Should You Tell Your Children About Santa?

[eagle_eye222001]

Personally, my parents have had Santa come and leave presents. However, when one of the younger ones asks a question concerning his existence, a typical response from my parents is "well do you get presents?" When you wake up, are the cookies gone?

My parents have always been very diligent though to uphold the real meaning of Christmas. We have Christmas lights outside with a full Nativity set (NO Santa/North Pole stuff outside at all), Christmas tree, with stable and nativity set, family assignments for who gives to who, etc.

In fact, when you walk around my house during the season of Christmas, you see a multitude of Nativity sets. I am pretty sure you can find about 30-40 distinct sets of a Joseph, Mary, and young baby Jesus. Some sets have more stuff than others but there is at least 30 distinct sets.

Before we open presents we read the nativity story in Luke. If there is a reference to Santa, my parents are careful to back the Christian aspect of Santa as St. Nick who gave stuff to others.

While Santa seems to be a distinct happy childhood experience, is it wrong to have him leave presents? Would it be worse to deprive children of this childhood experience or am I delving into relativism? Can you have presents left and still not lie?

Maybe it is okay if you handle it correctly.

As long as you directly do not promote the North Pole secular Santa and instead advocate a St. Nick Santa type.

You heavily promote the birth of Christ so it is engraved in your kids minds that the primary purpose of Christmas is not giving to others, but rather to celebrate the birth of Christ and have gift giving as secondary principle of Christmas.

[T-Bone _]

We always "had" Santa come, but it was just for pretend. Even as young children, we knew that he wasn't real.

[mortify]

I think there is a legitimate tradition surrounding St Nicholas but the Santa Claus of modern times is pretty much a Coca Cola invention. I don't have children, but I'd tell them what Christmas is [b]really[/b] about and then dispel any nonsense that surrounds it.

Edited October 9, 2008 by mortify

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
i remember doing the St. Nicholas day leave your shoes out thing. i guess it was never said that Santa was bringing gifts - it was always understood that my parents brought them.

[mortify]

[img]http://www.metnews.com/articles/2005/coke_santa--1939.JPG[/img]

Edited October 9, 2008 by mortify

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
not sure what hubby and i are going to do about the Santa question though, because he is (slowly) working his way to becoming a Christian. it was always Santa at his house growing up, and not Christ's birthday.

[Archaeology cat]

In some countries, St. Nicholas comes (on 6 December) and leaves presents, and Christmas is separate. Or they have some small presents on St. Nicholas' Day and then the Christ Child brings presents on Christmas (I believe this is the standard for Germany & Austria). I personally like that, but we haven't decided how we'll handle it yet.

[Mr.Cat]

[u]This is a touchy issue with me[/u]; I almost think that the parents should explain how culture views Santa. What harm is there in explaining to children their favorite fairytales/shows on television aren’t real, I think they still can enjoy them and can appreciate them as they are intended to be. Still I remember after I had discovered the truth concerning Santa that it was difficult to relate to some of my friends who didn’t understand. [i]Also I recall that when I discovered the truth my parents were relieved, they explained to me they didn’t have to get me as many presents then[/i].


As a Catholic I think its important that children at some point be taught who [url="http://saints.sqpn.com/saintn01.htm"][b]Saint Nicholas of Myra[/b][/url] really was, be that this image of Santa in today’s culture is, in some measure, a perversion of who he really was. Also to focus on the "feast" of Christmas, and the whole season Christmas, in context of what we as Catholics are truly celebrating, the birth of God Incarnate into the world.

I personally think our parents, our family, our loved ones, our friends, and even to some degree our acquaintances/associations should be showed true love, affection, and concern; [b]moreover children I personally believe need to be showed very explicitly and directly this love, affection, and care[/b]. We are all of the same Human Family and the Family of God, moreover our associations in the three Divine institutions: the Church, the State, and the Family. The season of Christmas should be one of true Christian spirit, not an empty or fluffy feeling. The Christmas season should be of true Christian love, affection, and care.

It took a while to see the greatest gift on Christmas was receiving Holy Communion in celebration of the birth of God Incarnate into the world. I don’t know if anyone else feels the same as I do, or if this could be easily given to children. This though was far more fulfilling than any vision of this cultural “Santa” and secular mass consumerism ever was for me, while I still appreciate it on some level, it just cannot be compared fairly. [i]How could one compare something that was created to [b]He that is uncreated[/b] and infinitely above all things[/i]?

