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Showing Affection In Front Of The Kids...


Faith 1st

Do you show affection?  

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[quote name='kujo' post='1564642' date='Jun 9 2008, 11:00 AM']I wish my parents had showed affection towards each other. Perhaps it would've helped their marriage.[/quote]

I'll second that. My mom's and dad's affection was basically non-existent. Not that my dad is a particularly affectionate or sentimental person whatsoever (had to be the oldest and gruffest of 10 kids I guess...). Anyway, when my step dad moved in he was creepily affectionate to my mom which made me crazy for about 8 years before I turned 18 and moved out to get to school. I'm still not really over it to be honest. Probably a lot worse since my dad didnt's how any affection and then my stepdad was creepy about it. Just one of those things that makes you want to scream... :scream:

Edited by Veridicus
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CatherineM

We don't have kids of our own, but we are always seen holding hands while walking to and from church, and often kiss at the kiss of peace during mass. My parents never showed too much affection to each other. My father always kissed us on his way out the door and when he came home at night. We always knew he was crazy about her, but she isn't an expressive person at all. There's a lot of complicated reasons for that. One thing that they did do, is that when my mom was taking a bath, about 10 minutes in, he'd knock on the door and ask if she needed her back washed. Considering the fact that my dad was 47 when I was born, he was in his late 50's to early 60's when I remember him doing that. I don't think it warped me at all. I don't take baths though.

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MissScripture

Whenever we "eww" at their kissing, my parents will say, "Hey! We have a license to do this!"

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My dad always kissed my mom good bye before he went to work but, that is about all I see. They would flirt around now and then but, nothing much. Now, I think they like to be in separate rooms after 54 years.

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CatherineM

My parents went to separate beds when I was in high school. My dad had bad PTSD nightmares, and my mom kept waking up bruised. The final straw was when she woke up on the floor with him screaming "incoming." And people wonder how I ended up so warped.

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MissScripture

My sister freaked out when my parents were staying in seperate rooms, because my mom was working nights, and my dad was sick, and then my mom got sick, so he stayed in the spare room. But no worries, they're in the same room, now! :lol:

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my parents aren't subtle at ALL. :rolleyes: they flirt, hug, and kiss all the time in front of us. I don't mind. :) I like knowing that they're still totally in love with each other. I AM glad, though, that they restrict their kisses in front of kids to a second or two. any longer than that is gross. :P

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I think that kids need to see the affection so that they know what is right and what is wrong. I don't know if that makes sense.

When they see parents showing affection they know how to show affection while still having respect for the other person. A spouses's love is different in that the affection is genuine and not selfish. Kids need to see that in a world where instant gratification is promoted.

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I would never mind seeing my folk kiss, but what unnerved me was years after my father had passed, my mother decided to discuss their sex life with me. I really could have done without that. I practically wanted to go into therapy after that. I would have told her to stop, but I was too speechless to make a sound.

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MissScripture

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1565680' date='Jun 9 2008, 09:42 PM']I would never mind seeing my folk kiss, but what unnerved me was years after my father had passed, my mother decided to discuss their sex life with me. I really could have done without that. I practically wanted to go into therapy after that. I would have told her to stop, but I was too speechless to make a sound.[/quote]
Try having your future mother-in-law talking to you about how much you're going to enjoy make-up sex. :twitch: Can you say awkward?

In my apt. last year, the girls I lived with had a joke. Our parents only had sex as many times as it took to make us and our siblings. :hehehe:

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[quote name='Faith 1st' post='1564608' date='Jun 9 2008, 10:43 AM'][font="Comic Sans MS"]Knightec and I always discuss this....[/font]

[font="Comic Sans MS"]I think that the children should see us share a brief kiss of a pat here and there. My mom never did that stuff in front of us. I never saw her kiss my step dad or even play with him. I have had to work really hard and only now have I been able to show public affection to the love of my life......KNIGHTEC.

What do you think?[/font][/quote]

Thanks, but who are you again?

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Archaeology cat

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1565680' date='Jun 10 2008, 03:42 AM']I would never mind seeing my folk kiss, but what unnerved me was years after my father had passed, my mother decided to discuss their sex life with me. I really could have done without that. I practically wanted to go into therapy after that. I would have told her to stop, but I was too speechless to make a sound.[/quote]
With me it's my SIL - I know entirely too much about my older brother.

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ok, siblings and bro or sis in laws need to keep it private!! Yuk!

We kiss and hug and flirt in front of our three teens~ mostly because we know it grosses them out (nothing serious, but even a peck on the cheek causes gag reflex) I think the 'gross out act' is all an ACT, and they are strengthened by knowing BY EVIDENCE that we have a good relationship. Also, it reminds them that THEY are not the center of this family (or the UNIVERSE for that matter)~ that our sacramental marriage is. Don't you think in today's child-centered society that little Winthorp could use a dose of reality that HE is not 'the source and summit of all love' in the family? Don't get me wrong, we love our kids totally, but wow, they aren't OUR REASON FOR BEING if you know what I mean.

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American society is hardly "child-centered". We abort I think a million babies a year, 1/3 of my generation is fatherless, and 50% of us come from divorced families. Forgive me if I don't see any "child centeredness" in our culture these days.

Anyway, I think it's good for the parents to show some affection to each other in front of the kids. I remember my parents kissing each other in front of me, and that never grossed me out. Probably because I knew those pecks on the cheek were also given to me anyway.

Flirting my parents never did in front of me actually. Maybe I'm weird but I always kind of associated that as rather kidish anyway.

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