you removed the information. Those things, while good, were not what I was responding to, nor do they really affect my point: namely, there are much better reasons than rules for refraining from posting identifying information on the WWW, and it is one you (or anyone else here) needs to internalize if you are really seeking to be a religious. Otherwise you will fail.

While there are indeed an abundance of rules in religious life, many more expected behaviors are unwritten, and far too many young candidates fail because they don't have a sense of these when they enter. I am sorry if you took pointing those things out to be harsh since the post was surely not intended that way (neither was it meant to simply argue). I suspect if you can reread it as non-argumentative you will find there is actually something you and others can take from it which will help you (pl) in your quest to become (a) religious. Certainly that is why I wrote it in the first place.

Sincerely,
Sister Laurel M O'Neal, erem dio
Stillsong Hermitage

Edited November 19, 2008 by SRLAUREL

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='SRLAUREL' post='1704699' date='Nov 19 2008, 12:16 PM']Nor did my comment indicate you were badmouthing anyone. As I noted it is not a matter of whether such posts are allowed or disallowed, it is a matter of prudence and discretion. The two add up to simple charity and gratitude in this case. Not every appropriate behavior is written down in a rule book somewhere because that would defeat their very nature. Some are simply expected, and discretion and prudence, not to mention charity and gratitude, are among those things that cannot be effectively legislated. I appreciate you did not know there was a rule about such stuff and that you did not intend to do anything out of line. I also appreciate you removed the information. Those things, while good, were not what I was responding to, nor do they really affect my point: namely, there are much better reasons than rules for refraining from posting identifying information on the WWW, and it is one you (or anyone else here) needs to internalize if you are really seeking to be a religious. [b]Otherwise you will fail. [/b]

While there are indeed an abundance of rules in religious life, many more expected behaviors are unwritten, and far too many young candidates fail because they don't have a sense of these when they enter. I am sorry if you took pointing those things out to be harsh since the post was surely not intended that way (neither was it meant to simply argue). I suspect if you can reread it as non-argumentative you will find there is actually something you and others can take from it which will help you (pl) in your quest to become (a) religious. Certainly that is why I wrote it in the first place.

Sincerely,
Sister Laurel M O'Neal, erem dio
Stillsong Hermitage[/quote]

(the highlight is mine) I certainly have some humility to address before I enter the monastery, but I don't think that anyone would go in to the monastery, truly seeking God, and fail. Especially if they work hard like St. Therese did, which is what I intend to do.

[alicemary]

Not commenting on most of this discussion, but when one enters a monastery/the convent, if one leaves it is not a failure. All enter with the idea of seeking God, that is the only real reason for entering religious life. One never knows what the life is all about until one lives the life. Good intentions/desires only go so far. Even with the help of the Lord, remaining is not the easiest thing in the world. Formation is a time of discernment, and that alone. That is why it takes years to make vows. The first two or three years are looking at the life, living it and seeing if it is the life you want to lead. There are many on this board who have tried the life and left. That is not failure, that is self discovery.
God be with you.
alicemary

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1704852' date='Nov 19 2008, 04:51 PM']Not commenting on most of this discussion, but when one enters a monastery/the convent, if one leaves it is not a failure. All enter with the idea of seeking God, that is the only real reason for entering religious life. One never knows what the life is all about until one lives the life. Good intentions/desires only go so far. Even with the help of the Lord, remaining is not the easiest thing in the world. Formation is a time of discernment, and that alone. That is why it takes years to make vows. The first two or three years are looking at the life, living it and seeing if it is the life you want to lead. There are many on this board who have tried the life and left. That is not failure, that is self discovery.
God be with you.
alicemary[/quote]

Yes, absolutely! I don't think it's a failure at all. I think that those who go and find out that they were not meant to be there, did not fail, they just misread the signs or they were only supposed to try it out for a while. I've talked with former sisters who left who realized that they were only given a short vocation to the religious life. I don't think there is anything wrong with someone going in there with all the right intentions and finding out they were mistaken. It happens. Thanks for explaining it better, alicemary. God bless you!

[johnnydigit]

ok guys, good points on both sides. personally i think the orders with lots of young vocations are fully aware of how our generation is, and so are aware of what to expect and how to deal with us. we have a lot of junk that needs to be washed away, but hopefully we will have the courage to enter the postulancy regardless of how filthy we are, and with the help of the superiors, discern if we have a religious vocation.

if i were to get kicked out i'd probably fight my way back in somewhere else, because i truly WANT to be a friar. stubborn is as stubborn does. not until after the 3rd time or so will i take that as a sign from God, maybe!