Dominican Nuns

[DevotedtoHim]

Actually, Sister wrote to me last night a private PM explaining what happened but I think TradMom is right regarding privacy so I won't say anymore, but I think it was nice she answered me. And Perpetualove is right because she does come to this phorum but she just doesn't post. I guess part of being a cloistered nun is being cloistered from the internet, too, because the internet is a world unto itself.
Peace,
Katherine

[sistersintigo]

Regarding Sr. Mary Catharine, the Summit monastery, and the young lady who came and then returned home.
Count me among the inquirers who are blessed to have received a private post from St. Mary Catharine concerning this young woman's experience. Much more discreet for Sister to do it this way, to send private responses on an individual basis, to those who inquire (ask and it shall be given).
I too followed the young woman's experience on the Summit blog with much interest. I agree that her situation is very sensitive. Three little words for you: Family Of Origin. A word to the wise should suffice. In my opinion, this sad story is actually a timeless one. The cloister and the monastery have posed a challenge to parents, relatives, and surrogate parents of aspirants and postulants from their very inception, over so many centuries. Some things don't change all that much, not even after a thousand years. Guess I've said enough.

[By His Grace Alone]

I just thought that I would add that I don't think it is really about health care costs (assuming that any Order actually used that excuse). I have earned a military retirement, a civil service retirement and will also collect social security eventually. In addition, I can pay for private health insurance. Even if I couldn't, I am a veteran and would be able to receive care at the VA. I doubt that the prejudice that exists springs from a health care concern.


[quote name='nunsense' post='1672334' date='Oct 7 2008, 11:00 PM']I really wonder if that is the real reason they won't take older women, because age does not appear to be an issue in many other countries. I still think that the high cost of health care in the US makes older women look unattractive to communities. In England and Australia and Canada, there doesn't seem to be the same problem because of their medical care being free.

I spoke with two Prioresses today from Canada and both of them said that age was not a deciding factor for them - it is simply one factor to be considered along with others but my age (56) did not put them off in the slightest. One Prioress said to me that they don't like to put any obstacles into the way of a possible vocation, and they would rather have a woman come and see if God was calling her there, and then leave, rather than not answer His call. I thought that was so sweet.

You made a good point about the whole embarrassment or feeling of failure thing as well, so it is good to keep people's identities confidential unless they want to post it themselves. I am so used to being completely self-disclosing that I don't mind everyone knowing about my little adventures, but I still had bad feelings about leaving, which is so silly when one considers that discernment is really just the "dating" phase of the relationship, and there is no shame in discerning that some place is not a good fit.

Now back to this thread - the Dominicans. I went to Vespers at the Summit Dominicans last week, and it was so sweet! They sing the office in a very musical way (compared to the Carmelite plain chanting) and I loved their voices. Their chapel in beautiful and the monstrance is huge and fantastic! What a wonderful place. I hope they get many more vocations.[/quote]

[Guest Perpetualove]

Apparently, the woman who left, Deepa, is quite open about her experience given the fact that she has chosen to blog about it. She recently left a quote at Summit's blogspot with a link to her own blog. The very first blog contains her reasons for leaving (so you have to go all the way back), so this might answer questions for those who are interested. Since she has made her story public, with her first and last name, secrecy and imagined reasons don't really seem appropriate in this case.

[url="http://outsidethecitywalls.blogspot.com/"]http://outsidethecitywalls.blogspot.com/[/url]

[Laudem Gloriae]

I personally think it was wrong of Sr. Mary Catherine to write to anyone asking about the sister who left as it is no one's business but this sister and the monastery. It is a different story if the sister gave her permission for Sr. Mary Catherine to do so, but if not, it is wrong. I wouldn't want a novice mistress or prioress/abbess/superior giving out my personal business and reason(s) for leaving a community.

To say that "yes the sister left" is enough as it would be evident if the sister is missing from pictures, etc. But if the REASONS WHY the person left isn't write to give out - if this is what happened.

[Laudem Gloriae]

I personally think it was wrong of Sr. Mary Catherine to write to anyone asking about the sister who left as it is no one's business but this sister and the monastery. It is a different story if the sister gave her permission for Sr. Mary Catherine to do so, but if not, it is wrong. I wouldn't want a novice mistress or prioress/abbess/superior giving out my personal business and reason(s) for leaving a community.

