You Know You're Catholic When

[Saint Therese]

pLEASE NOTE THE parenthetical cmments are not mine


You know you're Catholic when ...
[Via Dogwood. Yep, definitely put a smile on one's face ... ]

You know you're Catholic when...

1. ...every time you go into your pantry you feel a strange compulsion to cross yourself and say, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned...”

2. ...guilt is your best friend, and you feel obligated to share it with others. [You know, I never got this. But then, I didn't grow up Catholic.]

3. ...You genuflect before entering your seat at the theater. [Nope]

4. ....if you only crave hamburgers and steaks on Fridays during lent and you crave fish every other day in Lent...just never on Fridays. [Ha!]

5. ...if you sneak into protestant churches, sprinkle holy water, and hide blessed medals. [ROFL!]

6. ...you can only recite the Creed when around large groups of people.

7. ...you make the sign of the cross when you pass in front of a Catholic church.

8. ...you hear the Angelus bells and begin saying the Angelus to yourself.

9. ...just about every special interest group in the country hates your guts.

10. ...you have an overwhelming compulsion to say, "And also with you," when Yoda says, "May the Force be with you." [YES!!!]

11. ...someone says they're going to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) and you think they are going to bingo at the K of C.

12. ...someone asks you your favorite Madonna song and you say “Hail Holy Queen.”

13. ...you hide anti-Catholic books in the library and bookstore behind other books on the shelf.

14. ...you have to remember which bottle has the holy water and which bottled has the water for drinking.

15. ...you know how to process, keeping two pews between you and the person in front, keeping lined up with your partner, walking without bobbing or swaying, and you genuflect on graduation day when you get to your seat.

16. ...you know at least 5 sins that can be committed against each of the 10 commandments.

17. ...you pray a Hail Mary when you hear a fire truck or ambulance siren.

18. ...all your children have saint names instead of names chosen from celebrities.

19. ...You have a rosary hanging from your dash.

20. ...you have a holy water fountain at your door and a religious picture and crucifix in every room.

21. ...your son calls home after being gone and the first thing you ask is have you been attending Mass.

22. …one of your crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.

23. ...they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you've been if you haven't stopped by in a while.

24. ...you measure your life by the number of Popes who have come and gone.

25. …after making the Sign of the Cross at the start of the Rosary, you say "Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts..."

26. ...you spend the first five minutes of the day untangling your scapular from your Miraculous Medal.

27. ...you have a St. Christopher medal in you car.

28. …you know more than 15 recipes for preparing tuna fish.

29. …you refer to other religions as "Non-Catholic".

30. ...you carry prayer cards in your purse or wallet.

31. ...You know a family whose every daughter has Mary, or every son has John Paul either as the first or middle name.

32. ...your coworkers point out that you have something on your face and as they go to wipe it off for you, you duck and scream, "No, they’re my ashes!!"

33. ...you know when Advent and Lent begin and what day is Easter.




And for you Generation X-ers

You know you're a Gen-X Catholic when...

34. ...one of your earliest memories of Mass involves watching four teenage girls with long, straight hair strumming guitars.

35. ...one of your earliest memories of Mass involves watching four teenage boys with long, straight hair strumming guitars.

36. ...there were more felt banners bearing hippy slogans in your parish church than statues.

37. ...you never understood why the priest kept rearranging everything and removing things from the church all the time: statues, confessionals, kneelers, etc.

38. ...you wondered why some of the old ladies put doilies on their heads in church. What was that all about?

39. ...you think an historic church is one with kneelers. [Thankfully, this is changing!]

40. ...Friday was "hamburger night" at your house.

41. ...you were a girl altar server in the 70's or 80's, and didn't realize that you were breaking the rules.

42. ...growing up, you only knew of one family that used NFP...and they were Presbyterians.

43. ...in all your years of Catholic school, you never had a nun for a teacher. Oh, and ruler? What on earth are you talking about?

44. ...you heard older people talking about a "Baltimore Catechism", but you never actually saw one.

45. ...Seven Cardinal what???

46. ...your 9th grade religion class included learning the Our Father and the Hail Mary, because most of the kids in class didn't know those two prayers.

47. ...you've heard the words "Benediction" and "Vespers" but aren't really sure what they mean. But you can sing the sappy “Kumbaya” and “On Eagle’s Wings” with no problem.

48. ...you wonder why some people receive communion on the tongue.

49. ...you think Extreme Unction is a new professional wrestling show on TV.

[Drumroll for the best ... ]

50. ...your overall religious instruction left you with impression the only mortal sin was first degree murder and/or judgmentalism: everything else is venial and therefore irrelevant.

Edited October 3, 2008 by Saint Therese

[Saint Therese]

Part II
You might be a hardcore Catholic if:

- you've accidentally genuflected at a place other than church ex. the movie theatre, school auditorium

-you're sick of being asked why priests can't be married

-you have a "favorite" religious order

-you say the meal prayer no matter where you are

-you have a nativity set at your house during Christmas, and have also played with it.

