Lengthy Questionnaire

[Domine ut Videam]

Hey Pham,

Quick question. So in October a friend and I are organizing a mini nun-run for ourselves. Upon contacting the Carmelites of the Divine Heart of Jesus we received a very nice reply with a in-depth questionnaire. This thing included past jobs, date of baptism, why we want to be a sister (we don't even know yet if that is what we want, much less why) type questions. And to be honest it kind of freaked us out, it seemed so serious. Is this common with many other orders? Since this was the first, and only yet, order that we contacted we were surprised to say the least. So my question is can we expect this from all orders? Thanks!

Totus Tuus Maria,
Lauren

[Laudem Gloriae]

I know of a few who do this - though it's been awhile and the one that comes to mind is the Carmelites of Carmel-by-the-Sea, Carmel, CA that has a 2 page questionnaire on the "Contact Us" page of their site ( [url="http://www.carmelitesistersbythesea.net/homepage.htm"]http://www.carmelitesistersbythesea.net/homepage.htm[/url] ) in PDF from to print out and mail to them at:

[url="http://www.carmelitesistersbythesea.net/Questionnaire%20for%20webPDF.pdf"]http://www.carmelitesistersbythesea.net/Qu...or%20webPDF.pdf[/url]


So it's not terribly rare for orders to do this - other than the degree of the questioning.

Edited September 17, 2008 by Laudem Gloriae

[alicemary]

Some communities might require this, but do not let that stop you. If you are doing a nun run, then I would in no way feel obligated to fill out such an extensive questioinnaire. You are just stopping buy for a quick visit. If you really do want to visit these sisters, I would email them and state your concerns. If then insist, then you just don't visit. Most communities will welcome you with open arms. And how much fun you will have, and you will learn so much!!!

[Domine ut Videam]

[quote name='alicemary' post='1657621' date='Sep 17 2008, 08:00 PM']Some communities might require this, but do not let that stop you. If you are doing a nun run, then I would in no way feel obligated to fill out such an extensive questioinnaire. You are just stopping buy for a quick visit. If you really do want to visit these sisters, I would email them and state your concerns. If then insist, then you just don't visit. Most communities will welcome you with open arms. And how much fun you will have, and you will learn so much!!![/quote]


I definitely don't have a problem with it. I was just a bit surprised. Thanks for your encouragement however!

[johnnydigit]

hmm. vocation directors know that something like this may scare someone who has barely got their feet yet. so, my thought is

1. they knew this and would rather you get some more experience with time. with many popular orders who receive tons of requests, they want to weed out people so they can focus on the more serious ones. or,

2. they didn't know it. maybe a temp sent it? maybe they got confused about who you were?

in any case, don't let it bother you. some hardcore contemplative orders don't even have any contact means other than by snail mail. some may even wait until your second or third letter to see if you are serious and not just temporarily on fire. some may require several phone call attempts. vocation directors can get very busy. imagine one running around from 5am to 10pm like a chicken with its head cut off.

so if you really are interested, just fill out what you can, don't worry. no need to get paranoid about anything. they are servants of God, which means they only want to help. for some reason, God led you to contact them so just follow through. they aren't psychic, so don't assume they know who you are or what your intentions are, which means there's no need to get defensive or anything. it's probably just standard practice..

i guess it comes down to trust. trust in God. it's not like a credit check, where "the man" knows that you even made the check, so "beware". there's not really a chance for "fraud" or getting "ripped off" or getting hurt somehow. if worst comes to worst, at least you honestly followed God's will and that's all you can really do. be at peace! God bless you on your journey!

[stlmom]

That does seem like more information than necessary on the face of things. However, I recall reading sometime in the past from a prioress of another monastery that they were seeing a number of young women on "nun runs" who were acting as though they were on a glorified road trip, just along for the ride with maybe one of them actually interested in religious life. Most sister's schedules are pretty full, and while they are happy to talk to people about their lives, they just don't have much time to waste. So this might be a way of "weeding out" folks who really aren't sincere about the whole thing. These are really nice Sisters, if you decide to go see them, just give them some basic information and have a good visit.

[TotusTuusMaria]

I just wrote an inquiry letter to the Norbertines in California and they sent me a paper wanting a lot of information like mentioned.

[Veritas]

[quote name='TotusTuusMaria' post='1657954' date='Sep 18 2008, 12:09 AM']I just wrote an inquiry letter to the Norbertines in California and they sent me a paper wanting a lot of information like mentioned.[/quote]

+

It might just be to help them provide you with the relevant experience to where you are at in your discernment (in conjunction with your background and experiences) as well. It doesn't seem strange to me that they want to know a bit more about you. I wouldn't take it the wrong way.

It could also be that's just what they have on hand to learn a bit more about young women and even though it's not tailored to your situation they sent it instead of creating a new form!

