Breastfeeding At Mass

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='aalpha1989' post='1765112' date='Jan 29 2009, 02:46 AM']It is an act of charity for a woman to breastfeed elsewhere. There is absolutely no reason why she cannot find another place. It is distracting to the people around her, and her obligation is still fulfilled if she leaves Mass to breastfeed. Basically, it is inappropriate. Just because something is natural and good does not believe it belongs in the Holy Mass.[/quote]
Sometimes there really isn't another place. As I've said before, my parish has no cry room. My options are to go to the foyer, which is open to the cold air, or walk across the sanctuary with a crying baby to where the children's liturgy is, thus disrupting them as well. Again, I've also said before that I sit in an out-of-the-way place so that people aren't disturbed.

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1765125' date='Jan 29 2009, 02:50 AM']95% of the time the people around her have no idea that she is feeding a baby, so it is certainly not distracting, or inappropiate.[/quote]
Yep. I've had a grand total of 1 person figure out what I was doing, as far as I know. That was during the Sign of Peace, as people aren't generally looking at me at any other time.

[quote name='Bubblicious' post='1765179' date='Jan 29 2009, 03:16 AM']If you're paying attention to the Mass, you won't notice.[/quote]
Exactly.

[quote name='Socrates' post='1765198' date='Jan 29 2009, 03:23 AM']Those breastfeeding cloths (or whatever they're called) which cover up the breast and part of the baby's head are very discreet, and do not show anything at all. That's quite different than ladies whipping out their boobs in church.[/quote]
Some of them are called Hooter Hiders. For some kids (like mine) using a cover is actually less modest because he has a tendency to pull it off and then pull himself off. So I tend to go the tanktop under a looser sweater route, so there's really no skin showing at all. I did use a nursing cover at first, when he was really little, though.

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1765321' date='Jan 29 2009, 04:57 AM']+J.M.J.+

bull croutons. read through the whole thread to see rebuttals of your position. including pictures of Mary, quite openly breastfeeding.


yes, and most moms do use a cover cloth. as far as i'm concerned, at one parish i attend, the 'cryroom' is basically a breezeway to the restrooms, not any more private than sitting in church. at another parish, they don't even have a cryroom. [/quote]

Edited January 29, 2009 by Archaeology cat

[Ziggamafu]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1595362' date='Jul 8 2008, 06:02 PM']+J.M.J.+
i came across two articles, one from [url="http://theanchoressonline.com/2008/07/08/nursing-at-the-mall-and-at-mass/"]the Anchoress[/url], who linked to the article from [url="http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4022&Itemid=48"]insidecatholic.com[/url].

from the article from InsideCatholic.com:


from the anchoress:

my emphasis added.

[url="http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_myblog&show=PHOTOS-Another-rude-woman-breastfeeding-at-Mass.html&Itemid=127"]here's a link with some interesting pictures.[/url][/quote]

My wife always breastfed at Mass. We always took a baby blanket; she looked silly, but she was basically cocooned whenever it was going on and you couldn't even tell what was going on (e.g., she may have been cold or something). I see nothing wrong with it in this context. If she didn't breastfeed in public than she would have never been out with the baby - never would have went to Mass.

[StColette]

[quote name='aalpha1989' post='1765112' date='Jan 28 2009, 09:46 PM']It is an act of charity for a woman to breastfeed elsewhere. There is absolutely no reason why she cannot find another place. It is distracting to the people around her, and her obligation is still fulfilled if she leaves Mass to breastfeed. Basically, it is inappropriate. Just because something is natural and good does not believe it belongs in the Holy Mass.[/quote]

Can you provide substantial support to say that breastfeeding would distract people? The only reason I could see that it would be distracting is if a person was watching a mom the entire time and happened to notice she was breastfeeding. Number 1, why is the person looking around at the people during Mass instead of paying attention to the Mass. Number 2, if a person does happen to glance over at a breastfeeding mom all one has to do is turn away, most moms are well covered so this usually doesn't matter. One need not sit there at watch the mom as she breastfeeds. Also what do you think people did before breastpumps and formula? Breastpumps and formula have made breastfeeding in public less common. But the days before these things women would most certainly breastfeed their babies during Mass. What is the mom supposed to do back then, not attend Mass? That's just not spiritually or emotionally healthy. My dad was born before the ages of breastpumps and formula, so my grandmother would breastfeed him at Mass. How can something be not inappropriate then and now be inappropriate? And as someone else pointed out, sometimes there is not anywhere else to go. Plus I find it more distracting for someone to get up and down out of their seat at Mass then a mom to quietly feed her child while keeping her seat. Yeah there is usually a cry room, but cry rooms are anything but private and are usually filled with people who do not belong there.