To say that "yes the sister left" is enough as it would be evident if the sister is missing from pictures, etc. But if the REASONS WHY the person left isn't write to give out - if this is what happened.

[dee_0824]

I am THAT sister who left - Deepa.

Someone did ask where I was on the Summit blog in October, and here is what MonialesOP said -
[url="https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=8709785&postID=4893784523231307257&isPopup=true&pli=1"]https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=87...=true&pli=1[/url]
Its the comments window, and you can do a search of the page for "Sr Veronica" or "Deepa".

I am comfortable with telling people I discerned for a year within the enclosure.

And, yes, I do have a blog. But, I had a blog before I entered. The odds were I'd start up another blog. And, I did.

My blog is just my personal musings about life. My life "outside the city walls". Song of Songs 3:2-4.

When I saw this topic and saw that it was about me, I instantly thought of US Weekly and People. And, I thought why would people discuss me as if I would never see it.

I am at peace and I have joy. My time at Summit was not a failure but a grand year-long retreat. I am grateful for it. I am grateful I followed Jesus in blind obedience. I'm still discerning God's will in my life. Its not like I fell off the side of a cliff when I left the city walls. I trust that God has a plan for me and I will keep following blindly as I did before.

I think this answers all your questions. I do not see the need for further discussion about how I must be doing.


He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from trouble. -- Proverbs 21:23

To Jesus through Mary,
Deepa

Edited October 28, 2008 by dee_0824

[VeniteAdoremus]

Hi Deepa,

Go you.

[TradMom]

+Praised be Jesus Christ!

Like many Phatmassers here, I find some of the blogs of contemplative (enclosed) nuns really stretching the line on "enclosure." I cannot think of anything more intimate than one's relationship with God, and I do not believe it belongs on the internet for complete strangers to read. I find this incessant need for blogging to not only be completely self centered, self-promoting and dangerous, but in addition, not showing the qualities of what one would expect in religious in particular: humility, modest and concern for one's vow of poverty. We seem to be living in a society wherein every single detail of one's life must be immediately broadcast to the general public. Now we have experienced the awkward situation of speaking about someone, and wondering all kinds of things while she was here the whole time. Personally, Deepa, I pray, as I am sure all of our phamily does, that you continue to move forward in life with grace and dignity and bring that high energy to your youth ministry program. Obviously indeed, God had other plans for you.

As many of you know, I do not allow my children living at home to use the internet without strict supervision, and I can assure you, none of us have a blog. The two different monasteries my daughters are in have websites. Let me assure you that I am not suggesting we return to the dark ages; I believe the internet can be a wonderful tool for the greater glory of God. The websites belonging to the communities my daughters entered are tasteful, informative and yet, do not invade the privacy of any community members, nor do they do reveal personal information. I have seen some good friends get into trouble on the internet and it is very important we take care in giving out personal information.

I will provide some examples of beautifully done websites that are inspiring, give a view of the life being lived and are inviting to those needing to know more for personal discernment. I think we often forget that choosing religious life in such a radical way (to live an enclosed, contemplative life) includes great sacrifices and the rejection of the material world in its various forms. Blogging, to me, unless done infrequently and with great prudence, seems very worldly and not in line with the life. Some very fine websites do use blogs in a very prudent manner, and also, some of them stick with the more traditional newsletter, which I happen to appreciate. Also, some wonderful religious websites include very well done pieces written by a particular member of the community. Some websites credit the nun by name, others not. I suppose this is done with with the permission of the individual. Then again, I am a traditional mother, so this is just one opinion and not directed at one any one group though this does happen to be in the Summit thread.

