Breastfeeding At Mass

[Archaeology cat]

OK, now I've read all the posts.

[quote name='picchick' post='1595426' date='Jul 9 2008, 12:25 AM']Babies need to eat every few hours. They cannot wait like a toddler can. They need to eat when they need to eat. It is also part of their developmental stage. Their needs need to be met.

I think that it is important to start taking your children to Mass as early as possible and teaching them how to behave in Church. My mom and dad would not bring a newborn to Church until things were settled...which would be a couple of weeks. That is fine especially depending on the weather. However, I think that if you are going to raise a Catholic family you need to teach your family about the Mass. What better way than to bring them. I understand that babies do not undertand what is going on but as a family, the family should attend.

There is a way to breastfeed withoutmaking a deal out of it. You put a sheet over your shoulder and waa laa! Instant wall. They make things now that cover the whole front and the back where you are feeding so NOTHING shows at all. So I think that it can be done anywhere. I am not a fan of just pulling up your shirt and start feeding there...I think that for your own privacy (meaning that even though the breast is used for feeding it is still a breast) you need to do some covering.

Meg[/quote]
Totally agreed that children need to go to Mass from the beginning. I started taking Kieran at Christmas (he was born the very end of November). In general, he does very well and is even attentive sometimes. I will say, though, that there is a way to be discreet without having a sheet or nursing cover (for those babies, like Kieran, that hate being covered up). A friend of mine usually wears a nursing tank under her shirt. I don't do that, but wear something that I can easily nurse in without flashing anyone.

[quote name='Noel's angel' post='1595494' date='Jul 9 2008, 01:09 AM']I'm sure most of us here were brought up knowing when it is appropriate to talk and when it isn't. Nowadays though, people think it is fine for their kids to run around the church, shouting and crying. Recently, a family let their child wander off, then realised she was nowhere to be seen. Luckily an elderly woman found her at the entrance to the church and kept her there until the parents came for her.

I applaud all parents who bring their children up well, and as we all know, kids can be unpredictable. So I have complete understanding when a normally well-behaved child is restless now and again. My beef lies with the poor parenting, not the children.[/quote]
Yes, unfortunately there are a couple of children that are allowed to run around in Mass. But not many.

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1595625' date='Jul 9 2008, 03:07 AM']+J.M.J.+
imo, the only way that children learn to behave in Mass is going every week (or daily), and learning what is appropriate and not appropriate. it's not the child's fault if the parents go too infrequently to Mass to learn. (which really bugs me!)[/quote]


Any my apologies if I'm coming across harsh or anything. I'm just very passionate about breastfeeding.

Edited July 9, 2008 by Archaeology cat

[friendofJPII]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1595797' date='Jul 9 2008, 02:15 AM']OK, now I've read all the posts.
Totally agreed that children need to go to Mass from the beginning. I started taking Kieran at Christmas (he was born the very end of November). In general, he does very well and is even attentive sometimes. I will say, though, that there is a way to be discreet without having a sheet or nursing cover (for those babies, like Kieran, that hate being covered up). A friend of mine usually wears a nursing tank under her shirt. I don't do that, but wear something that I can easily nurse in without flashing anyone.
Yes, unfortunately there are a couple of children that are allowed to run around in Mass. But not many.


Any my apologies if I'm coming across harsh or anything. I'm just very passionate about breastfeeding.[/quote]

I think when they are infants and nursing it is easier. They stay in one place. It's really difficult to hold a toddler's attention, tho, and almost impossible to expect him/her to behave during the entire mass. During that time, a nursery service at Church, leaving them home with the other parent, is sometimes necessary. If that's not an option, the parishioners just have to patient, and maybe the Mom can watch the mass again on EWTN if she missed most of it because she was watching her toddler.

Edited July 9, 2008 by friendofJPII

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1595824' date='Jul 9 2008, 09:46 AM']I think when they are infants and nursing it is easier. They stay in one place. It's really difficult to hold a toddler's attention, tho, and almost impossible to expect him/her to behave during the entire mass. During that time, a nursery service at Church, leaving them home with the other parent, is sometimes necessary. If that's not an option, the parishioners just have to patient, and maybe the Mom can watch the mass again on EWTN if she missed most of it because she was watching her toddler.[/quote]
I still personally don't think it's necessary to leave them at home and thus split the family. I think it far more important to continue going together as a family so the child sees that and learns how to behave. I know some friends of mine struggle with their 3-yr-old, because he likes to run about, but they're still there as a family every week, and he's getting better (except for after Mass, when he tries to run into the road). He isn't really a distraction, though. I actually get distracted by an older lady who usually sits a few rows behind me and makes faces at Kieran all during Mass if I'm holding him over my shoulder. I just have to make sure he's either nursing, sleeping, or facing forward on my lap, though, and then it's fine.

