I Am Humbled.

[fides quarens intellectum]

you're right. sorry for bothering you guys.

Edited June 11, 2008 by fides quarens intellectum

[VeniteAdoremus]

I don't think you were a bother.

Maybe you can't be a full-blown spiritual director (well, make that probably, although they all have to start somewhere). And I do agree that maybe this women deserves something better from the diocesan office... but well, I'm not used to much (as far as I can tell we don't HAVE a diocesan vocation office), and anyone can do with a friend who can pray with her, help her sort through the jungle out there, and generally be open and impartial.

[fides quarens intellectum]

please don't think i am trying to be a spiritual director! the only thing i actually suggested to her was to try getting a spiritual director!! i have no interest in being a spiritual director, and am trying to find some info like i might have for any of my friends.

i am very sorry to have caused any pain to the serious discerners on this board - you guys are so amazing.

[VeniteAdoremus]

Again, no pain taken, I'm quite, quite sure - you're giving people the oppertunity to plug their favourite monasteries, something they'd probably pay for

(Yes, of course I am currently trying how I can spin "cloistered" and "Latin" into "active Dominican in England" or "SSVM". By the way, did I tell you that Dominicans and Blue Sisters are awesome?)

[gloriagurl]

[quote name='fides quarens intellectum' post='1568689' date='Jun 11 2008, 08:11 PM']you're right. sorry for bothering you guys.[/quote]

Fides, you are not a bother and I'm not sure how you got that out of what I said. In re-reading my post, I don't think I made it clear that most of my disturbance was coming from what the priest was asking you to do. Yes, I did say I thought that caution should be exercised...and perhaps what preceded it was too harsh....if so, I apologize to you...it was not meant to be a personal attack and again, I do think that you are doing your best to be helpful...and yes, you came to the right place for information...but I don't think you should have been put in the position you are in. That's all.

Pax

[Chiquitunga]

I don't think there’s anything wrong about this priest asking assistance for young women who come to him asking for vocational help.

First, usually a priest who is the Vocations Director for a Diocese is more specifically the director for young men discerning diocesan priesthood - at least that's how it is in the Archdiocese of Chicago. But for those discerning religious life, both men and women, you usually go another route, and it's usually a bit more complicated, as there's just so many communities out there and different ways of life, etc.

When I was first discerning religious life, I went that route of seeking what the Archdiocese offered for those discerning and attended the annual Diocesan Vocations Retreat. But it was really very general with only a few sisters from different communities who attended, and no one who knew much about the different cloistered contemplative communities. And the Archdiocese of Chicago is generally pretty good, though very big. Also from my experience talking with a few priests in the diocesan offices, many times they don't generally know as much about all the specifics when it comes to different communities and charisms. Often they are very aware of the communities within the Archdiocese, but not too many others. So it ends up being a lot more helpful to talk with someone who's more totally concentrated on this. So that's what organizations like the Institute on Religious Life are there for.

So anyway, it seems reasonable for a priest to ask help from someone who may be able to spend a little more time researching communities, and offering suggestions to get them started, apart from spiritual direction, which it doesn’t sound Fides is being asked to give at all. Usually it ends up that people discerning religious life do most of this research on their own.

Some dioceses do have a lot more to offer than others, like the Diocese of La Crosse, which has a great priest, Fr. Samuel Martin, who does Nun Runs usually twice a year to really great communities across the Midwest, and they even have a House of Discernment for women. Actually I just realized from their site, they have a separate [url="http://www.dioceseoflacrosse.com/ministry_resources/consecratedlife/"]Office of Consecrated Life[/url], whose director is a Franciscan Sister from Alton, IL, than the [url="http://www.dioceseoflacrosse.com/ministry_resources/vocations/"]Office of Vocations[/url], which is specifically for vocations to the diocesan priesthood. This is the same for Chicago. But with the Diocese of Colorado Springs, they don’t have this. So they have to work with what they have, and we have to be there to help. So I think it’s great what you’re doing, Fides. Maybe something bigger will grow from it, like getting a whole other Office in the Diocese specifically for the Consecrated Life.

But again, this brings up the point on how important organizations like the Institute on Religious Life are. I would definitely refer people to them ( [url="http://www.religiouslife.com"]http://www.religiouslife.com[/url] ) I remember back when I was first trying to figure out where to look, I did the [url="http://db.religiouslife.com/reg_life/irl.nsf/adv_search"]advanced search[/url] on their site, and it really helped. God bless!

Edited June 12, 2008 by Margaret Clare

[franciscanheart]

fides, you've done nothing wrong in asking for help here. we are to pray for our priests. if we must criticize, we should do it in private. you have been asked to do something marvelous. you are an instrument of the Lord and there is nothing wrong with that. priests aren't superheroes. they're people too.

[the lords sheep]

I agree especially with Margaret Clare. Even my spiritual director, who knows TONS of religious Sisters and is a director for some of the Sisters in the diocese (and the two diocese nearby), isn't in depth familiar with every order, every charism, and especially not every monastery. I mean, think about it... unless you've actually visited a monastery, you'd have no idea that there were differences between each one. Look how much a Carmelite monastery can vary from one city to the next: many even have different constitutions!
So, fides, I think there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. You're merely acting as a friend who is helping this woman to sort out information (and there's a LOT out there!). I've done it with my friends, as I'm certain others have here. I'm no spiritual director, but by speaking with someone, I can help them match what they think they're looking for with orders that begin to fit that description. It's up to the SD to help them discern if that order/the religious life is what their soul needs and was created for.
As long as the priest isn't asking you to be an SD to this woman, I don't see any harm in you helping her.

[fides quarens intellectum]

[quote name='Margaret Clare' post='1568995' date='Jun 11 2008, 09:34 PM']But again, this brings up the point on how important organizations like the Institute on Religious Life are. I would definitely refer people to them ( [url="http://www.religiouslife.com"]http://www.religiouslife.com[/url] ) I remember back when I was first trying to figure out where to look, I did the [url="http://db.religiouslife.com/reg_life/irl.nsf/adv_search"]advanced search[/url] on their site, and it really helped. God bless![/quote]

Thanks for the website - i only knew about the CMSWR one - i am compiling a list of information you guys have generously offered to pass along to her.


And, for everyone else - thanks for your support and prayers - this stuff's new to me, and i was worried i might be upsetting the serious discerners in here. The charity you guys are showing in this thread is inspiring.

Yes - the vocations director is also a full-time pastor who handles the seminarians as a second full-time job for the diocese. Prayers for him are greatly appreciated!

Thanks so much for your help, ladies!!

in Christ.

[puellapaschalis]

I forgot to ask- Is she interested in Novus Ordo Latin or in the TLM? I believe there was a list of TLM communities going around a while ago.

Edited June 12, 2008 by puellapaschalis

[VeniteAdoremus]

Oops. That was me. Sorry