Garter Toss

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='rachael' post='1615379' date='Aug 1 2008, 06:58 PM']I suddenly love my Polish ancestry even more. [/quote]

Me, too, even if its only a quarter. lol Matt and our kids are more Polish than I am. A couple of aunts, uncles, and cousins gave us anywhere from 5-20. I joked with Matt because, thanks to my grandfather, I "made" more than he did.

[abercius24]

Lol. If you look at the poll, I think you get the answer very quickly. Though half of us can see past the sexual connotations that come with the garter, the other half of us end up praying the rosary on the way home from the wedding just to calm our minds from the scandalous thoughts we've been led to. So brides ask yourself this: "Do you want half of your wedding guests thinking sexual thoughts of you, especially on your wedding day?"

Edited August 2, 2008 by abercius24

[rachael]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1615388' date='Aug 1 2008, 06:08 PM']Me, too, even if its only a quarter. lol Matt and our kids are more Polish than I am. A couple of aunts, uncles, and cousins gave us anywhere from 5-20. I joked with Matt because, thanks to my grandfather, I "made" more than he did.[/quote]
You know what that means!

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='dUSt' post='1615185' date='Aug 1 2008, 02:31 PM']Speaking of wedding traditions, I bet I'm one of the few people on phatmass that has actually "jumped the broom" at my wedding.

nanny nanny boo boo[/quote]
Certainly the only white guy...

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='rachael' post='1615502' date='Aug 1 2008, 10:50 PM']You know what that means! [/quote]

They love me more?

[Barbarus]

[quote name='jmjtina' post='1615097' date='Aug 1 2008, 12:52 PM']

dude, if you think all that is tacky, I'd hate to meet you in real life!!!!!!!!

My whole LIFE would be tacky!!!!!!!!

[/quote]
I'll try not to judge too harshly in the event that happens.

[quote name='scardella' post='1615124' date='Aug 1 2008, 01:17 PM']I'm italian, but I'm not offended. I just like the dollar dance and telling people where I'm registered. I've heard of $600 or more at a dollar dance (I like it being called the money dance, but whatever). It also makes a huge difference if they tack it to the bride/groom somehow, or if it's put in a bag/hat/beer stein/whatever instead.

Listing the registry really helps people who want to know "What should I get them?" but would either be embarrassed (for whatever reason) or just plain wouldn't think of asking.

As for garter tosses, I think they're pretty tacky too.[/quote]
From the wedding etiquette sources I've consulted on this (a friend who is Miss Manners personified), the idea is not to keep people in the dark about where you're registered. You can still let people know where you have registered, just not in a formal sense. It came up because I was telling her that we are going to request no gifts (we are both older and have the stuff necessary to establish a household). I said I was going to say something to this effect, and she said it is not proper etiquette to associate the invitation explicitly with gifts. This makes sense to me. You are inviting people to join in your celebration not because you will materially benefit from their presence, but because you love them and want them to be part of your joyous event. Any gifts they offer should be freely given as a sign of your guests' affection and goodwill to you and your spouse. You may reasonably suppose that people you invite will love you enough to want to support your future, but setting that as a baseline expectation denigrates the relationship to a certain extent.

Presumably, the people you invite to your wedding are people with whom you or people who can speak for your wishes have regular contact, so they should be able to find out where you are registered through channels other than the invitation.

I think this was the problem I had with the dollar dance I witnessed (which again, was my first and not tied to any ethnic traditions). The bride and groom has programmed it as part of the reception. "This is the time when you give us money." It's one thing for me to freely offer money to support dear friends or family in a spontaneous dollar dance (like IcePrincessKRS describes -- I think that is a beautiful example of family and friends caring for and wishing a new couple well). It is another for the couple to set a time and expectation for people to give. A gift freely given is, in my opinion, more fully a gift than one for which some level of obligation has been established.

So I guess I don't have a problem with dollar dances as a whole; like I said, the one I've described is the first I've seen. Honestly I had no idea that it was tradition in so many places. I'm willing to concede that not all dollar dances are tacky.

[quote name='picchick' post='1615126' date='Aug 1 2008, 01:17 PM']I have nothing planned for my wedding. I guess I kinda figure that I want the guy's point of view as well.[/quote]
When my bf and I first started talking about getting married, he told me he had no interest in planning any of the wedding details. He told me he would give me money and allow me to plan as I saw fit. Turns out, he's pretty opinionated on the topic. Even a guy's guy like mine has some idea of what he does and does not want in a wedding ceremony and reception. All the "girly stuff" like flowers and so on is still up to me, though. And he absolutely hates putting together the guest list. Guys are weird about this stuff, is all I can figure.

Edited August 2, 2008 by Barbarus

[johnnydigit]

i don't know the history behind the garter toss, but it seems like a scandalous tradition that is not needed and better off done away with. to pass on a blessing to get married, throw something else, like the bouquet, oh wait they already do that. how about a real blessing by the priest?

it boggles my mind how people overlook such a thing with giggles because it is so "accepted" and an innocent "tradition". the garter is lingerie. it is underwear.[b] you are throwing a piece of your underwear at people.[/b] however you wrap that up, it is not modest.

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='Mary-Kathryn' post='1614343' date='Jul 31 2008, 03:43 PM']I have seen the garter placed as far up the leg as the bride could possibly get it. Then I've seen the groom get under the bride's gown and come out with it in his teeth. All in the presence of children, the minister/priest/pastor, in-laws and the elderly. What a cringe-inducing and very uncomfortable sight for everyone to behold.

Personally if I wanted to see what the bride had on underneath her gown I would just ask. But I **really** don't care to see what used to be ( at one time a garter was used to hold stockings up) part of people's underwear dangled about in public.
But this is just me. Call me a prude

ps. I just saw another reply and was NOT replying to dust. Our posts intersected.[/quote]

precisely. even before my conversion i knew that i wasn't the only one that would force a smile while cringing inside at the site of this event. if you can't see who is blushing, you can see the awkward and uncomfortable expressions behind most of the fake smiles.. i don't know what was going on in other people's minds, but mine was usually, "ew." even worse, having to go up and having someone's underwear thrown in your face.. with a smile of course.