Spiritual Dryness And Discernment

[TeresaBenedicta]

How does one deal with spiritual dryness and discernment?

I mean, I know for me... I'm going through a very rough spell of spiritual dryness right now. I feel so lost and confused, so far astranged from God. I can't find any words to talk to God and I have a difficult time praying. But I understand that this is a normal process for souls and I am trying to be patient, to persevere even if it is difficult and painful.

But, how does one discern when they're having troubles even knowing the God is with them? And I don't necessarily mean discerning religious, but even the everyday types of things.

I have no idea what God is calling me to right now: what I'm supposed to be studying in school, what I'm supposed to be doing during this summer, whether or not He wants me to play softball next year...

Nevermind the fact that I'm also trying to discern the big picture of religious vocation.

But with this great dryness, I have no idea on how to discern God's will for my life.

Anybody have any thoughts?

[cathoholic_anonymous]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' post='1588866' date='Jul 2 2008, 06:47 AM']I have no idea what God is calling me to right now: what I'm supposed to be studying in school, what I'm supposed to be doing during this summer, whether or not He wants me to play softball next year...

Nevermind the fact that I'm also trying to discern the big picture of religious vocation.[/quote]

I think you have your answer in the first paragraph that I've quoted.

Perhaps you are simply not meant to know. How could we learn to trust Him if we always knew what was going to happen next? Trust is fundamental to everybody's vocation. We can't get very far without it. I think that you should just accept your confusion and your doubts about the future and live with them peacefully, perhaps making a simple prayer of trust at various points in your day. "Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in you," is the prayer that I use.

As for discerning the big picture, I've slowly come to realise that discerning the big picture never really happens. You work with little pieces of a mosaic, and because your nose is inches from your work you don't realise what the big picture is until you can step back (maybe on your deathbed) and take a good long look at it. God will guide you to the big things through the small things almost without you noticing.

I don't feel comfortable with talking about the specifics of my own discernment right now, because I know that I have to learn to be more patient. I am the live-in carer for a good friend who has been ill for nearly half her life. I don't know how long her illness will last or how long I'll be with her. Before I moved in, I mentioned to somebody that I would have to postpone my vocational journey. Now I realise that that was a silly thing to say. Even in all this uncertainty about the future I am still following my path. I just don't know what it is or where it's going. One thing I do know, though - God is at the other end. And that's enough knowledge for now.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

Double post.

Edited July 2, 2008 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[Fr. Bruno]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' post='1588866' date='Jul 2 2008, 07:47 AM']I can't find any words to talk to God and I have a difficult time praying.[/quote]

Well, the best words you can find are the ones God gave us, especially the Psalms. Saint Augustin said (I can't remember the exact quotation) that God has given us words to praise him.
I often recommend to people to take one Psalm and to read it over and over again, slowly, and let the words go deep into your heart. One of my prefered ones is Ps 34 : [i]I will bless the Lord [b]at all times[/b]...[/i] That means : even when I have sinned and feel guilty, even when I'm tired, sad, suffering, or whatever... Why ? Look at vers 6 : [i]Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
[/i]I believe one of the biggest struggles in our lives is to learn not to look at ourselves, but to look up to God, the source of light.
Now why is dryness so painful ? Saint Theresa of Lisieux once said (I don't know the exact translation) that she prefered the monotony of sacrifice to exalting spiritual experiences. She accepted dryness, because she had understood what it meant to be loved by God and to love Him. Another quotation from saint Jean-Marie Vianney says that " there is always springtime in a heart that loves God ". My conclusion is : accept dryness as an invitation to love God freely, without expecting anything in return... and pray the Holy Spirit to guide your daily decisions.
Meditating Ps 1, or Ps 63 may also be helpful...

[Fr. Bruno]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' post='1588866' date='Jul 2 2008, 07:47 AM']I can't find any words to talk to God and I have a difficult time praying.[/quote]


Well, the best words you can find are the ones God gave us, especially the Psalms. Saint Augustin said (I can't remember the exact quotation) that God has given us words to praise him.
I often recommend to people to take one Psalm and to read it over and over again, slowly, and let the words go deep into your heart. One of my prefered ones is Ps 34 : [i]I will bless the Lord [b]at all times[/b]...[/i] That means : even when I have sinned and feel guilty, even when I'm tired, sad, suffering, or whatever... Why ? Look at vers 6 : [i]Those who look to him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.
[/i]I believe one of the biggest struggles in our lives is to learn not to look at ourselves, but to look up to God, the source of light.
Now why is dryness so painful ? Saint Theresa of Lisieux once said (I don't know the exact translation) that she prefered the monotony of sacrifice to exalting spiritual experiences. She accepted dryness, because she had understood what it meant to be loved by God and to love Him. Another quotation from saint Jean-Marie Vianney says that " there is always springtime in a heart that loves God ". My conclusion is : accept dryness as an invitation to love God freely, without expecting anything in return... and pray the Holy Spirit to guide your daily decisions. meditating Ps 1, or Ps 63 may also be helpful...