At the Steubie conference last year there was a young breastfeeding mom sitting a row ahead of our group, which our group had teenage boys in it. I was worried about how the boys would react toward breastfeeding, especially being teenage boys. They weren't phased at all by it. Most men, even teenage boys, are mature enough to handle a mother breastfeeding, because seriously there's not anything really sexy about it.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Ziggamafu' post='1765586' date='Jan 29 2009, 02:03 PM']If she didn't breastfeed in public than she would have never been out with the baby - never would have went to Mass.[/quote]
Very good point. I'd never get out if I couldn't feed Kieran in public.

[quote name='StColette' post='1765628' date='Jan 29 2009, 03:03 PM']Plus I find it more distracting for someone to get up and down out of their seat at Mass then a mom to quietly feed her child while keeping her seat.[/quote]
Agreed.

[Veridicus]

Be discrete. If someone complains, then be even more discrete. Use the cry room if available. Some people may really struggle with sexual issues and just the thought of a bare breast may scandalize them and set their mind down a dark hallway, regardless of how natural and innocuous the initial stimulus was. Just be discrete and always, always consider how your actions affect others. The thing about scandal is you can't just say "well they shouldn't be scandalized by that" and dismiss their struggle and go on doing whatever you want. Be considerate, be discrete...and God bless you for caring enough to breast-feed your child!

Edited January 29, 2009 by Veridicus

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Veridicus' post='1765634' date='Jan 29 2009, 11:19 AM']Be discrete. If someone complains, then be even more discrete. Use the cry room if available. Some people may really struggle with sexual issues and just the thought of a bare breast may scandalize them and set their mind down a dark hallway, regardless of how natural and innocuous the initial stimulus was. Just be discrete and always, always consider how your actions affect others. The thing about scandal is you can't just say "well they shouldn't be scandalized by that" and dismiss their struggle and go on doing whatever you want. Be considerate, be discrete...and God bless you for caring enough to breast-feed your child![/quote]

Who ever said we were baring our chests or showing anything in public? Cry rooms are not always appropriate places to try to feed a baby because its usually filled with crying kids who try to crawl all over you, AND little kids are far more observant than adults. If you are paying attention to the Mass you could have a whole room of breastfeeding mothers and not even notice. It is not dismissive to point out that it is their struggle and they need to deal with it, and a discrete woman cannot be responsible for what a man thinks everytime she is in public and her child gets hungry.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
[quote name='Veridicus' post='1765634' date='Jan 29 2009, 08:19 AM']Be discrete. If someone complains, then be even more discrete. Use the cry room if available. Some people may really struggle with sexual issues and just the thought of a bare breast may scandalize them and set their mind down a dark hallway, regardless of how natural and innocuous the initial stimulus was. Just be discrete and always, always consider how your actions affect others. The thing about scandal is you can't just say "well they shouldn't be scandalized by that" and dismiss their struggle and go on doing whatever you want. Be considerate, be discrete...and God bless you for caring enough to breast-feed your child![/quote]
cmom says it all for me. and to re-iterate a point that st. colette made, many times, a cryroom is filled with people who are late or who want to leave early - not people who need it.

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1765645' date='Jan 29 2009, 08:48 AM']Who ever said we were baring our chests or showing anything in public? Cry rooms are not always appropriate places to try to feed a baby because its usually filled with crying kids who try to crawl all over you, AND little kids are far more observant than adults. If you are paying attention to the Mass you could have a whole room of breastfeeding mothers and not even notice. It is not dismissive to point out that it is their struggle and they need to deal with it, and a discrete woman cannot be responsible for what a man thinks everytime she is in public and her child gets hungry.[/quote]

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='Veridicus' post='1765634' date='Jan 29 2009, 10:19 AM']If someone complains, then be even more discrete.[/quote]

Oh! Are we allowed to complain about people at mass? Goody!