Oh, and I try to look at the readings before or after Mass, in case I miss something.

[homeschoolmom]

This reminds me of a story our pastor told us once (so, how "true" it is is questionable).... He said it was true.

He said that at his previous parish there was a family sitting in the front pew and the little child (about three) was beginning to get antsy. The parents tried to get the child on track, but quickly realized that she was just being naughty. So the dad got up, picked the girl up and hoisted her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. As he was walking up the aisle to the back, the little girl lifted her head up off her dad's back and shouted "PRAY FOR ME!"

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1595853' date='Jul 9 2008, 01:11 PM']This reminds me of a story our pastor told us once (so, how "true" it is is questionable).... He said it was true.

He said that at his previous parish there was a family sitting in the front pew and the little child (about three) was beginning to get antsy. The parents tried to get the child on track, but quickly realized that she was just being naughty. So the dad got up, picked the girl up and hoisted her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. As he was walking up the aisle to the back, the little girl lifted her head up off her dad's back and shouted "PRAY FOR ME!"[/quote]

[friendofJPII]

[i][quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1595827' date='Jul 9 2008, 03:51 AM']I still personally don't think it's necessary to leave them at home and thus split the family. I think it far more important to continue going together as a family so the child sees that and learns how to behave. I know some friends of mine struggle with their 3-yr-old, because he likes to run about, but they're still there as a family every week, and he's getting better (except for after Mass, when he tries to run into the road). He isn't really a distraction, though. I actually get distracted by an older lady who usually sits a few rows behind me and makes faces at Kieran all during Mass if I'm holding him over my shoulder. I just have to make sure he's either nursing, sleeping, or facing forward on my lap, though, and then it's fine.

Oh, and I try to look at the readings before or after Mass, in case I miss something.[/i][/quote]

yeah, I'm more distracted by those who leave early, talk in Church, or receive communion irreverently, than I do a crying baby or fidgety toddler.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='friendofJPII' post='1595864' date='Jul 9 2008, 01:54 PM'][i]

yeah, I'm more distracted by those who leave early, talk in Church, or receive communion irreverently, than I do a crying baby or fidgety toddler.[/quote]
Yep. It's been really hard lately with lots of kids making their first Communion, but neither they nor their families have been to Mass (at least at our parish) before & talk almost the whole time. But that's another topic entirely, so I'll stop there.

[friendofJPII]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1595867' date='Jul 9 2008, 08:00 AM']Yep. It's been really hard lately with lots of kids making their first Communion, but neither they nor their families have been to Mass (at least at our parish) before & talk almost the whole time. But that's another topic entirely, so I'll stop there. [/quote]

I know the worst is when you go to weddings where people have not been to mass in ages, and the priest has to give directions, please sit, please kneel, or they all look around dumbfounded at what to do next. But of course they all go to communion. when they shouldn't.

[Barbarus]

I have always thought that part of being a Christian, much less a Catholic, is being part of a family. In that family, we're supposed to accept those who are not in the same place we are spiritually and to help them in their journey toward holiness. St. Paul has that lovely passage about respecting the conscience of a weaker brother. I've always thought there are no brothers weaker than the children who are part of a church/parish.

I've read over most of the thread and I gotta say that people who go to Mass so they can have quiet reflective alone time with Jesus are in the wrong place. If you want to do that, go to adoration. Mass is a place where the family gathers, and sometimes it will be loud and boisterous. Fussy kids are part of the family, as are breastfeeding babies, and maybe if we look at them as members of God's family rather than nuisances we would be better off. Maybe a crying baby or a breastfeeding baby is meant to remind us of the beauty of new life in Christ. Maybe kids are meant to remind us that the kingdom of heaven belongs to people who are as children.

Nursing babies definitely have a place in the Mass. A baby may not be able to commune, but he or she still receives Jesus through his mother's milk, just as the Church our mother sustains us with our Lord. Children and babies are not a nuisance; they are an opportunity for us to grow in holiness.

[StColette]

As a soon to be new mommy and regular Mass going person, I plan to breastfeed, even at Mass if the baby is hungry. As long as it is done with discretion there should be no problem with this. Infants need to eat, and they will let you know when, they can't be put on a strict schedule. Toddlers can wait a little while longer if they are hungry during Mass.