Though I think children see gifts as expressions of that love, affection, and care...

I do however think it should be left to the parent’s judgment and we shouldn’t interfere if they are not directly our children. Though I think that at some point, some age, regardless if they have been informed or not it needs to be assumed that they can be exposed to it. It would certainly be easier to bluntly just uphold the reality of the matter, but the concern I have regards the child’s psychology and development, also how they relate to the world. [i]Being a child can be an extremely lonely/hard experience at times, there is no reason to make it worse[/i].

So I think the parents and the children need to take a balanced approach taking in consideration firstly Holy Religion and secondly cultural implications. Considering the development and psychology of the children ([i]even adults at times[/i]) in how they relate to Christmas. Likewise considering how to relate and interact with other parents/children concerning this subject.

Just some thoughts...

Edited October 9, 2008 by Mr.CatholicCat

[MissyP89]

Growing up, I always figured Santa wanted to celebrate Jesus' birthday too, so that was why I got presents from him.

[puellapaschalis]

My parents never pretended to me that Santa existed and we never did the stocking thing. Were I a mother I'd be inclined to do the same.

[cmotherofpirl]

In my house Christmas starts after the 4th Sunday of Advent, usually about the 21st.
There are no decorations put up, no shopping done beforehand etc, because we are celebrating Advent. I used a Jesse Tree with canvas ornaments and an Advent calender.
When I was a child I believed in Santa, Christmas didn't start until Christmas morning, all the decoration being done after I went to bed. No one put up anything in advance. When I was older, my parents and I would travel to the various cousin's houses all night long Christmas eve helping decorate, put up the tree, place out the presents etc. It was great fun, but I was very disappointed that I was lied to about Santa.
My own children always knew their presents came from me. Because we were poor I didn't want them to think "santa" loved the neighbor kids more who got roomfuls of presents, and them less who only got 3-4 things. They always got one thing they wanted, a new outfit, and several books. You can't give much on a caseworkers salary.
Before I was married the choirmasters mum always served supper to everyone after Midnight Mass which was actually at midnight, so we ate about 2:30am. Imagine 50 people for supper
When my kids were old enough we started hosting our own neighborhood after-Mass party. The neighbors plus all the kids friends would show up with their dates, the only condition being you actually went to a church before you came to eat. It is still our one Christmas extravagance. However since Masses are earlier here now I get to chase everyone home at 3AM.

[philothea]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1673523' date='Oct 9 2008, 05:36 PM']In my house Christmas starts after the 4th Sunday of Advent, usually about the 21st.
There are no decorations put up, no shopping done beforehand etc, because we are celebrating Advent. I used a Jesse Tree with canvas ornaments and an Advent calender.

[...]

When my kids were old enough we started hosting our own neighborhood after-Mass party. The neighbors plus all the kids friends would show up with their dates, the only condition being you actually went to a church before you came to eat. It is still our one Christmas extravagance. However since Masses are earlier here now I get to chase everyone home at 3AM.[/quote]

Fabulous.

I've always thought it was terrible to do to kids, to turn Christmas into a materialistic lie.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='philothea' post='1673534' date='Oct 9 2008, 06:59 PM'] Fabulous.

I've always thought it was terrible to do to kids, to turn Christmas into a materialistic lie.[/quote]
My neighbor's children simply handed their parents their list, and their parents simply bought every single item on it and handed them the stuff Christmas morning. Its been that way for 25 years now. There are no surprises, no mystery, and to me its just an exchange day for them. The mum starts her shopping in July, and spends the remaining months til Christmas focusing on her lists.
O and I forgot to mention my kids always get candy for St Nicholas feastday, and something on Jan 6th for the Magi, usually more candy. Its not someting we generally had in the house so it was always a real treat. I always tried to keep catholic thru out the year .

[lost_in_this_world]

I grew up believing in santa and the easter bunny and the tooth fairy. i think it's good for kids to have something good to believe in and if you look closely, santa is real because he is inside everyone during the holidays. may family wasn't really religious but i knew Christmas was Christ's birthday but we mostly celebrated the presents. I think it's perfectly fine for a kid to believe in Christmas and the rest of the fictional characters, as long as they also know why we celebrate

[MissyP89]

[quote name='lost_in_this_world' post='1673573' date='Oct 9 2008, 07:21 PM']I think it's perfectly fine for a kid to believe in Christmas and the rest of the fictional characters, as long as they also know why we celebrate[/quote]

There we go!