-you've accidentally made the sign of the cross when leaving regular buildings (Note from Esther: actually I cross myself when I pass the bank or the library)

-you know that advent is the beginning of the new church year.

-You know at least five people named Mary

-You can name off all the Joyful, Glorious, Sorrowful, and Luminous mysteries.

-one or more of your friends entered the seminary or the convent

-you have 20+ cousins.

-your mom is currently pregnant

-you and your spouse practice NFP

-you believe in Purgatory and know it's important to pray for the souls who are currently in Purgatory

-you live chastity and are saving yourself for your future spouse.

-you're able to sit still for a full hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament

-you are discerning the religious life

-you often end disputes with, "Let's look it up in the Catechism."

-you and your friends have shown up at Adoration at 4:00 in the morning

-when watching star wars and hear "may the force be with you" you respond with "and also with you"

-your mom always says "4 kids, Catholic" (Thanks to Jim Benedick)

-you have participated in sword fights using Palms on Passion Sunday

-you and friend friends ever played "Mass" instead of House, or Cops and Bad Guys

-You have your own designated seat at Mass

-they know you at every Catholic bookstore in the area, and ask you where you’ve been if you haven’t stopped by in a while.

-you're named after a saint, not a family member.

-you get excited about going to mass

-you arrive at Mass half an hour early to get a good seat and talk to Jesus

-your mom always makes sure to celebrate your feast day

-altar serving was the cool thing to do

-you point at your friends in line for confession calling them sinners and everyone laughs as you get to the end of line

-Your teachers grade you down when you write papers about moral issues and papers involving God

-You never eat before church, and brunch afterwards is always the best! (Thanks to Larry Perez)

-Your first serious conversation you have with a potential girl/boyfriend involves your conversion story

-You lie awake at night wondering why the St. Michael Prayer was removed from the end of Mass

-The word "vocation" to you does not simply mean "job"

-People tend you look in your direction in class whenever anything involving religion comes up

-You have a Rosary or Saint Christopher pin in your car

-One of your Crucifixes has five years worth of dried out palms stuck behind it.

-You have more than one Rosary hanging from your bed.

-You have contemplated being in a religious order at least once.

-you say "God bless you" anytime anyone sneezes, out of habit

-you have had multiple meetings with the priest at your own will

-You had competitions with your friends on Ash Wednesday to see who could keep their ashes on the longest

-You still write "Your Kingdom Come!" or "JMJ" at the top of your page/letter/report/test

-You know that some Catholics don't eat meat on Wednesdays or Fridays, even not during Lent.

-you get really excited over a holy day of obligation

-if you are tired of people referring to the birth of Jesus the immaculate conception

-you've ever been told my your mom, "Offer it up", and then felt very obliged to do so

-when discussing possible names for your future children with friends or your future spouse, you start ruling out names that aren't virtues, saints, or biblical

-You plan what to wear based on the liturgical color of the day

-you were disappointed when you couldn't find a catholic version of trivia pursuit

-You know that "prostrate" is not a place where men develop cancer

-Instead of change, you find a rosary under your couch cushions.

-you have at one point had to stop a younger sibling from playing in the holy water font.

[icelandic_iceskater]

-you're addicted to phatmass

[CatherineM]

I have my Sacred Heart Auto League medallion affixed to my sewing machine because we don't have a car.

[rizz_loves_jesus]

-You spend your free time on Phatmass instead of Facebook or Myspace.

[Saint Therese]

I've actually done the "and also with you" bit when watching StarWars.

[Deb]

Those were wonderful! I have to say I identify with most of them.

I really do get to Mass a half hour or MORE to get my seat and to talk to God.

[Saint Therese]

I get really excited over holy days of obligation.
once I got REALLY excited over the 40 hours devotion..

[Deb]

I love Holy Days of Obligation! I told my sis once that we should have one every Friday cuz that is my hardest day to get to daily Mass. If it was a Holy Day, they would have an evening Mass just special for it.


This week I hung a 42" x 35" canvas print of Rembrandt's "Prodigal Son" in my tiny living room. It rocks!!! Every time I look at it I have to thank the Father for welcoming me home. I love being Catholic.

[MissyP89]

That residual incense smell instantly slows your pulse and lowers your blood pressure in a nice way.

[Saint Therese]

[quote]Every time I look at it I have to thank the Father for welcoming me home. I love being Catholic[/quote].

Ditto!!

[Deb]

[quote name='MissyP89' post='1669473' date='Oct 3 2008, 07:03 PM']That residual incense smell instantly slows your pulse and lowers your blood pressure in a nice way.[/quote]


I buy these votive candles called "resurrection" that smell like church incense. I love them.

[Saint Therese]

I wear my ashes fromAsh Wednesday as long as possible.

[MIKolbe]

when you hold the (lit) incense and do not hold it off to the side, but RIGHT under your nose so you can REALLY smell it.

[Saint Therese]

When you look forward to going to confession.