Choices... What's Your Opinion?

[Divided]

Choices. This is one of the things that I am struggling to understand right now. From what some people say it appears that there is only one right choice. But then when I listen to other people, I’ve heard that it’s not about one right and one wrong, but two rights. I’m trying to understand this. Let me explain.

When it comes to small things like choosing what to eat, deciding what I wear, deciding what I do with my free time, choosing between one flavor of icecream or another… is there a “right” choice? Are these seemingly insignificant things actually significant? To the people who claim there is only “one” right choice, does their theory include these small things or just the larger scale decisions. To the person who claims that God’s will is open ended and that it’s not about “one right and one wrong” but, two rights…I think they are trying to say that no matter what choices we make, God will work them out for the good. I tend to agree more with scenario number two. Yet, then we move on to the larger scale. Take college for example. The first person would claim that God wills me to go to a particular college. So, out of three choices, only one would be “correct”. The other would say that I could go to any of the three and it would be “correct”. This is where I start to become confused. I can’t believe that God’s plan is completely open ended. Obviously because of free will we have endless possibilities, but if we are really trying to do the will of the Father…how do we know what choices to make? So, in the small decisions I can see why we don’t have to be worried about making the “wrong decision”. I can see how God can use what we give Him and lead us to Himself. But on a larger scale, although I can believe that God will use whatever we give him and will make the most of our choices, I don’t believe that He is completely indifferent to what we choose. However, the theory of God having a stone-like plan does not seem to fit either. Honestly, I don’t know what to make of it.

What do you think?
Do you know what the Church teaches on this?

[CatherineM]

I have my doubts that God really cares which flavor of ice cream I pick. I know he is capable of having his fingers into every single thing we do or think, but like a good parent, he is going to let us make our own decisions.

[TeresaBenedicta]

So, like a good Catholic, I say: both/and.

I think with the smaller stuff (which ice cream flavor, what shirt to wear, etc), it's not that God doesn't care... but like any parent, He gives free reign on choices. Whatever floats your boat.

On the larger stuff... Like, which college to go to or what to major in or vocation, etc... I think there is a "right" decision. I think that God has a plan for us and knows which of those choices will make us happy and will fulfill His plan. So, we pray about it. And we look at the pros and the cons of everything. And we make a choice, trusting that, so long as we are listening for God's will, we are pleasing Him in our decisions. A particular prayer I like for all these types of situations:


[i]MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. [b]But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.[/b] And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. [b]And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.[/b] Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.


Thomas Merton[/i]

[Divided]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1621339' date='Aug 8 2008, 11:43 AM']I have my doubts that God really cares which flavor of ice cream I pick. I know he is capable of having his fingers into every single thing we do or think, but like a good parent, he is going to let us make our own decisions.[/quote]

I don't think he cares about that either, but what I'm trying to understand is this:

His will:
Is it close ended?
open ended?
or somewhere in between?

When we are faced with a decision and are trying to determine what God "wills" what exactly are we looking for? Let me explain:
Jobs. Let's say that I am looking for a job and there are 5 possibilities. I am trying to determine where God wants me.
[i]Closed ended:[/i] God has ONE specific job that he wants for me. In other words, I am trying to discern which [b]one[/b] job is right among the 4 others that are "wrong". -not to say that if I choose the "wrong" one, he cannot work with it. Because He can.
[i]Open ended:[/i] God does not care which job I choose. All five are "right" -so to speak. He will make the most out of whatever job I choose, and other than determining the benefits and drawbacks of each, I don't have to worry at all about making a decision contrary to His will.

or is it something in between? What do you think?

That is the first part of my question.

The next part is simply this: If it is indeed scenario one where His will is "closed ended", does that ring true in every decision, or just the large scale ones? This is where the whole icecream thing came in. If God's will is a particular layout...wouldn't all of our decisions be important? Wouldn't He have a plan for even the smallest choices we make?

However, if His will is open ended, doesn't it almost seem like He is indifferent. It's like "I have a plan for you, and my plan is that you plan your life"

Does this make sense?
I'm just trying to understand. Neither seems right to me, and I don't know what the balance or "inbetween" is. Or maybe the truth of it is completely different than both of these examples. I'm using the "open ended" and "closed ended", because these are the two theories that I have been told.

Thanks

[Deb]

Whichever decision gives you peace in your heart is the right decision.

Pray to God and put all of your trust in him. Make your decision. Good things and bad things are going to come to you in your life. If something will help you to grow in holiness, then turn towards it. That can be true for any decision. I wouldn't worry too much about the little things.

Edited August 8, 2008 by Deb

[Winchester]

God hates Peppermint ice cream and unsalted butter.

[CatherineM]

There are also differences in God's intermediate will, and his ultimate will. His ultimate will is that we live a life of faith and service. My dad was very bright. He could have gone to school and become anything he wanted to. He just had some heavy crosses get in the way, like being orphaned during the depression. He lived with an elderly grandmother and dropped out of school early to support them both. Then WWII came along. He worked in a garage doing manual labor until he was 70 years old. He worked past retirement because I was in college. He never complained when it was 110 or -10 outside, he just got up and went to work. He didn't care what he did for a living so long as he could be a family man. That was his true vocation.

We can sit around and worry that we are choosing the wrong path, and drive ourselves nuts. He told me once that life is what happens to you when you are making other plans. I'm not saying that we shouldn't try to discern what the Lord wants from us, I just don't think he cares that much about whether you become a doctor or a plumber, we need both. The exception to that are those called to the religious life obviously. Live your life instead of worrying about it. If you make a choice that seems the right path for you, and then later you realize that you made a mistake, so what. You can always go back to school, retrain, or just regroup. Most of the stuff that happens to you in life is so outside of your control anyway. I was supposed to be a judge by this age. I never expected to become disabled. So now I'm in grad school studying theology. My legal education hasn't been wasted, I use it everyday, I'm just not a lawyer anymore.

