Funny/touching Confession Stories

[princessgianna]

[quote name='Jevitt' post='1688196' date='Oct 28 2008, 04:08 PM']Has anyone ever noticed that the almost universal penance is "Pray a Hail Mary." "Pray 3 Hail Mary's." or "Pray 1 Our Father and 1 Hail Mary"

Well, my girlfriend did this thing with her church one day where she gained a plenary indulgence, however her priest didn't have time to hear everyone's confession that morning, so he asked my girlfriend the last time she had been to confession, and then told her that since she had gone a week ago as long as she wasn't in a state of mortal sin she was good.

So anyway, my girlfriend was a little uncomforatable with what he said and wanted to go to confession anyway. So that night I picked her up at her house to come back to my house for dinner, and we stopped at a church for her to go to confession (I had gone on the way to her house!) But I told her "You know, you're probably going to get a penance like 'Pray 3 Hail Mary's'." Well, of course THAT was her penance! Haha.[/quote]

yea it kind ve annoys me!

funny thing about that. we have this really conservative priest and one day he was telling us that he confessing sins and so this person comes in and does the usual stuff well then the priest said for your penance pray the Rosary (the usual is 3 Hail Marys) the person was like "don't you mean 3 Hail Marys" the priest was like "no i mean the whole Rosary it won't kill you i promise" well the person wasn't happy cause he had to like ACTUALLY do a lil hard work!

[let_go_let_God]

If I had gone to the priest in Omaha I probably would cry but then I would just stay in there and wait for him to reopen the screen and Confess again and again untill I am finally forgiven.

God bless-
LGLG

[StColette]

[quote name='Old_Joe' post='1688318' date='Oct 28 2008, 09:09 PM']There's a priest in Omaha who is known as the slammer because if he doesn't like your confession (too slow, unrepentant, etc) he'll slam the door to confessional screen loudly, enough that people outside can hear it.[/quote]

I think Micah has told me stories about this priest.

[Old_Joe]

I've also had people walk in on me during confession. One time, someone walked in on the priest thinking it was the other side of the confessional.

[Old_Joe]

[quote name='StColette' post='1688607' date='Oct 29 2008, 10:51 AM']I think Micah has told me stories about this priest.[/quote]

That's where I got it from!

[MissyP89]

"...and I thought to myself, 'Man, Father was right!'"
"Well, yeah, that's usually how it works. "

He was joking, of course.

[missionseeker]

One time I got the penance "Sit in front of the tabernacle and think about how much God loves you" It was one of the toughest penances I ever got.

[Paladin D]

[b]My funny story:[/b]

Around Lent, our parish had two visiting priests (not to mention our pastor) hearing confessions after the Reconciliation service. Well, I went to one priest to confess my sins, however the priest accidently thought I confessed everything (which I didn't), and proceeded to give me absolution. So instead of interrupting him, which I feared on doing, I waited till I received absolution and decided then to go across the hall and go to confession [b]again[/b] to another priest to confess the remaining sins I wasn't able to do previously.

I sat down in the confessional, explained to him what just happened, and this is what transpired:

[b][i]"Bless me Father for I have sinned, it's been approx. 1 minute since my last confession."[/b][/i] - Me

He immediately started laughing, and commented:

[b][i]"That's a new one, never heard that before. You don't mind if I tell this story to my priest friends?"[/b][/i]

Edited October 30, 2008 by Paladin D

[philothea]

[quote name='Paladin D' post='1689107' date='Oct 30 2008, 01:00 AM'][b][i]"Bless me Father for I have sinned, it's been approx. 1 minute since my last confession."[/b][/i] - Me[/quote]


That's awesome!

The only other confession story I can think of, is one church in downtown Peoria (with DAILY confession! often more than once a day!)... man, are they hardcore. When you get done with all your sins, father starts asking questions. Like, "So, what about birth control?"

I was all I mean, I don't so no problem for me, but wow!!

[Darky]

[color="blue"]My stories are more frustrating than funny.

The local parish priest offers confession only on Saturday morning at 10am. I turned up about 10:30 and he was just sitting in his office. The confession took place in his office (The confessional at the church turned into a small storage room) I tried confessing my sins just mentioning what they are, and with every single sin he made up an excuse for them saying they are not sins but 'curiosity' or something else... I was like "Wha? " I gave up in the end and he was just getting frustrated with me, then he absolved me and told me it's childish to mention and list my sins. Apparantly what I should do is only say"I've not been living to Christian standards" and that's it. *sigh* He also told me that our sins are forgiven at mass so there is no need to go to confession unless it is a mortal sin, and a mortal sin is very, very hard sin to commit so I barely have to worry about it.

On another occasion at WYD I saw a priest before a catechesis. It was VERY noisy in the church because there was music, song and dance so we had trouble hearing each other lol. Again the priest said along the same lines of don't go to confession unless its a mortal sin. I'm incredibly lost... can someone help me here on WHEN and HOW I should go to confession and with what sins???

Thanks
Darky [/color]

[mcts]

[quote name='doe-jo' post='1687897' date='Oct 28 2008, 01:52 AM']The best thing a priest ever told me in the confessional was that he would pray and make sacrifices for me. I know it's not that big of a deal but it was music to my ears because I heard it during one of the worse times of my life. . It was as if the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders. This was a month ago too.