I don't like the thought of my husband going to one Mass and then me going to another one and not let the baby go to Mass. I just can't imagine that. The baby from the moment he or she is born becomes part of the Church. They may not be baptized yet but the Church family is to welcome this child into the fold, not push it away until it gets a little older. During the Easter Vigil the Church as a whole invites the new comers into the faith. The priest asks those gathered at the Mass if they accept these people into the fold. It is no different for an infant. The family of the Church is to welcome every new member of the Church with open arms no matter age, sex, race, or what have you. I don't think I would like to belong to a Church that would not welcome a new life into its midst. That life could someday be a priest, religious sister or brother, or who knows even the Pope.

I just don't understand the hypocracy sometimes. Everyone is all excited at the Church when the mom is expecting, but once the baby gets here its "Oh No! A baby, how dare they bring it to Mass". That just doesn't make any sense at all.

Babies cry and coo all the time and we should not get all fussy when they do, because that's just what they do. Now if baby can't be soothed after a little bit of loving or whatever he or she needs, then the parent should take the baby to the cry room or outside if you don't have a cry room or area that will suffice. Babies have every right to be at Mass that we do, just because they can't receive the Eucharist doesn't mean God doesn't shower down His graces upon them when they attend Mass with the rest of us.

I love seeing babies at Mass, and I always have. You just can't help but notice them and then thank God that He gave us such a miracle. And I've noticed that elderly people love seeing babies at Mass as well, not to mention seeing young people at Mass in general. The older people at the Church where I work are absolutely thrilled about my pregnancy. They come by the desk every morning after Mass for updates and to look at any new ultrasound pictures. They keep asking me if I'm planning on bringing the baby with me some days so they can see him or her. There is just something about babies and small children that just make you think Heavenly, and I think older people recognize that more than us younger ones.

As for toddlers and younger children that misbehave during Mass, it's usually because they are bored because they can't see whats going on because the parents have them sitting in either the cry room or way way back in the back and the parents aren't helping to engage their children on what is going on through the Mass. A Professor of mine, who is also a Deacon, taught us that it is best for families with small children to sit right up front. The kids feel more engaged by what is going on because they can't actually see what is going on and there are less distractions for them by sitting way up front. I've seen this work very well. My youngest niece, who isn't Catholic and has never gone to Mass before, was one of the flower girls for my wedding. She is four years old and was so well behaved during the 1 and 1/2 long ceremony. She sat right up in the front row with my dad. Of course, my dad taught her to wink at Micah and I lol but it was so cute to look down at her from where we were sitting and see her smiling back up at us. I would watch her every now and then and she would just be looking in almost wonderment at the stained glass windows, at what the priest was doing, and the paintings.

God Bless,
A soon to be breastfeeding Mass going mommy

[Apotheoun]

The Eastern Churches still celebrate the "Churching of women" on the fortieth day after the birth of the child, and that is when the mother and child together begin attending liturgy on a regular basis.

In the Byzantine tradition after the baptism, chrismation, and first communion of the baby, he or she continues to receive communion on a weekly basis.

Edited July 9, 2008 by Apotheoun

[Archaeology cat]

StColette, I know what you mean about the older people at the church liking babies. This one older gentleman comes to the parish early to pray, and he absolutely loves seeing Kieran when we arrive.

I also think it's good for babies & children to be around older people, not just other children. Just my opinion.

And I'll have to remember that about sitting towards the front as Kieran gets older. . .

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Apotheoun' post='1596021' date='Jul 9 2008, 04:33 PM']The Eastern Churches still celebrate the "Churching of women" on the fortieth day after the birth of the child, and that is when the mother and child together begin attending liturgy on a regular basis.

In the Byzantine tradition after the baptism, chrismation, and first communion of the baby, he or she continues to receive communion on a weekly basis.[/quote]
I actually wanted to do the "churching", but wasn't sure if that's normally done in Latin Rite parishes or whatever. I ended up not asking my priest, but maybe with the next one. . .whenever that may be.

[Apotheoun]

I think that the ritual for the "Churching of women" and the "Churching of the child" were done away with in the modern Roman rite.

[Apotheoun]

The prayers for "Churching" are available at the link below:

[url="http://www.goarch.org/en/Chapel/liturgical_texts/churching.asp"][u]Prayers for the Churching of a Mother and Child After Forty Days[/u][/url]