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='TotusTuusMaria' post='1657954' date='Sep 17 2008, 10:09 PM']I just wrote an inquiry letter to the Norbertines in California and they sent me a paper wanting a lot of information like mentioned.[/quote]

been there. filled mine out while i was there. i forget if it was my first time filling out a questionnaire, but it wasn't bad. i got used to it after a while.

what i've noticed so far is that the more contemplative orders, such as the Benedictines, are probably a little more what one would expect when inquiring. it is a part of their charism to be extremely hospitable and to "accept every visitor as if it was Christ himself." with the contemplative environment, one is likely to be invited to stay for a few days or even longer given your experience. they'll want you to relax, enjoy yourself, join in the prayers.. basically do some contemplative discernment and meet with the vocation director and whatnot.

now the more active or active/contemplative orders, where it seems us young folk are more attracted to, have a relatively more hectic environment. the hours are precious, as practically every minute is carefully used. you're either praying, working your apostolate, traveling, walking somewhere, working, cleaning, praying, meeting with someone, eating, praying, etc. if there is a spare 30 minutes i will often thank God i am able to take a quick nap, if i'm even near my cell. now consider the vocation director, not only do they have a full schedule, but they have to watch over and guide visitors, as well as communicating with inquirers like you guys. it's almost like an office job, in and out, in and out.

don't get me wrong, either one can be exhausting depending on the schedule and your ability, but given the "faster pace" and amount of visitors these active orders have, it wasn't until i lived with them a few days that i realized, "man, no wonder they weren't able to answer my calls. they are so busy!" you can have as many as 10-20 inquirers calling a day, scheduled visits with 3-5 people at a time, etc.

many inquirers find the life is not for them. it's too hard, or just not for them. they are just passing through. some pursue further. some become postulants the following season. 10% or so of those postulants will make it to the novitiate.

hopefully with the above insight you might get an idea as to why they would present you with a somewhat intimidating questionnaire. don't worry, if it's your calling, you'll be ready to whip through it and hand it over with an eager smile. if not, don't worry, just take your time and explore and search more. things will become more familiar to you over time. enjoy the ride! hope this helps. Ave Maria!

[Digitaldame]

I can understand a long questionnaire being a bit off-putting (we don't use one) but equally, I find people sometimes write quite long, circumstantial emails/letters which actually "overlook" some important points a community would like to know. We once had an application from someone I'll call Evelyn. Turned out to be male (we're nuns) but NOTHING in the correspondence made that clear until a number of communications had passed! Perhaps some of us who are vocation directors/superiors could put together a short list of points it would be helpful for discerners to cover when they write/email requesting a visit? Would that be useful or overkill?

[osapientia]

[quote name='Digitaldame' post='1658072' date='Sep 18 2008, 03:13 AM']I can understand a long questionnaire being a bit off-putting (we don't use one) but equally, I find people sometimes write quite long, circumstantial emails/letters which actually "overlook" some important points a community would like to know. We once had an application from someone I'll call Evelyn. Turned out to be male (we're nuns) but NOTHING in the correspondence made that clear until a number of communications had passed! Perhaps some of us who are vocation directors/superiors could put together a short list of points it would be helpful for discerners to cover when they write/email requesting a visit? Would that be useful or overkill?[/quote]

I think that would be very helpful. Thank you for suggesting it.

[Domine ut Videam]

[quote name='Digitaldame' post='1658072' date='Sep 18 2008, 02:13 AM']I can understand a long questionnaire being a bit off-putting (we don't use one) but equally, I find people sometimes write quite long, circumstantial emails/letters which actually "overlook" some important points a community would like to know. We once had an application from someone I'll call Evelyn. Turned out to be male (we're nuns) but NOTHING in the correspondence made that clear until a number of communications had passed! Perhaps some of us who are vocation directors/superiors could put together a short list of points it would be helpful for discerners to cover when they write/email requesting a visit? Would that be useful or overkill?[/quote]


I agree that this would be most helpful! Thanks!

[the lords sheep]

I know these Sisters very well, and my suspicion is this is what they send for people who want to go on longer retreats. I would kindly email either the vocation directress or the superior, both of whom are very sweet, reasonable women, and ask them about it if it concerns you.

Either way, I encourage you not to drop them off your list. They are very wonderful Sisters!

[-I---Love]

The Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal have a pretty darn detailed questionare too just to visit for a retreat.

[Domine ut Videam]

[quote name='johnnydigit' post='1658051' date='Sep 18 2008, 01:57 AM']hopefully with the above insight you might get an idea as to why they would present you with a somewhat intimidating questionnaire. don't worry, if it's your calling, you'll be ready to whip through it and hand it over with an eager smile. if not, don't worry, just take your time and explore and search more. things will become more familiar to you over time. enjoy the ride! hope this helps. Ave Maria![/quote]

I'm sorry, I believe my original post did not explain what I meant clearly. In no way am I saying that I don't think I should have to fill this out, or that I don't want to. Because i do not mind at all filling things out, esp. things like this. The problem that i had was that it frightened me. Frightened me in the sense that this was now suddenly more real than a concept in my head. That is why I was shocked. I guess I just always figured that filling out paperwork happened when you entered. So, mostly it was the preconceptions in my head that were sounding alarm bells. I have now been corresponding with the Vocation Directress and she addressed all my fears. You all have been so helpful however! Thanks.

Totus Tuus Maria,
Lauren