[toservelove]

My heart goes out to you. I think most of us on this forum have felt that at some time.

I have a few things that worked for me, though none of them work right away.

I would agree that praying the psalms is great. Pray [b]through[/b] your dryness. Say something along the lines of, "Lord, I offer you this dryness." I would also say a prayer like that at mass as the gifts were being brought to the altar and ask God to accept the dryness as my sacrifice for some special intention.

Mother Angelica said something along the lines of how those of us who love the Lord and long to be close to Him can't always expect to be receiving the love or the feelings of love. Sometimes we have to choose to love him even when we don't feel it.

I don't want you to be scrupulous, because dryness is NOT a sin, but I have felt better after doing a thorough examination of conscience and taking my sins and my dryness to confession.

Many of the saints have recommended saying a prayer or devotion very, very slowly and lovingly--lingering over the words and what they mean to you. The Our Father, the Stations of the Cross, or the Salve Regina.

I hope one of these suggestions, or someone elses suggestion will touch your heart and you'll try it. Remember these words: "Be still, and know that I am God."

I'll pray for you.

[Sister Rose Therese]

Our Major Superior gave me some very good advice about discernment that might help you here.
God isn't always going to tell you the answers. Sometimes we have to just make the best decision we can and go with it, trusting in the Lord's guidance even if you can't feel it. If you do the very best you can, with the the best information you have, humbly accepting the guidance of others and with good intentions, would God let you be misled? Would he not turn you around if you got on the wrong path?
Another thing that has helped me at times like that is from St. Ignatius' Discernment of Spirits. I'm not going to get this quite right but here's the gist of it. Don't make changes when you are going through a time of desolation. The idea being that you keep praying the prayers and good works, etc. that you were doing before you were experiencing desolation. It can be too easy to drop or change resolutions when we are not experiencing consolation. If you want a more accurate description there are a lot of different books about this.

[Luigi]

Dryrness in terms of vocational guidance can be very frustrating; know that this too shall pass eventually.

Think about the timelines and these topics - how soon do you need/expect to get an answer? If its an important decision, God might figure that you need more time to consider your options, gather information, get used to the idea, or whatever. If the decision must be made soon, just do the best you can with the information you have now - as another poster recommended.

One tactic that might help is to decide what topics you need God's guidance on and which ones you can decide for yourself. Whether to join a religious order - that's a big one, and anyone would want God's help with that. What to major in is pretty important, too, and most conscientious Christians would want some divine input. Whether or not to play softball next summer? You can probably decide that on your own. (Personally, I never pray for/about sports - I figure God has bigger fish to fry.) Narrowing your topics down might make you feel less "left out of the loop" because you would be geting no answer on fewer topics - it's contorted logic, so I hope you know what I mean.

Another question is what kinds of guidance are you expecting? A still voice within that whispers what to do next? With logical arguments and supporting details that explain why? A sudden, sure knowing? Some of us get those kinds of communiques from God, but I've found that God often works through his other servants on earth - if your folks recommend a major, and you know they have your best interests at heart, that could be a sign from God - a way of communicating what you need to know next. Friends, school counselors, neighbors, your parish priest, your granny - all of them may be channels of God's will, and the peace that comes from knowing it.

I had a friend who was trying to decide whether God wanted him to go back to college for another semester, and which college, and so forth. My mom piped up to tell him, in a pretty definite tone of voice, that God wasn't going to stand in line for him at the registrar's office so he'd better make up his mind before the registration deadline [big cheesy grin]. (BTW, he did go back to school.)

Hang in there.

[TeresaBenedicta]

Thanks for the advice and input.

I've been trying to stick to my 'normal' prayer routine, which consists of Morning and Evening prayer, etc. And I especially take comfort in the psalms. That an be at least somewhat easier to persevere in, although any personal-time (ya know, chatting with Him or even just spending time) doesn't go over very well. Like I mentioned before, words don't form. Which can make it difficult to discern, because it's as though I can't even ask!