That means that I can turn to the woman who can't stop coughing and tell her to move?

I can say to the guy in front of me that I don't like that he smells like an ashtray and I'm offended that I have to smell him when I kneel?

I've wondered about the old man with the bad gas who always manages to be near me. I can tell him I'm offended?

And the old lady with the oxygen tank? Can I mention to her that she bothers me?

Or I could just offer up all of those little sufferings and try to focus harder on the mass.

[puellapaschalis]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1765701' date='Jan 29 2009, 07:46 PM']Or I could just offer up all of those little sufferings and try to focus harder on the mass.[/quote]

This. Verbum.

[Angel*Star]

[quote name='MithLuin' post='1755648' date='Jan 19 2009, 05:34 PM']The obligation to attend mass on Sunday or be guilty of a mortal sin does not apply to children younger than the age of reason (under 7) or to their caregivers....so the Church really does leave up to the discretion of the families at what age and how often to bring a child to mass.[/quote]
I wish I had been a Phatmasser when this thread started. I have been having babies and nursing them for 21+ years. If it is true I don't need to attend mass because I am a caregiver, I would pretty much not be Catholic. Most of what I know today about my faith I have learned in the last 21 years. Our family attends mass together every Sunday. If for some strange reason we don't, a little one gets nervous and wonders why! They really do behave well. We have always sat up front. I will say, however, that in the beginning I went to the cry room (which was a sacrifice I could offer up) and nurse. With the last one, who had eating issues, we kept her home the first month. After that, I sat more in the middles and "blended" in. I began to realize nursing in my seat was better than leaving. If I left, several of the younger ones wanted to come with me. Talk about distractions - the people who would come up to me - throw off the cover - see what they thought was a sleeping baby. Weren't they surprised - and embarrassed! LOL! Maybe next time they will ask first !!!!

[dominicaninmyheart2]

I think Jesus and Mary would have thought it was okay if it was done discreetly. A mom can't let her baby go hungry and when a baby is hungry, they're hungry. They can't be put on a timeclock even though some people might try to get them to feed on a set schedule.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Angel*Star' post='1850848' date='Apr 28 2009, 02:49 AM']Talk about distractions - the people who would come up to me - throw off the cover - see what they thought was a sleeping baby. Weren't they surprised - and embarrassed! LOL! Maybe next time they will ask first !!!![/quote]
People would just lift up the cover?! Can't say that's happened to me, but then, I haven't used a cover when feeding my son in months (he doesn't like a cover).

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1851129' date='Apr 28 2009, 04:08 AM']People would just lift up the cover?! Can't say that's happened to me, but then, I haven't used a cover when feeding my son in months (he doesn't like a cover).[/quote]
My son was social and always tried to knock it off to wave to people while he ate.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Angel*Star' post='1850848' date='Apr 27 2009, 10:49 PM']Talk about distractions - the people who would come up to me - throw off the cover - see what they thought was a sleeping baby. Weren't they surprised - and embarrassed! LOL! Maybe next time they will ask first !!!![/quote]

I've had this happen once, but it wasn't at Mass. I was at a story hour with my girls and had the youngest in our mei tai baby carrier and she was nursing. Another mom (sweet Mormon lady with 5 kids, also a nursing mom) came up and tried to peek inside the carrier as she said "Aww, she is sleeping?" I quickly put my hand up and said "Nope, she's eating!" I think if a stranger had done it I'd have had a harder time giving a charitable response.

When we go to Mass usually I find a seat and park myself there for the duration, I don't leave the pew unless it's Communion time, or a child has to pee (or is being naughty). When I have an infant that means we stay seated and nurse in the pew. Unless someone is really looking to figure it out no one can tell we're nursing.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1851238' date='Apr 28 2009, 04:14 PM']My son was social and always tried to knock it off to wave to people while he ate.[/quote]
Kieran likes to play with me while he eats. Or he likes to clap. Otherwise he'll just fall asleep.

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1851245' date='Apr 28 2009, 04:32 PM']When we go to Mass usually I find a seat and park myself there for the duration, I don't leave the pew unless it's Communion time, or a child has to pee (or is being naughty). When I have an infant that means we stay seated and nurse in the pew. Unless someone is really looking to figure it out no one can tell we're nursing.[/quote]
That's what I do.