Lil Red Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 +J.M.J.+ [quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1605081' date='Jul 22 2008, 04:57 AM']Prayers for you and him. Doing the right thing is often difficult. [/quote] amen to that. [quote name='Balthazor' post='1605099' date='Jul 22 2008, 07:22 AM']I am asking for prayers or advice regarding the situation more than anything. I thank all of you that offer support.[/quote] you know you got my prayers, most definitely. [quote name='Luthien' post='1605133' date='Jul 22 2008, 08:22 AM']God will not punish you for standing up for what is right. If XIX will eat his laptop if you're not happy after this, than I will shave my head. [/quote] wow, you've got some hardcore support, balty!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Balty! Welcome back...been a loooong time. Don't be so hard on yourself by calling yourself names. You're not a bad Christian or a bad Catholic. You are carrying a huge cross. The fact that you turn back to God over and over shows where your heart truly lies. You're right - you can't get rid of God - He isn't giving up on you, we aren't giving up on you - so don't you give up on you. You are in a tough spot, that I cannot deny. As one who has also struggled with the back and forth pull of sin or God or sin or God or sin or God, I can attest that His mercy is infinite. I too have felt the 'tiredness' you describe. I found that letting go, throwing my hands up, and saying "All right God. I tried my way and I'm not happy. Let's do it your way" made things so much better. I too will be praying hard for you. I pray that Christ will help you carry this cross and give you the strength to let Him lead you through this. We are all the prodigal son, we are all the one lost sheep... God be with you! PS - on a lighter note....since you're back, does this mean the return of heated political banter and all things coagulated milk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I have a friend here who was able to successfully excise sex from her relationship with her boyfriend. It was hard at first, he was a fallen away Catholic. Now they are both practicing the faith, and thinking about getting engaged. It will be a lot harder when dealing with a man who doesn't believe in God, but if he cares about you, it is worth a try. Don't focus so much on the spiritual, because he may not be able to understand. Focus on how this is important to your feelings of self esteem, or mental health. That may be easier for him to appreciate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I will pray for you. I do think that there is no choice, if you had to choose. God is the only choice. You cannot rely on anyone in this world, only God will always be standing by your side, no matter what you do. You also need to think about where you see yourself with your boyfriend in the future. Do you believe you can have a totally committed relationship with God and marry an atheist? Do you think you will convert him or will he convert you? Going into a marriage with different faiths is very hard, going in with someone who has no faith will be beyond difficult. Sex is a beautiful thing but, without committment or marriage or a unified understanding of what its purpose is, it is wrong. I think you know all of this, you just dont' want to face it. Pray, pray, pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 (edited) I agree with CatherineM- maybe focusing less on the spiritual will make more sense to him. Try explaining that you want to give yourself to one person, forever, with no fear and no regret, and that as much as you might love him, you may not marry him. You're honoring your future spouse, whoever he is, by waiting for him. If your boyfriend isn't the one, you'll be very glad you stopped, I think. If he's as much as a wonderful man as you say he is, he would drop anything harmful to make you feel comfortable again. It'll take work, but it's very possible to do. I would give up my boyfriend in an instant for God if He asked it of me, and he understands that. It's about priority...you're doing the right thing! Be strong, and be confident in your faith. God will never abandon you. Edited July 22, 2008 by MissyP89 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Be straight with him. Don't be alone with him. You have my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balthazor Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 Thank you all. I appreciate your support and well wishes. I had been very busy in Prague and I am having a hard time finding balance in my life. I hope you forgive me for my leave of absence. I am trying to recollect the pieces of my life. It is not going to be easy to try and change the tenor of the relationship. But My boyfriend is a good man, this will be hard for him, but he loves me. Even if he can not accept it I know he loves me. I have never had a man treat me as well as him. I will just have to be gentle but firm. We will see. ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 [quote name='Balthazor' post='1605491' date='Jul 22 2008, 04:56 PM'] Thank you all. I appreciate your support and well wishes. I had been very busy in Prague and I am having a hard time finding balance in my life. I hope you forgive me for my leave of absence. I am trying to recollect the pieces of my life. It is not going to be easy to try and change the tenor of the relationship. But My boyfriend is a good man, this will be hard for him, but he loves me. Even if he can not accept it I know he loves me. I have never had a man treat me as well as him. I will just have to be gentle but firm. We will see. .....[/quote] +J.M.J.+ pray for St. Michael's help, and St. Maria Goretti's intercession for him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiscerningSoul Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Choose God, he will never leave you astray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 (edited) You know, you should never have to choose between a man and God. They should reflect one another. If you can't see the man without leaving God behind, then the man isn't worth it. (I don't mean that the man himself isn't worth loving - I'm sure he is a good man - I mean that no man is worth the price of your soul). Your man might be willing to wait until marriage now that you're going to change the character of the relationship to exclude activities meant for marriage alone. If he truly loves you and it was meant to be, then he will wait until marriage. But he may not understand why this exclusion has to be made since he doesn't know God. I can see how you are in a hard position. The only piece of advice I would give you without flinching is that you must stay out of sin, because it's only going to hurt you, him, and God if you do not. Your relationship will not flower into a beautiful marriage if you do not stay out of sin. Walking away from him today and never seeing him again would make all three of you more happy and would make you more holy than your walking back into sin. So if that's what you have to do, take courage! But regardless, you have my prayers. Edited July 23, 2008 by Totus Tuus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ookami Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Balthazor' post='1605491' date='Jul 22 2008, 07:56 PM'] Thank you all. I appreciate your support and well wishes. I had been very busy in Prague and I am having a hard time finding balance in my life. I hope you forgive me for my leave of absence. I am trying to recollect the pieces of my life. It is not going to be easy to try and change the tenor of the relationship. But My boyfriend is a good man, this will be hard for him, but he loves me. Even if he can not accept it I know he loves me. I have never had a man treat me as well as him. I will just have to be gentle but firm. We will see. .....[/quote] *praying* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 prayers for you, Balty. love and light to you both, always! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rckllnknny Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 (edited) that takes alot of courage to be honest about it. my mom always used to tell me if you find a bird and let it go, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesnt, it wasnt yours to begin with. Edited July 23, 2008 by rckllnknny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Prayed my rosary for you today, Shan... Really fitting they they were the Glorious Mysteries. As I prayed, something struck me about your decision to conform your will to His... As Christ rose from the dead, so you too will rise from the death of sin As Christ was raised up to Heaven, so to will you be lifted up from your anguish As the Holy Spirit descended upon the Apostles, so too will the peace of Christ descend upon you As His holy Mother was caught up to Him in Heaven, so too will Christ catch you up in His open arms as you turn to Him As Mother Mary was crowned in glory, so too will you be glorified as the chains of sin drop from your heart...all of Heaven rejoices when the lost lamb is found again! peace! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rckllnknny Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Groo the Wanderer' post='1606201' date='Jul 23 2008, 03:30 PM']Prayed my rosary for you today, Shan... Really fitting they they were the Glorious Mysteries. As I prayed, something struck me about your decision to conform your will to His... As Christ rose from the dead, so you too will rise from the death of sin As Christ was raised up to Heaven, so to will you be lifted up from your anguish As the Holy Spirit descended upon the Apostles, so too will the peace of Christ descend upon you As His holy Mother was caught up to Him in Heaven, so too will Christ catch you up in His open arms as you turn to Him As Mother Mary was crowned in glory, so too will you be glorified as the chains of sin drop from your heart...all of Heaven rejoices when the lost lamb is found again! peace![/quote] where did that poetry come from? (i like it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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