I don't know what type of voice I'm looking for, or how I imagine to hear God's answer... Maybe that's part of the problem. I don't know how to listen. I've had some pretty big God-speaking-quite-clearly-to-me moments before, but I know that will not always be the case.

I mean, long term I'm not so much worried about... am I called to religious life? Well, I have three years to wait anyways, and I trust that God will make that clear as long as I'm focusing on His will for me right now.

But what about right now?

I feel like all I have to go off of are my own desires and nothing else. Which, I know that God works through our desires and likes, too. But, how can you tell if you're desire conflicts with God's? Or that you're really doing His will and not your own?

I mean. I love studying Philosophy and Theology. So, I'm majoring in both of those. But I have no idea what I'll do with either of those after college.

Or, even more pressing... I am on athletic scholarship for playing softball at my D1 college. I'd really like to stop playing, for a plethora of reasons. But there's also a bunch of reasons that I should keep playing. Important reasons that I should keep playing. And different people give me different advice. So, what do I look at now?

See, it's all stuff like that.

I feel like I can deal with the "dryness" and focus on perseverence with that... but it's like it takes all of my effort to persevere that any type of discernment becomes frustrating.

[magnificat]

Do you have a spiritual director whom you can talk to about this? It may be helpful to have that type of assistance, particularly while you're going through this dryness. He/she can help you sort through the different desires you may be experiencing.

With regard to making more immediate decisions, such as your athletic scholarship, a helpful piece of advice I received about situations where you must make a decision and God doesn't seem to be point to any specific option. Pray about it, gather whatever info you practically need, talk to one or two people whom you trust - and then make the best decision that you can. And just tell Jesus that you're doing the best you can with what He's given you - and be at peace about it.

With regards to your studies, from your earlier post it seems that you have at least a few years of school left. If so, try not to stress too much about what you'll do post-graduation. You still have time left to explore potential avenues with regards to your career & vocation.

[tinytherese]

I'm going through a spiritual trial myself. I know that you feel overwhelmed right now, but it won't last forever. Once you accept it, it goes at least somewhat smoother. It takes time though. The Lord is instructing us both in patience. Do you have a spiritual director that could help you?

[TeresaBenedicta]

I do have a spiritual director, which I hope to talk about all of this with the next time we have the opportunity to meet. It's unfortunate that I go to school on a different side of the country from where I live in the summer. It looks as though a nice call with him might be in order, however.

I've spoken to him about the softball issue before, but his advice on that confused me. He did not, obviously, tell me which way to decide. Nor did he really tell me how to decide. He basically told me to think really hard on it before deciding not to play. He said he doesn't want me to let go off something that I'd regret doing later in life. But, he also said that the scholarship money I'd be losing could be made up, that God would provide. So, I don't know on that account either.

Perhaps I do need to call him, just to talk. He's just really busy and I've never exactly called him before, so I'm hesitant to do so. I tend to shy away from awkward situations like that.

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I don't know your reasons for not wanting to play softball any more, so I can't really advise you on that.

I'm not sure, however, that a quandary over a sports scholarship is something that you should be talking to your spiritual director about. I know that we should seek God's guidance in everything, but this doesn't amount to making everything into a 'spiritual' decision, if you understand what I mean. It might be better to talk to one of your academic advisors about the scholarship, as it is an academic concern. They would be better placed to guide you through your options.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1589927' date='Jul 3 2008, 08:24 AM']I don't know your reasons for not wanting to play softball any more, so I can't really advise you on that.

I'm not sure, however, that a quandary over a sports scholarship is something that you should be talking to your spiritual director about. I know that we should seek God's guidance in everything, but this doesn't amount to making everything into a 'spiritual' decision, if you understand what I mean. It might be better to talk to one of your academic advisors about the scholarship, as it is an academic concern. They would be better placed to guide you through your options.[/quote]

I think that all big decisions are spiritual, in one sense or another. And I'd probably be tempted to agree with you (I mean, it's not like I discuss what my summer job will be, etc with my s/d), but softball has been/is a huge part of my life and has/does affect my spiritual life as well. There's also history with that, but there's no need to get into it.

I don't know.

I keep sliding between the apathetic mood and the giving up mood. I prefer the giving up one, because I at least have something in me that fights it. Apathy is harder to fight.