Groo the Wanderer Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 It just came to me as I prayed. God is kinda cool like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balthazor Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 I appreciate everything guys but right now I would really like to die suddenly so pray for that.... it seems to be easier. To be honest I hate myself and I hate my life right now. I am in Germany. I have told him. It wasn't how I planned to tell him... but he got the idea. His response was "at least I exist" meaning that he existed while God did not. He is hurt, he barely talks to me or smiles at me. I should dig a hole, crawl in it and die for what I am doing to him..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Aww...I wish I could give you a big hug, right now! I can't imagine what you're going through...*prayers* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 [quote name='Balthazor' post='1607177' date='Jul 24 2008, 08:41 AM']I appreciate everything guys but right now I would really like to die suddenly so pray for that.... it seems to be easier. To be honest I hate myself and I hate my life right now. I am in Germany. I have told him. It wasn't how I planned to tell him... but he got the idea. His response was "at least I exist" meaning that he existed while God did not. He is hurt, he barely talks to me or smiles at me. I should dig a hole, crawl in it and die for what I am doing to him.....[/quote] Hugs and prayers. Come over to the Netherlands for a bit, we have excellent hot chocolate, vla and stroopwafels. And a few kick-ass churches to make you feel good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balthazor Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 You are the second person to offer me accomodation in the netherlands. Thank you. I appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 lol! I wonder who the other person might have been Oh wait, you didn't say it was a person on Phatmass, right? Because that would have seriously narrowed it down Seriously though, feel free to pop on over. It's gorgeous weather today. Besides which, if you can, try and take heart from the fact that although they perhaps don't talk about it so much, there are most definitely people who either are or have been in a situation very similar to yours; they've come face to face with the dilemma and the heartache that comes with both it and their ultimate decision. It's good that you've gone to friends (and relative internet strangers) and asked for their help and prayers. You will be ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 He's mad at what you're doing to him? That is not love. That's him being selfish. Maybe he is a wonderful person etc. etc. but right now he is being selfish, and it's better to recognise that he is the one at fault, not you (even if he does make you feel like you're doing something wrong.) Shakespeare was pretty darn funky, and he said 'love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.' If he can't accept your willingness to do good, then he is not being loving, because love is not selfish. To love is to have the best interests of the other person in mind and to encourage them to do the right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.P. Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 [quote name='Noel's angel' post='1607379' date='Jul 24 2008, 11:09 AM']He's mad at what you're doing to him? That is not love. That's him being selfish. Maybe he is a wonderful person etc. etc. but right now he is being selfish, and it's better to recognise that he is the one at fault, not you (even if he does make you feel like you're doing something wrong.) Shakespeare was pretty darn funky, and he said 'love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.' If he can't accept your willingness to do good, then he is not being loving, because love is not selfish. To love is to have the best interests of the other person in mind and to encourage them to do the right thing.[/quote] I second that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 +J.M.J.+ [quote name='Groo the Wanderer' post='1606980' date='Jul 23 2008, 09:30 PM'] It just came to me as I prayed. God is kinda cool like that[/quote] well, thank you for being His instrument. [quote name='Balthazor' post='1607177' date='Jul 23 2008, 11:41 PM']I appreciate everything guys but right now I would really like to die suddenly so pray for that.... it seems to be easier. To be honest I hate myself and I hate my life right now. I am in Germany. I have told him. It wasn't how I planned to tell him... but he got the idea. His response was "at least I exist" meaning that he existed while God did not. He is hurt, he barely talks to me or smiles at me. I should dig a hole, crawl in it and die for what I am doing to him.....[/quote] i will pray for you today. [quote name='Noel's angel' post='1607379' date='Jul 24 2008, 10:09 AM']He's mad at what you're doing to him? That is not love. That's him being selfish. Maybe he is a wonderful person etc. etc. but right now he is being selfish, and it's better to recognise that he is the one at fault, not you (even if he does make you feel like you're doing something wrong.) Shakespeare was pretty darn funky, and he said 'love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.' If he can't accept your willingness to do good, then he is not being loving, because love is not selfish. To love is to have the best interests of the other person in mind and to encourage them to do the right thing.[/quote] total ditto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Praying for you! [quote name='Noel's angel' post='1607379' date='Jul 24 2008, 05:09 PM']He's mad at what you're doing to him? That is not love. That's him being selfish. Maybe he is a wonderful person etc. etc. but right now he is being selfish, and it's better to recognise that he is the one at fault, not you (even if he does make you feel like you're doing something wrong.) Shakespeare was pretty darn funky, and he said 'love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.' If he can't accept your willingness to do good, then he is not being loving, because love is not selfish. To love is to have the best interests of the other person in mind and to encourage them to do the right thing.[/quote] Amen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 (edited) Isn't there a saying about hiding that precious thing that is your heart safely within the protection of God and that it's up to the other person to choose to find it? Or something like that. You have done the right thing. He may be the first you've known to display compassion but that doesn't give him the right to take part in what destroys your soul. He may be one of the "good guys" but it's not like he deserves a medal for it. Or sex. I'm in England. I'll come over to the Netherlands for some hot cocoa and stroopwafels! Edited July 24, 2008 by Ash Wednesday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puellapaschalis Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Phatmass Meetup For Balthazor Support in the Netherlands! (we'll find a great Mass to go to, don't worry about that. It's not all dodgy here, you just need to know the right people ) Oh, and I'll add my voice to the others, but perhaps with a wee tiny caveat. He could be angry partly because he just doesn't get it. Keep your distance, keep your heart safe, but pray for him. If he's worth it, if you are his treasure, then he will come around. But he must still work for your love; don't compromise on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Vega Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 [quote name='Balthazor' post='1607177' date='Jul 24 2008, 12:41 AM']His response was "at least I exist" meaning that he existed while God did not.[/quote] Tell him when he creates and populates the heavens and earth for you and then sends his only begotten Son to die for you on a cross, you'll think of giving him another chance. Seriously, though, we can all feel for you - we've all been in situations where we've had to leave behind or have been left behind. Keep in mind that he was just a distraction - the right guy is trying to find you...just remember he doesn't have a map. He'll get there soon enough Prayers that you'll be able to remember the important things and why they are so, and that your heart will be mended quick, fast, and in a hurry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 [quote name='Balthazor' post='1605080' date='Jul 22 2008, 05:29 AM']I need help.[/quote] Well if he loves you sincerely there is nothing to worry about. You can't keep beating your conscience down, you **need** to tell him, for your sake and his. God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 (edited) It's possible he feels somehow rejected or less "loved" and would have to be assured that he is not any less loved, but that you believe sex to be one of the highest expressions of physical love only meant to be within marriage. This could be just the first of many hurdles, especially since you are getting serious and if you were considering marrying him at some point. How would he feel about having children? Raising them Catholic? Birth control? Things like that will come up eventually so it's a good thing you're taking a stand now rather than "surprises" later. Edited July 24, 2008 by Ash Wednesday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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