My picks are below as examples. These are not in any particular order and merely reflect cloistered communities whom have made the effort to have an internet presence without sacrificing humility, prudence or privacy. I'm sure many of you have others to add.

nunocist.org
abbeyofreginalaudis.com
[url="http://members.aol.com/teresacarm/index.htm"]http://members.aol.com/teresacarm/index.htm[/url]
[url="http://www.flemingtoncarmel.org/index.htm"]http://www.flemingtoncarmel.org/index.htm[/url]
[url="http://www.poorclaresroswell.com/index.html"]http://www.poorclaresroswell.com/index.html[/url]
[url="http://www.ihmwestfield.com/"]http://www.ihmwestfield.com/[/url]
[url="http://www.carmelitenuns.org/welcome.html"]http://www.carmelitenuns.org/welcome.html[/url]
[url="http://www.vistyr.org/index.html"]http://www.vistyr.org/index.html[/url]
[url="http://users.erols.com/carmel-of-port-tobacco/index.html"]http://users.erols.com/carmel-of-port-tobacco/index.html[/url]
[url="http://www.stjudemonastery.org/index.html"]http://www.stjudemonastery.org/index.html[/url]
[url="http://www.adorationsisters.org/mission.html"]http://www.adorationsisters.org/mission.html[/url]
[url="http://www.mountgraceconvent.org/"]http://www.mountgraceconvent.org/[/url]
[url="http://www.kirkedge.org.uk/rule.html"]http://www.kirkedge.org.uk/rule.html[/url]
[url="http://www.carmelslc.org/"]http://www.carmelslc.org/[/url]
[url="http://www.stceciliasabbey.org.uk/"]http://www.stceciliasabbey.org.uk/[/url]
[url="http://www.carmelitesistersbythesea.net/homepage.htm"]http://www.carmelitesistersbythesea.net/homepage.htm[/url]

TradMom

[VeniteAdoremus]

Thank you, Tradmom, for yet another insightful post.

I had typed a whole post about how I think you are right, "but". Then I thought it over again, and changed it to "I think you're right".

Even though I do love to read about the convent life.

And I think blogs can be a powerful tool for apostolic sisters, especially those with a media or preaching apostolate. But, as almost all things, it's a two-edged sword.

[the lords sheep]

Welcome to the Phamily Deepa!!!!!!

[Laudem Gloriae]

Tradmom has said it very well! I have always thought that cloistered nuns especially and even active sisters shouldn't be blogging or internet and forum surfing and posting. Yes websites are necessary in many cases but an order that has a website and not email is great or one that uses email very prudently and only for vocation inquiries and only by the Mother or novice mistress is best.

I am looking into orders that DO NOT allow the sisters internet access or incessant blogging. It IS a new and modern way of breaking enclosure and keeping one or both feet in the world - this also echoed by several Mother Abbesses, Prioress and such at Carmels, PCCs and a Dominican cloistered order to me in visits.. A nun or sister should be keeping her time, energy and thoughts on God and the community/sisters and not on forums, surfing the net or blogging.

If a person feel such a need, desire or thinks its ok to surf, post and blog, why are then entering an order to continue doing worldly behaviors they do in the world?

[DameAgnes]

Hi Deepa! Your blog looks great!

I like all of the sites TradMom mentioned, but I also appreciate blogs like Summit's ( [url="http://monialesop.blogspot.com/"]http://monialesop.blogspot.com/[/url] ) or the Passionists, ( [url="http://www.passionistnuns.org/blog/?p=90"]http://www.passionistnuns.org/blog/?p=90[/url] ) or the Benedictines of St. Walburga's, ( [url="http://stwalburga.blogspot.com/"]http://stwalburga.blogspot.com/[/url] ) and that's because so many of our young people are so POORLY catechised and wholly unexposed to notions of religious life (active or cloistered) that they may feel a tugging or a call and have no idea at all what it means. While the cloistered sites that provide community overviews without blogs are wonderful, I think some of the blogs do a real service to discerning young women in giving them a sense of what the day to day is like and taking away a bit of the "weirdness" that might be off-putting, scary or whatever.

Just as there are different parts of the same body, I have always felt there is a place for both sorts of communities and sites, and so I'm not of a mind to judge which are "best" - they all serve their purposes in God's plan.

Also, while I pray for vocations, it's always nice to read about them - put a face and purpose to my prayers, so to speak.

[Luigi]

To Dame Agnes, I reply with a hearty "Here!Here!"

[Saint Therese]

I'v seen a lot of posts on here regarding what a religious should and/or shouldn't do. Also posts regarding the importance of respect for privacy while at the same time ignoring it.
What is the purpose of this thread?
Is it really our place to judge the actions of a religious when we don't have the full story as to what's going on?
I there might be a better direction to take this thread.