Anyway, I have a bad one.

I went to a rosary rally at a college a year ago. I confessed to the priest about prank calling protestant prayer hot lines. I told him that my friends and I were bored at 1:00 am and was flipping through the channel and just happened to stumble upon this protestant channel. They were taking in prayers and all. I don't know what got into our heads but we thought it'd be funny to prank call them. So we called them and told them to pray for the souls in purgatory, for all the priests and more vocations to the priesthood. When I confessed that to the priest, he just started busting up for about 5 minutes. I mean, he couldnt even speak. Then he just told me that it wasnt really a sin because we didnt intend to harm anyone. He said its like prank calling a friend. But I thought it was uncharitable on our part. I was in there for about 15 minutes because he couldnt stop laughing.[/quote]


HAH! I honestly laughed for 5 minutes!

[eagle_eye222001]

[quote name='Darky' post='1689168' date='Oct 30 2008, 05:52 AM'][color="blue"]My stories are more frustrating than funny.

The local parish priest offers confession only on Saturday morning at 10am. I turned up about 10:30 and he was just sitting in his office. The confession took place in his office (The confessional at the church turned into a small storage room) I tried confessing my sins just mentioning what they are, and with every single sin he made up an excuse for them saying they are not sins but 'curiosity' or something else... I was like "Wha? " I gave up in the end and he was just getting frustrated with me, then he absolved me and told me it's childish to mention and list my sins. Apparantly what I should do is only say"I've not been living to Christian standards" and that's it. *sigh* He also told me that our sins are forgiven at mass so there is no need to go to confession unless it is a mortal sin, and a mortal sin is very, very hard sin to commit so I barely have to worry about it.

On another occasion at WYD I saw a priest before a catechesis. It was VERY noisy in the church because there was music, song and dance so we had trouble hearing each other lol. Again the priest said along the same lines of don't go to confession unless its a mortal sin. I'm incredibly lost... can someone help me here on WHEN and HOW I should go to confession and with what sins???

Thanks
Darky [/color][/quote]


According to [url="http://www.catholic.com/library/confession.asp"]http://www.catholic.com/library/confession.asp[/url], it states that "Since it is not possible to confess all of our many daily faults, we know that sacramental reconciliation is required only for grave or mortal sins—but it is required, or Christ would not have commanded it. "

[philothea]

[quote name='Darky' post='1689168' date='Oct 30 2008, 05:52 AM'][color="blue"]I'm incredibly lost... can someone help me here on WHEN and HOW I should go to confession and with what sins??? [/color][/quote]
Well, they're technically correct -- you don't have to receive the sacrament, if you're not in a state of mortal sin, and yes, all venial sins are forgiven at mass or at reception of the Eucharist.

But... I'm not so certain that mortal sin is difficult-bordering-on-impossible to commit. That seems to vary a lot from person to person. Also, sacramental confession helps us to overcome the flaws we have, whether they're leading to mortal sin or not. We're supposed to be [i]perfect[/i], not just passable!

(There was a long-standing rule of the Church requiring sacramental confession for all Catholics at least once a year, but it appears that in the American church this has been changed to only being required annually if a person is in a state of serious sin. I don't know how other areas of the world are.)

A general guideline for a normal, devout Catholic, IMO, would be monthly confession, and you confess anything that a reasonable Examination of Conscience would ask about. (There should be pamphlets and lists around that you can find.) If your priest can't sympathize with your goal of trying to be perfect, go somewhere else until you find someone who can... or at least a priest who can keep quiet and play along.

FWIW, I find parishes run by religious orders often have good confessors.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='philothea' post='1689202' date='Oct 30 2008, 01:33 PM']But... I'm not so certain that mortal sin is difficult-bordering-on-impossible to commit. That seems to vary a lot from person to person. Also, sacramental confession helps us to overcome the flaws we have, whether they're leading to mortal sin or not. We're supposed to be [i]perfect[/i], not just passable![/quote]
Just wanted to highlight this, as I totally agree with you. Even if I've no mortal sins to confess, going once every 1 or 2 months really helps me to not succumb to venial sin as easily as well. I've noticed marked difference in overcoming habitual sins since I started going more regularly.

[misereremi]

My brother once approached a priest after Mass to ask if he could hear his confession. The priest obliged, but he had forgotten to turn his mini microphone off (the one he clips onto his vestments for Mass). There were a few old ladies praying the rosary with me and we upped our volume to drown out the voices from the confessional...

I've had some amazing confessors- a couple who knew pretty much everything about me having never met me. One of my confessors when I was a child always used to mistake me for someone else, and he would ask me about my work and my children. It turns out it wasn't a mistake at all; he already saw who I would be in 15 years time; he even knew then that I would study and then live in this town when there was no way I could have known that. I once went to confession with a priest who was an exorcist and after confessing my sins, he reminded me of other unconfessed sins and people whom I had hurt as well as a person who had cursed me. He prayed deliverance prayers over me. I would have loved to have gone to confession with San Padre Pio.

[quote name='Old_Joe' post='1688318' date='Oct 29 2008, 02:09 AM']There's a priest in Omaha who is known as the slammer because if he doesn't like your confession (too slow, unrepentant, etc) he'll slam the door to confessional screen loudly, enough that people outside can hear it.[/quote]
lol!

Edited October 30, 2008 by misereremi