So in 10 years I may still be just teaching catechism, or maybe I will decide to train to be an oceanographer later. My dad also told me once that he didn't care if I wanted to be a garbageman so long as I was happy, and tried to be the best garbageman I could be. I think that's what God would say to us too, if we could sit down to tea with him.

[Winchester]

Oceanographers are cool
[img]http://thecia.com.au/reviews/l/images/life-aquatic-with-steve-zissou-3.jpg[/img]

[KOIfriend]

[quote name='Divided' post='1621322' date='Aug 8 2008, 01:01 PM']Choices. This is one of the things that I am struggling to understand right now. From what some people say it appears that there is only one right choice. But then when I listen to other people, I’ve heard that it’s not about one right and one wrong, but two rights. I’m trying to understand this. Let me explain.

When it comes to small things like choosing what to eat, deciding what I wear, deciding what I do with my free time, choosing between one flavor of icecream or another… is there a “right” choice? Are these seemingly insignificant things actually significant? To the people who claim there is only “one” right choice, does their theory include these small things or just the larger scale decisions. To the person who claims that God’s will is open ended and that it’s not about “one right and one wrong” but, two rights…I think they are trying to say that no matter what choices we make, God will work them out for the good. I tend to agree more with scenario number two. Yet, then we move on to the larger scale. Take college for example. The first person would claim that God wills me to go to a particular college. So, out of three choices, only one would be “correct”. The other would say that I could go to any of the three and it would be “correct”. This is where I start to become confused. I can’t believe that God’s plan is completely open ended. Obviously because of free will we have endless possibilities, but if we are really trying to do the will of the Father…how do we know what choices to make? So, in the small decisions I can see why we don’t have to be worried about making the “wrong decision”. I can see how God can use what we give Him and lead us to Himself. But on a larger scale, although I can believe that God will use whatever we give him and will make the most of our choices, I don’t believe that He is completely indifferent to what we choose. However, the theory of God having a stone-like plan does not seem to fit either. Honestly, I don’t know what to make of it.

What do you think?
Do you know what the Church teaches on this?[/quote]

I'm not sure if there could be a teaching on this, because that is really cornering God into something, and I don't think we would want that period.

You have questions, and guess what, questions are great, because that means you are open to learning.

God has a plan for us, and that plan is spiritual. I think we get to hung up on the physical, and not think the spiritual when it comes to God. The thing is to be humble before him. Ask him what you should do with all things, and he will lead you, if you can hear his voice.

So, you are slightly correct about the choice of college thing. Does God really have a preference on different colleges. No. But, what if you feel God wants you to go to a certain college, and you don't, and because of it, you don't have the support system to continue to grow in him daily? What if you were suppose to meet your soul mate there? What if there was a job that pays your tuition there, and not the other colleges? What if, what if, what if.

A year ago, I had to stop going to college because God moved on me that I shouldn't be there until next year. At the time, I had about two grand saved up. Right now, I have three grand in the bank, and the first year has been paid for. They say hind sight is 20-20. I am glad I have a God who has hind sight, and passed the knowledge to me, because, looking back, I am glad I waited the extra year, because I am much more financially able to do this then last year - cool eh.

The objective is to be humble before God, do as he asks, because he wants what is best for you, and you're not smart enough to figure it out.

[KOIfriend]

[quote name='Winchester' post='1621864' date='Aug 8 2008, 06:01 PM']God hates Peppermint ice cream and unsalted butter.[/quote]


[img]http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/Assets/evilclown.jpg[/img]

And the [url="http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/evilclown.htm"]evil clown[/url] returns!

Copyrighted to [img]http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/fwlogo.gif[/img]

I also here he despises Oceanographers.

Edited August 9, 2008 by KOIfriend

[MissScripture]

I didn't read through everything, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating what someone has already said.

I think that while there are "right" decisions, you can't mess up enough that God can't fix it. I mean, while you should be concerned with what God wants and seeking God's will, we should not be petrified of having made a "wrong" decision. It doesn't mean that the rest of our life will be terrible.

[Deb]

I am a living testament to wrong decisions. I can guarantee you can make a complete mess of your life, do everything wrong, live in sin and God will never, ever turn his face from you. We are the ones who turn from him.
He is forgiving and compassionate and merciful. Blessed be his name. Do not be afraid. Just have faith. God will make good things come of our bad decisions.

[Selah]

[quote]I am a living testament to wrong decisions[/quote]

As am I. Choices can be funny things. Should I do what feels right or what I know is right? It ain't always easy to pick the latter, at least in my case. Deb is very right, God can take bad decisions and make them into something you can look back on as a learning experience, growing pains even.

[KOIfriend]

[quote name='Winchester' post='1621864' date='Aug 8 2008, 06:01 PM']God hates Peppermint ice cream and unsalted butter.[/quote]

Oh, I forgot, God hates [url="http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/evilclown.htm"]Evil Clowns[/url] too!

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='KOIfriend' post='1622133' date='Aug 8 2008, 08:37 PM']Oh, I forgot, God hates [url="http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/evilclown.htm"]Evil Clowns[/url] too![/quote]
Just because nobody replied the first time doesn't mean you should say it again...
On a lighter note, how do you reconcile that with your little signature there?