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Funny/touching Confession Stories


MissyP89

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One big hurdle for Protestants or those on their way home is that Confession is always impersonal, shaming, and unbearable.

True, there can be difficult confessions, and I'm sure all of us have been there at least once. However, there is also incredible wisdom, grace and mercy to be found when we seek our repentance through the Sacrament.

And heck, sometimes confessors can be just plain real. Let's bust the stereotype!

The other day:

Fr: "You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think you need to RELAX. Really! Chill out. All things come together in God's time. He's done so much for you. Trust Him."

And last year:

"Oh, hello, Tina."
[i]My name isn't Tina. I let it slide.[/i]
"Have a good weekend, Monsignor."
"You too, Tina."
"Um. Monsignor?"
"Yes?"
"My name's Melissa."
"...........I really did know that. I promise I did..."

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Ash Wednesday

The time I was so embarrassed I confessed behind the screen to our local parish priest that me and some friends raided the church kitchen during youth group. We got into the refrigerator and to our delight, someone left some booze in there.

I could hear the priest laughing to himself as I was confessing it.

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missionseeker
:lol:


I have a friend who went to confession in - I can't remember which one- Reno or Vegas. The priest was deaf, pretty and the people outside could hear him talking. So when she went in, she said "Father, everyone outside can hear you" and he said "WHAT????? OH NO!!!! THAT"S HORRIBLE!!!"


:lol_roll:
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lost_in_this_world

i wish i had a funny story to tell but i dont do confession even though i know i need to. ive never had a good experience and i really dont plan on going back any time soon if at all.

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:lol:

My first confession, I was soooooo petrified. I'd known I would be, so I wanted to get it over ASAP. My godmother took me to rosary/adoration, where there were confessions beforehand, and assured me that the confessor there was super nice, and I'd be fine.

Nevertheless, I was so scared I couldn't actually speak. I kinda... [i]squeaked[/i]. Unintelligibly. Father (who was, indeed, very nice) finally started asking me yes or no questions so I could nod or shake my head.

:lol_roll: I'm such a dork. I'd been baptized the week prior, it's not like I had anything real exciting to confess!!

[quote name='lost_in_this_world' post='1687469' date='Oct 27 2008, 06:16 PM']i wish i had a funny story to tell but i dont do confession even though i know i need to. ive never had a good experience and i really dont plan on going back any time soon if at all.[/quote]

:bye: Nice to meet you. I'm sorry that you're having trouble appreciating the sacrament. I hope we can help! :console: Edited by philothea
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My funniest story didn't involve my confession. We had bingo at church on Saturday night, and the worker's kids would play kickball in the parking lot while their folks were in setting up. We used the corner of the church as 3rd base. Our church had just converted the cry room into a face to face confessional too. I decided to kick the ball down the third base line when it was my turn, and it curved, crashing through the stained glass window right into the cry room/confessional while someone was in there. The man came running out seconds later. I've often felt bad that he might have just confessed adultery or tax fraud, and then boom, the window exploded.

Our pastor came running out right after the man. By that time, I was of course completely alone. Everyone else had scattered. With my history, no way he was going to believe it was an accident. I spent the next several weeks polishing pews and vessels. I still have no idea how a soft red kick ball could break such a big, thick window.

I do describe a couple of confession episodes in my book. Neither of those is funny though.

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Well, when I made my first Confession way back in 2nd grade, the priest went into the Confessional and then the first boy went in. Well... the priest forgot to turn off his microphone, so someone had to knock on the door and tell him to turn it off before we got to the boy's sins!

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[quote name='Jevitt' post='1687567' date='Oct 27 2008, 08:25 PM']Well, when I made my first Confession way back in 2nd grade, the priest went into the Confessional and then the first boy went in. Well... the priest forgot to turn off his microphone, so someone had to knock on the door and tell him to turn it off before we got to the boy's sins![/quote]
:doh:

:rolling:

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Oh yeah! I remembered something else.

A while back, I was at church waiting for Mass to start. I sit in the very back, right in front of the confessionals. Well this little boy, couldn't have been any more than three or four somehow got separated from his mother and toddled over to the confessional and opened the door. Someone was kneeling inside.

I was like, "ACK, THERE'S SOMEBODY IN THERE, SWEETIE!" And somebody heard me, gasped, and got the kid out of the confessional while someone else shut the door. Oops. :lol:

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The thought of first Confession both terrifies and excites me. If it goes anything like my baptism at my old church it could hold humorous potential. Hint: We do full immersion in American Baptist churches, as I was being dipped back in, my pastor lost his grip. It was true "total immersion".

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The thought of first Confession both terrifies and excites me. If it goes anything like my baptism at my old church it could hold humorous potential. Hint: We do full immersion in American Baptist churches, as I was being dipped back in, my pastor lost his grip. It was true "total immersion".

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Ah! I have another funny Confession story.
I was once at a retreat, and went to Confession with the first priest avalible. Well it just so happened that he was an old, semi-deaf priest, and he asked me where I was from. So at first he goes "oh, I don't know where that is." and then half way through my confession goes "OH! I KNOW WHERE YOUR TOWN IS!" It turns out he drives through it everytime he visits the town where he grew up. Then later he started telling me about how I have to be a safe driver (I'm 17, have my license, but I am a safe driver, and I didn't say anything about driving during Confession). It was pretty funny.

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I heard of a guy going to confession for the first time in quite a while.. the priest said "pray 5 rosaries for your penance", as the guy was well into his penance outside, the priest came out and saw him there, he said "what are you still doing here", the guy said, "well, you gave me 5 rosaries for penance," the priest then said, "oh I meant 5 decades."

-I don't know how true it is, but my boss told me the story.

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